Traynor and Company
by Dream-Runaway
Summary: Will Traynor needs a new assistant. And in comes Louisa Clark with her loud and out of place clothing and jumpy eyebrows- possibly the only person who won't send Alicia into another jealous fit. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 _She looks hideous, you should hire her lol_

Will chuckled at the reply he had gotten from his girlfriend Alicia. She was wildly jealous and had insisted he send her pictures of all the interviewees. She was also wildly hot and so he put up with it.

He had to admit she had a point.

Across from the table sat a girl in the loudest clothing he had ever seen. She seemed to have a smile glued on her face even as he continuously interrupted her to check his messages.

This was interview number 14 of the day and second to last and he honestly just wanted to get it over with. He had been impressed by candidate number 7. She was well versed in business and had the face of an angel. Yeah, he had a girlfriend but it didn't hurt to have something nice to look at at the office.

"So sorry, Miss…?" he asked already having forgotten her name.

"Clark. Louisa Clark" she said impervious to his rudeness.

"Right, so why should I hire you?" he asked.

He saw her shoulders slump and her smile falter a little bit.

"Honestly?" she asked seemingly afraid of the question.

"Yes, honestly, Miss Clark. Why should I hire you?" he asked irritated.

"I can't answer that" she replied defeated. "I really, really need a job, Mr. Traynor. I don't know who else you have interviewed and I have a feeling by how little you've written down that you have no interest in my resume. I don't have much experience and no college degree but I am a fast learner" she paused and gulped. "And I will work harder than any of those sophisticated girls who have walked before me because unlike them I really _really_ need this job. And I will work so hard to keep it and make sure you are happy with my work" she enthusiastically said and almost instantly looked afraid of his response.

He stayed waiting for anything else she might say to defend her case and she stayed looking at him with her eyebrows as up in her forehead as he had ever seen and twisting her pink gloves between her fingers.

He heard his phone ding again and with a raised finger towards her he looked down at it in curiosity.

 _Really, hire her. She's perfect lol she can never steal you from me ;)_

He thought about it for a few seconds as he thought of what might become of him when Alicia came into the office and met his new leggy assistant.

Jealous texts and fights from the last time came to his mind and he internally groaned. Just thinking about it makes his head spin.

After all, there might be some benefits to hiring the driven color explosion in front of him…

 **A/N: Hello! This is a short snippet of my new story. Review and follow for more. Chapter 2 coming soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Mum! I got the job!" squeals Lousia as she runs inside their small London apartment shedding layers of bright scarves and coats and gloves.

She hears her mum before she sees her, screaming in delight from the kitchen.

"Oh, that's wonderful darling!" she says as she hugs her as tight as she can and then pulls back to hold her face. "Oh, look at you, with your fancy big city job. Oh, sweetheart, I am so glad! I can't wait to tell your father!" she says as she helps Louisa with her bag- taking it off her shoulder and carrying it into the living room.

"He isn't back yet?" Louisa asks a little downer.

"No, Lou, I'm afraid not. But he had some good prospects today, I think. He got in contact with one of his school friends who moved here many years ago and he gave him some good ideas of places he could apply for" Josie said trying to sound optimistic.

"Oh, that's great, mum!" she said trying to keep up the hopefulness. "Hi, grandad" she said as she walked into their small living room and walked to him to kiss his cheek. He raised his hand lightly to her as she approached but other than that offered no other reaction.

"But it's alright, darling. Now you've got a job and with Treena going to school so close by she can work some nights and weekends. We moved here for her after all" Josie added.

Louisa faked a smile as she carried her things into the small room she now inhabited. If she thought her old room was small, it was grand in comparison to the shoe box she slept in now. Of course, she expected it. Treena as always needed the bigger room for her and Thomas and grandad needed the one closest to the restroom and no one could argue that. And so that left Louisa with the "room" she preferred to refer as "closet".

But it was their life now. Treena couldn't afford to pay for an apartment and go to Uni and the dorms were not included in her new scholarship so of course the entire family must pick up and follow their star child to support her.

Louisa didn't know why it still bothered her at this point. She should have been used to it.

She flopped on her small bed and stared at the ceiling.

She couldn't believe she had actually gotten the job!

When she had arrived there were two other girls waiting to be interviewed and she had instantly felt her chances were slim.

If the Will Traynor who needed the assistant wasn't gay then in no universe was he going to choose her over them. And who knew who else he had interviewed before she arrived.

Only then did she begin questioning her choice of clothing. Her mother had hounded her on her way out for not taking her offer of wearing her business suit. Louisa had insisted this was going to be a very competitive position and if she had wanted to stand out she needed to be herself.

So she had worn her blue skirt with the purple flowers and her matching tights. She had thought her yellow jumper had added a bit of playfulness to the overall outfit even if no one else had agreed with her- including Treena who had rolled her eyes and sighed and said they were all lost if she insisted on going to the interviews dressed that way.

But as she saw the tall skinny girls wearing their expensive clothes- grays and blacks and whites- she had begun to doubt herself just a little bit.

Her family really needed her to get this job or any other for that matter. Would it really have killed her to have dressed like other people for one day?

For some reason though, it had seemed her strategy had worked as he had hired her! She felt doomed the moment she had walked in the room and he wouldn't lift his eyes from the message he was writing. Then when he did he had risen an eyebrow questioningly as he looked her up and down- then made a gesture for her to sit down.

She had felt he had been a little rude to jump right into the questions without so much as a "hello" but she bit her tongue. She really needed to nail this.

And then he had kept looking down every thirty seconds or so when his cell would ding. He wasn't remotely interested in any of the answers to his questions.

In fact, she had thought she had seen him place his cell in an awkward position that looked awfully as if he was trying to capture a picture of her. Was she going to have a rude _and_ creepy boss?

Then out of nowhere he had just said "Very well, you've got the job".

She had made to stand up and thank him for the opportunity as she reached across the table to shake his hand when she had seen that questioning glance in his face again that told her she was not doing something right.

She froze in that position as she replayed the last thirty seconds and realized she may have misheard him.

"I'm sorry, did you say I've got the job?" she had asked feeling somewhat stupid.

"That is what I said, yes" he replied hesitantly.

 _Blimey, he was handsome!_ she realized as she took a proper look at him.

Just then as he stared at her dumbfounded at her stupidity and possibly rethinking having hired her, she realized she had better leave the room before she let on any more how clumsy she really was.

She had hurried towards the door, her heels clacking, and had almost closed it before she remembered to say "thank you" at least.

So sure he had been rude, a bit creepy with the possible picture and skeptical of her but she wasn't exactly expecting another Frank. She was also going to be getting paid much more now so it was in order that the job would be less enjoyable.

Just then she heard the door open and Treena and Thomas greeting mother.

She could tell mum had given her the news as she began exclaiming and running towards her room.

In seconds her door was open and her sister was standing in the door.

"You got the job?" she asked with an excited smile on her face.

"I did" I replied equally excited.

"How? Did he not meet you then? Did no one else apply?" she asked jokingly.

"Didn't even look at my resume" I joked even though I was pretty sure he hadn't.

"What? How? But you have no experience in business?" she asked as she came to sit by me.

"Honestly Treena, I was sure he wouldn't hire me. There were a bunch of prettier and more sophisticated girls there to be interviewed and I'm sure they couldn't have done worse than I did" I expressed openly.

"Well, what matters is you have a job! Finally! I was starting to get worried" she added her tone becoming worrisome. "It's been more than two weeks and nothing for dad and things are so much more expensive here in London! I was beginning to feel guilty for dragging you all over here" she confessed her eyes looking down.

What I really wanted to say was "About bloody time you realized the world doesn't revolve around you!" but what I ended up saying was nothing. Our relationship was shaky enough even if it was her fault we had to move here.

"Well, I've got a job now so we should be fine. It pays really well too! And my boss is really handsome" I added whispering as if we were thirteen again and didn't want our parents to know we were talking about boys.

"He isn't some old man?" she asked skeptical.

"No! He looks almost our age!"

"Oh, I can't wait to hear what Patrick thinks of it" she teased me. "Does he still think this isn't permanent?" she asked me.

"Pretty much thinks we can't handle the big city"

"Well you show him! You tell him about your big corporate job and your tall and handsome boss and then we'll see who can't handle what!" she laughed and I laughed even as my thoughts drifted to Patrick and what would become of our relationship now we were so far…

And so that night when he called, I let him talk about himself and mentioned as little as possible about my new job.

"Patrick, you sound out of breath, what are you doing?" I asked as I lay in my small bed staring at the shockingly close ceiling.

"I'm running; didn't I tell you?" he asked.

"Not really, no" I replied a little confused.

"I've taken to running lately. You know, having all this free time and no girlfriend and whatnot" he said half laughing, half panting.

"Patrick, you make me feel bad saying that. So now you've taken to running to take care of all this extra energy?" I asked feeling guilty. Patrick had been so great about the move. He had insisted we could make it work even though I let him know I understood if he didn't want to be together anymore. We had agreed to travel to see each other in the weekends but so far neither one of us had been able to. I hadn't been able to afford the trip what with none of us having jobs yet and Patrick argued that he'd rather wait to visit me till I had found a job and was settled.

"It's alright. Now you've got a job you can come see me!" he said happily.

"I hope so. It might be a few weeks before I can go though. I don't know how soon I'll be getting my first check and we might need it until dad gets a job" I observed worried.

"Your dad hasn't got a job yet?" he asked shocked.

"No, he's been looking but he's older now and doesn't have too much experience with these city jobs" I reminded him.

"Well, your family can't expect to live off of you, Lou" he said as his breath loudly came off the speaker.

"Patrick, how can you be on the phone with me and running?" I asked just now realizing the technical difficulties of the task and avoiding answering his question as well.

"Oh, I got myself one of these Bluetooth devices" he shared excitedly having completely forgotten what he had been upset about. "Now I can talk and run with no problem!"

"Oh, great!" I said, glad to not have had that conversation with him again.

Later that night, I lay awake thinking about Patrick so far away and wondering if we could really pull this off. We had been together for over four years now so we had fallen into an easy routine together but now his girlfriend wasn't readily available I wondered if it would hurt the relationship. I had thought I had seen some signs he might have wanted to propose soon and now I'm sure it isn't going to happen. Eventually I fell into a restless sleep and thankfully was allowed to sleep in the next morning. Dad was home having run out of ideas and so we sat a for some hours looking for jobs on the net and were able to submit his resume to a few places though we were being more hopeful than anything as he was hardly qualified for any of the jobs.

But hey, if I could nail an assistant job for a big company then surely it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities for my dad.

Mom continued to move things from here to there convinced we hadn't arranged everything as efficiently as possible but I had feeling she just didn't know what to do with herself now she had less to clean.

On Sunday Treena had insisted we shop for new clothes for my new job, dictating mine weren't appropriate for an assistant. I found it completely unnecessary. I had been hired while wearing my normal clothes and why should I be expected to now show up with different ones?

Though Treena argued that what I considered "normal" clothes weren't the actual common definition of it. I of course ignored it. I wasn't about to change who I was for this or any job. There was a time when I might have but life had taught to me to be the way I was and I was glad to be that way.

"Anyways, it's not like we can afford to be buying clothes at a time like this, Treena. We have to use every penny for the house" I tried talking some sense into her, feeling guilty about what we were about to do.

"And that is why we have to do this!" she argued playfully. "You need this job badly and the way to keep it is by starting to behave like a proper assistant and dressing like one" she said teasingly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, one eyebrow raised at her as we walked arm in arm down one of the outside shopping centers in London. We hadn't gone inside the stores yet but by the looks of them I wasn't going to be able to buy anything in them even if I wanted to.

"That means no insulting people and being professional…"

"What would you know?" I asked interrupting her.

"More than you! Anyways, that's what we learned at Uni" she said flipping her hair over her shoulder with an air of superiority.

Of course, she had to bring up her knowledge and her half-finished degree. Just when we were actually having a pleasant conversation.

I took a deep breath and tried to distract myself from where my bitter thoughts were taking me. Just then I saw a used clothes shop and instantly my mood changed.

"Look, Treena, let's go there!" I said almost jumping up and down with excitement, my smile as wide as it would go.

She gave me that "Really, Lou" look but I ignored it and dragged her across the street, my eyes already on a pair of yellow pumps with pink butterflies on them, sitting there for me at the shop window.

 **A/N: Sorry if the chapter felt short. I will probably be updating frequently just in shorter chapters unless you guys prefer longer chapters even if they take longer to write. Let me know what you think! More Will to come next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all the readers and to the feedback you give! I appreciate all of you!**

 **Chapter 3**

"So who did you hire in the end?" Alicia asked as I removed myself from on top of her.

"The one you suggested" I replied panting. It was just like her to ask something like that right after we had just had sex.

"Really? I hope not on my account. I had been joking!" she said as she propped herself on her elbow to look at me.

Sure she was.

"Not at all, I mean, I do consider your feelings when making these decisions but ultimately she was the better choice" I said going along with her charade. She had been fantastic to me tonight after all.

"Oh really? How so? Did she have an Oxford diploma under that neon scarf?" she asked scoffing but trying to sound sweet.

I looked at her thinking of what I would reply. Really, I'd much rather she admitted she would have thrown a fit and not had sex with me for a week otherwise. Then we could save ourselves this tedious conversation and just lay quietly.

It wasn't that I needed Alicia. In fact, I knew of several of the incredibly good-looking applicants that I could call right now and would agree to go out with me. But we'd been together for a few months now and were living together and she really wasn't the worst girlfriend I'd had.

Her guilt over her jealousy made her a very generous lover. And she really was unbelievably hot.

"No, she simply seemed the most motivated and willing to go the extra length for this job" I said truthfully this time. She really did seem the most committed to doing whatever was required of her be it getting me a coffee or writing up a proposal for a potential buyer.

I could see her eyes calculating whether to ask what I meant by "extra length" or not- whether it was worth it to provoke me further or not. So far I had played along but she knew not to push it.

I decided to choose for her and simply got up and walked towards the bathroom to finish readying myself for bed and closed the door after me.

She had almost managed to ruin my good mood.

I checked my BlackBerry as I brushed my teeth and saw a few messages from both Rupert and the broker in New York. I replied to both as I finish up and walk back to the bed.

Alicia lays there, wearing my shirt now and I lay next to her inhaling her perfume from her hair. She has already turned the bedside lamp off and by her breathing I can tell she is close to being asleep.

I smile as I think I must have really tired her out tonight.

The next morning I wake up to 13 more messages. The broker says they need me there to close the deal and they've already booked me a flight in four hours.

I look to my side and see Alicia is gone already, probably off to brunch with her bratty friends.

Oh well, all the better for me. Save myself the pouting when I tell her I'll be in New York for the next few days.

I call Rupert as I begin packing what I will need.

"Rupe, I'm off to New York at 2" I tell him as soon as he picks up. I'm holding the cell between my shoulder and my ear sorting through my recently dry cleaned dress shirts trying to decide which will make me look older and more mature. If I'm going to close this deal in person I can't let my 32 years of age hurt it. It wouldn't be the first time a retiring business owner does a double take when they see who will potentially buy their small empire. I pick two grays and white shirt. From our phone conversations he seems the traditional type.

"Alright well, I won't be in the office today, mate. Check in with Charlie if you need anything" he replies to me.

"I've got everything I need. I just got a new assistant and she's starting Monday. Just look out for her and get her filing the paper work I've got on my desk. I don't know if I'll be back in time to show her the ropes. If you're too busy just get Miriam to walk her around a bit" I explain as I open the shower faucet, ready to step in.

"She hot?" he asks as if he hadn't heard what I just said.

"Oh, the hottest one yet" I say with a mischievous smile on my face. He'll get quite a shock come Monday morning when he sees Miss Rainbow walk in. "Louisa Clark, you can't miss her" I added as I hung up and got in the shower, the hot water covering my skin in seconds.

An hour later I am out the door and waving at Mick the security guard after advising him I'll be gone for a few days.

Just then I realize I haven't told Alicia I'll be leaving and I realize I had better get it over with.

The phone rings several times but no response and I get her voice mail telling me she's too busy enjoying her life to pick her up her cell and to please leave a message and she'll consider giving a call back followed by her laughter. I know she thinks she's so clever for having that voice mail but it's just irritating.

Well, that's what she gets for not answering. I leave her a brief message saying I'll call her when I arrive probably be around midnight in London by the time I arrive in New York.

I catch a cab and ask it to drive me to the airport. I know I am early but there's that little café across from it that makes me feel like I'm in Paris every time I ask for one of their flaky pastries and if I'll be stuck in that plane for 9 hours forced to eat their food I need something to hold my spirits up.

Forty minutes later I am standing across from Heathrow Airport, a smile on my face as I stroll inside the café and order mille-feuille.

As I am about to bite into it my BlackBerry lights up with Alicia's face and I am tempted not to answer.

"Hello" I simply say as I prepare myself to what her reaction will be.

"You're going? Just like that?" she asks and I can hear the pout as she speaks.

"I'm sorry, love. It's critical I am there to close the deal" I explain trying to be kind.

She goes on that way for a few more minutes as I stare at my intact mille-feuille. If I'm going to enjoy it properly, I can't have her screeching in my ear. Suddenly I am extra glad I left with extra time.

After assuring her for the seventh time that I will be back as soon as I can, she finally hangs up.

It's times like this when I ask myself just why I am with her. But then I remember those legs and just how good she is in bed and I tell myself it's worth it.

By the time I arrive in New York I am positively exhausted. It may only be 6:30 p.m. here but my body's clock says 11p.m.

I could go to bed right now but as soon as I take the phone off of airplane mode I see have several messages from Jeff asking if I've arrived and begging me to take a taxi to the address he's sent me ASAP.

I buy an espresso at the airport to wake me and hop on a taxi and chow it down simply for the caffeine. It seems Americans have a very loose the definition of what a proper espresso should taste like.

I make quick stop at the bathroom to refresh my perfume and straighten out my business suit as best as I can. I figure there isn't much I can do for my hair so I leave it alone.

Jeff meets me as soon as I am off the elevator and enlightens me as to where we will be meeting this retiring accounting firm owner. Apparently he is having a dinner at his penthouse and leaves for early vacation tomorrow so I need to close the deal tonight or it may take several weeks otherwise.

Not on my watch.

When we arrive I instantly take in my surroundings. Knowing who you are dealing with can make or break a deal.

Jeff points out to me the older man across the room, two young women standing by his side as he talks across to some other equally elderly men. Possible sellers? I make a mental note to ask indirectly.

By the end of the night I have Bill Morgan signing away his company for a very reasonable price-one that I know will yield me a large profit once I am done with his company. His friends have my card- I had told them I was interested in their intel into anyone they knew who was interested in selling- the oldest trick in the book to get them thinking about selling as well.

By the time I managed to get in my hotel room I was cursing Clarissa in every language I knew how. She was my last assistant who had quit on the bases that I had played with her feelings and led her on. But she was all kinds of crazy anyways. Had I had my assistant with me as it should be I wouldn't have had to prop open my laptop after almost 20 hours without sleep to write down any important details about the night or words that I might have exchanged that I may want to remember tomorrow but might not be able to. I needed to note all the new contacts I had made that night and my impression of all of them and what I thought to be the best approach with each. My brain was so exhausted I was sure I wouldn't remember half of it in the morning. My assistant should have been doing this simultaneously throughout the night for me.

I really wished this Clark came through and really was as fast a learner and as motivated as she promised. It'd be my first time hiring someone with as little experience or extracurricular education.

By the time I had typed up the most important information I blacked out on top of my bed still dressed and didn't wake till half past noon when my body could no longer ignore the ringing of my BlackBerry.

It was Alfred, my boss, checking in to see how the night had played out. He wasn't even mildly surprised to find out I had closed the deal. I had yet to disappoint him. He had taken a risk on a young man years ago to find out he was quite good at buying and selling companies to make a profit and he had climbed up the company ladder rather quickly. I had been talked about as the next junior partner to be promoted but even so I already enjoyed many of the perks of being one for three years now- one of them being having an assistant- a fact that I suspected Rupert envied me for.

After I hung up I realized how my body ached from sleeping in the tight business suit and shed it immediately. I made to call my assistant to book me a flight for later that afternoon when I remembered I didn't have one.

"Bloody Clarissa" I muttered as I ran my hand through my hair contemplating whether I wanted to check my BlackBerry. I wanted to know if I had any important messages or missed calls but I also did not want to see how many times Alicia had tried to contact me. I had forgotten to call her after I landed.

I did the math in my head and realized that even if I managed to fly out this afternoon I would still not make it into work Monday since it would probably be early morning by the time I landed. I'd let Alfred know after I booked my flight even though I'm sure he expects it.

After that I'd have no choice but to call Alicia then.

But not yet.

I relished in the warm water running down my body as I showered and pondered on how easily I had manipulated that old man into selling the company to me for less than my competitors had offered. I mentally patted my back for a bloody well job done.

 **A/N: Hope you all enjoyed a little insight into Will's life and now on to Lou's first day next chapter! Review and follow for more!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read my story so far! I hope you are enjoying it. The last two chapters were to kind of give you a feel of what Will and Lou's lives are like in this AU being that it takes place in London and roughly 2-3 years before the book. Here is the plot moving along.**

 **Chapter 4**

Louisa Clark woke up Monday morning with a mix of emotions. She was excited to be starting her new job and start making the money they needed badly but also it was just dawning on her just what she had gotten herself into.

She realized she knew next to nothing of what she was supposed to be doing as an assistant to whatever it was that Will Traynor did. He bought and sold companies for profit but just what was her job in all of this? Was she supposed to find companies for him to buy or was she more of the kind of assistant who just got him his soy latte in the morning? She hoped it was the latter. She was good at making tea or coffee and fetching people things. She had done that for about close to four years at The Buttered Bun and she knew she could do it well...

Oh, what had she gotten herself into? Oh, well, no matter now. She needed a job and this one paid well and she was going to have to give it her best and figure it out.

She needed a little extra confident boost so she took out her yellow tights and wore them with her navy blue heels with the pink bow. For some reason that combination always made her feel like everything would turn out alright.

She was out the door and getting on the tube with plenty time to spare. As she stood there waiting for her stop she took a look around and pondered on all the people who surrounded her. There were all kinds of people- some on their cellphones, some reading the newspaper or a book and some just staring at the floor and avoiding eye contact. And none of them smiled back at her. She knew London was this big deal and everyone loved it there but she was still trying to figure out the charm. They may not have had so many different things to see and do back home but at least the people were friendlier.

By the time she was stepping off the platform she had to fight the empty feeling at the pit of her stomach and try not to remember how many people had pushed and shoved her. She stood out in this city and it wasn't just her bright clothing.

Soon she was on the elevator on the way to 38th floor. She reminded herself to smile and just how lucky she was to have scored this job.

As soon as the elevator doors opened she saw the same receptionist who had welcomed her last week with an inquisitive eye. She had her hair brushed back into a high ponytail, not a hair out of place and her make-up had a certain glow that she could never get on hers. Her manicured nails typed away at an impressive speed and Louisa was shaken by the prospect that she may be expected to be able to type that fast. She was hardly ever on a computer and certainly could not use all her fingers to type like she did.

She took a deep breath and walked up to her.

"Louisa Clark, it's my first day. I'm Mr. Traynor's new assistant?" she asked as friendly as she could.

The receptionist looked away from the screen for few seconds, never stopping her typing, to take a look at her.

"Really? He hired you?" she asked incredulous.

Lou took a deep breath.

"Yes, he did. Would you be so kind as to…" she began to say but the other girl simply raised a finger at her and picked up the phone.

"Rupert, Louisa Clark is here" she said into the phone and put it down, and resumed her typing without giving Lou another look.

"Lucky girl, you are" she said with a half-smile, eyes on the computer.

"Oh, thank you" Lou replied with an instant smile on her face. That was the first nice thing she had heard all day.

"You get to look at his face all day" she added with a tone that spoke volumes of how Traynor was seen.

"Oh, I have a boyfriend" Lou replied with dismissive but friendly hand gesture but the receptionist said nothing more.

A few seconds later, she saw a man walk towards her, a confused look on his face.

"Louisa Clark?" he asked in disbelief.

"The one and only!" she said smiling and stretching out her gloved hand. She had chosen her butterfly gloves for today to cheer her up.

The man she assumed was Rupert stood staring at her for a few seconds as if deciding something. Eventually he gestured for her to follow him and he showed her around the floor a bit- the break room, the printer room, the meeting room, the empty offices of the senior executives who apparently were rarely in the office and then finally her little desk- a hallway away from the office of Will Traynor. His office looked sophisticated with a view of the city and a myriad of picture frames- not what she had expected.

He had communicated to her that Mr. Traynor was not working from his office today and therefore her day would mostly consist of filing the correct paper work to be properly hired- which turned out to be more than she had thought- and getting her I.D. card and once she was done with that she could come to his desk and he would brief her about some of her responsibilities.

Lou found herself questioning just how much of the English language she actually knew as she read and reread many of the questions and sentences and forms. She knew what most of those words meant but for the life of her could not figure out what they said when put together. Why did people at these big companies have to use such big and complicated words?

She filled them out as best as she could and saw it was almost noon by then. Her head had begun to throb. What a first day… She took out her sandwich from her bag and walked to the break room to get some tea and eat there.

She had thought she remembered where it was but it turned out she walked right past it and ended up doing a full round of the entire floor before she ended up back where it was. If she hadn't been noticed by everyone already she was now.

The moment she stepped in she felt right back in school. There were several young men around her age standing around in a corner who looked at her the moment the explosion of color came into their eyesight but within seconds were back to their enthusiastic conversation. She recognized the receptionist girl laughing with some other girls at one of the tables as they ate nasty looking combinations of what looked like turkey breast and an array of vegetables.

"Hi, I'm Lou" she said enthusiastically as she waved at no one in particular and while a couple of people nodded at her no one outright acknowledged her.

Thankfully there was an unoccupied table closer to the garbage where she was able to sit and swallow her sandwich in some discomfort. She felt everyone's eyes on her even as she kept her eyes on her food.

It wasn't that she wasn't used to getting skeptical looks because of her choice of clothing before but somehow here it felt different.

She was done eating faster than she thought and stood up and walked out after wishing everyone a good lunch.

She took a deep breath, raised her chin up and walked back to her little desk where she found a note with the extension number of a Ken who was to get her I.D. situation squared away.

"Hi, Ken? It's Lou, I mean, you don't know me, I'm new? I need an I.D. Rupert told me you were the man for the job" she explained awkwardly at first then regaining her playful manner.

"The floor below? Thanks" she replied to the gentle voice who had answered.

She felt proud when she knew exactly in what direction to go to find the elevators and not too long afterwards she was walking in a much stuffier area of offices.

She immediately saw a man somewhat in his forties, black-rimmed glasses and mustard stained tie, approach her with a gentle smile on his face.

"Louisa Clark?" he asked stretching out his hand.

"Please, call me Lou" she assured him, a warmth radiating immediately from her with an outtake of breath at finally meeting someone who didn't look bothered by her existence.

A half an hour or so later she had her username and password into the system and they were on their way to a small room painted in gray where her picture was to be taken.

She got in position and tried to feel her braids on her shoulders for any loose hairs and before he said "Smile" she had turned her face sideways and given her most genuine smile to the camera.

The physical I.D. didn't take too long to print out and before she knew it she was strolling back up to her floor with her tag with her picture and her name and a barcode that would allow her access into the building each morning without having to call up.

She had never had such an official badge before and she had to admit it felt pretty good. Not one person in that whole floor could spoil her mood now.

She checked her Minnie Mouse watch on her wrist to see it was past 2 o'clock now but she wasn't sure what to do next. She remembered Rupert had said to find him so she walked in the general direction she remembered his desk to be.

He didn't have his own office but rather a larger cubicle.

As she approached it she thought she may have made a wrong turn as the figure standing there had a different color suit- grey- and had dirty blonde hair. She slowly got closer and noticed the man there must be talking to Rupert as he was looking down towards the chair.

"Rupert?" she called out softly.

The man in the grey suit turned around and she had to catch her breath. She wasn't expecting to see Will Traynor.

"You do know you work for me, not him?" he asked one eyebrow raised as he pursued his lips in a manner that, had she not had a boyfriend, she may have found herself contemplating for a little longer.

"Mr. Traynor! I was under the impression you weren't here today and I didn't recognize you from behind" she said a little embarrassed but still wearing her signature smile.

"I'm a bit jetlagged but I decided to pop in" he said in what she could only describe as a bored tone. That would explain his somewhat messy hair and tired eyes. "Come with me" he instructed her and began walking.

She raised her eyebrows and gave a small smile to Rupert as she turned around and followed Will Traynor through the maze of cubicles.

"I have a function the Friday next" he told her as he walked. "I will need you to be able to fulfill your responsibilities as my assistant fully by then as you will be indispensable to me there. I need you to familiarize yourself with the companies and the owners I will be dealing with there. I will leave those in your desk. I need you to also read through the contracts I've drawn up with the company I acquired Saturday and the week before. In regards to Stockman Inc. we will be dividing the assets and…" he began to explain at lightning speed as Lou felt her heart rate rise as he went on and on about all the things he needed her to get working on ASAP. After what felt like an eternity he finished with "You got all that?" he asked, same eyebrow raised and his lips slightly open in expectancy of her response. Her head was spinning but she wasn't about to let him see how out of her depth she was here.

"Absolutely" she replied with her smile.

"If you don't know something or have a question ask Miriam there two desks to your left and she saw him lift his hand to wave at the older woman for whom his entire demeanor changed and he went from jetlagged and rude to sweet and well mannered.

Seconds later he was in his glass office- door closed and reading away at a green file.

The receptionist was right. She could see him all day there.

Well, if she was going to have to learn all this she had better get to it as soon as possible. She dug into the first one which from the looks of it was prospective purchase and began reading carefully all the details, though she had to admit she found herself double reading more than one sentence.

At one point she got up to use the bathroom and saw that in her focus she hadn't noticed the floor was much emptier and darker.

Matter of fact, it was almost completely empty except for a few persons. Will, however was still in his office.

Two hours later it was already almost completely dark outside but she hadn't been dismissed and she wasn't about to get up and go home just like that. She did have a lot to learn after all.

Eventually he raised himself from his chair- hair more disheveled than before and met eyes with her. He walked and stood at his door

"Clark, what are you still doing here?" he asked dumbfounded.

"Well, I'm your assistant and you're still here so…" she explained, not letting his rough tone change hers.

"You're off at five, Clark" he said with a sigh and added: "Just wait there" and went back grabbing his suitcase and keys. "Come along" he said with a hand gesture and so she grabbed her bag and tried to keep up with his long strides.

She felt not stared at for the first time that day- the people left at the office were too invested in their work to look up at her.

"Have you got your I.D?" he asked as he approached a black device on the wall. I tapped at it where it hung on my chest. "Great, you slide it through like so" he said as he demonstrated "And you're done for the day".

I did as he showed me and the device made little noise and a little light turned green.

"Let's go, I'm on my way out" he said as he pushed the button for the elevator to come up for them.

They stood there waiting as it traveled up to them.

"So you were traveling?" Lou asked to break the silence. "Business or pleasure?" she asked playfully.

"Business" he said with a sideways glance at her. "New York" he added.

"Do you get to travel a lot?" she asked, glad to be having a conversation.

"Lots" he said with some worry. "I forgot to mention you'll be required to come with me when I have to travel" he added not as question but as a statement.

"Oh" Lou replied and straightened up. She hadn't been expecting that.

"I expect it won't be a problem" he added.

"Oh, well…" she said and gulped contemplating how to answer that. The news was quite a shock. She saw the serious look on his features and knew this wasn't up for debate. She'd just have to deal with it when the time came. "Not at all, sir" she assured him.

"You can call me Will" he added a little softer as the beep of the elevator doors sounded and he stepped in.

"You can call me Lou" she reciprocated enthusiastically.

The ride down was eerily quiet and as much as Lou wanted to say something she was afraid he might prefer the silence.

As he turned away from her and towards the car garage she called out to him.

"Good night, Will!"

"Night, Clark" he replied without turning around.

 **A/N: And there goes our Lou's first day of work! Please let me know your thoughts on the chapter and thank you for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi, thank you to everyone who continually supports this story and to any new readers too! Knowing you all enjoy it literally makes my day :)**

 **Chapter 5**

How can I say this in way that makes sense? I want to say I was fully expecting Louisa Clark to dress as wildly colorful as the only other time I had seen her- the interview- yet she still managed to shock me with how many patterns and colors were going on in the little frame that made her up.

To say I had never met someone like her was an understatement.

I had been getting a hilarious verbal lashing from Rupert who had not appreciated my misleading him to think Louisa Clark to be something she most certainly was not.

He had called me that night just with that purpose- a call I welcomed very much as it gave me a moment of relief from Alicia's nonstop blabbering over something I was supposed to do but didn't. Honestly I had checked out of the conversation about five seconds in. However, her shrilling voice was still quite acute and the excuse of Rupert calling allowed me to step out into the balcony and shut her out. I knew when I got back in she would add my constant calls and massages interrupting into the list of things to yell about but I'd deal with that when the time came.

Little did I know he wasn't calling for any pleasant subject, either.

"You are an arse" were the first words to come out when I picked up the telephone. I instantly creased up- my laughter getting lost among the natural city noises audible from my balcony.

"Yes, I know. But do tell why today especially?" I asked still chuckling.

"You told me she'd be hot" he said as serious as could be.

"You didn't think she was?" I asked him enjoying this all too much.

"Sod off" he simply said- obviously upset.

He would never admit it but he liked to think he competed with me for the attentions of the females in the office. It wasn't my fault that it wasn't a competition even when I wasn't playing.

"Oh, come on. She has nice breasts" I added jokingly.

"Oh, really? I couldn't see under all the scarves and I don't know what. And how do you know? Or are you shagging her already?" he asked, trying to get under my skin, but making me laugh instead.

"Shut it or Alicia might hear you and actually believe you" I said. There was silence on the other line. "Oh, come on, you know you would have never agreed to keep an eye on her the first day otherwise" I added. "Look, I just wanted to give you a chance, you know? Thought you two might hit it off".

"You really are an arse" he simply replied. I just laughed again.

"Let it go, Rupert. Is work the only place you know how to meet girls?" I asked. "Tell you what, we'll go to a pub or two tomorrow after work and I'll be your wingman" I offered knowing he'd refuse. It had happened too often that instead of helping him out I ended up getting all the attention, though he'd never admit it.

Once I'd gotten bored of pushing his buttons I ended the call and went to bed, leaving Alicia not speaking to me. I really was completely knackered.

I had slept horribly when I had arrived at my apartment that Monday morning. Alicia had been going all kinds of barmy over my not calling her enough while I was in New York. It somehow always circled back to her jealousy and lack of confidence. It has always baffled me that one of the most beautiful women I know could be so insecure.

And so I realize I may have laid too much at Clark's feet that afternoon. I was going through a checklist of things I needed her to do as soon as possible as we walked back to her area only to take a look at her as she positioned herself in her chair and realize I may as well have been speaking Chinese.

What had I been thinking when I hired this girl? Oh right, Alicia.

Regardless I needed her to catch up and learn quick or I'd be forced to find someone new. She had promised to be quick learner and very motivated so I decided to test her and gave her all the cases I needed her to familiarize herself with. I wasn't expecting to see her still sitting there at 8 o'clock, her eyebrows so close together in concentration as she massaged her temples. She looked to be physically hurting from trying so hard to understand what was in front of her. Her expressive face showed exhaustion mixed with determination and I have to admit I felt some guilt. I had assumed she would have made the math in her head and realized her hours were over at five and picked up and gone home like every other secretary had ever done.

"But you're here, sir" she had said, figuring if I was there she needed to be there.

I was impressed. So maybe she wouldn't be so bad after all.

The next day she was there before I arrived, chewing on a breakfast bar as her eyes roamed over the papers I had given her the day before.

"Morning, Clark" I said as I walked by her and into my office. She lifted her eyes to me- eyebrows shot up halfway up her forehead and a smile too large for this early in the morning- as she waved at me and replied:

"Good morning, Will"

As I busied myself with my work I tried to ignore the forever moving girl across the glass to no avail. Had she been wearing anything like a normal secretary, this wouldn't be a problem but my eyes kept inevitably being drawn towards the bright purple jumper with the dragonfly earnings and necklace with the green stone as they reflected the light coming from the outside.

She was obviously lost as she fidgeted one way or the other as if the position of her elbow had any impact in understanding what was in front of her.

I really wanted to ignore it and let her figure it out or just fire her. But I think for the first time I had hired someone who needed this job for more than their own shallow selfish reasons. Something she had said in her interview...

So I got up from my chair with a sigh and walked over to her.

"Clark, do you have any clue what you're reading?" I asked afraid of the answer.

She looked up at me, an apologetic look on her face and her eyebrows pushing the skin between them together furiously. I looked up at the clock and saw it was 11:30. Not exactly lunch time but it would have to do.

"Come with me" I ordered and began walking. As I got closer to the elevator I heard her small legs trying to catch up with me in her yellow pumps. I didn't have to look back to know every eye on the entire floor was on her and their minds wondering what had possessed me to hire her. Alicia, that's the one.

"Should I bring anything in particular with me?" she asked earnestly.

"No" I answered simply as I waited for the elevator.

The ride down was quiet as we both stood there- she taking peeps at me from the corner of her eye.

"Yes, Clark?" I asked.

"Um… may I ask, where are we going?" she asked timidly.

"Lunch" I answered but she stayed quiet. I was afraid for the girl. She seemed ready to burst a vein in her forehead. If I wanted to her to be of any use I better actually train her some. And I figured a relaxed atmosphere might be better.

I knew just the place.

A few blocks away was my favorite up town sushi place. I knew Alicia loved it. I felt bad for the girl and just this once I thought I'd treat her to something nice. Just to show her I wasn't the worst boss to have. I was afraid I hadn't made a stellar impression so far. And it was my experience that people that were happy to work for you worked better.

I walked in and was immediately greeted by name and shown to a table by the window as was my usual. I took a look at Clark and she looked positively mortified. Poor girl. By the looks of her she'd never been anywhere this posh.

I felt a little bit of pride swell up in my chest at being the one to show her just what the world offered.

"Um, Will?" she asked apologetically again.

"Yes, Clark?" I answered pleasantly.

"Is it all sushi?" she asked, skimming over the menu.

"Don't worry, Clark. I'm paying" I assured her. She hadn't been paid yet, as it was only her second day and if she had been without a job as I suspected she may not be able to afford eating here.

"Thank you, that's very generous" she replied with a nervous laugh.

"Don't worry about it" I replied with my most charming smile but it didn't seem to put her at ease. "Clark, what is it?" I asked a little exasperated. She wasn't reacting how I thought she would.

"It's not that I don't appreciate the gesture…" she said and made a pause as if she was about to tell me something awful. I waited patiently though I could tell my eyebrow was raised questioningly as I leaned forward across the table. "but I don't… really… like… sushi…" she finished painstakingly slow as she fiddled with her fingers.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I was trying to assimilate that information. She looked at me expectantly. I really wanted to answer, I really did, it was just hard to wrap my head around it. Then it hit me.

"Have you tried it?" I asked her. The same thing had happened with Alicia and Thai food. And I mean real Thai food, not the kind you get delivered, but the one you get from the five-star restaurant I conveniently live two streets away from.

"No, but I don't think I'd like it. It just doesn't really look like my sort of food. I'm more of a fish and chips sort of girl" she replied with a nervous chuckle.

This lunch was not having the desired result.

Just then the waiter approached us and asked if we would like to order. My eyes never leaving Clark's, I ordered the 12 kind sampler for her and the usual for me along with Genmaicha Tea and Koshu for both of us, daring her to object with my eyes. There was bound to be one out of the 12 she liked and I would prove to her she should never say no before she's tried something.

I saw her visibly gulp but said nothing.

I was a big advocate for these kind of things. If there was something out there I hadn't tried, I made it a point to do it. I usually found myself pleasantly surprised.

As we waited for the food I tried to help her relax by asking her questions about herself and I found out she had moved to London recently so her sister could attend Uni while her mother cared for her nephew Thomas. I sensed a little discomfort coming from her as she spoke about it but I didn't want to intrude.

Then I saw the giant plate approach and I smiled. I was just about to make Louisa Clark love sushi.

Lunch had been a success. I mulled over it as I drove my bike home, the cold wind hitting my face. There was nothing more relaxing.

She had given me a disgusted look when she had been placed her sampler tray in front of her. I had suggested she try the simplest one first as beginner.

"What's in it?" she had asked but I refused to tell her until she had finished the whole thing. By the third one I saw her eyebrows go up in surprise and a smile erupt on her face.

I smiled along with her in my success. I saw her shoulders relax as she closed her eyes and chewed slowly. There was nothing like seeing someone try something amazing for the first time, except maybe trying it yourself. There was, however, very little I hadn't done yet.

The fourth was back to not liking it but the fifth she liked again. It was at this point I began to probe her about what she felt she understood of her job so far and she opened up quite easily about what she thought she knew and what she was absolutely lost in.

As she finished the platter completely I tried to give her a crash course on what was my job and how she complimented it. Her eyes wide, she listened intently to every word and asked questions- no longer disgusted with the rest of her food but rather seemed to enjoy it.

And by the time we got back to the 38th floor she was actually excited to get back to her files. Now she felt she understood everything better she couldn't wait to put it in practice.

I instructed her also it was her job to keep my calendar and advise me of it every morning as well as arrange appointments around each other so they wouldn't conflict.

And that afternoon, she was strangely immobile, no longer distracting me with all her movements. I looked up twenty minutes after five and saw her immersed in what she was reading but no longer looking distressed.

She must have lost track of time.

I stood up to stretch my legs and walked to her.

"Clark, you can go home" I said to her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Will. I hadn't realized" she said as she garnered her things together clumsily.

Two hours later I found myself walking in my apartment, pleased with my day but honestly dreading all the saved up anger from the last few days that I was sure to be met with.

I really wasn't having it. Alicia had been pretty horrid these past few days and I felt my control of her slipping- my masculinity diminished by the toxicity of all her issues. There was only so much I could let her get away with.

She needed to be put in her place and that's exactly what I intended to do.

But surprisingly, I was met with her sitting on the couch eating one of her gourmet salads, her legs wrapped in a warm blanket as she watched her reality TV.

I let my bag drop loudly on the table to advise her of my presence but she barely acknowledged it.

"How was your day?" she asked, her eyes never leaving the screen.

"Fine" I replied, confused by this aloof manner. "Yours?" I asked cautiously.

She simply shrugged.

It seemed it would be calm night.

It was one of the things I loved about her. She could get angry as fast as she could forget about it. And I wasn't about to complain.

 **A/N: Well, there is another Will POV. The story is going to start moving along faster from here on but it may slow and speed as the plot needs it. Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read this story and continues to do so. I appreciate all of you. This is a new kind of fanfic writing experience for me and its readers mean a lot to me. Thank you!**

 **Chapter 6**

"I just can't make him out… With the exception of the day he took me to lunch he has been quite shut off- not really displeased but not really raving about me either. Well, I haven't been fired yet so maybe that's as good as sign as I'll get?" I asked Treena as I sat by the sink while she bathed Thomas.

"How do you feel about tomorrow then?" she asked me as she scrubbed his hair thoroughly.

"I don't know… I still haven't told Patrick" I confessed.

"What?" she gasped. "Are you serious, Lou? Are you not telling him all together then?"

"Maybe? I don't know… I feel like he'll overreact and see something that isn't there. I mean, this is literally part of my job. He's paying me really well for the over time so I can't complain- it'll really help. But I am getting dressed up and going to an art gallery slash function with a bloke" I added.

"A _really_ good looking one, at that" she teased.

"Treena, you haven't met him. How would you know?" I defended myself glowering at her.

"Darling, if you're nervous to tell Patrick about it then he must be a dream boat" she said exaggeratedly while rinsing Thomas's hair.

"I've got to tell him, haven't I?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"You've waited too long, honestly. Now he'll smell something" Treena said as she picked the toddler out of the shower and wrapped him in a towel.

I couldn't figure out why I hadn't just told him the day I'd found. It was work and I was there to work and I had known for well over a week now. And Treena was right- if Will had been some middle aged balding man I would have mentioned it without a second thought.

It wasn't that I was concerned about Will doing something that would anger Patrick. Anyone who had seen his girlfriend knew he had no need to bother with a petite, average-looking girl like me. Not that I didn't like myself but I knew I wasn't no supermodel material.

She had come on Thursday- my fourth day of work- and walked all over the office getting looks from every male on the floor. She was exactly as beautiful as you'd expect Will Traynor's girlfriend to be.

And he had been nothing but respectful towards me the entire time since I had started working. Well, that is, in the sexual harassment way. Other than that odd lunch, he hadn't even been very charming or kind. Though he hadn't fired me yet as I slowly learned my way around the job so I had to be grateful for that.

That night I called Patrick and barely caught him before he had to go. He had met some guys while he ran the trails who had invited him for a beer he had said. And he had been about to enter the pub.

He hadn't said much when I told him about the function the next day. Thankfully, he had seemed in too much of a rush to get jealous.

The next day Will approached me after lunch.

"What are you planning to wear tonight?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Um… I hadn't decided" I replied uncertain of where this was going.

"How do I say this in a kind way? Do you have anything that's only one color?" he asked.

I had to laugh when I realized what he was concerned about but when I saw he had stayed serious I contained it again.

"I do. I've got a red dress" I stated.

"That'll do. Be ready at 7" he said and with that he turned away from me and went back in his office.

That wasn't exactly a lot of time to get ready but hopefully Treena would be home by then to help.

At least, I didn't have to worry about picking something out to wear.

"Oh my god! You're going on a date with Will Traynor!" Treena exclaimed as I told her I would need her help.

"No, I'm not! Be quiet! Why would you say that?" I asked scandalized.

"Um, you're wearing your red dress and he's picking you up? Oh my god, does Patrick know?" she asked in feigned shock.

"Oh, shut up. Come, I need your help with my hair" I said as I grabbed her and pulled her to my room.

"You're going on a date with Will Traynor" she sang as I pulled her to my room.

"Stop it, Treena. I'm nervous enough as it is" I said shakily. It would be my first time attending anything so posh and I'd be there working on top of it. I just knew I was bound to embarrass myself at some point.

"What are you even going to be doing there?" she asked I sat in front my mirror and ran my hands through my hair.

"Take notes he said of whatever he asks me to. I'll have an iPad with me at all times. I'm not sure. I guess I'll find out tonight" I said nervously as I thought of what awaited me.

Fifteen minutes before seven I found myself finished doing anything I could do to look better. My make-up looked nice and natural- just how I liked it and my red lipstick seemed even enough all around. My hair was wavy and styled how Treena only knew how to do and my dress looked lint free.

My heart was racing at the prospect of tonight and my stomach felt funny. I walked towards our small living room decided to wait for Will there.

Once I took a seat close to the door, I looked over the room and realized dad was sitting across in Granmp's chair.

"Dad! You scared me!" I said with a laugh bringing my hand to my chest.

"I'm sorry, lamb" he said with a gentle smile on his lips, his eyes doing that thing where they almost disappear that everyone says I got from him. "You look beautiful" he said raising his eyebrows.

"Aww, thanks Dad" I said, grateful to hear it. It relieved a little of the nervousness I had.

"I appreciate what you're doing for your old Pa, you know?" he said humbly.

"What do you mean?" I asked though I was pretty sure I knew what he meant.

"Helping out while I find a job" he said and paused. "You know, all these years when times have been hard, which has been often, you've never uttered a word about having to hand over your check even though you deserve to keep what you've earned" he said, his eyes becoming just a little bit glossy and I ran to him and knelt in front of him, taking his hands in mine as he looked down in shame. "I _will_ find work, Lou, I promise" he said lifting his face to look at me.

"I know, Dad" I said caressing his week-old beard. "It's not your fault" I assured him.

"And now look at you, with your fancy job, getting all dressed up to go to some posh art gallery" he said smiling. "I'm so proud of you, sweet pea".

I began to get teary eyed as well at knowing my work was appreciated and I was making my dad proud. I had never been able to amaze or be the object of pride for my family but rather been in the shadow of the star child Treena. And so his words were like a glass of water to a man dying of thirst.

But just then the moment was interrupted by my telephone ringing. Thinking it might have been Will letting me know he was there, I didn't hesitate to go get it though I would have rather treasured that rare moment with my dad a little longer.

I felt a strange emotion when I saw it was Patrick but I answered anyway.

"Hello, Patrick" I said with a smile.

"Hey, Lou" he said. "You'll never believe what I'm about to tell you" he said excitedly.

"What's that?" I asked, nervous he might want to talk for long and I expected Will any second. I shouldn't have but I felt guilty.

"I've enrolled at Pembrokeshire College to become a personal trainer" he said excitedly. Before I could react a felt a ding and looked at my cell to see a message from Will.

 _I'm here. We've gtg._

"Oh, bugger!" I said under my breath. I felt really bad cutting Patrick off when he was so excitedly telling me about a major change he had made in his life without sharing the idea with me first.

"Lou? Did you hear me?" he asked.

"I did, Patrick and I'm sorry but I've really got to go. Will is here for me but I'll…"

"Wait, what?" he interrupted me. "Who the hell is Will and why is he there for you?" he asked getting upset. This was exactly what I had been afraid of.

"I told you yesterday Patrick I said as I stepped out of the door and towards the old elevator at the end of the hall. "I've got to go to a work thing with my boss, weren't you listening?" I asked.

"Oh, so now he's _Will_? And why is he picking you up like it's some bloody date?" he asked his voice raising.

"Look, Patrick I really can't do this right now" I said becoming upset myself that he was choosing this moment to blow his top off. "I'm about to go into the lift and I'll lose you, I'll call you after I get back" I said and clicked on him as I stepped in the elevator. I felt my stomach rise up to my throat and it wasn't the movement of going lower.

I couldn't believe he had made such a life-altering decision on a whim and without talking to me about it first. He didn't need my permission but it would have been nice to have been asked for my opinion and not just being told. I took a deep breath to compose myself. I didn't want Will to know I was upset.

And I'd hung up on him. I couldn't think of another time in the years we'd been together that I'd done that. He would be so angry. As the elevator doors opened and I received signal, my phone started ringing again. He was calling me back. I rejected the call and turned it on silent.

As I looked around for Will I saw my screen light up.

 _You'd better answer me Lou!_ said his message. I put the phone in my clutch as I saw a shiny black car slow down in the street and lightly honk.

I had to stifle a gasp as I stepped in the car. I had been pushing the thought of how handsome Will Traynor was to the back of my head for the past two weeks but it finally made itself be acknowledged.

He was wearing a tux and bowtie and suddenly Treena's words wouldn't leave my head. I knew this was work and yet I felt like I was cheating. It also didn't help that I'd just finished arguing with Patrick and hung up on him.

"You weren't kidding. It really is all one color" he said with a small smile playing in his lips. I was surprised by his sudden playfulness.

"Yes, what did you think?" I asked, my amusement showing in my voice as I clicked my seatbelt.

"I had been beginning to doubt you owned anything that wasn't patterned or multicolor" he said as he put the car in first then second then third and sped away from our apartment building at a shocking speed. I found myself holding on to the door handle by instinct. My delayed response made him look at me and he laughed.

I don't think I had ever heard him laugh before.

"I'm sorry I wasn't quite expecting your car to be so fast" I said trying to mask my voice with calmness.

"Don't worry, I've never had an accident" he said to me as he switched gears again making the car groan with power. I looked around me and realized how pricy this car must be. I had never been in a vehicle so luxurious.

As I slowly relaxed, he filled me in as to who would be there and how to approach who and when and before I knew it we had arrived.

"Just follow my lead" he said as he stepped out of the car giving the keys to the valet.

I had stayed in my seat as I searched my purse for a mint when I heard the door open and saw Will standing over me- his tall body towering over the low car and a smirk gracing his handsome face.

I took his offered hand as I stepped out and looked around me.

I saw other couples going up the steps to the building- not that we were one, of course- and somehow I realized my nicest dress was still not nice enough for this.

Well, I was only an assistant after all.

He offered me his arm and, with a gulp, I took it.

"Now, it is customary for many who have a way to go in this world to go to these kind of affairs with their secretaries as it is as much networking as it is an outing, however it isn't considered civil to say so or act like it. I will simply introduce you to others as Louisa or Miss Clark depending on who it is. You can have your iPad out but use it discretely. You don't have to hide who you are but we just won't call you that. Understood?" he asked meeting my eyes.

I nodded as I felt my stomach twist in knots for so many reasons. I had no idea how to behave with these kinds of people nor what exactly to do as my job and I was at a fancy art thing with a really handsome guy, who's arm I was holding on to, who was not my boyfriend.

This was going to be a long night.

 **A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I originally wanted to do the whole night in one chapter but it felt like this was the right moment to end it.**

 **As always, thank you for reading and let me know what you thought of this chapter (:**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello to everyone reading! It's such a pleasure to write this story for you guys (: And thank you to any readers who review as guests and I can't reply to; your opinions matter to me and I enjoy hearing them. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Chapter 7

I had to admit it. Miss Rainbow was a pleasant surprise tonight. It was quite a shock to see her all in one colour; I could hardly recognize her. To my own bewilderment, she almost looked pretty. Maybe I didn't have to be as worried as I was. I definitely had not been thinking of when I would have to take her places when I decided to hire the girl with the peculiar fashion sense.

At first she had held back and was uncharacteristically quiet for the first part of the night. She looked uneasy at best when I picked her up and I could have sworn I'd seen her on her cell having a none too pleasant conversation as I approached her apartment building. I really hoped her personal problems weren't going to perjure her work tonight.

However, as the night progressed, she unfortunately returned to her chirpy self- smiling from ear to ear and talking just a little too much for my liking. I couldn't help comparing her to Alicia, who always knew when her smile was just sweet enough and when her silence was desired, at least among company. I can't say I was upset with her work though, as she did manage to note everything I asked her to in a discreet manner- not like my last assistant Clarissa who always seemed like she was part of the MI5. She would try to be so inconspicuous that she ended up drawing a remarkable amount of attention to herself as she hid in the shadows or behind a plant typing away into the bright screen of the iPad.

Just thinking about her gave me a headache.

But her ability to keep a low profile was not the pleasant surprise part. As contradictory as it may sound, it was quite the opposite. If anyone was stared at more than her, I didn't see it. You would have thought she had been part of the art show. Maybe it was her red dress or the way she stared intently at the paintings. Perhaps it was that she tried to touch the 3-dimensional exhibits or how she scoffed at the abstract art that a potential client's son had donated to the gallery. It could have been a combination of it all but all I know is that two and a half hours into the night everyone in the room knew who Louisa Clark was.

"I'm sorry, that's art?" she asked a little too loud for my comfort as a few heads turned our way. I was sure my face was crimson by then. She was oblivious of all this, of course.

We were standing in front of a black canvas with rectangles of different sizes in three colors.

"Yes, Clark, that's art. Just because you don't understand it does not mean…" I tried to tell her with a fake smile in my face as I pretended not to notice the eyes on me before she interrupted me.

"Oh, I do understand it" she said, her eyebrows in a defying way across her forehead. "I understand my nephew could have made that" she said scoffing, thinking herself so clever.

I took a deep breath.

"It's Hugo's son's painting, Clark" I said with extra emphasis in her name. I saw her eyes grow as huge as golf balls as she covered her mouth and visibly shrunk in her spot.

"Oh, I'm sorry" she apologized as she looked around looking for the proud father.

"Yes, well…" I said with my brows furrowed to show my disapproval. "It's a little late for that".

"Do you think he heard?" she asked as she got a little too close to my personal space.

"No, I don't think… Clark, just how many champagne glasses have you had?" I asked smelling her breath.

"I'm not drunk, Will!" she whispered-yelled.

"Ok, just remember, we're working" I said trying to remain professional though honestly, I just wanted to laugh at Clark's facial expressions.

However, true to her word, she wasn't drunk as that was the last stupid thing she said that night. I guess all things considered, my worries had been unfounded. I had expected much worse.

To my considerable surprise, all of the potential business sellers that we interacted with actually seemed to like her when she spoke? They were laughing with her but also seemed interested in her serious conversation as well. It was quite a shock to me when I realized that seven minutes into my conversation with Sir Lexington, I had barely gotten more than twenty words in and she had managed to get him talking about the company's future. And he was a tough nut to crack.

I guess she had one of those trusting faces- something about the way her eyes almost disappeared when she smiled seemed to just charm the pants off of everyone.

I had been nervous about tonight. Several times I questioned whether I should just go it alone. In fact, I had been on the verge of calling her to tell her I wouldn't need her after all as I was getting dressed myself. After all, having a dress in one color did not mean it was nice enough for this. For all I knew it might have had some crazy cape or something. I mean, I knew nothing of this girl's upbringing, where she came from and most importantly, where did she get her fashion sense? For all I knew she would not know how to behave around the kind of men and women I associated and did business with. One didn't have to be genius to know she wasn't of the class of my previous assistants. I admit I may have judged her a little too rashly.

But can you blame me? You'd get it, if you'd met Louisa Clark.

However, one dress does not make a woman. We'd have to do something about her wardrobe. I made a mental note to speak to her about it.

Thinking back on the night, as much as I wanted to be upset with her for overpowering the conversations, I really couldn't bring myself to do so. The night had been a success and I have to give merit where merit is due. It seemed I had made the right choice by having her come. I swelled with pride at how well I had managed to train her. I'd like to shove her in Clarissa's face- show her what a decent assistant is like.

So I didn't stop myself from letting her know when she asked me how she had done.

"So how did I do?" she asked, her eyebrows shooting up into the middle of her forehead in a cone-like shape.

We were sitting in my car as I drove her home. The speed of my Aston Martin no longer seemed to bother her as she barely seemed to notice as I surfed through the London traffic.

"Just fine, Clark" I said, my eyes not leaving the road. There was a beetle and a Mini Cooper who seemed to be having a competition to see who could go slower and I really needed to watch them so I could pass them at the earliest opportunity.

"Really? I felt as if maybe I spoke too much?" she asked not masking the worry in her voice.

"You did" I said matter-of-factly. For a second it seemed the beetle was speeding up but it was a false alarm.

"Oh" she simply said, her eyes lowering to her lap. I sighed, almost completely giving up. It seemed I was doomed to go 50 kilometers an hour for the next five lights.

And this girl apparently needed some reassurance. I had decided to elaborate a little more when she spoke again.

"Will, why did you hire me?" she asked. I let another sigh escape my lips. Why did she have to ask that question? I was tempted to lie, I really was. I was about to when I made the mistake of looking at her as we had stopped at a red light. She had those puppy eyes, her eyebrows were fighting to get closer together, if that was even possible, and she was biting on her red lip. Her hair was now pulled back away from her face and the street lights illuminated her cheekbones.

"Alicia suggested it" I simply stated, a few seconds later. "Said you could never steal me from her" I said with a low chuckle. "But really, I hired you because you were different from all my other assistants and none of them had worked out, obviously. I thought it might be a good idea to try something different. Besides, you seemed driven and motivated" I said, my eyes back on the road as I took off again.

"Really?" she asked amused and laughed. "Did she not see these breasts?" she asked showcasing the generous portion of them that were spilling out of her dress.

I couldn't help but laugh at that unexpected answer but not before I took a good look. She had a good point.

"No, I don't think she saw them, no" I said still laughing. "I do believe you were wearing quite a loud neon scarf, if I remember correctly, the day of the interview" I finished.

"So, you were taking a picture!" she said as it dawned on her. "You creep!" she exclaimed as she turned herself around completely, mouth agape but smiling. I really hadn't realized I had pretty much told her I'd been sending Alicia pictures of the interviewees. I had to play it cool. Somehow, until she said it, I hadn't realized just how twisted it was. But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and simply answered jokingly.

"I never said that".

"You're lucky I need this job, you pervert" she said as she loudly threw herself back against the seat. I just laughed going along with the "joke".

Where had the beetle and Mini gone to? I realized I had forgotten about them and I myself was only going about 65 kilometers with no one in front of me. I almost felt ashamed as I shifted upwards twice- the roar of the engine like music to my ears.

I could almost instantly feel Lou tense up beside me and a satisfied smile creeped on my face as I shifted up again.

There was just something so thrilling about speeding through the streets of London at night with a nervous girl sitting beside you in a red dress.

In a few short minutes we were in front of her building.

"Good night, Will" she said as she stepped off the car.

"Night, Clark" I said and watched her walk into the building to make sure she got inside without any mishaps. But just before she stepped inside I yelled out at her: "Clark!" and waved at her to come back.

She walked back to me in her small steps, her heels clacking on the side walk.

"Is that the only dress you've got?" I asked.

"No. Why do you ask?" she answered.

I scratched the back of my neck as I thought of how to rephrase this. She seemed to have missed my true motivation behind the question.

"In just the one colour?" I asked. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"In that case, Will Traynor, then it is the only dress I've got. I'm not exactly rich just yet" she said and I felt a little bit of sarcasm drip from her voice.

"I am paying you" I noted.

"You are, and I'm very grateful, however this is still the only dress I've got that's just the one colour" she replied. "However, not to worry" she said not meeting my eyes "I'll make sure to have another by the next time you need to me to go work with you after hours" she finished with a small nod and turned away from me. Something was up and she wasn't telling me. I told myself it wasn't any of my business but a little voice inside of me made me say something.

"Clark, wait" I said as I turned the ignition off and stepped out of the car.

"Will, it's alright. I know my regular clothes may attract the wrong kind of attention at your business functions" she said without pausing her walk.

I quickly caught up to her short legs and she stopped as I stood between her and the building.

"Clark, am I paying you enough?" I asked remembering her interview when she said she really needed this job. Was she in some sort of trouble?

"Will, this is the best paying job I've had, it's just…" she began but stopped. "it's not your problem, please, don't worry. Just let me know in advance and I'll make sure to have another dress" she said with a fake smile. I had seen enough of her smiles to know when they were genuine or not.

I wanted to leave it alone but something in my chest felt tight and demanded me to do something about it.

I debated what to do next as I observed her worried face. She had seemed so happy just minutes ago. Obviously, something was seriously bothering her.

"Clark, you can tell me" I said reaching for her arm but letting my hand drop before I touched her. I was already getting too personal as it was. I really just needed to get back in my car and stop snooping in her personal life. But my feet seemed to be glued to the concrete.

I continued observing her as she shifted uncomfortably.

She raised her eyebrows and not meeting my eyes explained that she was simply the only one working in her house right now and it was a bit tight, but that was all. Her dad was looking for a job and as soon as he had one they should be fine and told me again not worry and that it wasn't my problem. I saw her arms cross across her chest and her cheeks begin to match her dress as she struggled to remain looking aloof.

There was an uncomfortably long pause but neither one of us moved. Eventually, I found what to say.

"You know, Clark, now that I think about it… your having to buy a new wardrobe for this job is an expense of the company. You shouldn't have to pay for it with your personal check" I said, only realizing what the words were once they were out of my mouth. Why in the world would I say that? There was no way Alfred would agree to let me use my company card for clothes for my secretary. But the words were out there all the same now.

"So what are you saying?" she asked narrowing her eyes at me, the blush disappearing a little.

"Are you free tomorrow?" I asked her before I could stop myself.

"It's my day off" she stated.

"Yes, but are you free?" I reinstated my question, unbeknownst to me why.

"Sure" she said, her shoulders relaxing a bit.

"Great!" I said with a smile. "Meet me at Selfridges- 3'oclock" I added, cursing myself mentally and began walking to my car.

Suddenly, I could walk now but not before I had pretty much offered to purchase her new clothes at my expense.

"Night, Clark" I waved at her politically as I got in my car and drove off.

Then I floored my Aston Martin, just for the hell of it. What the hell had I done?

"Will, are you sure Alfred will be alright with this?" she asked as she held the soft pink Chanel dress in front of me.

"Just try it on" I said shooing her off. I had felt awful knowing I was demanding her to wear what I was used to my other assistants already owning. They had all come from well-to-do families and were working for their own personal fulfillment or just to have more money. They could always run to daddy for more if they needed.

Perhaps that's why I could never respect them. I hated being treated differently because of who my family was while they took full advantage of it. I wanted to stand on my own and make my own way in the world.

I had arrived a few minutes before her, already knowing my fate. This was going to come out of my pocket. I hadn't even bothered to ask Alfred.

I just hoped Alicia didn't check my bank statement. The last thing I needed was her seeing I had spent all this money on my assistant- her favorite person to direct her jealousy at. And that had been pretty tamed since hiring Clark. I hoped to keep it that way.

It didn't bother me to spend it. I wasn't like my father- forever saving every penny and never using it. In my opinion, money was meant to be spent and so I did it freely as long as I had it. I didn't hesitate to purchase something if I wanted it or go somewhere if I wished it. It's my belief that you have one life and it's your responsibility to live it to the fullest.

And that's what I kept telling myself to calm the little voice in the back of my head telling me that something about this was wrong.

Then I saw the curtain to the dressing room open.

"It's a bit short" she said as she pulled the hem of the dress down her thighs. I raised one eyebrow as I examined her complaint and found myself not displeased at all by anything I saw.

"It's perfect, Clark" I said as I stood up to walk around her, examining the future purchase. Who knew she had a body like that under all the colors she always wore? I had to admit myself to be a little taken aback by the sudden realization.

"How? It's hardly professional, Will! I look like a slag!" she argued and I had to laugh.

"That's where you are mistaken, Clark. It will do just fine for Miami" I explained. "We'll be going there in a month's time for an annual benefit I always attend. It's one of the most important networking events of the year. Always manage to snatch at least three new clients every time. And as you can imagine, it will be quite hot. All the girls will be wearing spaghetti straps and even shorter dresses… Even the ones who shouldn't" I added as an afterthought, thinking of last year when Adrianne- my assistant at the time- would have benefitted from wearing something more conservative. It would have definitely flattered her anorexic figure.

"Is there a jacket to go with this?" I heard her ask the shop assistant.

"No" I said to the girl before she could answer and then turned to Clark. "No, Clark. It will ruin the dress. Please, tell her" I said turning back to the girl when I realized Clark was giving me that look that said what do you know?

She just smiled at me in the way I was used to seeing girls smile at me. She then looked at Clark with poorly hidden jealousy and agreed with me.

It always worked.

I shot a proud smile at Clark as she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Only you, Will Traynor, would tell her a girl how to wear a dress" she said obviously amused and I just gave her a knowing smile.

I was quite enjoying this afternoon.

 **A/N: To be continued next chapter from Louisa's perspective. I hope you guys liked it. Let me know what you think! (:**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello! I know I promised a Lou POV chapter next but I felt this was necessary for the plot. I've been feeling a little bit like I'm using Alicia as the bad guy and a plot device and I don't want it to feel that way. Being that we don't know that much about her from the book and movie, this is my own interpretation of the character but I wanted to give you guys a glimpse into why she is the way she is and not just have her look like a convenient plot device. And so this chapter was born. Hope this helps make sense of her character.**

 **As always, thank you so much for all the feedback. It warms my heart to know you guys are enjoying this story (:**

 **Chapter 8**

"Molly said she hasn't seen you by the salon in two weeks, Alicia" I heard my mom's voice from the phone's speaker.

No greeting, no how are you, just down to business. That's Mum.

I sighed, already knowing what kind of phone call I was in for.

"I couldn't make it to my regular appointment, Mum. I wasn't feeling well" I tried explaining truthfully, already knowing it was futile.

"Not feeling well, Alicia? So poor Will has to come home to you 'not feeling well' _and_ with your roots coming out?" she asked, overreacting as usual.

"Mum, do we have to do this right now? I'm on my way to meet my girlfriends for brunch" I said not in the mood for this conversation. "Besides, it's hardly noticeable. My hair is naturally blonde, it's just a few highlights" I said, trying to make her understand it wasn't as urgent as she tried to make it out to be.

"You're going to brunch with your friends but you don't have time to take care of yourself?" she asked.

"I have the appointment later today, Mum" I said trying not to sound as annoyed as I truly was.

There was a silence on the other end. I breathed in relief thinking she might have been satisfied.

I was almost to The Wolseley where Leia, Holly, Maggie and I always met for brunch on Saturdays. We were meeting Sunday this week since Holly had just gotten back from Vanua Levu Friday evening and had been too jetlagged to make it and so of course we all had to change the plans for her.

"Have you been lounging in your pyjamas?" she popped back in after several seconds of silence.

I sighed audibly.

"No, mother, I have not been greeting Will in lingerie and I am not going to start, so stop it!" I said finally bursting.

"Don't be getting sassy with me, Alicia. I'm your mother. I only want what's best for you, honey and you know that's not what I mean. You don't have to be in lingerie, just wear anything that isn't PJ's and trying a little bit! Do you want Will to find another girl? He's a good one, Ali. You need to do everything you can to keep him" she said with urgency but kindly.

She always knew just how to turn it around and make me feel guilty when she was the one who was being unreasonable.

"You know, I do, Mom. And I'm trying my best but…"

"No, you are not. You are not listening to me. You don't work honey, you don't do anything all day. The least you can do is look good for your man after he comes home from seeing good-looking women all day throwing themselves at him! You know he's an extremely good-looking and successful young man, you don't think women are trying to steal him from you?" she asked making me a little uncomfortable with the "extremely good-looking" part. It was a little disturbing hearing your mother speak that way about your boyfriend.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore, Mum. His new secretary isn't pretty, I made sure of it" I said with pride. He was finally shaping up to be the man I wanted.

"That's no consolation, Alicia. It's when you get comfortable that things go belly up. Trust your mother, I have seen it so many times" she said, always seeing the negative side, of course.

"Mum, I'm here and I can see my girlfriends inside already sitting down waiting for me. I've got to go. I'll think about what you've said" I said knowing I had to appease her somehow.

"You always say that, and you never do it" she warned. I really could not keep having this conversation.

"Alright, Mum, bye" I said and hung up before she could say anything else and threw the cellphone inside my Valentino bag with some frustration. Somehow my mother always made me feel like Will was on the verge of leaving me and it was my fault for not trying hard enough.

And I really was trying. It's just sometimes my weaknesses got the best of me and he saw past the perfect façade I was trying to uphold. And it was exhausting to always pretend to be someone else- cheery and playful and cute. Sometimes I just wanted to put my hair in a bun and wear my old Westlife shirt with no make up on.

But apparently, that was a crime and it was going to cost me Will.

I took a deep breath to settle my nerves and walked inside. There was no time for this.

I walked up to the same old man who was always the host in the mornings.

"Do you have a reservation?" he asked. As always he asked the same dumb question. He knew who I was. I was there every Saturday. Did he really not remember or was he just trying to be difficult?

"Yes, as always. My friends are already sitting down at our usual table" I said with feigned politeness. It was the best I could do under the circumstances.

"Name?" he asked. He really was infuriating me today. There was no need for all of this. He knew exactly who I was.

"Alicia Nobles" I said trying to keep my tone in check. This was not the day for this.

"This way, please" he said as he signaled me to follow him.

I finally arrived at our usual table in the center of the restaurant. I absolutely insisted in sitting away from the windows. I hated being stared at by the strangers walking by, trying to get a glimpse into the life of the higher class.

Disgusting.

Holly looked great, I had to admit it. Her tan was gorgeous. She could always tan so beautifully, not like me. I always burnt so fast before I could change a shade of color.

She stood up to hug me as if we hadn't seen each other in months. Really, she'd only been away ten days. She always acted like this after a vacation.

"Hello" I said as I waved to the others, trying to make a point with this that there was no point to such exaggerated gestures.

As I sat down I saw their faces turn grave suddenly and they shifted in their seats in a way that made me feel like this was an intervention.

They looked at each other as if asking who was going to speak first.

"You saw it, Leia. You tell her" Holly said as if putting a burden on her.

Leia looked down as if she really didn't want to say it but I could tell it was fake. She was dying to say whatever it was that was going to shock me so.

She sighed exaggeratedly.

"Alicia" she said and paused. "I have a horrible thing to say" she said with a feigned frown. She was stretching the suspense as long as possible and I could tell she was enjoying it.

I felt the pit of my stomach twist and my cheeks heat up. What could it be?

"So I was at Selfridges yesterday looking at some Saint Laurent over-the-knee boots, which I totally bought, by the way, when I saw _the worst_ thing" she said bringing her hand to her chest as if in pain and closed her eyes.

"What did you see, Leia?" I asked becoming more nervous.

"I can't. I'm sorry. I think you need to ask Will yourself" she finally said as if enduring great anguish.

I felt tears come to my eyes at her implication. Was he cheating? Had I really lost him? Had my mother been right and I had been on the verge of losing him this whole time and it had finally happened? Was it my fault for not trying hard enough?

I tried to breath and not break down in front of everyone. Could this be true?

"Leia, please, tell me. I need to know" I begged her.

She met my eyes and after a few seconds spoke.

"I saw him there, and he was helping a hideous girl try on a necklace. I couldn't believe my eyes, Ali. At first, I thought no way, I had to be confused with someone else. Specially because you are so much prettier than her! But he bought it for her! And it looked like he bought her more things. He was carrying all her bags! And I checked after they left the jewelry department and asked after the necklace he'd bought her and it was over a thousand pounds!" she added scandalized- no longer looking like she was suffering by saying any of this.

I was so close to hyperventilating at this moment but I saw the waitress approach. We all rearranged our faces to look normal and ordered our drinks.

As soon as she was out of earshot, I spoke.

"Did you see them hold hands or kiss or anything like that?" I asked on the verge of tears.

"No, that I didn't see, but his arms were full of bags. He couldn't have kissed her if he'd wanted to. However, he didn't look as if he would have minded" she replied with disgust.

"Ali, you've got to do something about this!" Maggie spoke out. "You can't let him get away with this! All his 'business trips' and now this? What more confirmation do you need?" she asked.

"I told you he had hit on me, that one time" Holly added. "Oh, Ali" she said as she reached out to touch my hand.

I had to swallow the lump in my throat to remain calm but suddenly I felt like the walls were closing in on me and the place was overly crowded.

I took my hand out of Holly's grasp and stood up holding my bag and putting it on my shoulder. I had to get out of here.

"Alicia?" Maggie asked. "Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry. This is too much for me right now. I need to get out of here" I said not meeting their pitiful eyes. I couldn't stand it. If I did, I was afraid I would start sobbing right then and there.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see them looking at each other trying to decide what they should do next.

I decided to put them out of their misery and release them of the obligation of coming with me. They likely wanted to talk some more about how Will was cheating on me and how they always knew it.

"I just need some space right now, if that's ok" I said with as much dignity as I could muster and gave them each a kiss on the cheek. Why I did the last part, I couldn't explain but I was out of the restaurant before they could say anything.

I wanted to call him immediately, demand an explanation but I knew all I would do was cry. I just couldn't even think right now, let alone talk to him.

How could he have hurt me like that? Done that to _me_?

Soon the tears were falling. I couldn't believe my mother had been right. I hadn't been enough. Perhaps I should have… oh, what did it matter? I had lost him! How could I have been so stupid?

Could I forgive him for this? I didn't know. All I could think about was him strolling through Selfridges with his lover as he spent his money on her. What he had never wanted to do with me he was doing for her.

I had never been able to get him to accompany to go shopping, no matter how much I pouted or how good I had been for him the night before. He always said he hated it and if I had any other hobbies he'd be supportive and accompany me but _just not shopping._

But he was happy enough to do it for this girl! What did she have that I didn't? Leia had said she wasn't even pretty!

I couldn't understand it.

I loved Will, why couldn't he love me back?

I felt my phone vibrating in my bag and I took it out. It had better not be Will. I was not about to give him a minute of my day.

It was Rupert instead. Why was he calling?

"Hello?" I said into the phone, trying to hide that I had been crying.

"Hey, Alicia. I've been trying to get ahold of Will. Alfred needs to talk to him now. And he always picks up the phone" he said. Didn't she know it? His blackberry was the only thing that had his attention always and no matter what he was faithful to it. "Is he with you?" he asked after I had provided no answer.

"No, and if you see him tell him…" I said in anger realizing I didn't know what I wanted to tell him. Did I want to tell him to go to hell or did I want to ask him what I did wrong for him to do this to me?

"Alicia, you don't sound well. What's the matter?" he asked concerned. It actually felt somewhat nice to hear that, to have someone actually care. Not like my mother who didn't open her mouth unless it was to tell me what to do or my friends who I realize didn't actually care that I was in pain or stupid Will who never even bothered to ask me if I was well when I obviously wasn't feeling alright.

"No" I said simply, trying to recover my normal voice but only doing the opposite. Actually, admitting how crappy I felt only opened the gates for all the suffering I had been holding inside for so long.

"What's the matter?" he asked again more urgently.

"Your friend's an asshole, that's the matter" I spit out.

"Where are you? I'm outside your building. I came looking for Will but he's not here" he said.

"He's probably out with his whore" I replied.

"Alright… I'm obviously missing something. Do you need to talk to someone?" he asked.

The offer actually sounded really good. I was so wounded and Rupert offering his comfort was too tempting to say no to.

"Yes, I do. Please wait there. I'm almost home" I said and started walking faster.

 **A/N: Please let me know your thoughts! Chapter 9 coming soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hi, we're back to Lou! This chapter takes off from where chapter 7 leaves off when they are at Selfridges. Enjoy! (:**

 **Chapter 9**

How can a person feel guilt and contentment at the same time? How could those two emotions co-exist? Was it right to ignore that nagging sensation at the back of my head if my heart was feeling so elated and my feet just wanted to skip? Just some of the questions that Will Traynor makes me ask myself.

There is something about the way he smiles at you in such a way that tells you that he knows exactly what effect his smile is having on you. And it should repulse me but it doesn't. It just makes me want to smile right back.

His company was intoxicatingly puzzling. I loved Patrick, I really did, but I hadn't seen him in weeks and the memories of why I loved him were becoming faint. And there was something about the way Will was behaving outside of work- almost like a different person.

I knew I was on a high that could never deliver. Strolling with him along Selfridges as he carried my bags, trying to make him laugh with my silly jokes and actually succeeding. Having the women we walked past do a double take and then look at me with jealousy.

I felt like Cinderella at the ball- knowing it had to end soon and it would lead nowhere but helpless to keep myself from relishing in the moment.

I had enjoyed myself last night, surprisingly, once I was able to get past my nervousness. I recall that the champagne might have helped some.

I felt courage rise in me as I spoke to Will's business contacts and realized I was starting to know what they were speaking of and had something relevant to input into the conversation. I also quite enjoyed Will's bewildered look as I spoke with Sir Lexington and got him to talk about what he meant to do once it was time to retire. I thought he might have looked upset at first but showed no more signs of it as the night wore on. I could have imagined it but he even seemed proud of me at moments.

I did notice strange looks from some of the women there but most of the men seemed unconcerned with me. It was almost as if they were jealous but what of I can't imagine. They couldn't have thought I was his date.

Will explained people would know I was his assistant and no more. But he was obviously admired and not only by the young single women.

I saw more than a few whose eyes strayed towards him as he moved across the rooms and also noticed the pushy familiarity with which some of the married woman touched his arm as they spoke with him or laughed exaggeratedly at his clever remarks.

Thinking of it all made ask myself if this was truly how they lived every day. The men spending even their recreational time talking of business while their wives admired other men and their daughters vied for the attention of the promising future elite?

It was somewhat sad. The husbands _had_ to see their attention-starved wives as they flirted with others. Did they not care? Were they themselves being unfaithful in some way and so didn't complain? Did they find fulfillment in spending every second of everyday thinking and talking business?

Were these the kind of events they attended in their free time? Just more work and business?

It all seemed larger than life. The snobby pieces of "art" displayed that everyone seemed in awe of because it was some person's or other's donation to the gallery. Was any of it real?

I realized it when I observed much too loudly, as it was gently pointed out to me by Will, that it was rude to express my lack of admiration for a silly "painting" that barely deserved the name, in my opinion.

And when I didn't wait the appropriate time before accepting another glass of champagne.

And when I walked past the gallery owner and didn't acknowledge him.

It all seemed like a ritual in which everyone followed unspoken rules that you just were expected to know.

Maybe that was why I was being stared at, because I wasn't following them. I had expected that though. I can't say I wanted to be part of them even if my job required me to spend time in their company.

But even though Will played his part right and presumably did everything right, he was different. He had called himself one of the ones "who had quite a way to go in the world". Perhaps he had climbed the social and business ladder on his own? Had he come from humble beginnings and risen himself to the place in which he was?

I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.

I had yet to hear of his family as others often bragged- Rupert being the perfect example. Even in the two short weeks I had been working there I had heard several times how his father was a senior board member in the company. I was sure Rupert had gotten where he was thanks to it.

Then again, I knew next to nothing of Will's personal life. Other than having met his girlfriend, Alicia, and that he and Rupert were friends, there was very little he had divulged.

Even though he has remained completely professional these past two weeks I have worked with him, I have seen a side of him last night and today I hadn't seen before.

I had seen him laugh.

I had seen him check me out.

I had seen him surprised at me.

I had seen him amused by me.

I had seen him be compassionate.

I had seen him be considerate.

I had seen him be generous.

It didn't escape my notice that he had just paid for the Chanel dress and shoes with a personal card instead of his black company card on the other side of his wallet.

When I had realized what he intended to do, I felt an urgency to stop him. It was wrong what he was doing, on so many levels. He should not be spending his personal funds on my wardrobe, regardless of how much richer he was. I was only his secretary of two weeks. And seeing the kind of girl Alicia was based on what I knew of her, he had to be doing this behind her back. I can't imagine she would be fine with this.

But most importantly, I did not want to be his charity case. I didn't want to feel like I owed him for this.

However, something stopped me from pointing out to him that I had realized how he intended to pay for my dress. Will seemed the kind of man who would not take being embarrassed publicly well. He had an ego and that was very clear to me. I could already imagine his eyes as they reprimanded me for arguing with him over what he did with his own money in such a luxurious store and in front of others.

He might be charming but he was still my boss and I needed the job.

I was still debating what to do as we walked towards another department. I didn't know what it was, he had instructed me he knew where he was taking me and I was just to follow along.

I felt odd as we walked. He held all the bags and I none. I had offered to help but he refused without much explanation.

"Clark, what is it?" he asked decidedly. My head snapped up from where I had been staring at the floor as we walked.

"Pardon me?" I asked, surprising myself with the formality of my tone and my words.

"It's never a good sign when you are quiet" he stated.

"I thought you preferred it when I wasn't so chatty" I replied referencing to the times when he had made the observation that I spoke too much.

"And as much as I enjoy the respite from your incessant chatter" he said a little more humorously, "I also know it means something is bothering you" he added.

I was a little taken aback by his insight and his curiosity. I hadn't realized he'd been paying attention.

I couldn't tell him the truth- that I knew he was paying for everything and it bothered me. Or that my head had been spinning since the night before from being in his company. Or that I still had to call Patrick back since I hung up on him last night after he demanded that I didn't go to the art gallery.

I looked up at him to see one eyebrow raised at me as he looked out of the corner of his eye in expectancy of my answer. I was too afraid to lie now I knew he could read me so easily. But I was mortified of saying what had really been on my mind.

So I settled for the safest option.

"Do you remember what you said last night in regards to Alicia being worried that your new secretary would steal you from her?" I started.

"I do. Why? Has it given you an idea?" he asked teasingly.

I had to scoff at his choice of reply.

"You wish!" I said with mock vanity. "It takes a little more than a shopping trip to persuade a girl like me, Will Traynor" I added, flipping my side braid from my shoulder to my back in the way I saw the girls in TV do their hair flips. "Actually, I was wondering that for a girl so careful about the people her man spends his time with that she would be alright with this" I said a little more seriously to denote I was being genuine.

I saw a micro expression cross his face and interrupt his smile but it was gone before I could tell what it was.

"She's not worried about you, remember?" he asked jokingly again but I could tell something was off. I decided to let it go. It was his relationship and it was his right to keep it private.

Just then I saw him turn towards the jewelry department.

I followed as he approached the glass showcase and an older man with a cleanly trimmed beard approached us.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat as I thought of how much he had spent already. My mind screamed for me to protest but my gut said he wouldn't want me to.

"Can we see that one?" he asked him pointing to a simple rose gold thin chain with a pearl pendant. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was one of the simplest of the Annoushka collection we were in front of.

The man carefully unlatched it from where it was securely displayed and delicately brought it up to us laying in his palm. I saw Will examine it with one eyebrow raised and I could imagine he was trying to picture it with the soft pink Chanel dress and shoes in the bag.

"May I see it on her?" he asked the man and to my surprise he placed it in Will's hand. Why would he trust Will with such a valuable piece of jewelry?

Before I could consider this any further Will was signaling me to turn around and lift my braid up which I did. I took a deep breath as I felt his hands come down around my face with the pendant and secure it behind my neck. His fingers only so softly grazed my skin but the action felt more intimate than it should have.

I really needed to calm myself and stop imagining things.

I turned around to see him examine it against my skin and then raise his eyes towards mine.

"Do you like it?" he asked. I turned towards the mirror the salesman was offering and I had to admit, albeit not my style, it had beauty and personality to it that was very classic and endearing.

Also I didn't want him to pick another that would be more costly.

"It's very pretty" I said with all honesty and a small breath escaped my lips.

"We'll take it" he said to the man with sure nod and signaled for me to turn around again.

I closed my eyes as I felt his hand unhook the pendant and remove it from my person.

Oh boy, I was in trouble.

0-0-0-0-0-0

I had put off calling Patrick for way too long. I had told myself I would do it last night after I got back from the art gallery but I had gotten back in a good mood and I didn't want it ruined by the fight we were bound to have.

I didn't want to call him now either, probably less than last night.

But I couldn't let it go any longer.

It was already dark by the time Will dropped me off at the apartment. He had insisted I couldn't take the tube with all the bags.

I felt like such a terrible burden and so guilty knowing he had bought all these clothes for the trip to Miami with his own money. And what was worse, that I knew and I had let him.

And all this while I was in fight with Patrick.

It all felt so wrong, as if my world were burning all around me and I didn't know how to put it all out.

As soon as I stepped in Mum and Treena had been begging to see what things I had been bought. They were speechless when they saw the Chanel dress and matching shoes. They almost cried when they saw the Jimmy Choo bag and just exploded a little more as they saw everything else.

I wanted to be just as excited as them- I had never had such nice things- not even close. But I just couldn't. Not knowing he had paid for them or suspecting he had done it behind his girlfriend's back.

And knowing I'd gone against my own boyfriend's wishes… and how much I'd enjoyed it.

All these thoughts roamed my head as I lay on my small bed, staring at the close ceiling, with the evidence that this afternoon had really happened just beside my bed in beautiful bags that my mum would probably insist in saving.

A deep sigh escaped my throat and I picked up my cell. I needed to do this.

My heart palpitated inside my chest wildly as I heard the ringing of the call going out.

"You know, Lou, I almost didn't answer" is the first thing I heard on the other end. I stayed silent for a few seconds. The guilt was eating me up.

"I'm glad you did" I said softly. At least, he seemed not to be angry anymore.

"What the hell, Lou?" he said in a defeated tone. "Do the years we've been together mean nothing to you?" he asked getting a little louder.

"Of course they mean a lot to me, Patrick! And what do you have to say for yourself? You signed up for college without telling me anything?" I asked remembering I had my own reasons to be upset as well.

"I didn't know I needed permission" he said a little upset. I sighed. That wasn't what I had meant.

"You don't Patrick, but that's a huge step. I would have hoped you would have wanted to discuss it with me" I said slowly, trying to keep the peace.

"You don't get it, Lou. This is what I'm passionate about. I wanted to do it and I did it. I don't see what telling you first has to do with it unless you wanted me to ask for permission. You're out there in London, spending your time with god-knows-who and you're getting upset because I'm finding something to do with my time now you've left me here?" he asked in a demanding tone.

"I'm not spending time with anybody, Patrick!" I said getting offended at his implication, but quickly realizing I had been with Will again today and he didn't even know that part.

"It's been a month I don't see you, Lou! You don't come to see me and I'm expected to just sit around on my arse waiting for you? You should be glad I haven't made a bigger mistake because I could have!" he said loudly.

What was he implying?

"What are you saying Patrick? That I should be thankful you're keeping it in your pants? Are you serious?! I'm here trying to help my family survive! I can't afford to go over there right now! I've been working for only two weeks and my dad hasn't found work. We're barely surviving here and I should be thankful you haven't cheated? Really?" I demanded losing all control now.

How could he hurt me that way? I missed him too, it wasn't like I was staying away on purpose! And I knew how much Patrick needed regular sex which is why I offered to break up as much as it would have hurt me and he was the one who said he could do it!

I felt myself growing more emotional and tears were threatening to spill over. I hated crying with Patrick but I had been holding so much in and the dam had broken.

I felt intense pain. Patrick and I never fought, specially not like this, and if we had to talk about something we did it in person.

Having this conversation over the phone felt so impersonal and I ached to see his face, to discern what he was feeling and not just have to guess.

How were we going to make this work?

He had stayed silent and a sob of mine finally made itself audible.

"Lou?" he asked sounding concerned.

I couldn't answer. I was going to cry-talk and I didn't want to do that.

"Lou, please… That's not what I meant, alright? I didn't mean to make you cry… Lou?" he asked. "Look, I just miss you, that's all. And I thought you'd be happy for me that I'm making a profession out of something I love" he tried explaining softly now.

"How do you know you love it, Patrick? You've been jogging for a month" I said not understanding where all of this had come from.

"I knew I loved you in less than a month" he said.

"You didn't tell me you loved me till six months into the relationship, Patrick" I said not appreciating that he was trying to butter me up now.

"But I knew in a month!" he assured me. I sighed. It didn't matter anymore.

"I am happy for you, Patrick, if this will make you happy" I said not sounding like it all.

"Your dad needs to find a job, though, Lou. I don't like this man you're working for or that he's making you go with him places at night" he said all sweetness gone from his voice now.

"I'm not leaving this job, Patrick. I barely was able to find it and I'm not going to find another that pays like this" I said to make sure he understood he needed to be alright with this. "And dad is trying but life here is hard and expensive and he's older now and doesn't have experience in much" I tried to explain.

"Then you can't be doing those night things with him. Why doesn't he take his wife or something?" he asked.

"Because it's work, Patrick, not recreational" I said. "It's part of the job. I don't have a say in whether I go or not"

I heard him groan. "I don't like this, Lou. I don't like this one bit. What if he tries something on you? Hmm? What then?" he asked.

"He won't. He's been very respectful and he's not that kind of guy" I said though in all reality I wasn't sure. I didn't know Will very well yet. For all I knew I'd be expected to give something extra in return eventually for all the clothes.

The clothes… I hadn't told Patrick… Well, I couldn't now. He'd only get more upset and there was no point in it. I didn't want to fight again. I had no choice in the matter and what he didn't know, wouldn't bother him.

"So tell me, when do you have your first class?" I asked him trying to make him forget about this subject.

It worked like a charm. He was off telling me all about it and how he'd come to do it and how his new friend Lucas who he'd met at the gym (when had he started going?) had talked him into it and soon he had forgotten about Will.

I'd have to tell him about Miami soon, but not tonight.

0-0-0-0-0-0

The next week had come and gone pretty smooth. I had taken to eating lunch with Miriam and often invited Ken from the floor below to join us.

We got some strange looks from some of the others. I figured we might have looked like an odd group. We were an elderly lady, an awkward 40-something year old man, and a colorfully dressed younger girl.

But I found we got along well. Miriam was sweet and often brought enough food to share with us being that Ken usually had a sad sandwich with not much in it or a microwavable box of something or other. I often had something from the night before but I never said no to Miriam's offer of food either.

Ken often stayed quiet and listened to Miriam and I talk of whatever we were thinking of that day. I often worried we were boring him but he always came back the next day and sat with us again. I wondered if Miriam's food was the motivator?

So it surprised me when in a rare quiet moment, he asked how I was getting along.

"Really well, Ken" I said with a warm smile to him. "Thanks for asking"

"It's good he's treating you well" he replied.

"Does he not usually?" I asked concerned.

"Well, his secretaries don't stay for long. I thought he might not be a good boss" he said quietly and took a bite of a boiled potato- curtesy of Miriam.

"Oh" I said a little put off by his comment. But he said nothing more and I didn't push. Ken was a reserved man and I didn't think he'd appreciate being probed if he wasn't offering any more information.

I looked over at Miriam and she said nothing as well, which was odd for her. I felt as if I was missing something…

Just then I heard Will's voice from behind me.

"Clark, I was looking for you… Oh, you've already eaten" he said poking his head inside the lunch room and looking at my empty plate.

"Yes, did you need something?" I asked.

"No, I was just going to pop over to the sushi place and thought you might want some but if you're almost done then you're going to need to clock back in soon" he said all business-like.

"Oh, what a shame" I said honestly disappointed.

"When you're back to your desk, please call Darius and set up a video conference for tomorrow morning, would you? No later than 10 though" he instructed me.

"Of course" I said and saw him disappear from sight as he removed himself from the door. I turned around and saw Ken and Miriam looking at me with the same look from before.

I was definitely missing something…

And something told me I had better find out.

…

 **A/N: Here is the link if you want to know what the necklace that Will buys Lou looks like- just remove the spaces**

 **www . selfridges US/en /cat /annoushka-diamonds- 26-pearls -18ct-rose- gold-pendant _714-10087 -25448/? Preview Attribute=**

 **Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think about this chapter, please, I would love to know! (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hi thank you to all who read the story and to all the guest reviewers who I can't reply to so I can say thanks to. I hope you guys continue to enjoy the story and follow it as I get through my current writer's block.**

 **Chapter 10**

"Jeff, I haven't received the formal invitations to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Gala next month. You know I'm counting on you, mate" I said into the phone as I walked from the parking lot and into the building.

"I'm trying, Will. But you know it isn't easy. These are hard to get. I don't know that I can get you one this year" he said apologetically. Well, apologies weren't getting me in anywhere.

"Jeff, I was counting on you for this!" I say growing upset. This is one of the most important events I attend every year and it is invaluable to the company that I be there. Alfred expects it and that I bring with me results and I have yet to fail him.

"Well, you took my most important contact! Now that Bill Morgan is retired, thanks to you, may I add, he doesn't want to be bothered with any more favors!" he said, his New Yorker accent becoming more predominant as he got more upset.

He had me there, though. Jeff was a friend from Uni who I had kept in contact with. He was from a very reputable family in New York and had been a great help with making contacts and business deals in America. He was working with his father, learning the ropes so one day he could lead their company but he helped me for a commission. I swear, the man had to have dollar signs in his eyes. He did not lose an opportunity to make more money whether he needed more or not. So I knew I could push him enough and he would budge.

"Jeff, Bill Morgan was not your only friend. You know more people and I know you can pull some strings. Remember you make a very impressive sum out of all the purchases and sales that come from this day" I reminded him.

The elevator doors finally opened and I stepped inside on my own. No one was coming down to the car park under the building at this hour and I was early. Not too many people going in yet.

I heard a sigh from the other end of the line.

"You're gonna be the reason I get premature white hair" he finally said and I laughed.

Just then the elevator doors opened again at the first floor and I almost jumped out of my skin when my eyes were met with what had to be the most annoyingly colored paisley skirt I had ever seen with mustard-colored socks and a fuzzy red jumper.

I didn't need to look at her face to know the petite form waving furiously at me as she stepped in was Clark.

I tried to mask my shock with a cough I tied in with the previous laughter.

"You're the man" I said into my Blackberry, remembering Jeff was still on the line.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll email your secretary when and _if_ I get them" he said not won over by my compliment.

"Do you have the new one?" I asked him not sure if I had given it to him.

It was his turn to laugh.

Just then I looked at Clark who was still standing beside me with an obnoxiously large smile on her face. It was Monday morning, for God's sake!

"What's so amusing?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"You have a new one? Already?" he asked obviously enjoying this.

"Yes, Jeffrey" I replied.

"What do ya do? Sleep with them and fire them?" he asked laughing still.

I saw Clark shift beside me and I silently prayed she hadn't heard that.

"I am going to take a wild guess and say you don't have her email address so I will text you it to you now. Good bye, Jeff" I said and hung up on him still laughing.

I put the phone down and away from my ear and began typing the message.

"Morning, Clark" I said without taking my eyes off the phone keyboard.

"Good morning, Will" she said turning her entire body to look at me with her wide grin and eyes hiding under her smiling eyelashes.

The elevator door opened and I allowed her to step off first then walked just before her.

I put my phone inside my jacket pocket and looked around to see a few people were already in the office including Rupert.

Rupert!

I had forgotten to call him back.

My cell battery had died yesterday as I waited for my motorcycle to get serviced and I had not brought the cord to charge it. By the time I had gotten home and got it turned on again to see his missed calls I was not in the mood to call him.

Alicia had been unusually quiet and acting quite odd if I was honest with myself but I couldn't be bothered to care.

The mechanics fixing the accumulator had been fastidiously slow and I just wanted some peace and quiet once I'd finally gotten home.

But as I approached my office this morning I felt eyes on me as I walked behind Clark.

I looked around me to see two of the girls who were there staring in an unkind way towards our direction, almost as if they were disgusted. But as soon as they saw me looking their way they turned towards their computers and tried to look busy.

Alright, I knew Clark's fashion raised some eyebrows but it wasn't so bad as to get a look like that.

I turned my face forward to examine her outfit again for anything offensive I might have missed but ended up getting distracted by the flowy movements of her skirt and the fact that once you saw her bum in that pink dress from Saturday you just couldn't unsee it, even under all that paisley.

"Clark, I need you to get started on something new" I said as she took her seat at her desk. "I'm looking into . They're a fairly new dating website and growing steadily but the CEO has terrible head for business. He's the son of Gerald Horowitz and he's trying to make his own mark in the world outside of his father's shadow, which I respect, but all the ventures he's started have started out well but failed in the long run. He knows this one is going there and he's going to be the main target at Miami. He needs revenue and we're going to offer just that. He can't afford another failure" I explained to her as she looked at me intensely drinking every word.

"Aye, aye, captain!" she said cheerily saluting me with her hand and making me smile.

Before I was sitting down on my office she was already typing away on her computer, no doubt already familiarizing herself with our new project.

I had to admit she was turning out to be a better assistant than I hoped for. I had quite given up on finding someone efficient and who truly felt like they were there to help my job be easier.

It often felt like it was me constantly reminding them of what their duties were instead of them helping me.

But not Louisa Clark. She still had a lot to learn but I felt confident in her progress.

Just then I realized I had been having these thoughts as I stared at her across the glass of my office. Then my eyes moved towards Rupert's who was looking at me but turned away immediately.

Odd.

So I decided to go to him and clear up the misunderstanding of yesterday.

But throughout the whole conversation he barely looked me in the eye. He was acting so strange.

"No problem, mate" he said. "But you might want to go see Alfred" he suggested.

"I already did" I informed him. I may not have been in the mood for talking to Rupert yesterday but I knew if Alfred called it wasn't about what you wanted.

He had simply said he wanted to meet with me today at 10 in his office and we had left it at that.

Between now and then however I had some work to do.

The company I had bought in New York was almost ready to be back on the market. Though it had a steady clientele, it was hugely behind in all things technological. We had got it up to the date on all the software and massively redesigned their very basic website.

These new changes among others had seen an increase in productivity and in new clients as well which had upped the value of it in the stock market and caught the attention of various business men who had already shown interest.

But I had a few more cards to play with and when I was finished with the company it will have increased in value by at least 32%.

And once it was sold 25% of the profit stayed with me and so I was no rush to sell just yet. The more money I could sell it for the more I kept in my pocket.

And so I got working.

A while later, I saw Clark get up from her desk and walk into my office.

"Will, just wanted to remind you of your 10 o'clock. It's ten minutes' till" she said with her sweet smile and sat back down.

So I gathered my things and walked to Alfred's office. He appreciated punctuality which to him meant to be there before, rather than at, the agreed time.

But as I approached it, I could tell he was bothered by something.

I softly knocked on his glass door and saw his eyes meet mine briefly and then he signaled me to come inside.

Something was definitely wrong- this was not the greeting I was used to.

"This will have to be quick" he said as he gestured towards the chair in front of him and so I took a seat.

"As you wish" I replied and waited for him.

He seemed stressed and worried which unsettled me. It was no secret he favored me. If he saw me around the office he would always stop to chat and shook my hand with firmness. Of course, of all his employees I brought in the most revenue for the company so it was no surprise he pampered me but today it was nothing like that.

He was behaving as if he was meeting with Rupert or any other person he didn't particularly care for and it was somewhat unsettling.

It was not as if I needed a pat on the back for doing my job but it was strange for him to act so altered.

"What's the progress on the last company you bought?" he asked to the point. No asking after Alicia or my parents whom he always asked for though I suspected he did not really care.

"It's already up 17.5% in the stock market value and I have more ways for it to go up higher. I already have interested parties but I predict we can hold it a little longer till it's increased by 32%" I informed him proud of myself.

"32?" he asked as he slammed the table. His eyes looked wild and I was taken aback by the response.

"I'm sure we could do more but we might lose the interest we have right now and were it to be too much more expensive to sell we might have a hard time finding a buyer" I explained. "If the company shows it's doing all it can and there is no possibility of the new owner making a profit from it then we might have it on our hands for longer than we want to and the buzz might die down. I've thought long and hard about this and the best possible outcome will be for me sell it in about a month's time".

I saw him exhale deeply and place his face on his hands. Was Alfred in some sort of trouble, I wondered.

"Yes, you're right" he said finally. "You always know just what to do to make the most profit, Will" he said looking at my eyes for the longest he had today. Now he just looked tired and defeated. It was not a look I was used to in Alfred.

"I'm already looking forward. There's a dating site that shows promise but lack of knowledge on the people managing it. I think it can be a good investment. It will be a new challenge for me but I feel confident I can do it" I said trying to offer him some hope for the future. Just what was up with him?

"Will, you're the star of this company" he said. "You know I expect more from you than anyone else".

"I'm aware, sir. Have I not been doing my job to the extent of your expectations?" I asked honestly worried now.

He offered no reply.

I sat there and waited expectantly.

"Do you think you can sell the company you're working on now for at least 37% more, perhaps even 40?" he asked slowly.

"If you ask me to, sir. I will strive for that number. I will have to put some extra thought into it to make sure I am not burying myself under by adding more changes than can be expected for the employees to adapt to before the buzz dies down but I am sure I can figure a way" I assured though I had no idea what I would do.

I had only once managed to sell a company for over 40% of the original value but it was more luck than my doing.

We had bought it incredibly cheap and sold it for more than it was worth but only thanks to the fact that among the company records was incriminating information the buyer wanted gone and so he was willing to lose some money just to acquire the company.

But something was wrong and Alfred was obviously desperate. However, I was never one to shy away from a challenge and I wasn't going to start now.

"I'm counting on you, Will" he added as I stood up to leave. I nodded surely and walked to my office trying to exude the confidence I needed.

0-0-0-0-0-0

It was Friday afternoon and I was feeling the stress get me to me. I had been working on Morgan Accounting all week and I was hitting dead ends.

Any other improvements that would increase company value would take too long to put into practice and that could hurt it more in the long run than it could help.

I ran my hands through my hair which must be horribly dirty by now. I had been doing the motion all day.

"Will?" I heard as I jumped in my chair startled. I did not think anyone was still here. "Are you alright?" I saw Clark ask with worry lines across her forehead.

I shook my head to relieve some of the tension and assured her I was fine though I was sure I was far from looking it.

"Go home, Clark. It's late and it's Friday" I added.

There was a silence for a few seconds as I saw her deliberate what to say next.

"What's the matter?" she asked looking honestly concerned as she hugged the door frame with her body.

"The stakes have been raised" I answered. "Alfred has asked me to sell Morgan Accounting for 37-40% profit".

I could almost see the little wheels in her head turning.

She bit her lower lip as she often did when trying to think really hard and I felt bad for putting this burden on her. This was not part of her job and there was no point in both of us stressing more about it.

"I have an idea!" she said as she suddenly jumped in place with excitement.

I narrowed my eyes at her. I doubted she could have come up with the answer for this in the last 5 seconds when I had been at it all week.

"Come" she urged me as she reached out her hand for me.

"I really need to keep working on this, Clark" I told her mildly.

"We will" she said and I was more confused.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her though I found myself intrigued and already standing up.

"You'll see" she said skipping out of the office motioning for me to follow her.

Skipping, really? Oh dear. Thank god we were the last ones here.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I felt as if my lungs were breathing properly for the first time today.

I looked around us at the other empty tables outside of the small ice cream shop and was thankful for the quiet.

Don't get me wrong. I was all for excitement and loudness and fun but this week had taken a toll on me and it felt as if my brain could explode.

I couldn't remember the last time my head had hurt from something that wasn't skydiving or a hangover.

"I can already tell this is helping you" Clark said with a smile as she put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"I doubt it" I said. "I still have no idea what I'm going to do". Then I noticed her ice cream. "What are you eating, Clark?" I said disgusted.

"It's birthday cake flavor with sprinkles" she replied defensively. "And it is to die for! You don't know what you are missing" she said as she put her ice cream closer to herself as if I was going to steal it. Pfft!

I looked down at my mint with chocolate chips and I was almost curious of what hers was like. Mine was nothing to brag about certainly.

"Let me try it then!" I asked surprising myself.

"No!" she said firmly. "You've offended it!" she added as she almost brought the cup over her shoulder as I tried to reach for it.

"So then you admit it's gross and you don't want me to find out" I teased her.

She looked me up and down and raised one eyebrow at me. I almost had her.

"Get your own" she finally decided.

"No, I will not. It's going to be gross and then that will be £3 down the drain" I told her.

"It is not! … Fine!" she said resigning herself and I barely had a moment to smile smugly at her before I could register her speedy spoon coming right at me and shoving a spoonful of it inside my mouth.

I almost coughed from the shock but then tasted it.

It wasn't half bad even if a little something like what you'd imagine a four-year-old to order.

"Well then?" she asked with an 'I told you so' expression gracing her face.

"It's disgustingly sweet" I said after I had swallowed it and cleaned off the bits that in her violence hadn't quite made it inside my mouth.

"Ha! Right! You just can't admit to being wrong, can you?" she asked. "Good luck with your sad mint with chocolate chip" she said with a teasing laugh.

"You know, I fail to see how this is supposed to help me with my work dilemma" I said, the thought of it never truly leaving my mind.

"Actually, I had an idea as we walked here" she said as she moved around her melting ice cream. "So the problem is the buzz might die down before you can make any more improvements right?" she asked.

"Right" I said.

"So I was thinking, you have a firm full of accountants… what about paternity leave?" she asked as if she had discovered the wheel.

"Clark, I'm trying to make more money, not lose it?" I felt as if I had to remind her obviously. I can't believe I had almost gotten excited when she had said she'd had an idea.

"I know, just stay with me" she said excitedly. So I decided to amuse her by hearing her out. "Any other ideas you've had would take too long but what if you put them into practice and let them increase the company value and once it's up by the 40% you announce to add into the benefits paternity leave for employees who have been with the company for a year or more. That's rare in America and will call a lot of attention towards your company that you are being so forward-thinking and allowing fathers to spend time _with their new bundles of joy_ " she finished with some exaggerated cheesiness for effect then looked at me with her eyes and mouth wide open in excitement. "That in itself may not help in revenue either per say but it will increase employee morale and that _can_ improve their efficiency in the work place" she added after a few seconds without an answer from me.

I narrowed my eyes at her. I was cautious about this idea but it did make some sense. I would need to look more into it and make concrete calculations but Clark may have just saved my arse.

At least having a plan of _some_ sort already gave me some hope and I had to admit myself relieved that I had hired her instead of the others.

So while she was too busy examining my face for a response I stole her cup and took another spoonful before she could scream: "Will!" and try to reach across the table to get it back.

 **A/N: Thank you everybody for reading! And please let me know what you thought about the chapter (: Chapter 11 coming soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello, everyone! Hope you enjoy chapter 11! The plot will start moving a little bit faster now as we have a lot of events to go through and the narrative demands that we get to the events that will affect the overall plot. I may sometimes slow down or speed up depending on the needs of the story and I hope that is ok with you guys and doesn't affect your enjoyment of it. Happy reading!**

 **Chapter 11**

"You're going to have to get me a new ice cream. I hope you know that" I told him once I'd given up on taking it from him. I had struggled across the table but it had been too far so I had stood up to get to him but he also stood up and being much taller than me I ended up looking at his smug smile as I tried to reach up to where his hand held my cup high above me.

But then I'd felt a little out of breath when I realized this game might be somewhat _inappropriate_ to have with your boss. And I recognize I may have gotten a little too close to him as I struggled to get as near to the ice cream as possible.

So I gave up with grace and sat down with my arms across my chest in mock anger as he also sat down to enjoy his prize with an insolent smile on his face.

I gave him my most evil stare as he enjoyed the ice cream in self-satisfaction.

"You're going to regret that" I said to him threateningly.

But I felt my chest a little tight and my cheeks maybe a little hot.

So I looked away from him with a 'hmph' and ignored his pompous grin.

Just then I really looked around me at the busy city and remembered the first time I discovered this place. It was sometime in my first week of work when I had had a particularly rough day.

I had been walking towards the train station closest to the office when, deep in my thoughts, I had forgotten to take a turn and stumbled upon this ice cream shop.

It had been exactly what I needed at the moment.

And so when I saw Will looking so distraught, I knew this had to be the place to take him. If it had cheered me up and helped me take a fresh look on things, then it should do the same for him, right?

I guess it was a lucky supposition to bring him here without knowing if he even liked ice cream.

"Here, you can have mine" he said to me as he accommodated himself in the metal chair- a feat that was proving quite challenging for both of us.

The metal design, I'm sure, was already embedding itself onto my bum.

"No! …I don't want your gross mint with chocolate!" I said glad that he was ignoring the awkward moment from before.

Perhaps it had only been awkward for me?

I saw him contemplate me for a second then give in.

"Alright, you can have it back" he said as he slid it across the table.

"NO!" I said in disgust. "You've gotten your slobber all over it!"

"What!?" I heard him laugh and ask in confusion. "You were the one who put the spoon in my mouth the first time!" he defended himself.

I also realized he was right.

I thought of accepting it but I was sort of enjoying the jest.

"Yes but now you've had more than one spoonful and you've reduced the amount of it considerably therefore cheating me out of some of the ice cream and so now you've got to buy me a new one" I insisted with a smile to make sure it was clear I was teasing.

The look he was giving me made me happy. I saw his eyes shine as he thought of what to say next.

"Alright then" he said as he made to stand up.

"Will, stop! I was just teasing!" I assured him laughing. "The ice cream idea was for you anyway. You can have it" I said as he sat down slowly.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes! I am sure" I added. He was quiet as he ate another spoonful.

"This really is good, Clark. Thank you" he said smiling genuinely.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Will had insisted on driving me home after the ice cream and, as much as I assured him I was fine with taking the tube as always, he had persisted.

I had watched him smirk as he saw me flinch every time he got too close to a car or accelerated unexpectedly- which got me wondering what had persuaded me to accept at all.

Sooner than I thought we were turning on my street and were only a few blocks away when my old iPhone 2G rang.

"Hello, Mum?" I answered.

"Is everything alright, Lou?" she asked.

"Yes, Mum. I'm almost home" I replied.

"Oh. You didn't mention you were doing anything after work and your dad and I were getting worried" she said apologetically. I could tell she didn't want me to feel babied but she couldn't help herself. Ever since we had moved to London she had become more worrisome about Treena and I. She was convinced we were going to get mugged any day.

"Yes, Mum. Will and I got some ice cream after work and he's driving me home now" I included that last bit with the hope she would drop the subject now she knew he might be listening.

"Oh, why don't you ask him to stay for dinner, Lou.? We want to meet him. Unless he's got somewhere else to be, of course" she said.

"Mum, I'm sure he has things to do. You can't expect him… you can't ask someone to dinner five minutes before it" I whispered into the phone hoping Will wasn't paying attention.

Just then I saw him pull beneath the building towards the car park.

"Will, what are you doing?" I asked as I covered the phone's microphone. "You can just drop me off at the front".

"Oh, I thought I heard an invitation for dinner" he said with a smirk.

I stared at him eyes and mouth wide open.

He wasn't actually going to come… right?

"You heard that?" I asked.

"Quite. You can tell your mother I'd be honored" he answered as he pulled into a spot.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd want to come" I tried to explain lest he think I didn't want him to.

"Why not?" he asked.

I thought of what to say but came up with nothing better than: "No reason… Alright mum, we're coming up now" I said into the phone and hung up.

The truth was the idea of Will coming to dinner and meeting my family made me feel somewhat nervous even if I couldn't explain it.

"Great!" he said as he clicked the lock on the car, making it do that sleek sound all posh cars made when getting locked, and he made a gesture as for me to lead the way.

So I began walking as he followed.

…This was so odd.

"It… might kind of crowded in our flat" I tried to warn him.

"That's alright" he assured me but I wasn't convinced.

"You know, it's a lot of us in our apartment and my nephew Thomas will be there. He's just a toddler" I added.

"Who lives with you?" he asked and I realized he didn't really know who composed my family.

At that moment, we had arrived at our squeaky old lift and I had pressed the button to go up.

"It's Mum and Dad. Their names are Josie and Bernard. Also grandad and my sister Treena, and her son, of course, live with us. She's the reason we moved here, actually" I added as an afterthought without really knowing why.

He had looked taken aback at the last bit.

"What?" I asked. "I know it's a lot of us but I warned you... I wasn't kidding" I said as I stepped in the lift.

"No, it isn't that" he said.

"What is it, then?" I asked as I pushed the number five.

"You're not from here?" he asked looking at me a bit oddly.

"No, we only moved here a few weeks ago. That's why Dad and I were both without jobs and why he still hasn't found one" I said with worry.

"Oh… so then where did you pick up your exotic taste in fashion?" he said obviously trying not to sound as skeptical as he really sounded.

I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Excuse me, Mr. Traynor, if my fashion is too _exotic_ for your classy ways but I will have you know I developed it all on my own" I said with a proud grin on my face.

"I'm sure you did" he said. "After all, it is one of a kind" he added as he looked at me from out of the corner of his eye with a small smile.

It must have been the little hop of the elevator as it came to a stop that made my stomach feel queasy in that precise moment.

I just shook my head in mock disapproval as I stepped off and led the way towards the cleanest door of the hall.

It was a brownish yellow when we had rented the flat but Mum had been restless in cleaning it till she had restored it and the rest of the apartment to its original white colour.

I took my keys out and opened the door still smiling and welcomed Will to my humble home.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"So you buy and sell companies, is that right?" my dad asked Will as we were all sitting at the small table. Thankfully, there had been just enough space since Treena was at the library studying.

"Something like that" Will answered politely as he picked up one of the boiled potatoes in his plate with his fork.

He had been very at ease with my family so far, which had come as a surprise to me.

I knew the world he was used to living in and it was so much more luxurious than our small place with low ceilings and squeaky chairs.

Though I knew I didn't need to make excuses for Mum's cooking.

It was superb.

"Lou has surprised us with this new fancy job of hers. I hardly know what she is talking about when she tells us about her day" my dad said with a teasing smile. "Who knew she'd been hiding her brains this whole time?" he added with a chuckle.

Will looked at me a little confused. But of course he wouldn't get the joke. He knew nothing of the genius child in the family.

Dad perceived it and felt he had to explain, of course.

"Katrina, our youngest daughter has always been the academic one" he said with some pride. "She's off studying right now. She goes to Uni here in London".

"And this is her little one, Thomas" Mum added as she gently stroked Thomas's arm. He was sitting there in his high chair chewing on a dinner roll, babbling as if he were part of the conversation.

"Too bad she wasn't bright enough to keep herself from getting up the duff, eh?" Dad said half-joking, half-serious.

No one really knew what to say after that and so I was grateful when Will changed the subject.

"This is delicious Mrs. Clark" he said to Mum.

"Oh, please. Call me Josie" she said with a shy smile. I could tell my mother was beside herself at having a guest for dinner, even more with it being Will.

She almost looked pleasingly embarrassed at being complimented by him.

"So Louisa tells me that you have recently relocated here" Will said.

I realized in that moment, that that was the first time that he called me by my given name and not my surname.

However, somehow it sounded even more formal than his usual 'Clark'. It was so odd to hear him say 'Louisa' like I was some swanky lady he knew and not just his secretary.

"Aye, and it's been rough" my dad answered as he scraped the plate a bit loudly. "I'm still looking for work. It's all computers here in London" he said humbly. "This isn't the place for an old man like me" he finished and paused.

He took a deep breath and let it out.

"But our Lou has been so great" he said with a small smile now. "If it weren't for her, I don't know what we would have done" he added with some sentiment while looking at me.

I have to admit it made me smile to hear him say that.

"Oh, dad…" I couldn't help saying but stopped, not really knowing how to express myself in the moment. So I just smiled at him and hoped my facial expression told him what my words failed to say.

"So thank you for hiring her" he said to Will as he squeezed my outstretched hand.

"It's my pleasure" he responded. "She's invaluable to me" he added after a moment.

I almost had to look at him to make sure those words had come out of his mouth.

I exchanged discreet but pleasantly surprised looks with Mum.

I had yet to hear him approve of my work other than to say it was 'Fine'. And yet he was telling my parents I was invaluable to him?

"Is she?" Mum asked appreciatively.

"Just today she came up with the solution to a problem I had been kicking around my head for days" he explained nonchalantly.

"Hardly" I said to him feeling uncomfortable with the praise. "We don't even know if it's going to work".

"Take the credit, Clark" he answered me gently and then turned back to his food.

To say the shock of hearing this had knocked my socks off would have been an understatement.

I didn't know why but the room felt hot and somehow smaller than it usually was.

I managed to turn back to my own food and continue eating as I tried to process what had just happened.

So I just kept my eyes on my green beans as Will broke the silence again.

"Have you tried applying outside of London?" he asked Dad.

Dad looked at him with curiosity and admitted he hadn't. Transportation would certainly be an issue since we didn't have a car.

"There's a manufacturing plant for diesel engines just outside of the city, in Wellingborough" he explained. "I'm sure they have entry-level jobs and the InterCity trains actually go out there" he added, taking a drink of water afterwards.

"Really?" Dad asked. "I didn't know that…" he said pensively as he contemplated the possibility.

"It might be near an hour of commute but you would avoid the crowds since most people are coming into London to work rather than out" Will commented.

"That's not a problem at all" Dad clarified. "Well, it surely helps to get the inside scoop from a local" he said with smile, content at the prospect of work. "Thank you, Will".

"Not a problem, Mr. Clark" Will replied with a nod.

0-0-0-0-0-0

.

 _2 weeks later_

I rested my head against the glass as I stared out into the countryside. Not that there was much to see. It was almost dark by the time the train had left London and it wouldn't arrive at Pembroke till early morning tomorrow.

This trip had cost me £57 to go and £62 to come back Sunday afternoon. And I had been able to afford it thanks to Dad landing the job in Wellingborough.

He had gone in person the very next Monday and asked for work. Right away they had asked him if he was Bernard Clark and he, of course, had admitted he was, though he was at loss as to how they knew he was coming.

They had taken him to see a fellow named Tom Hammond who had seemed to be expecting him also and quickly interviewed him before saying he had come highly recommended and had been advised by Will Traynor to hire him.

Dad had been taken aback, as he tells us, but had expressed his thanks for being interviewed so promptly before they asked him if he could fill out the paper work and start training the next day.

I had not seen Dad so excited about anything in a very long time.

He and mother had gone out to celebrate that night.

Mum had looked beautiful with her hair down and her old party dress from years ago that still fit her slim frame like a glove.

And now that Dad was up and working, I could spare some of my check to visit Patrick.

He had been excited when I told him I would be coming and almost immediately had said he already had Saturday planned out for us.

I had been shocked to hear he already knew what he wanted us to do but Patrick was hardly ever this enthusiastic or spontaneous so I was excited to see him and know what his surprise was.

The closer I got to West Wales the more I realized how I had missed him.

Our relationship had been suffering from each other's absence and I just knew this weekend would be exactly what we needed for things to get better.

It wasn't much time however. It would be close to 3 am by the time I would arrive.

I was really hoping to catch some sleep on the way there.

I had set my alarm for 12:30 when I would have to switch trains but I was positive I could catch a few hours of shut-eye before and after.

I had told Patrick to come for me around 2:45 in the hopes we could rush to his apartment and sleep some more.

I really hoped he was under no illusions that anything was happening tonight. I needed to be with him too but I knew this trip was going to be too tiring for me to be up for anything.

There'd be time for that on Saturday.

And then I needed to leave in the 3:30 pm train on Sunday at the latest so I could get home and get some sleep before work the next day.

I needed my mind to be sharp come Monday morning.

We were leaving to Miami on Wednesday night and I still had tons to memorize before the trip.

Thankfully, Will had been very understanding of me needing this weekend.

He had a business dinner with Sir Lexington tonight but he assured me he could get by on his own.

He didn't know this, of course, but it was vital I saw Patrick this weekend.

I hadn't told him about having to go to Florida and things had just been so rocky lately that I felt I needed to see him and tell him in person so I could smooth things over.

I was really hoping this weekend turned out to be what we both needed.

.

.

.

 **A/N: Thank you everyone for reading! Next chapter may or may not be Patrick's POV or perhaps it might be partly his and partly Lou's but that is still to be determined. Thank you for your time and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know you what you all think! (:**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Patrick POV here we go! Happy reading!** **Chapter 12**

I could not believe I was breaking my strict nine-hours-and-a-half of sleep regiment.

Was I happy Lou was finally coming to see me? Of course.

I had missed her.

Was I happy I had to pick her up at 3 in the morning? Hardly.

Really, she had put off visiting for this long and then she has to travel in the middle of the night? Couldn't that boss of her let her off one day?

Thankfully, the tube station isn't so far, otherwise I may have had to ask to borrow a car.

But it was close enough to walk and I do admit it would be too late for Lou to walk from there on her own.

Well, why waste a perfectly good opportunity to jog? She had said to be there at 2:45 but I figured if I jogged there I could still make it and sleep a little more. I was getting better and better each day.

Just yesterday I had ran 3 miles in 25 minutes!

I couldn't wait for Lou to see my new body.

Of course, I've only been training for about 2 months but the difference is impressive- I can see it every day.

I could already see the station so I sped up a little bit. It seemed I hadn't been focused enough in my run and I had fallen behind with my timing.

Of course, it didn't help that it was almost 3 in the morning and I had hardly been able to stretch properly.

"Lou!" I called out to her. She was already standing outside with her bag. "You will not believe how fast I got here!" I said out of breath as I hugged her and gave her a kiss.

"Oh, Patrick, you're sweating!" she said.

"I know but… oh, I'm so happy to see you!" I said and kissed her again. It felt good to kiss her again.

"I'm happy to see you too, Patrick!" she said smiling at me.

"C'mon, let's get you home. I have to go back to sleep within the next 45 minutes and I have to shower again, obviously" I informed her. She needed to know my sleep was very important.

I took her suitcase from her with great dexterity and show of strength to show off my newly more toned arms.

I wasn't no Linford Christie yet but my arms weren't something to be ashamed of, either.

"Wow, Patrick!" she said. So she did notice.

"Oh, that's nothing" I said with a laugh. "I've only been working out and running for a few weeks, Lou" I added making sure she could tell I was humble about my abilities.

"Really?" she asked. Great! I was really hoping to get her interested in fitness also. That would be fantastic!

"Oh, yeah. You should see Lucas, my trainer, he's been exercising for 12 years now, Lou, and he has taught me so much! You're going to meet him tomorrow" I said as we walked back. I almost had to run in place- I had so much energy! Had Lou always been this slow and I had just noticed now that I was used to speed or what?

"Tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yes, you won't believe what I've signed us up for!" I said excited to tell her all about our day tomorrow.

"You've signed us for something?" she asked. Man, she really looked tired. No wonder she could barely muster up any excitement. She was almost dragging her feet.

"Yes and I think it's going to be a great experience for us as a couple" I said trying to hype it up.

"Alright, what is it?" she asked.

"It's a small, 2-hour interactive class on healthy eating by Gilbert Wallace!" I said with as much excitement as I felt. "This man is amazing, Lou! He wrote the book on 100 ways to eat turkey and he's going to be teaching about it- just today, mind you- and will supervise us as we prepare one of the meals from his book. All the ingredients are included. It's going to be so great, Lou!"

"Oh, wow… That is very… unexpected, Patrick" she said.

"I know it's hard to be excited about anything right now, Lou. But trust me, you're going to love it"

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

As soon as we got back to my apartment, I raced in the shower and bathed, to let Lou get settled in.

I was slowly feeling the tiredness sink in and my body was telling me I needed to go to bed quickly. It's amazing how attuned you become to the signals of your body once you start paying attention and you learn what they mean.

I can't believe I have lived this way my entire life and only just now it occurred to me that I need to take care of my body. I know I have to get Lou to become aware of just how much she is harming herself every day she goes without exercise or eating healthy.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to introduce her to my favorite place to eat now that I'm more conscious of what I put inside my body.

I never knew healthy could taste so good and once she tries it, I know she is going to love it, too.

I got out of the shower and made sure to come out with a towel wrapped around my waist. My abs weren't anything to brag about just yet but she hadn't seen me in two months and if I was noticing, I knew she would.

"Hey, Lou, the shower is empty if you want to jump inside real quick. I've got to get back to sleep right away though so I hope you don't mind if I don't wait for you" I said as I came out to find her flopped on the bed and asleep.

"Huh?" she jumped up and looked at me through her hair that was sprawled all over her face.

"I'm done with the shower, Lou" I said not feeling like saying all of that again.

I scratched my abdomen seeing if that would draw attention to it. That might wake her up.

Or maybe not.

"Lou!" I said louder now.

"Right! Right… I'm up, I'm up" she said as she fumbled out of bed, grabbed a small bag out of her suitcase and wobbled into the washroom, and right past me without even a glance at me.

She was just too tired.

She'd notice soon enough tomorrow.

For now, I had to get some shut-eye right away if I wanted to be rested enough in the morning. Just because my sleep had been interrupted, didn't mean I was about to let my entire routine go down the loo.

I was waking at up at 5 o'clock like I had for the past few weeks and jogging.

I had learned only losers make excuses.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I was back in the apartment and showering again by 6:30. Lou was still asleep but I left her be.

She'd be awake soon enough when she heard the juice-maker.

This morning was kale, bok choy and acai juice infusion to continue my 11-day cleanse. I was on day 9 and I had been feeling fantastic.

"Patrick, shut it!" I heard her muffle from under the covers.

Well, she was up.

"I'm sorry, babe. I have to make my morning juice!" I hollered back to her.

I wasn't trying to be bothersome to her but I really couldn't put my life on pause.

It was really important not to do this wrong or it might be all for nothing.

And she hadn't exactly given me a lot of notice before coming. I had already started the cleanse- there was no going back.

I heard her groan but stay in bed.

"Lou, you might want to start getting up all the same. If you want to make the most out of our day, that is" I said, yelling to be heard over the juice maker.

I stopped the juice maker to grab some more kale when I heard the mattress strings groan as she got up.

I knew she had enough time since cleaning the juice maker took me a while but I rather she wait for me than I wait for her.

I had a packed day today and I couldn't be detained.

"Patrick, I was thinking we could go to my old job for breakfast? I'd like to see Frank and say 'hi'. I do miss his muffins!" she said from what sounded like the washroom.

Oh, that would not do.

I hated to tell her 'no' but I simply could not do it- not anymore.

"What for? You know, all he has is carbs and sugars and fats in his foods, Lou. Don't you want something more wholesome? You'll be falling asleep at the lecture if you eat so many bad things" I said trying to persuade her without saying outright 'no'.

"It's just one day, Patrick. I'm sure we'll be alright" she argued. Oh, she had so much to learn.

"Do you know what those things can do to you, Lou? Even just one day, as you say?" I tried to make her think as I took the juice-maker apart to wash it.

"Oh, please, Patrick. I'm here visiting, can't you put off your diet just one day?" she asked.

"How can you ask me that, Lou? And it's not a diet I'm doing, it's a life style. Don't you get it?" I asked her, shocked that she was willing to make me do this.

I felt her come up behind me as I washed away the vegetable skins from the juicer in the sink. She put her arms around me and pressed her cheek against my back.

"I don't want to fight, Patrick. Not today" she said softly.

It hurt me to take such a strict stance but I have worked so hard to get where I am. And I have so far to go!

I simply couldn't.

I turned around and returned her embrace, resting my jaw softly on her head.

"I've been wanting to take you somewhere, though…" I said matching her soft tone.

I heard her sigh.

"Where?" she asked.

Great! She was giving in.

"This great place, Lou, called The Green Kettle Café. You've got to try it! You're going to love it. I'm so glad I discovered it" I said hyping it up.

"That café by the old school?" she asked looking up at me in confusion.

I was afraid she would be skeptical of it.

"Yes, but it's really good, Lou. You've got to give it a try" I said not giving up. "You've only got to try it once. That's how sure I am that you are going to love it" I added.

"Are you sure…? It always smelled really bad when I walked by it" she said cringing her nose.

"Don't let the smell fool you. It is _really_ good" I assured her.

I could see her resolve breaking.

"Alright, Patrick" she agreed with a small smile.

"Brilliant! You won't regret it, Lou!" I told her and gave her a kiss for emphasis.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

So The Green Kettle hadn't won her over… but I'm sure she would have liked it if she had chosen the menu item I suggested.

I had walked her to the café she used to work at while I went to the gymnasium for an hour as I usually did at some point during the day.

She really wanted to see Frank again, apparently.

But man, this day was _not_ going as planned.

She was resisting all my attempts to educate her about her unhealthy lifestyle.

But if anyone could convince her, it would be Gilbert Wallace.

He was also a life coach and so he knew how to make others understand.

I wished I'd be able to be like that one day. Perhaps I could be a life coach _and_ a personal trainer.

Once I arrived at the gymnasium, I stretched properly this time and worked out my legs. It was so exhilarating to break my record on the stairs!

I had been sweating balls by the time I was done but it was so worth it. I could feel my legs getting stronger every day. I felt a little faint afterwards and realized I had not drank my first liter of water today.

I was already slipping.

I went by to get Lou and it was hell to rip her away from the place.

She had been eating a slice of cake when I got there.

I was almost upset but then I realized I needed to be more understanding. She wasn't at the place I was. She might never be.

But, for her own good, I would try my best.

I had been thinking of taking her home for some much needed love-making but I knew it was moot point now.

She was surely going to crash from the sugar rush before we even made it home.

That was alright.

There was still tonight.

0-0-0-0-0

Lou had been getting increasingly unpleasant as the day wore on- no doubt from all the toxins in her body.

I didn't ask but I was sure that slice of cake had not been the only purchase at the café.

She was really unappreciative of the lecture and even nodded off several times to my shame. Thankfully, Gilbert never noticed.

And she didn't look too impressed when she met Lucas, either.

After we had prepared our dish in silence, we began walking to the cinema.

As I stared at the sidewalk, I remembered something I had meant to speak to her about.

"So have you given in your notice yet?" I asked her.

"My notice for what?" she asked in confusion.

"That you're going to quit your job, of course" I clarified.

"No, I'm not going to" she replied.

"But your dad is working now" I reminded her. "And is making enough for your family so why would you stay working at that place?" I asked as the one confused now.

"I like it there, Patrick" she said.

"What? What could you possibly like about it? Do you like being over worked and made to go places with your boss and being surrounded by snooty people?" I asked her.

"I'm not overworked. I do work extra hours sometimes but it's not anything I can't handle and it's not every week. I don't _particularly_ love going to work functions with my boss but it isn't so bad. And not everyone there is snooty- I have friends there. And it feels nice to keep a little of my money for myself for once, you know? Thanks to that I was able to come see you, remember?" she said with an apologetic smile and pushing those eyebrows of hers together.

"Then look for another job" I told her, not convinced that job was best for her.

"Why?" she asked.

" _Why_? Lou, how do you think it feels to know you're out and about spending your nights with some bloke all over London while I'm here patiently waiting for you to spare some time for me?" I asked getting a little upset, with good reason.

"It isn't like that, Patrick, and you know it. And I actually really like this job. I'm quite good at it! I don't want to leave it" she said with a tone that sounded too close to whining. I wasn't used to Lou resisting everything I said.

What was London doing to her?

"Lou, do you have to go against me on everything?!" I exploded, all the frustration finally taking over me. "You're being really unsupportive of me. You've wanted to do nothing of what I planned for us. You _could_ have tried to enjoy The Green Kettle or the lecture that I had to beg to get you a ticket for and now you refuse to let go of this job that you know I don't like you having?!"

"I'm sorry, Patrick… It just isn't what I had had in mind when I thought of how we'd spend our day together" she said looking down. "But I can't leave this job just because you can't trust me" she said more rebelliously.

"Do you have another guy there?" I asked her. Why else would she be so determined not to leave?

"No! How can you even ask me that?" she said tearing up.

Great… she was going to cry now and in the middle of the street.

"You know what? I'm not in the mood for a film anymore" I said and walked us back to the apartment in silence.

We were quiet the rest of the night but when I began kissing her when we were in bed, she didn't refuse me.

Angry or not, I couldn't hold it anymore.

When I realized she wasn't even trying to act like she was enjoying it, I let myself go.

I had been trying to please her but obviously only one of us was going to be satisfied at the end of it. And so what was the point of me even trying?

I cleaned myself in the washroom afterwards and she had her back to me when I got back in bed.

The next day I insisted we go to her stupid café just to show her how much I loved her and literally all I was able to eat from there was a side of fruit. I didn't trust that man to make the eggs with olive oil instead of marinade and he didn't sell them boiled.

She didn't even seem appreciative that I was doing this for her.

Something was wrong with Lou. I didn't know what it was but I was getting tired of it.

When we returned to the apartment, I helped her pack and took her to the station.

She left on the 1 o'clock- something about needing to get back early.

I kissed her passionately on the platform to let her know I loved her even if we were upset with each other… and then she was gone.

0-0-0-0-0

 _Lou POV_

I look out the window of the train and wish it were dark and rainy. It's really inconvenient to feel so terrible when it looks so pretty outside.

The countryside I had been looking forward to admiring was flashing by as I ached to feel the awe it should have inspired.

I didn't even know what to think of this past two days or of this new Patrick.

Yes, new Patrick. I didn't think being apart would change him. Or maybe I changed too. Maybe I realized there is more I want out of life or maybe I just want to do one thing for myself.

Is that wrong?

Have I been living for others so long that I have lost my right to do anything for me anymore?

Am I being selfish?

The health thing I could live with. I was happy for him if it made him happy.

But that wasn't what bothered me.

Was it unfair that I expected something different out of the barely day and a half we were going to get together? Did it have to revolve around nasty food and his exercise and his new life style?

Could it have possibly been just a bit more about us, just for that day?

Maybe it just had been too long without seeing each other and we had lost that easiness we had when we were together.

Perhaps I just needed some time to see things clearly…

I did have 8 hours of it ahead of me, at least.

 **A/N:**

 _ ***just wanted to clarify in case anyone feels Patrick was a little more obsessive than in canon, I did so on purpose. I think having Lou when he begins to change his life style helps him stay balanced but being on his own and not having his girlfriend around would drive him to take it all more seriously as I have seen many often do.**_

 **And that's probably the last time I do a Patrick POV, I certainly am not happy with how it came out but I hope you guys didn't hate it too much :/ well, even if you didn't enjoy it, let me know. I always want to know what feedback you guys may have for me.**

 **Will POV next chapter (:**

 **I wish you all well until then!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hi, everyone! Thank you for all your continued support and I hope to continue to earn it. I am putting so much love into this story and it's so rewarding that the story receives it back (:**

 **Chapter 13**

"So, what's the plan?" Alfred asks me as I sit across from him. I pass him the file I've worked on with Lou this morning outlining all the changes we plan to implement over the next few months to Morgan Accounting.

"See for yourself" I tell him as he takes it from me with some reserve.

I have never seen Alfred so skeptical about my abilities and it unnerves somewhat. I don't know why it's so important to him that we make so much profit out of this company. He is always so clever about this things- taking risks where they are worth taking but not just for the sake of it. Prolonging our ownership of this company for extra money where we may end up losing it is out of character for him.

I watch him scan my proposal and he frowns.

He isn't pleased.

I feel myself becoming uneasy like I so rarely do in my job. The business plan we have prepared isn't flawless and quite risky but it's the best chance we've got. Lou and I have contemplated every possibility and scenario and this is the best chance we have.

He drops the papers carelessly on top of the desk and sighs as he runs his hands over his face then rests his elbows on the desk.

I can't decide if he is disappointed or merely exhausted.

"I expected better from you" he says looking at me straight on. This stings me but angers me more. I am his best employee. I bring in more revenue than any other by far. I work harder than anybody and even in my free time I dedicate myself to this company- even letting it affect my personal relationships… and he expects better?

I keep my composure with a silent deep breath.

I am a professional above all.

"That is the best we can do under the circumstances, Alfred. You _must_ see that" I tell him firmly.

He says nothing as he picks up last paper again only to give it a quick glance and set it back down.

"Get working on this. And keep thinking of ways to raise the market value of Morgan Accounting. Forget about advertising in Miami. Buy something else- find me a jewel, Will" he says leaning forward over the desk- his eyes betraying his anxiety.

"You want me to work on one more company?" I ask him even though his meaning is clear. But I must have misheard.

"I do. Come back with another investment from Miami and make it a good one" he emphasizes.

I take a few seconds to analyze my words before I say them.

"Alfred, this is risky" I remind him. I don't want to seem like I can't take orders but I have to warn him this is out of my comfort zone. And those are thoughts I didn't think I would ever have.

"You've got that wonderful assistant… put her to work, then" he tells me and hands me back the closed file as he leans back in his chair again.

That is my cue.

I stand up and close the button of my suit jacket. I give him a respectful nod and with that I turn around and push open the glass door and step out of his office.

I check my face for composure. No need for the rest of the office to know my business.

"Will" I hear my name called out as I am walking back. This is so not the right time.

I turn around and see Rupert approach me. I push harder the worrisome thoughts from my head and try to appear put together.

"Andrew talk to you yet?" he asks me. I shake my head lightly. "Switzerland. Skiing. Three weeks from now" he tells me excitedly.

I know he expects me to react with equal excitement but right now I just can't muster it.

"Not that I'd ever question a skiing trip but what's the occasion?" I ask trying to hide how it's not really as good news as he thinks it will be. I don't need to be away from work right now. Quite the opposite- I need to give it all I have.

"Does there need to be one?" he asks right back enthusiastically.

"Of course not" I say back in a less serious tone.

"Alright, then. We're counting you in!" he says and pats my shoulder as he continues to walk. This is so the wrong time for this. I am going to be splitting myself into two pretty soon with so much to do.

Then again, it might be just the thing I need. I don't remember the last time I had felt this overwhelmed by this job. Anything that came my way, I could handle it. But the stakes have been raised. Perhaps some time away may be just the thing to help me get my mojo back and help me think outside the box.

I begin walking back to office with a confident pace. I can't betray how unsettling this meeting was.

But seeing Clark sitting there at her desk, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she eats the screen in front of her with her eyes, make me realize how lucky I am to have an assistant worth her salt.

As she feels me approach, she looks away from the computer with excitement written in her features. Her smile is wide and infectious and her expressive eyebrows shoot up in her forehead. She is practically jumping on her chair.

"So…? Did he love it?" she asks me with emphasis on the 'love'.

"Not exactly" I say simply, not wanting to crush her excitement.

"What?" she says, her face having morphed into disappointed shock and her shoulders slumping forward. "But it was so good! I dare anyone in this office to have come up with something better!" she adds.

I can't help a small laugh escaping my lips.

"It was very good, Clark" I assure her. "I feel there may be something else going on that we are not privy to. But nonetheless, we have to do our job. He has given us the green light to go forward with the plan but wants to invest in another company in two weeks' time when we are in Florida".

"What? Another? So soon? On top of the dating website?" she asks me confusion. It still caught me by surprise how she seemed like she had been working here forever when in reality it hadn't even been two months yet.

Usually around this time my assistants had just learned how to put a call on hold…

"That's what he wants. So we need to look into any other possibilities" I reply putting my hands in my trouser pockets.

"I'll get on it right away" she says with her ever positive smile.

"Oh, and set up a video conference with the other shareholders of Morgan Accounting for first thing tomorrow morning. I want to update the them on the new changes" I add.

"Done and done" she replies immediately.

Just feeling like I have support in this and that I am not pulling all this weight by myself is already helping. It was a feeling I wasn't used to. I realize I should have stopped hiring my secretaries based on their looks and fancy Golden Triangle degrees a long time ago.

"…Thank you" I catch myself saying and before I realize it, the words are out.

She looks at me somewhat surprised but soon smiles and simply says: "You're welcome" and with that, turns back to her computer- to get working on the new tasks no doubt.

As soon as I am sitting down, my brain shifts into overdrive.

Thankfully, I have learned to ignore the brightness of Lou's clothes even as she sits directly in front of me with only a glass wall to separate us.

I needed 100% of my thinking capabilities for this.

Alfred was pushing for more and more and I needed to do this right if I didn't want to fail.

I turn my chair around to look out the glass and over the city. It has always helped me to think.

We might need to stay longer in Miami than originally thought… there was no way around it. If I'm aiming to buy Imprint . com plus something else, then I will need to juggle all the meetings around each other and our business won't be done so quickly.

I'd need to advise Lou of this. And I'd ask Alfred for the company jet. He couldn't say no. He was asking much of me already and he knew it.

It was the least he could do.

0-0-0-0-0

It was becoming the norm that I be the last one to leave the office. Often times I'd be kicked out by the cleaning crew who needed everyone out so they could get started.

And I _was_ used to working late- that was nothing new. But it being everyday… that was.

However, I had faith this would only be temporary. Whatever reasons Alfred had for what he was asking, I was sure I could fix it by doing what I always did- beating the odds and delivering when no one else thought I could.

I had thought Alicia would be less supportive but she had been complacent as of late. She'd been very understanding of my late hours and long phone calls on the weekend- even of the less active sex life.

I wish I could claim to be the super man I wanted to be but I wasn't and the last two weeks since Alfred had officially asked me to purchase another company this weekend had stolen all my time and energy.

And Alicia had been great about it. She hadn't complained once. And far be it from her to cook but she always had something from one of the places I liked ready and warm for me, which was a nice change of pace than arriving at the flat only to have to leave it again in search of food.

The change was so extreme; it was actually unsettling. I was constantly in expectation of the real reason she was altering her behavior but it never came.

I was onto her though. It was coming- I knew it.

There must be something or other she wanted that she was pampering me for.

But I didn't have the time to figure it out at the moment. I'd deal with it when she decided to ask for it.

Lou and I were leaving in two days' time and there was still much to be done.

Of course, it hadn't helped that she had asked to leave early last Friday. Something about having to visit her boyfriend back home.

I won't lie. It shocked me. Not that she had a boyfriend- that was completely in the realm of possibilities. But the fact that he was a longtime boyfriend from wherever she came from and that they had both agreed it was a good idea to have a long-distance relationship.

Those never worked. I should know. I'd been there with one of my college girlfriends who had gotten a job in Dublin after graduation. We barely made it past the first month. Then again, no one would have called us a long time relationship regardless.

"Will?" I heard Lou's voice interrupt my thoughts, coming from the door.

"Yes, Clark?" I ask her lifting my face away from the list of the top 3 companies we had decided were the best candidates to aim for in Miami.

"You've just received a very posh looking envelope" she says with a dance of her eyebrows.

She turns it over in her hand and then walks towards me to hand it over.

I look at it with curiosity. I wasn't expecting anything like this. The invitations to the gala had arrived last week already. Thankfully, Jeff had come through.

"Thank you, Clark" I say and she takes the clue to leave. Once she is back in her desk, I decide to open it.

It feels heavy in my hands. The paper is thick and lined in gold. There is even a red wax seal with a coat of arms insignia on it.

On closer examination, I realize it's familiar. I had seen hanging over my uncle's office when Clara and I used to sneak in there, back before she became too 'old to play silly games'.

Which was quite a shock to hear at the time being that I'm three years her senior…

I had a feeling I knew what this was now.

The lavish wedding invitation inside confirms my suspicions. I had forgotten I had received the save-the-date for this six months prior.

The delicate font cordially invites its subject and a plus one to the union of Clara Dashwood and Eduard Wright in three months' time.

At least Alicia would enjoy this. I check the 'will attend' card, write Alicia's full name on it, and seal it in the provided envelope and hand it back to Lou to put in the mail.

"Wedding invitation" I say once I see the livid curiosity in her eyes.

"Oh, how lovely!" she responds in awe. What was it with girls and weddings?

"Yes, quite. And don't forget to bring your luggage in tomorrow. We'll depart after lunch. I want to arrive with plenty of time to catch up on our sleep when we get there. We need to look sharp and refreshed come the weekend" I add as an afterthought.

"I remember" she replies with less excitement and I can't hide that I find it a bit odd. She had seemed to be looking forward to the trip before but not since she got back from visiting her boyfriend.

Perhaps he hadn't wanted her to go.

If that was the case I was sorry for her to have to stay even longer now but there was nothing I could do. I absolutely needed her on this trip.

"Great" I said with a tap of my finger on her desk and return to my own office to continue studying the three options we had come up with. It wasn't a sure thing they would even want to sell, though the chances of them having already considered the possibility was higher than most.

Two of them were helmed by men whose health demanded they retire soon- if rumors were to be believed- and the other was stepping on thin ice at the moment. That was the riskiest of the three but a good candidate, nonetheless. It would be easy to convince the board that their best chance was to sell before they lost more value and credibility. But that also meant I had more risk of not being able to pull it out of the quicksand it was in.

It was a pharmaceutical company that had pushed for approval from the FDA for one of their leading drugs, when it should have revisited its formula, and was now in some serious debt from lawsuits from consumers who had experienced a rare side effect that they had chosen to keep to themselves since only one test subject had experienced it.

It was a common mistake these companies often made in desperation to get their product out there, though more often than not, it actually backfired.

However, it wouldn't be my first time going through these motions and I felt confident I could do it again. True, I had never done it while juggling two other companies but I had to believe I could do it. I had no choice.

That was why the two preferable choices were the more secure purchases from the older gentlemen who might retire. But those were harder to land. They often wanted their sons to follow in the family legacy regardless of how little those sons wanted the job.

One of these three should bite the bait though, and if they didn't, I wouldn't be too displeased either. It would give me the chance to push forward Morgan Accounting a little more while not taking my hands off the dating website completely- that one was almost a sure buy already.

I had contacted its creator- Gideon Horowitz- last week and hinted at my intentions and didn't receive a discouraging response.

More than likely, it wasn't the first time he considered the idea.

I spent the rest of the afternoons working on my pitches for all of them and ended up getting home past 9 o'clock again.

I fumbled with the keys in my hazy and tired state and finally managed to get the door open.

Alicia was sitting at the counter in a satin robe reading one of her magazines.

"Oh, good, you're home" she said, not exactly pleased to see me but not upset either. Almost in a passive aggressive tone.

I tried to think of a response but my brain was as exhausted as my body.

I set my briefcase and my helmet down and went to the kitchen for a glass of whiskey. The stress had been keeping me from sleeping well as of late and I needed to sleep well tonight.

As great as being able to decide the time we left by having the company jet available to me, there was always some jetlag that couldn't be avoided, and I was hoping not to have my system too messed up by the lack of sleep.

"A parcel has arrived for you… from Hurlingham Travels" she said softly.

Ugh… I'd forgotten to tell her of the skiing trip.

"The boys and I are taking a holiday" I said in as few words as possible. Even speaking coherent sentences was a hardship at this point.

"During your business trip?" she asked incredulously.

I took a deep breath and let it out before replying.

"I didn't choose the date" I explained simply.

"Were you going to tell me?" she asked, her tone rising in hostility.

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Do you think I was keeping it from you?" I asked, not able to check my own anger. I had too little energy not to be easily irritated.

"It certainly looks that way" she said and paused. "Don't tell me… your new assistant is coming as well, I bet. What does she need to assist you with now?" she asked, her jealousy coming out at last, after these few days of delicious absence.

"No, in fact, she is staying behind to run things while I am gone" I said tiredly as I took a shot of whiskey. I was going to need it. You never knew how long these fights with Alicia were going to last. Sometimes they were over in less than a minute but they could last a whole hour.

"Oh, how lucky you are to have her then" she said, her words overflowing with bitter sarcasm.

I really was not in the mood for this.

I picked up the bottle and the shot glass and made to leave the room.

"Indeed, I am" I said, hoping the shock of my reply would silence her enough to allow me to escape into the bedroom.

And thankfully, it worked.

0-0-0-0-0

They'd been talking for over twenty minutes now.

Not that I worried that Lou wasn't efficient at her job, she was very good about meeting deadlines actually, but their facial expressions were bothering me some.

Miriam looked like a grandmother reprehending her granddaughter and Lou looked actually worried, maybe even a little scared.

It hadn't started that way, but it had certainly escalated there.

Lou had looked concerned as Miriam spoke and seemed to be trying to defend herself but eventually stopped- at which point Miriam became more passionate in her plea.

I knew they were somewhat friends- however unlikely- as they often ate lunch together and always said 'hello' and 'goodbye' to each other.

But I didn't like the look of this conversation or how uncomfortable Lou looked- almost ashamed? Miriam's face I couldn't see, however.

I decided to put a stop to it. We were leaving in a few minutes and I didn't need Lou to have more pressure on her than she already had.

So I decidedly stood up and began walking out of my office and towards them.

As I walked into her line of sight, Miriam stopped midsentence and looked at me horrified but not before I had heard her say: "…may not like to hear-" then stopped abruptly.

She excused herself immediately and walked back to her office.

I looked on as she retreated and decided I didn't like the way she had been directing herself at Lou. And what had she meant by that?

"Everything alright, Clark?" I asked her, giving her a look I hoped told her I expected to hear more than a 'yes'.

She looked down before looking at me and nodding with a forced smile.

Lou… not replying with a myriad of words? That was never a good sign.

It was going to be like that then.

"What was that about?" I said in my boss-tone, meaning a thorough answer was not optional.

However, she was hesitating to answer.

"And don't lie" I said firmly. "I am your boss and if anything is going on here, I need to know".

"Um… can we talk about this later?" she asked almost in a whisper. This was not normal behavior for her.

"We _will_ discuss this" I said as I looked down to her. "Be ready. I am gathering the last of what I need from my office and then we'll depart. The car is already waiting" I said in a kinder tone.

I didn't enjoy being harsh when I didn't have to be.

"Of course" she said and got to it, as I walked back to do the same.

Once in the car, I remained silent, giving her the choice to speak or not. After all, we had plenty of time to talk about her conversation with Miriam, what with a ten-hour flight ahead of us and all.

.

 **A/N: And that's chapter 13! You might have noticed he is starting to refer to her as Lou in his head now. I know that is a big change, however it is only taking place inside his mind and it is doing so without him realizing that he is doing it, as he slowly takes down his walls around her and becomes more comfortable with her. Hope that explains any confusion.**

 **As always, thank you for reading and any feedback of any kind is, oh,** _ **so**_ **appreciated. Thank you** _ **so**_ **much, everybody! (:**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry this chapter took longer than usual, life intervened. But worry not! I promise I will not abandon this story. I will complete it.**

 **Chapter 14**

Lou decided she was going to put all her worries aside and focus on the now. She was going to focus on the fact that she was going to leave the country for the first time and to go to Miami no less!

Yes, she was worried about Patrick and how he would react once he inevitably found out. He would not be happy, she knew that. But she couldn't let it put a dark cloud over the trip. She was going to enjoy herself as much as possible and learn so much!

And then there was Miriam's warning, which the more she thought about it, the more she realized had no base. Had she really allowed the imagination of a woman who barely knew her, and certainly didn't know Will as well as she thought, get to her and ruin her mood? No.

So as she and Will went up and into the jet, she decided she was going to tell him. Why wouldn't she? It was absurd and he was her boss after all, he had a right to know.

She could already imagine him laughing at the absurdity of it all.

In the meantime, she took the opportunity to look around her and examine the jet. It seemed out of this world to her that someone could have so much money that they decided to get one just for their own use and their company's.

Everything in it screamed "detail". Everything looked expensive- from the material of the seats to the designs that covered the insides of it and even the cup holders!

She seated herself and fastened the seat belt as she was instructed.

Just then she felt the jet pick up in speed drastically.

She felt it on her stomach as with every second things flashed by faster out of her window.

It felt as if they had been going too fast for too long. How long could they keep going without crashing onto something? The airstrip hadn't seemed _that_ long.

Just as the fear started enveloping her, she felt the seat below her lift with a force that made her gasp.

She held onto the armrests for dear life and she worried she might be sticking her nails in the expensive material-whatever it was.

But as much as she wanted she could not let go.

Was she even breathing anymore?

A few seconds later, her stomach started settling again and her body becoming accustomed to the sensation even if her ears felt quite odd.

She let out a breath she had been holding and took another deep one.

How was this bloody thing in the air? She should be on the floor squashed like a bug under all this metal! Just then she heard Will speak, having had forgotten all about him.

"Clark, look out your window" he said with a small smile.

And she was out of breath again. Everything looked so small! How could they be so high up in the air?

She felt her eyes glued to the view- she couldn't look away.

And she didn't until the flight attendant came by and spoke to her, taking her out of her trance.

"You may remove your seat belts now" she told her.

That didn't seem safe… she didn't feel confident this thing wasn't going to crash and burn. In fact, she was more scared of it now that they were even higher and above the clouds!

But then she saw Will remove his and go towards a lounging sofa and if he deemed it safe, then it must be. He flew all the time, after all.

So she slowly unbuckled herself and followed him there, sitting on the seat across from him.

"Are you ready to talk?" he asked as he saw her make herself comfortable. Then he made a signal to the flight attendant to approach.

"I am" she replied. "It's quite silly and embarrassing actually" she added with a nervous laugh but then stopped.

"Champagne, please. Clark?" he asked her but she shook her head.

"Um, actually, yes I will have some too, thank you" she changed her mind once she realized it might help with the conversation.

"You do understand I am not trying to get in the middle of your business, however, the conversation you were both having looked worrisome" Will told her as they waited for the champagne.

"Did it?" Lou asked, not having considered what it may have looked like to Will.

"As your boss, it is my responsibility to look out for you and that the office is a place where you can work efficiently. Nothing should hinder your work, especially another worker threatening you and much less in front of others" he said with a no-nonsense and all business tone. However, the words felt caring to Lou in a way that made her feel more comfortable.

A gentle smile appeared on her lips as she looked at him.

"What?" Will asked confused at her response.

Just then the flight attendant came back with two bubbling champagne flutes and handed one to each of them.

They both thanked her and after being assured there was nothing else they needed at the moment she retreated behind the black curtain where she had disappeared to before.

Lou took a sip of the bubbly drink and relished in the taste of it as it went down her throat. It took her back to the art gallery opening they had gone to.

She also felt it start taking effect and relaxing her.

Across from her Will had sipped his too. It was a little odd to see him without his suit jacket. He had removed it and laid it across another seat and he was down to his dress pants and shirt with tie.

He looked a little more casual, relaxed. It was a look she decided suited him.

"Well then?" he prompted her to start as he put his glass to the side and leaned forward to listen to her.

"Um… well, you see" Lou started getting nervous all over again. "Miriam, she… she really meant well, I promise. You see, she has this all wrong. Can you believe she thinks there something between us?" she said with an overly exaggerated "pfft!" and continued as she saw Will's calculating eyes process the information. "Anyways! So she was just telling me that I needed to be careful with you and whatnot, and telling me you have a girlfriend, which I know! And I have a boyfriend too and you're my boss, for God's sake! So I told her that but she's got it in her head. What are you going to do? She's imagined the whole thing; you know how fanciful people can be" she continued filling the spaces in between sentences with laughs and waving of her hands to illustrate the ridiculousness of it all.

And through it all, Will remained quiet and listening intently, which only made Lou more nervous. Why wasn't he laughing? He was supposed to be laughing.

He put his hands together with his two index fingers meeting above his crossed fingers and touched his lips with them as he stayed leaning forward. His eyes stopped meeting Lou's and began looking sideways and down, his mind obviously busy.

"You're not going to fire her, are you?" Lou asked nervous for her friend.

Will didn't answer right away and didn't even acknowledge her question with more than a small and slow shake of his head. Then he sat back against the sofa again and looked at Lou.

"No, I can't. She isn't my employee, only you are. But I would if I could" he told her in all seriousness.

"She just…" Lou started but Will interrupted her, several tones of voice louder.

"She just should mind her own work and not be spreading rumors about you or me" he said as he pointed to each of them respectively. Lou was taken aback some by his words. Not that his anger wasn't justified, but she didn't think she had seen him angry before. Stressed? Yes. Worried? Definitely, but never angry.

"I'm sorry! I'll tell her as soon as I get back to never mention anything like that again" she tried assure Will.

"That won't be necessary" he simply stated, standing up and facing away from Lou, his arms crossed across his chest.

"What will you do?" Lou asked him.

"That's not for you to worry" he said looking at her for a moment out of the corner of his eye and putting his hands in his pockets.

"She's my friend, Will. She only meant well. She was looking out for me" Lou said softly to him standing up herself. She needed to plead for her friend. She had been one of the only people who had been kind to her since she had started working there and Lou truly thought she had meant well.

"Looking out for you? What the bloody hell am I? Some rapist who's going to take your virginity in the night? You can bloody look out for yourself!" he yelled turning around to face Lou who took a few steps back. She had never seen him like this. He let a breath out and looked down for a second before meeting her eyes again. "We both know our places" he said, all anger gone from his voice now. "And she needs to learn not to meddle in things she knows nothing of" he added and turned to take a gulp from the champagne.

"Let me talk to her" Lou asked him.

"She didn't seem like she was listening when you tried that" he said.

"She will this time, I promise. She caught me off guard today and I didn't know how to explain myself. But I will know exactly what to say to her when we get back. I'll get it all straightened out. And don't worry, Will. People won't be talking about this" she assured him with a smile. "Everyone looks at me and sees some weird girl and they just try to figure out why in the world you would hire me" she laughs.

"Well, they're wrong" he says to her, more calm now.

"I know that. And you know that. Whatever the reasons, which shan't be mentioned, for which you originally hired me, the truth is we work well together. And I don't care what all the tall legs in the office have to say about it" she said playfully.

Will was silent for a moment.

"If they only knew you actually know how to write a proper email with the company letterhead and all. I'm sure they'd wish they could trade their tall legs for your skills" he said meeting her in her joking.

Lou laughed whole-heartedly at this- half from relief that he had let go of whatever idea he had had for Miriam and half because it just felt good to have gotten to this comfortable place with Will.

"Did you review the last page I sent you this morning?" he asked her sitting back down, all back to business now.

"Yes, and I'm glad you mentioned it because I had a couple of questions about it" Lou replied sitting back down again.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Lou's head snapped up when she felt the rumble of the plane touching the ground.

They were here. And she was buckled? She had fallen asleep hours ago and certainly hadn't buckled herself in… odd.

She looked out onto what seemed to be a private airstrip and realized she was now in another continent.

That took a moment to sink in.

But soon they were out of Alfred's jet and stepping into a car that would take them to their hotel- Ritz- Carlton or something like that.

It all felt so surreal- that she, small town girl Louisa Clark had flown to America on a private jet and was now on her way to a 5-star hotel, and in a private car no less.

She didn't care if Will thought she was being silly- she had a permanent smile on her face as she took in everything around them, only interrupted by the casual gasp when she saw the beach or the entrance to their hotel or the lobby… she was gasping a lot.

Will gave her an amused look when he handed her her room card but other than that no one acknowledged her wide-eyed look.

Even the elevator looked posh!

Once they arrived to their floor she began looking for her room number- 438.

She kept saying the number out loud to herself as she walked down the long hallway with Will a few steps ahead of her.

"Here it is!" she said more to herself once she laid her eyes on her number.

"I'll be right next door" she heard Will tell her as he stood in front of his own door a few steps down. "I know we're jetlagged and you'll want to sleep but try to resist. It's better to try to adjust to the new time zone as soon as possible. Get settled in. I'll come for you for dinner at 7" he told her and with that went into his room.

Thankfully she had slept a few hours on the plane so she thought she would be fine.

She walked in her room and instantly wondered how much the company must be paying for these rooms. She also wondered if she could ask Will without coming off crude.

When she noticed the balcony she dropped her suitcases and ran outside to it immediately. Once the glass doors were opened she was hit by the most wonderful sea breeze.

The smell of ocean mixed in with the cool breeze and the heat from the sun made her heart leap.

She stepped over to the edge of the balcony and closed her eyes for a moment, just to take it all in. Then she looked out over the white sand and the clear blue water. Oh, she really hoped she would have a chance to go to the beach. She would have to ask Will. The gala wasn't until the day after tomorrow so she might be able to squeeze it in Thursday, unless Will had work for her, of course. They were here to work after all.

She knew she needed to get back inside and unpack and shower and get ready for dinner but she could not take herself away from the view.

She was brought out of her trance by a voice which had become all too familiar to her.

"How long do you take to do your make-up?" she heard and jumped. Her ears recognized the voice coming from the side and when she looked over she saw Will standing in his own balcony- obviously just out of the shower- wet hair and all.

It took her moment to take in the view in front of her. It was odd seeing him in what felt like something an assistant should never see her boss in. Yes, she had seen him in casual clothes before when they had gone shopping for her clothes for Miami but somehow this was different. They were in South Beach and his wet hair was being tousled by the breeze and… had that been a tease?

"Not too long" she replied the strange question.

"Good" he answered and then added leaning on the balcony. "Because you have thirty minutes to be ready" he said with a smile.

"What?! It's not six thirty yet!" she said to him.

"Yes, it is, check your watch" he said with a laugh.

She gasped as she saw she had indeed been out there for over an hour and began to rush back inside.

"Wear a sundress!" she heard him say as she closed the glass doors.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"We're eating here?" Lou asked as she saw the place at which the cabbie had stopped. It looked small and casual and more like a tiki bar than a restaurant.

There was Spanish music being played by live band accompanied by a curvy girl with long jet black hair in a red dress that was dancing along with the band.

The sky was already turning dark and you could see the place had twinkly lights in all colors wrapped around every column and hanging from the roof.

"You've been staying at the Ritz for a grand total of two hours and already this is not fancy enough for you?" he teased her.

"No, it's just fine for me, just didn't think it'd be your kind of place" she clarified as she stepped out of the yellow car and onto the sidewalk.

"Trust me, we have plenty sit down dinners ahead of us. You'll be sick of them sooner than you think and you'll be glad you had the opportunity to taste what Miami is truly like" he said to her and led her inside the place. "Can we get a table outside?" he asked the host.

"It's going to be 45 minutes" the tan man answered with a thick accent.

"We'll wait" Will replied him.

"Only twenty inside" the host offered.

"Will! Let's just sit inside, I'm starving!" Lou pleaded. "And it's so hot and humid!" she added.

"Trust me, you want outside" he told her and then directed himself to the host assuring him they were willing to wait.

After they had been given a small black square that would flash once it was their turn and were advised not to wander off or it would lose signal, they stepped out.

"Where is your sense of adventure, Clark?" he asked her with a smile.

"Where the AC is at, that is where. This place is bloody hot!" she said fanning herself with her hand as he laughed in response.

"Welcome to Miami" was Will's reply.

 **A/N: Once again, sorry this chapter took longer than usual. I hope you guys liked it but let me know what you thought regardless. Thank you for reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter. Your comments fuel my writing and so here is the next chapter! (:**

 **Chapter 15**

The twinkly lights shimmered beautifully off of her bare shoulders and the light from the falling sun gave her face a glow he hadn't noticed before.

She had been saying something but he had to ask her to repeat herself.

"I was saying how nice it is after all to sit outside. You can feel the breeze from the ocean" she said with a calm smile.

"I knew you would like it once you tried it" he said with a smile directed at her. "You should just start taking my word for things without doubting it so much" he said teasing her.

"Oh! There's the Traynor ego we all know and love" she replied with a laugh.

"I can't help it, you know, that I'm right so much" he said without hesitating.

"Oh, what a terrible burden, you poor you" Lou said with feigned pity and a smile.

Just then their waiter approached, successfully interrupting their fun banter, and set down the two menus on the wooden table as well as two small napkins for their drinks and silverware wrapped in larger napkins.

"Hello, my name is Rafael and I will be your waiter tonight" said the twenty-something year old man. He was tan and had dark hair and a clean shaven face. "What can I get you both to drink?" he asked them.

"Do you have tea?" Lou asked as she perused the drinks section.

"Iced sweet tea. Southern style" he replied to her, realizing from her accent that she must not be from there.

Lou pursued her lips as her eyes searched the page for something she might recognize.

"Water, then. Thank you" she said to the man with a polite smile.

"Clark, you did not fly over the Atlantic Ocean to drink water" Will said, one eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"I don't know what any of this is, Will" she replied in her defense.

"Alright, bring her the water and also… a Bahama Mama and a Cuba Libre for myself, thank you" Will said to the waiter who nodded and walked away.

Lou continued familiarizing herself with the menu to the sad realization that she hardly understood what any of the dishes were.

"Oh my goodness, Will. Where have you brought me?" she asked worriedly, as she looked the menu up and down a second time.

"It's Cuban food, Clark, the best in all the city" he said as he searched his own menu for his meal choice.

"Perhaps they have some boiled potatoes? I'll ask him when he gets back" she said more to herself than anything as she continued to examine the menu in search of anything familiar she might have missed.

"Clark" Will said in annoyance.

"I don't like the sound of any of this, Will" she said already knowing he was judging her for her lack 'adventurous spirit'.

"Would you take a suggestion from me?" he asked her first before going off and telling her what to get.

"Sure… have you had this kind of food before?" she asked him but he was already standing up and coming beside her stool. The stool was quite high and so even though he was standing to his full height it very much felt as if they were both standing next to each other.

His face got close to hers as he looked through her menu and she heard his voice low, close to her own face as he recited suggestions off the menu. She could smell his expensive perfume as it traveled from his skin to her nostrils invading it with a scent she didn't realize she recognized but that felt awfully familiar to the presence of her boss.

"… so ultimately I think your best bet are the fried yucca with the white rice and black beans and the Cuban roast pork" he said with a satisfied smile and looked at her for her response. He noticed right away, once his eyes landed on her, how her shoulders had tensed and her usual easy-going demeanor was gone.

He returned to his own stool ignoring the signals his body was sending him in response and asked her what she thought to have after all.

"Yes, I'll take your suggestion" she said still somewhat unsettled. Will took the opportunity to escape from the awkward moment by pulling out his Blackberry and checking his emails and messages.

Among others, he had one from Jeff reminding him he owed him one now and asking if he wanted to meet for drinks later as he was also in Miami this weekend. He contemplated what to answer but then just scrolled to the next message.

Lou took the time to take in her surroundings. The light from the setting sun was filtering through cracks and spaces in soft oranges and warm sunlight that clashed with the cooler breeze from the beach that could just reach them, as they were only some hundred meters and a street away from it.

It really was beautiful and after a while the discomfort from the humidity and the lack of controlled temperature just faded to the back of your head to make way for other more pleasing thoughts.

All around them were other young people obviously there on vacation. Some were in couples, some in groups and all wearing very small clothing.

She herself was wearing a strapless yellow sundress that was airy enough to not get too hot in it without the need to show off as much as the rest of the women around her.

But then she guessed the temperature might be only one of the factors that contributed to the lack of actual clothing on them.

While it was somewhat uncomfortable, they were easy to ignore as they all faded together between all the bright colors they were wearing.

And this way they remained quiet until they saw the young man approaching with their drinks, bringing them out of their own thoughts.

Lou almost grabbed the drink off his tray at the pretty sight of it but recoiled back and let him place it in the napkin for it in front of her along with her glass of water.

"Do you need another minute or would you like to go ahead and order?" he asked, with pencil in hand ready to jot down their orders.

"I think we are ready?" Will said to Lou and when she nodded, he read off the menu some platter name in Spanish that Lou did not understand and when he asked her, she only said to ask for what he had already suggested.

And in moments the waiter had left them alone again.

Lou inspected the drink in front her. It looked so colorful and appetizing and so she decided to take a sip of it.

What happened next she could only describe by calling it an explosion of exotic taste, juices that she couldn't name apart from the other with a familiar kick that the alcohol provided burning down her throat.

It was as delicious as it looked.

She took one more sip, longer this time, and relished in the new and surprising taste. She had never been much for drinking anything other than your typical beer, wine and of recently, champagne and so the experience was all together new.

After the fourth, she could already feel her shoulders relax and a sense of things falling into place envelop her.

She looked across the small table and saw Will sip his dark drink and thought that perhaps she had worried over nothing and they could have a meal like co-workers, wind down from the long trip and get ready for the long days of work ahead of them.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"This was really so good! Can I have another?" she asked Will.

"The drink or the appetizer?" he asked her, amused at her excitement.

"Both, actually. They were really good" she expressed in surprise.

"I'm glad you liked it after all. But wouldn't you like to try something else?" he asked her.

"No, this was so great, Will. You've got to try it!" she said enthusiastically.

"I have, Clark. That's why I thought you'd like them" he said smiling at her. He then proceeded to signal at the waiter to come to their table again.

"Can we have another order of the fried yucca and another Bahama Mama? Thank you, Rafael" he said to the young man. He only replied with a nod and left them again. "You also might want to leave some space for the actual meal?" he said to his smiling assistant.

"How have I never had food like this?" she asked him.

"You can't find it like this back in London. Perhaps an imitation of it but this place is run by a family who have had these recipes for generations. You can't get quite this taste outside of Miami" he told her as he dipped a shrimp in the special secret sauce of the restaurant.

"You can't even feel the humidity anymore after a while" she observed as she looked around her.

"It's also getting darker and cooler" he told her, amused at her change in mood. Perhaps it had something to do with the Bahama Mama, he thought.

After a few minutes of silence, Will spoke again.

"You know what this reminds me of?" he asked Lou.

"What?" she asked good-naturedly.

"Sushi" he replied.

"Ugh, Will Traynor! I get it! You're a god! You're always right. You know everything. All hail Will Traynor!" she said rolling her eyes playfully at him.

"I wasn't trying to brag" he clarified.

"Really? Could have fooled me!" she said smiling.

"I was only trying to show you that sometimes it pays to take a risk, Clark. You could have asked for boiled potatoes or some other boring food you've had a million times. But you didn't. And aren't you glad you gave something new a shot?" he asked her seriously.

"I still don't know if I'll like the main course" she reminded him.

"But I think based on the fact you've asked for seconds on your appetizer, I think I can safely say you'll like what's coming next" he said to her playfully.

She looked at him expectantly for what he would say next but the waiter arrived with her second order of fried yucca and her drink.

A smile spread across her face as she saw it and barely waited for him to set it down before her hands were picking up a small piece and dipping it in the cilantro sauce.

"Ugh, this is so good!" she exclaimed after she had swallowed her first bite.

"I am glad you like it, miss" Rafael said with a polite smile and assured them their food was coming out soon.

Will looked at her with a pleased smile.

"Anyways, what I was trying to say is… this is a lot like our job, Clark. You have to take risks and get out of your comfort zone" he said more serious now and once she noticed this, she gave him her undivided attention.

He looked down and stayed thinking for a few seconds before he looked at her again and spoke.

She waited patiently.

"I wasn't ready for Alfred to throw all of this on us. I do often come with several possible clients in mind to target at this gala and come out with two or three possibilities as well and perhaps even a purchase if it goes extremely well. But things are different this year. The stakes and the pressure have been raised. I am going to really need your help, Clark" he said to her.

"I know, that's why I am here" she said a little more animated.

"I know. I _am_ glad you're here" he said and his sincerity took Lou by surprise. She could only return him a small smile and a nod.

Something had been shifting lately and it had been creeping up on her without her knowledge. She didn't know what it was but it was sending shivers on her warm skin and not the friendly kind of butterflies to her stomach.

"So the day after tomorrow, the day of the gala, I'm going to need you to be alert. We will be on the lookout for Gideon Horowitz. We need to charm his pants off and set up a meeting to talk about numbers with him before the night is over. But we also have George Harrison, Ezra Lowden and the Foyets to target. One of them needs to bite before we leave. We have to have settled at least a meeting with one of them, if not all, and we will need to come back owning one of their companies. Normally, this weight would not fall to the shoulders of my assistant but I believe you are capable of making a huge difference in all this. Two is better than one, after all. I hate to put this pressure on you and if it is too much to ask, do not hesitate in telling me, Clark. You can stick to your usual tasks and I will take care of the rest" he said and became quiet, waiting for her response.

"Of course, Will. I understand. I will do what I can" she said with a nervous smile that was meant to look more assuring that it did.

"Are you sure you feel ready for this? I'm talking more than standing next to me and helping the conversation. You'd be doing some of what you've seen me do before. Talking to possible clients and doing the whole pitch" he reminded her.

"May I remind you that I was the one to get Sir Lexington to tell us what he intended for his company in the future when you had been trying unsuccessfully for months?" she asked with a proud smile and eyebrows raised.

"Well, you did have an advantage over me that night" he replied.

"Oh really? Other than being completely unexperienced?" she asked playfully.

"Yes, he has a thing for pretty brunettes in red dresses" he said with one eyebrow raised and a smile.

Lou laughed for a second before it all registered and her mind struggled to process what he had said.

Had he just…?

She gulped and looked away trying to remain composed while also trying to tell her own mind to stop reading too much into things and making her blush.

Thankfully, she was pretty sure she could blame it on the heat and the second drink she had been slowly sipping.

There was silence then and she tried to look over towards where the kitchen could be seen in search of their food.

She could see the cooks all dressed in white slaving over the flames and putting together the beautiful dishes but even that sight could not distract her from her own thoughts.

She fanned herself and observed it was still remarkably hot even though the sun was almost gone.

"That's Florida for you" Will replied so normally that Lou almost convinced herself she must have imagined what he had said.

In just that moment, Miriam's words echoed in her mind and she tried to put them out of her head.

Thankfully, their waiter did pick up two plates and began coming their way.

With food to be eaten she could quietly regain control of herself and her thoughts without appearing uncharacteristically quiet.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Night had fallen for over an hour now as they made their way back to the hotel.

The city was gorgeous and all around them was life and fun and laughter as they quietly walked.

In between buildings she would catch a glimpse of the glimmering sand and ached to feel it under her toes and touch the water, but had to restrain herself from doing so. Somehow it seemed like a situation she shouldn't put herself in with Will.

Just then, she heard her cell come to life and when she looked at the screen, there was a name she hadn't thought about in hours.

She gulped and realized Will may have seen who it was and it could appear odd were she to ignore the call.

"I'm sorry" she said to him.

"Not all, you should answer" he said and she clicked on the green button.

"Hello" she answered nervously.

How was she going to explain she was in another country with another man who she had just had dinner with and with whom she'd be with for days? And that she had failed to mention it before that day?

They had hardly spoken since their awkward weekend and this was so the wrong time to do it.

"Hey Lou" Patrick said cheerfully.

"What are you doing up at this hour? Isn't it past midnight there?" she asked.

"Well, I guess… yeah it is, I hadn't realized. I just came out of the pub with some friends. But why did you say 'there'? It's the same as London here, Lou" he said suspiciously.

"Oh, yes it is, I just… well, I'm actually not in London" she said with an exhaling breath, resigning herself to the outcome of the conversation.

"Where are you?" he asked seriously.

"Miami, for work" she said quickly.

"What do you mean you're in Miami for work?" he asked, his voice escalating in tone.

"We had to come for a yearly work thing. I'll be here a few days actually. It might have slipped my mind to mention it before" she replied.

"Oh, of course. Why wouldn't you remember to say it? We only spent the whole weekend together!" he said more loudly and it was becoming loud enough for Will to hear.

He made a motion with his hand as if he was going to check something across the street and tactfully made himself scarce.

"Patrick…" she said with a sad sigh. There was so much to say and so little desire on her part to do so.

"No, Lou. I can't believe you're doing this to me" he said, and a little hurt could be heard in his voice, if only it was minimal.

"Patrick, I'm sorry…" she said but couldn't figure out how to say more.

"Sorry? What does that fix, Lou? Are you there with him?" he asked, no need to say who him was.

"Of course, I am, Patrick he is my boss. Who else?" she asked exasperated.

"Lou, I need some time to think about all this, about us. Don't call me" he said, anger lining his words.

"Patrick!" she said, scared now of what he would say next, of what would come out of this conversation. "Just let me…"

"Let you what, Lou?" he asked daringly.

Explain? How?

"Let me come see you" she said without much thought. "Let's talk in person. Please?" she begged. She felt horrible but what about she couldn't tell. Was it guilt? Or was it something else? Did this bad feeling just come from a beat and dead relationship that she was fighting to hold on to?

There was silence in the other end.

"Fine" he said finally. "But I won't promise anything" he added and clicked.

She looked at the empty screen now gone black, a horrible feeling on the pit of her stomach.

What had gone wrong? What had she done to make things so bad? Had she ruined everything? Or had he had some part in all this? Was there hope for them? They had been happily together for a very long time now, so what had happened? Was it simply impossible to overcome the distance?

Her mind was whirling with conflicting thoughts of guilt and anger and confusion when Will came back from across the streets with a small bag from the shop he had been in.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently.

She simply nodded and gave him a feigned smile but couldn't hold his gaze and lie to him at the same time so she looked down after a second.

But he seemed to understand she needed the space and the silence since he initiated no more conversations on their way back. Just kept his hands in his trouser pockets and eyebrows furrowed. But what his thoughts were Lou could only guess. Except there was little room for that in her conflicted mind.

Once they were on their floor they walked towards their rooms and he wished her a good night.

"Thank you for dinner, Will. I really liked it" she said sincerely and realized how much like a date this might have looked to the outside eye.

"I'm glad to hear it" he said with a small smile and a nod and with that he turned around and began walking towards his own room.

She was just glad she was jetlagged and tired, otherwise it might have proved a challenge to sleep that night.

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 **A/N: So tell me what you think, dear readers! (: Thank you for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reads and supports this story (: it makes my day to see it is being enjoyed by others. And thank you to all the Guest reviewers to whom I can't reply to- your words inspire me just as much! This chapter will be a 3** **rd** **person POV but will only delve into Lou's mind. However, I am planning to write chapter 17 from Will's POV. OK, that's it, read on! (:**

 **Chapter 16**

The sun shining bright through the glass doors was what finally brought Lou out of her unrestful sleep. The white flowy curtains did little to shield her eyes from the bright light from outside and after a few minutes of enjoying the softness of the sheets and the warmth of her bed, Lou decided to get out of it.

She went about her morning routine as she would have at home, if only more relaxed since she didn't have to be anywhere at a specific time. It felt odd to do the things she always did at home at a place that looked so different. Her room here was spacious and full of light and decorated in soft neutral colors. The bathroom was large and spotlessly clean and nothing like the cluttered mess back home with Treena's hairdryer and hair products all about and grand-dad's shaving creams and old razors next to their toothbrushes cramped in a little cup and small white hairs sticking to the sink, the ones grand-dad couldn't see and didn't wash away after shaving. Nowhere in sight were all the bath toys that Thomas insisted in keeping in the tub or the dirty diapers in the garbage can.

The sink here was glass and stood above the beautiful sparkling granite. The glass didn't have a splash of water on it and above her hung several white lights that illuminated every corner of the bathroom. It almost seemed like sin to brush one's teeth around such spotless surfaces.

Once she was done admiring all the detail that had been so thoughtfully put into the room, she realized that Will never told her what exactly they needed to do today as they were still a day away from the gala. She knew he said they had work to do but hadn't mentioned anything else- no time or place where they had to meet or if she needed to prepare anything. She checked her cell and saw no messages from him. Perhaps he was sleeping in himself.

It was slightly past nine in the morning and one look outside made her ache to run in the warm sand and swim in the water. Since she hadn't been told otherwise- or rather hadn't been told anything at all- she instantly began searching for her bathing suit through her things till finally she found it. She had brought her favorite- it was navy blue with white polka dots and a red bow in between where her breasts would be. And she had her red-rimmed sunglasses to go with it.

She was in it in minutes and wore a white cover-up on top of it. She gathered some essentials in a bag- a towel, some clean clothes, sunblock among other things- and was out the door in a few steps but only to run into Will who had been about to knock on it.

"Oh!" she exclaimed once she saw him.

"Good morning" he said simply as he examined her attire.

"Hi! I just thought I could dip my toes in the water for a bit" she said with an apologetic smile once she realized she may have rushed into deciding she could go off without saying anything.

"I can see that" he said with what began to be an amused smile. "I was just coming to discuss with you today's agenda".

"Yes, of course! Want to come in?" she asked already putting her bag down.

"I was thinking we could do it over breakfast?" he asked as he pointed behind him.

"Sure" she said and with that began to follow him after she had grabbed the room key from the bag. "Is it alright to go dressed like this?" she asked him as they approached the lift.

"You're fine, Clark" he said still amused as he pressed the button to go down. Once they were in it she realized she had nothing to worry about as the others already in the elevator were dressed similarly if only in the high brand equivalents of her clothes.

Once on the ground floor, he guided her towards a large open area that resembled a buffet only much larger. There seemed to be just about anything anyone could want to eat from bakery items to chefs making omelets to your order to bowls of tropical fruits and several other items of food she had never seen before and was too embarrassed to ask about. In all honesty, she wanted to try one of each but there was no way she could. Plus, everyone was carrying around small little plates with a thing or two, no one hoarding like she wanted to. So she went around and chose a few of what looked the most appetizing to her based on what she knew and after asking one of workers for some tea, went and sat with Will at one of the small tables.

Once she was sitting, she saw Will look at her plate with apprehension.

"What?" she asked him.

"You got a muffin, sausage, and boiled potatoes?" he asked incredulously.

"I happen to like those things" she said in defense. She took a look at Will's plate and realized she didn't know a single thing in his plate. "What is that?" she asked as she looked at something she couldn't identify. It looked like some sort of pastry perhaps?

"Mille-feuille" he states simply but with an impressive French accent to it. She has to admit; it catches her off guard to hear him say it with such ease. The words just rolled off his lips as if he were saying his own name when she would struggle to get a word like that out, much less get the pronunciation right. She had taken French in school but had been a disaster. She could never get the sounds to not sound stupid when she said them.

She didn't know what to say to that. She was nowhere near to knowing what it was now other than recognizing it was something French.

After a few seconds with no reply, she heard Will speak again.

"It's a French pastry, more or less. I'll have to try it and see if it is any good. It is the first year they have it here" he added.

She watched him take a bite out of it and waited to hear his verdict with curiosity. It did look really good. She just hadn't wanted to get all sorts of weird things on her plate she might end up disliking and throwing away. And she wasn't seeing many people getting up to get seconds. Perhaps it wasn't done in restaurants like this?

"So what's Critic Traynor have to say about it?" she asked playfully once he was done chewing and swallowing the first bit.

"It isn't the worst I've tried. I wonder what chef they have making these. It is surprisingly good for something made in America. He couldn't be from here or at least didn't go to school here, certainly" he said almost to himself in contemplation.

Lou rolled her eyes lightly at him. Leave it to Will to have something snobby to say.

"What was that for?" he asked, having noticed her response.

"We're at a 5-star hotel, Will. I can't imagine how you can have any complaints about the food here" she said.

"You'd know what I mean if you'd had the one they serve at Café Marquis on Rue Des Francs Bourgeois in Paris" he replied.

She looked at him in disbelief and amusement at the fact that a person was really saying what she was hearing and was actually serious.

She couldn't help a small laugh escape her lips at the ridiculousness of the comment and just looked down at her plate.

He looked at her at the sound of her laugh, none too pleased, and got up.

"Will, come back" she said but he was already out of earshot and she wasn't about to yell in this place. An uncomfortable feeling began to grow in her stomach. Had she offended him? She hadn't meant to. Her mind was trying to make sense of what had just occurred when she saw him sit back down with a white plate and a- whatever it was he had just been eating- on it and setting it in front of her.

"Here, try it. I want you to take mental note of every sensation, every taste, every feeling. Record it in your mind and the day we go to Paris and you try the real thing, you'll tell me if you're still laughing" he said as he leaned back in his chair to observe her.

She looked at him, relieved that he had only gotten up to get her a pastry, but also wondering when in the world he was planning for them in to be in Paris. From what she had seen from his history in the company, he hardly ever went there, at least not for business. But she decided to say nothing. It did feel nice to know he planned to keep her around for a long time- at least long enough that he thought they would one day be sitting in a café in Paris together.

The thought of it brought a genuine smile to her face and only a few seconds later did she realize she had been staring at him while smiling. She looked down in embarrassment but then realized- he had been looking at her, too.

A small fluttering rose from her stomach and she felt her cheeks warm up just the slightest bit. And it seemed really hard to look up so she picked up the pastry and took a small, cautious bite.

The light layers of vanilla and the flaky baked sheets with something else sweet exploded in her mouth. Her taste buds worked at break-neck speed to assimilate all the wonderful flavors that kept appearing the more she chewed into it. She found herself closing her eyes and not opening them till it was all the way down.

Her eyelashes fluttered open and she looked at Will who was looking at her with a satisfied smile.

"This is wonderful! How can you say you've tasted better?" she asked, all previous thoughts of embarrassment gone and replaced by that pure joy you feel when you discover something lovely.

A light laughter flowed from his existing smile and he assured her that she would know what he meant once she tried the one from Paris.

The conversation flowed effortlessly from that moment on and forty-five minutes later she was dragging Will across the hallway back to his room after having begged and pleaded they go to beach first before working. She backed up her argument with something about needing a clear mind to work their best and how could they be in Florida and not go to the beach?

And that's how they found themselves laying in beach chairs as the sun warmed their skin. The sound of the waves hitting the beach was the perfect soundtrack for that moment. Lou lay there in her odd-looking bathing suit among all the stick-skinny girls in the smallest bikinis she had ever seen with all the confidence in the world. She didn't care if they looked better or worse. She could hardly think of a time before when she had felt more at peace and content than this moment and nothing could ruin it.

Will lay in the beach chair next to her in equal quiet, his eyes covered under his designer sunglasses.

Although he had resisted the idea at first, he had agreed without much convincing needed, and she was glad she had insisted.

He had been under an enormous amount of stress in the last few weeks and he had much more to go through. This trip was not going to be a piece of cake and there was much pressure on him from Alfred and she could see it take a toll on him. And so she thought it her responsibility to ease that pressure as much as she could. She had been working hard and she planned to continue to do so as well as provide as much positivity as she could. Will needed it.

The sun had started to burn just a bit too much after a while and the idea of a refreshing swim began to appeal to her.

She looked over to Will but couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not and didn't want to bother him.

She'd just take a small swim and come back in a bit. They did need to work after all and couldn't spend the entire day at the beach.

She had gotten up and removed her cover-up when she heard him speak.

"Going to the water?" he asked removing his sunglasses to speak to her. So he had been awake after all.

"Want to come?" she answered after a nod.

He offered no reply but simply got up and with a swift motion removed his shirt. She tried really hard not to stare but the temptation was too great. Was there nothing wrong with this man?

Her mind quickly made the connection with the last time she had seen a fit man shirtless and realized she hadn't had that reaction to Patrick's body once she'd seen him after all his weeks of exercise.

In retrospective, Patrick's and Will's bodies weren't much different but Will's was having a reaction on her that she hadn't gotten with Patrick's.

Alarms went off in her mind, blaring with cautions she chose to ignore. She wasn't going to see into this more than there was, in fact, she wasn't going to look into it at all. The possibility of what she might find out about herself was too frightening.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Sometime near 2 o'clock, both Will and Lou were bathed and sitting around the small round table in Will's room.

The beach had been wonderful but they did need to get working and get ready for the day after.

She didn't know what it was, but the more time she spent with Will, the more she felt things taking a turn and towards what she didn't want to contemplate.

On the surface, nothing had changed, but there was an electricity in the air that she couldn't ignore. If he was feeling it or not she couldn't tell, but she sure was trying to hide her own reaction to it. It would do no good to anyone for her to show it.

That she was attracted to Will, she no longer could deny. That Patrick occupied less and less time in her mind was factual. That she needed to get ahold of herself before she did something stupid was imperative.

They spoke in depth of the companies that offered the best outcomes, who was at the helm of which and how to best approach each one. Of course, all of this was just in theory. Once Friday night arrived and they were in the presence of these people, it all could change. They had to be ready for anything and to change their strategies on the spot. Lou worried that under all the pressure she might ruin it all or miss a cue from Will.

Will wanted her to do some negotiating of her own. He wouldn't have time to talk to everyone throughout the night if he wanted to make a lasting impression and get a meeting. And so Lou would need to take one of the CEO's for herself.

The prospect terrified her but Will assured her she was ready and he trusted her completely. Words and phrases like that were not helpful to the tumult inside her.

For hours they dug into all they knew of these people and examined all the possible scenarios. At this point, Will knew enough of their circumstances to know that they would need to stay much longer past the long weekend, perhaps for a few weeks. The negotiations could get ruthless if they wanted to get the best deal possible, and they absolutely had to. They couldn't risk failure- not with the way things were at the moment.

As the hours passed and the intensity of the situation rose, they found themselves inching their chairs closer around the table as they tried to memorize from the same notes all the facts about each separate company. Each one was different and needed a different approach and one single mistake could be their undoing.

Nearing 7 o'clock, they began to feel hunger and ordered room service which they ate as they studied.

Towards 8:30, there were dirty dishes at the other end of the table and they had taken up quizzing each other on facts and trick questions.

Lou felt her mind becoming numb even though, to her surprise, she could recall the correct answer to most of the questions mostly automatically.

She could see the wear on Will also, as his eyes began to look tired and his hands were running through his hair more and more often.

Towards the end of the night, they had decided that Lou would pay special attention to George Harrison as he was regarded by most to be a kind old man.

But no matter what, Lou couldn't shake the feeling that she wasn't ready for this. Who was she a few months back? Practically nobody. Will would have never laid so much responsibility on her if he didn't absolutely need absolutely need to, as she couldn't imagine that he thought her ready for it.

Even though it was getting late, her heart was pulsing hard and strong and her exhaustion couldn't overcome her anxiety for the day after.

"Will, what if I can't do it?" she said in defeat. She didn't want to show weakness but he needed to know the risks. There was too much riding on this.

"If you can't do what?" he asked, tired himself.

"Everything you need me to do? I haven't been in this world very long and these are all high society people. They will see though me right away" she admitted.

He didn't answer right away, which worried her. He must have some reserves towards her himself if he wasn't contradicting it.

"Lou" he said, startling her. She wasn't used to hearing him call her anything but Clark. "You know what I see when I look at you?" he asked pensively.

"Please don't say potential" she said rolling her head back.

"Potential" he said right after. "You have more power and abilities than you realize, Clark. And once you get through tomorrow night, which you will, you will see that you are meant for much more than sitting behind a desk and scheduling my meetings and bringing me my tea" he added and paused.

Lou didn't know what to say. His honesty and praise caught her by surprise.

"You've got a head on your shoulders, Clark. How did you never study past the mandatory education?" he asked curiously.

She opened her mouth to respond but stopped herself. It was a hard question to answer.

"I was going to" she simply said and looked around the room, avoiding his penetrating gaze.

"Why didn't you?" he asked.

She looked at him and contemplated going into all the reasons she didn't attend Uni.

"It's a long story" she decided to say after a moment.

"Tell me" he asked without hesitation. And so she told him more than she planned to. She told him about the money situation and how her family had needed her to work while Treena went off to Uni. And how Treena got herself pregnant and had to come home which kept her in her spot even more now that there were two more mouths to feed. And how they had never really come out of that situation and now that they lived in London for Treena, they needed her to work more than ever and so the circumstances had never allowed her to go back to school.

Once it was all out, she felt a weight lifted off her shoulders but the quiet around her was eerie. Had she really told her boss all that? And what was more, he had listened intently, and growing increasingly upset with the more she said even if he was trying to hide it.

She could tell he had a lot he wanted to say on the subject, perhaps that she should have gone anyways and taken night classes or something or that she should have left her family to fend for themselves and taken care of her. What he thought of it all, she never found out as he shared none of it. And she wondered if she should have said anything at all.

"It's getting late" she observed once it was obvious he wasn't going to say much more. He nodded but stayed deep in thought as his eyebrows furrowed.

She got up and started walking towards the door.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" she asked.

"Just be ready at 4" he said as he followed her towards the exit. "And if you can prepare some rough drafts for the proposals, I would appreciate it. It doesn't have to be perfect, just to have an idea. And don't stress if you can't do them all. Just take your time, do what you can and be ready at 4" he repeated.

"Anything else I should keep in mind? About my attire perhaps?" she asked.

"No, just wear the clothes we bought for the occasion. But that does remind me" he said with a raised finger. "Wait here" he added and walked towards his suitcase. He opened the side pocket of it and pulled something out and placed it in his trouser pockets.

He came up to her and pulled it back out. It was a small square box made of wood.

He held it out to her.

"I saw this in the little shop I went into last night while you were on the phone and it looked like something you'd wear" he said.

All the nerves from a few hours earlier came back with blunt force and she felt herself losing control over her composure.

"Oh" she breathed out unevenly and reached out hesitantly for it.

"Open it" he said with a gentle smile.

She did so with shaky fingers and what she saw made her mouth open and then a happy laughter exploded.

She saw a gold chain with three pendants hanging off of it. One was a golden honeycomb hanging in the back, then there was a gold, white and black bee in the middle and the words "Queen Bee" hanging on by a corner and taking over the front.

There was no way he could have known she loved bees, it had to have been a happy coincidence but nonetheless she loved it.

She didn't know in what moment her emotions overrode her logic but in a second her arms were thrown around his neck and she was hugging him with a large smile on her face.

The smell of his perfume was particularly strong on his clothes and it was what brought her back to reality.

But instead of feeling embarrassed, she was reassured by his laughter and his words: "You're going to kill them tomorrow, Queen Bee".

However comfortable she may have felt in his arms, it would have been inappropriate to remain in the embrace any longer and so she stepped back, still giddy from the surprise.

"Goodnight, Will" she said with a smile from ear to hear and her eyebrows all the way up as high as they would go.

"Goodnight, Lou" he said smiling as he closed the door after her.

.

.

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 **A/N: Please continue to let me know what you think of the story and of this chapter (: You guys' feedback is super helpful and highly appreciated!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: The feedback I continually receive for this story never ceases to astound me. You guys and the love you show for this story are the reasons I go on writing even through the hard times and the times I feel lazy and when writer's block hits… Thank you all! 3**

 **Chapter 17**

It was an odd sensation. A place which I had always remembered with thoughts of exhilaration and the sweet euphoria of success had lost its shimmer.

It was the exact same hotel I always stayed at, but I didn't sleep as well on the bed I always thought was so heavenly. And readying myself for the gala was, for the first time, a slow and tedious process that I was dreading being over with.

More than once I have been considering whether I am losing my touch or my once jovial approach to my work.

It is true; I have never faced such an ominous task but… it surely isn't my first time feeling outside of my comfort zone.

And what was the matter with me around Clark lately? I often caught myself doing or saying or thinking things that shouldn't be the thoughts of a businessman towards his secretary. Certainly nothing condemnable but they made me feel uneasy and guilty just the same.

I had been trying to ignore it for some time now but, in retrospective, I had been snoozing up those alarms for longer than I cared to admit.

My mind was clouded and my abilities suppressed and no amount of distractions could take my mind off of it.

Soon Clark would be expecting me and so I finally geared myself to finish readying myself.

My tux had been dry cleaned a second time once we had landed- I didn't trust that it had survived the trip without acquiring a wrinkle or a stain. One simply didn't take that chance for an event of this magnitude.

Thankfully, it had arrived this morning, properly covered and sealed, and upon a detailed examination, I deemed it appropriate. I had purchased new cufflinks for this occasion- 1 carat Rosé Argyle Diamonds on each cufflink set in white gold- the only detail that might set me apart from the other dozens of black and white tuxedos this evening. I needed to show originality while being respectful to the classic look but also representative of my financial status without flaunting it.

I decided to forego my usual messy curls. I could get away with it at home most of the time but this was the single most important event of the year for many of the guests and it demanded the tidiness and sleekness of hair brushed back. It retained its waves but gave me a more professional look.

Many might consider all the thought I put into my appearance frivolous but one hair out of place can give the wrong impression to the wrong person and before you know it they are convinced you are a risk taker and immature and not fit to run the company they have worked their entire lives to build. This was not a time to be careless in any way or form.

Once I was fully dressed, and I had checked not to have missed shaving a single hair on my beard, I sprayed a moderate amount of L'eau Serge Lutens and took one last look in the mirror.

It'd be the first time I left to this gala without the usual confidence that came so naturally to me. Well, there was a first for everything. And these past few months seemed to be full of those.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

All my insecurities, all my reservations and all my thoughts of impending failure were out the door the moment Louisa Clark opened the door to her hotel room.

The silk of her pale pink dress radiated beauty and caressed her body softly as she turned around in a circle and asked me what I thought.

Her hair was styled wavy and brushed her bare shoulders as she stood there in expectancy of my reply.

She couldn't have possibly been this beautiful this whole time, could she?

However, I had to admit, it was somewhat unsettling to see her without the usual brightness and confusion of her fashion choices that I had to come to gradually grow fond of.

Her make-up looked understated while also polished and she had a pink champagne colored lipstick that obliged you to look at her smile.

She was still waiting for a response.

"You're going to knock them dead, Clark" I said once I swallowed the lump in my throat down.

"Hopefully not before they sign away their lucrative corporations" she said playfully with a movement of her eyebrows that attributed to the mocking tone of her words, then added a laugh for good measure.

She grabbed her room key from the small table close to the door and stepped out.

"Here, I can hold it for you" I said once I noticed her struggling to find where to put it. Once it was safely in the inside pocket of my jacket, I glanced her way out of the corner of my eye.

I could tell she was tense. I couldn't name what it was I saw but it was plainly being spoken by her whole body.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her as we waited for the lift to reach our floor.

She laughed nervously.

"Like the moment I walk in there, everyone will know I am not supposed to be among them and that I don't know which fork to use for what or how to pronounce anything in their wine list or... that I am going to forget everything once I am face to face with George Harrison and say something so stupid that will ruin everything…"

"Clark. Clark. Lou! Look at me" I said as I tried to get her to stop talking. She finally did and once her eyes were on mine, I could see just how unsettled she felt.

My hands found rest on the curve of her shoulders and I slightly bent my knees as well as crooked my neck some to look directly in her now lowered eyes.

"You are going to be fantastic tonight, I know it" I said with full honesty.

In truth, seeing her distress helped me put my own unfounded fears behind. I had her support in this and she was ready for it. And I had faced challenges before, and I had done it alone. Clark and I, we made a good team. If there was ever a time when I could do what Alfred was asking, it was now.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Everyone is staring" she said under her breath as we walked towards our table.

"No, they aren't, Clark. And if they are it's only… because you look stunning" I said without realizing the weight of my words. They had been dying to get out and managed to do so without my agreeing.

She looked at me strangely as if she didn't know how to receive those words. Why had I said that? I didn't need to confirm Miriam's worries by handing out weird compliments.

I managed to refrain from saying anything else in my defense which might make things worse and we arrived to our table in silence.

I introduced ourselves to the faces I didn't know and introduced Clark to everyone else as well. She was kind and sweet as she acknowledged every one of them even and especially the most elderly couple- Therese and Paul Markland- who both should have retired long ago but resisted to do so until completely unable to do so. I saw a tenderness in her eyes I hadn't noticed before but, in retrospect, had always been there.

Lonely Miriam and outsider Ken came to mind, the three of them sitting, eating lunch, standing out like a sore thumb in the office break room.

I felt the right side of my cheek pull back as a smile demanded to be shown. I looked down lest people think I was crazy for smiling at nothing at all.

Why were all these things suddenly coming to my attention after all this time? It must be the fact that we are under similar circumstances and away from home together.

The skiing trip I was to go on with the guys on Thursday next came to mind and settled me some. It was relieving to know I would be putting some distance between us to clear my head and think straight.

Dinner came and I saw Clark look to me as each course came, following my hand movements to the right utensil and then following.

Halfway through I had already managed to locate all the potential clients we had been discussing so much in the past few days.

Two were sitting at the same table which made things difficult. I didn't want to be heard by either one of them trying to buy their companies in case I needed to approach either one of them at their seats. It just wasn't good business.

"What's the matter?" Clark asked me under her breath as we ate the broiled lobster tails course.

"Horowitz and Lowden are sitting at the same table" I whispered back at her.

"Oh, that's a problem, isn't it?" she asked.

"It is. I'm sorry to change things on you Clark but I will need you to take up Ezra Lowden instead" I said apologetically.

"Oh God" she simply said as she pushed around the last lobster tail in her plate, visibly gulping.

"I'm sorry to spur this on you but I've already had contact with Gideon Horowitz and it's imperative I close the deal. And we can't just abandon Lowden. The rumors about his health sound more legitimate now I see him and if it is the case, he might be easier to buy than Harrison. Harrison is a sweet old man but by no means gullible. This might be the best way to go after all" I explained to her quietly so only we could hear.

I saw her nod with her eyes closed as she tried to regain her composure.

I hated seeing her like this. I was prompted to tell her I'd take care of it all somehow and not to worry about any of it. But I couldn't let sentimentalism get to me right now. This was too important.

"You can do this, Clark" I said after a moment. She nodded with an unconvincing smile that worried me.

We finished our dinners in respective silence; I had no doubt both of us were preparing for the change in plans and going over what we would need to do differently.

Once our plates were cleared, Bill and Melinda went up on the stage, grabbed the microphones and thanked everyone for their generosity and after some other formalities, announced the silent auction would now be opened.

Various wide doors to the left of us were opened and some attendees began to stand up and walk towards the rooms full of valuables donated for the event.

Looking around me to the grandness of the room and meticulous and, no doubt, expensive decorations, made me wonder if it wouldn't be more beneficial to simply donate the funds for this event to the respective charities. But I had learned long ago, this was more for self-advertising and image building than for the charities themselves.

I saw Ezra Lowden slowly and carefully get up from his chair and looked to Clark.

She nodded and stood up herself and began walking towards the silent auction. She looked delicate, refined, and confident. I swelled with pride at seeing her, chin up and heels clacking, about to suffocate her fears and realize her potential.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Gideon was being his well-known, usual jack-ass. From the emails we had exchanged, he had clearly led me to believe he was interested in selling to me.

But tonight he was flaunting he had other better offers and I needed to up my price if I even wanted a meeting.

If it hadn't been valued at thousands, I would have picked up spiked, cylinder shaped artwork in front of us and shoved it up his arse.

Thankfully, Clark seemed in casual conversation with Ezra Lowden and their faces showed promise.

I decided to brush my anger off and find the Foyets. From the recent reports I had received from my sources, their pharmaceutical company was in more trouble than before and they were actively looking to sell.

This was good and bad news. It meant they were more likely to sell for less and without as much persuasion needed but it also meant a riskier business venture for myself.

But with Gideon off the table, it needed to be done. I had been counting on his selling to me. The other three prospects were only to have options and choose one of them at the end of negotiations.

Not anymore.

They were nowhere near the auction, obviously too broke to be able to put a bid on anything.

I left the room to go back to the ballroom and within seconds found them standing in a corner, drinking from champagne flutes.

I took a deep breath and adjusted my jacket before strolling towards them with confidence. They would be easy prey.

Within fifteen minutes, I had broached the subject without difficulty. It was obviously in their minds and not difficult to bring up.

They seemed ashamed to talk about it.

Good.

In ten more minutes, I had been assured a meeting, first thing Monday morning, at their offices in Fort Lauderdale, not too far off.

Score.

I decided to walk around some more before approaching George Harrison to see how Lou was faring but after recurring the entire premises, I could find neither.

The night was young, I wasn't worried I wouldn't find Harrison later but where the bloody hell was Lou?

I shot her a short text that wouldn't give anyone any suspicions were they to see it by chance.

But after fifteen minutes of chatting to an old client- a retired old man now happily living in a mansion in South Beach, thanks to me- there was no reply from her.

That could either be very good or very bad.

She could be in deep conversation with Ezra Lowden or perhaps hyperventilating in the bathroom after being brutally rejected?

Sometimes these people could get somewhat rude and mean to be approached about business when they were at their leisure.

I decided to think the first and better option and take another round of the room, in search of Harrison.

But after ten more minutes, I was still unsuccessful.

How could I keep missing him? The man was above six feet tall, after all!

I went one more time in the auction rooms examining the different items and even putting low bids on some to appear interested. I wasn't trying to acquire any of these items but it looked good for your name to appear here and there.

The auction was closing in ten minutes and the music would start. I was really hoping to find this man before then. With the lights dimmed low and the orchestra playing, it was hard to do business.

The rooms were getting emptier and I began to walk out myself when, to my surprise, Gideon Horowitz of all people, touched my shoulder and signaled me to follow him.

The room was almost empty now and the doors would soon be closed and the last thing I wanted was to be told to leave.

I followed him uneasy to the end of the room and kept my eyes out for the remaining guests.

The moment I saw we'd be the last, I would leave. I wasn't in the mood to negotiate with a dishonest person anyways.

He took a look around and seeing there was no one within earshot, finally met my eyes and began to speak.

"Why would you approach me about the you-know-what in front of my dad, man!" he said under his breath.

Confusion was my initial reaction and embarrassment my second.

Had I done that?

"I don't recall seeing your father there" I explained.

"He was right beside me with his back to us!" he added.

"I do apologize but…"

"That doesn't matter. I _want_ to have that meeting. Can you do tomorrow morning?" he asked, interrupting me.

"Tomorrow?" I asked dumbfounded. I hadn't expected this.

"Yeah, I'll be in the office in the morning. Look, just tell me yes or no. They're about to kick us out of here" he added nervously.

"Yes, email me the details" I said quickly without much thought. This had certainly caught me off guard.

He slapped my back and with a nod, began to walk in the direction of the doors.

Well, that was unexpected and somewhat uncomfortable but… good?

So he was thinking of selling to me but didn't want his father to know? It was all very odd and I would need to put some thought before the meeting in what this all meant.

I knew he didn't want to look a failure again to his family but they would eventually find out if he sold it anyways. Something didn't add up. And it didn't help that he wanted to meet so soon.

I'd have to think about all this, perhaps talk about it with Lou, see what she thought, if I ever found her, that is.

Just then I saw her come in through the entrance door looking somewhat off. My worst fears were confirmed then.

Well, at least, we had meetings with the Foyets and Gideon. I would let her off the hook immediately. Perhaps I had wanted to think more of her capabilities than what was really there just to ease some of my own worry and lay it on her.

Bill was on the stage again and asking for everyone's attention before I could reach her.

"Tonight, we have a new addition to the usual events at our annual gala" he said into the microphone. "In the interest of gathering the most for our foundations, the first dance of the night you will have to pay for" he said with a smile. "So all the ladies, please come up here with me" he added.

Oh, no. Who had thought this was a good idea?

Sure, most men here were here with their wives and would likely bid for their first dances but surely not everyone.

This was very out of taste for people like Bill and Melinda.

But to my surprise, most of the faces I could see were receptive to the idea.

All the women, from the youngest daughter of Thomas Marciano- at sixteen or so, it was hard to tell with how much make-up she was wearing- to the widow of the late Buford White, went up to the stage and formed a crowded group.

I looked for Clark among the crowd and saw the skirt of her dress behind some women but being quite petite herself, the rest of her body and her face were hidden. I wanted to see if she was uneasy and signal to her whether she wanted me to bid on her or not but to no avail. I couldn't make any eye contact whatsoever.

Mostly everyone had been 'auctioned' when her turn came up after the tall woman she was hiding behind was called and 'sold'.

Her features were unreadable. I couldn't tell if she was afraid or if she was looking forward to the chance to dance with a stranger.

Bill asked for her name and then asked the bid to commence.

I was about to call out for her, when a voice all too well known to me beat me to it.

It was Tom Marciano Jr., the son of the Marciano who owned the dozens of high end Italian restaurants by the same name scattered all over the most famous cities in the world.

He had once been my personal torment as he had taken up my line of work around the same time as I and often took clients I had been coaxing for months right out of my hands.

Thankfully, his father had given him a position in his board of directors some two years into our careers and the nightmare that was Tom Marciano had been removed from my mind.

Until now.

Had he seen she was here with me and bid for her on purpose to antagonize me? It would be just like his character to do so.

I put my own bid for $1000 over his $2000 opening bid.

It went on that way a few more times as I contemplated letting him win. The bid was getting higher and higher after all.

But this was the last straw. I couldn't let him have her. And besides, he would certainly make Clark uncomfortable with his complex of superiority and lack of respect for women.

I saw him look at me with that insufferable sparkle in his eye as he raised the bid to $20,000.

Gasps were heard around us as the highest bid of the night- $16,500 for Meagan Fulkerson, the famous heiress to the Fulkerson empire and what you would call a modern southern belle, if southern belles slept around with everyone- was blown out of the water for a girl virtually known by nobody.

He was enjoying this way too much.

I needed to actually spend something this night anyways if I wanted to get my own invitation next year without having to hassle Jeff for it.

I called out $25,000 after which I saw him smile in satisfaction and step back into the crowd.

The bastard had simply wanted to me to spend the most amount of money for a dance with a girl I was already there with simply for his own satisfaction.

But it was worth it to beat him once more.

So I strolled towards the stage, picked Louisa Clark off the edge by her waist and set her down beside me and after nodding to the thanks from Bill, put her hand on my forearm and walked into the crowd of waiting couples for the dance with a shamelessly triumphant smile on my face as random cheers were directed at us.

 **.**

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 **A/N: And that's that for Chapter 17 folks! (: the rest of the night to be coming up next chapter. Let me know your thoughts! Thank you for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you everyone, for your continued support and, welcome new readers! I don't deserve you all! FYI the song in the chapter is Little Mix's "Secret Love Song Part 2" from the Me Before You soundtrack. If you haven't heard the song, please dedicate a few minutes and listen to it before you read this chapter, otherwise the scene loses some of its sentiment since the lyrics alone don't do justice to the song as a whole.**

 **Go listen to it! NOW!**

 **OK (: Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 18**

Once all the couples spread over the dance floor and the piano started playing, I began to wonder why I thought this was a good idea.

True, I had originally not wanted Lou to be embarrassed if no one bid on her but that wasn't a problem once she was bid for, before I even had the opportunity to put mine in. So why had I persisted?

I never even contemplated any other option at the moment.

A woman came up to the front of the stage with microphone in hand and began to sing in an absolutely angelical voice as all the couples began to sway with the soft music from the piano.

…

 _We keep behind closed doors_

 _Every time I see you, I die a little more_

 _Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls_

 _It'll never be enough_

 _As you drive me to my house_

 _I can't stop these silent tears from rolling down_

 _You and I both have to hide on the outside_

 _Where I can't be yours and you can't be mine_

…

Alright, these lyrics were making somewhat uncomfortable. I didn't know it was going to be one of those songs.

I took a peek at Clark a few inches below me and I had a hard time seeing my secretary. For some reason, the more I looked the less I saw my employee and the more I saw a beautiful girl with sparkling eyes and a teasing smile, and breasts that needed to be cupped back inside that dress, for god's sake. The necklace with the pearl pendant I bought for her weeks ago rested atop them tantalizing me.

I decided to look away and regain my composure by focusing my thoughts on the movements of the slow dance.

…

 _But I know this, we got a love that is homeless_

 _Why can't I hold you in the street?_

 _Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?_

…

Oh god, this woman's song couldn't get any worse. All this talk of kissing and love and dance floors and I'm bloody dancing with my _secretary_!

…

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours_

…

Okay, why did those words make my chest feel tight and compressed? I struggled to swallow a large lump forming in my throat. I swear, if I hadn't paid twenty-five grand for this, I'd sit down this instant.

…

 _Why can't I say that I'm in love?_

 _I wanna shout it from the rooftops_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours_

…

My eyes began to ache with the need to look down at Clark and see if she was just as uncomfortable as I was. I took a deep breath and looked.

I saw her eyelashes flutter as she kept her eyes from meeting mine but rather staring at my chest in a manner that looked quite unnatural and odd.

I wanted to whisper her name, make her look at me, but my mouth couldn't move.

And as the woman sang the next words, I found I couldn't look away either.

…

 _It's obvious you're meant for me_

 _Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly_

 _Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep_

 _But I'll never show it on my face_

…

I looked up and away again.

For some reason, images of our time together, Clark's and I- and by time together, I mean work- started flashing by.

Times that at the moment had seemed so casual but now, holding her so close, with this bloody song in my ears, seemed so different.

It had to be this bloody song.

…

 _But we know this, we got a love that is hopeless_

 _Why can't you hold me in the street?_

 _Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours_

 _Why can't I say that I'm in love?_

 _I wanna shout it from the rooftops_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours_

…

My body began acting without permission from my brain and as I saw it happen, my mind was unable to stop my arms from slowly bringing her closer to me and my cheek from touching the side of her hair and… she wasn't resisting it.

Breathing was getting harder and things were looking out of focus and far away as if they were disappearing and it was just us dancing so awfully close and this stupid song enveloping us.

…

 _I don't wanna live love this way_

 _I don't wanna hide us away_

 _I wonder if it ever will change_

…

Why was this happening? Why was this cheesy song appealing to my deepest feelings so much and making my heart feel enlarged, as if it couldn't fit inside my chest anymore? Since when did I get like this for dancing a slow love song?

Never, that's when.

And why was I still so inappropriately holding her this way?

I took a deep breath to steady myself but I might as well have kissed Clark square on the mouth for all the damn good it did.

…

 _I'm living for that day, someday_

 _When you hold me in the street_

 _And you kiss me on the dance floor_

 _I wish that we could be like that_

 _Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours_

…

The louder vocals of the woman singing sent alarms in my head that the song was reaching its end. What was going to happen when it was over and we were just standing there holding each other.

I made my body react, this couldn't be. I had a girlfriend and she had a boyfriend and we were boss and assistant and we were supposed to be bloody working right now!

My muscles fought back but I slowly brought us back to the space we had before, my nose no longer able to smell her hair, her cheek no longer on my chest.

…

 _Why can't you hold me in the street?_

 _Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours_

 _Why can't I say that I'm in love?_

 _I wanna shout it from the rooftops_

 _I wish that it could be like that_

 _Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours_

…

Because we just bloody can't, that's why…

I was answering the stupid song in my head… what the hell was wrong with me? Even though my extremities had obliged my orders, it did nothing to appease the tightness in my chest and the struggle to breath past the lump in my throat.

I wanted to look down again, see her face. What could Clark be thinking of me right now? How could I have let myself get so affected by a dance and a song?

I wasn't the kind of person who got like this… ever.

What was happening to me? What was she doing to me?

…

 _Why can't we be like that?_

 _Wish we could be… like that._

...

I let go slowly and without meeting her eyes, led us away from the dance floor.

I couldn't even think of the word 'dance floor' without getting uncomfortable now… great.

Once the conversations around us started back up and the lights came back on, the spell began to dissipate.

So we walked around trying to find a quiet place to talk away from others.

My brain started working again. I needed to find out where she'd been and what had happened with Ezra Lowden and let her know she was off the hook and didn't need to worry anymore. I had taken care of it. She didn't need to fret anymore. She could just relax and enjoy the rest of the night. She had worked so hard and I realized I may have pushed her too hard too fast.

"Where were you, Lou? I was looking for you everywhere" I asked once we were a safe space away from others and able to talk without being heard, far towards a corner and away from the light of the chandeliers hanging above the tables.

Wait, had I just called her 'Lou'? Since when did I do that? I always called her Clark. That's what I called her, not Lou. Get yourself together, man!

I needed to shake this off right now.

"I got us a meeting on Thursday" she said with a smile. "Two actually" she added.

"Wait, two?" I asked confused.

"I have so much to tell you, Will" she said excitedly.

"Very well. Tell me" I said expectantly. I was curious to hear about what had her so excited and also to hopefully distract my mind from these thoughts.

"You were right about Ezra Lowden's health. He shared with me that he had been in the hospital not too long ago due to a minor stroke and it had given him time to think. He had realized he needed to let go of his lifelong work if he wanted to spend the remaining years of his life in relative peace and with the people he loved and had neglected. He really liked what I had to say and he told me he was interested in passing it over but he wanted it to be to someone who would not ruin all he had worked for, after which I assured him we would only do good things for his company and afterwards, I would personally find a buyer who was passionate about the work to take it over. Will, he was so impressed, he called George Harrison over and that's when we stepped out of the ballroom and began walking outside to allow George to hear what I had to say since his hearing isn't what it used to be. Long story short, they both agreed to meet us to talk about the future of their companies" she finished her last sentence almost out of breath as she excitedly tried to get it all out.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Had she really bagged the two old men? I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to say.

I just looked at her and smiled, genuinely smiled.

She had done it.

She had really done it, and much more.

"Will you never cease to amaze me, Louisa Clark?" I asked her without thinking.

I saw her demeanor change and I could be seeing more than what was there but… was she… blushing?

I took my fist and softly hit her arm.

Why'd I do that?

She laughed… that was good. She laughed a hearty laugh that seemed to bring her back to her normal self.

I saw some people turn to us and look at her with quizzical looks but thankfully, she didn't notice and I didn't care. Her laugh was infectious and I was smiling like an idiot along with her.

"Clark, did we really pull this off?" I asked her joyously.

"How did it go with you?" she asked me, as if suddenly remembering I had also been working on my own end as well.

"Better than I expected… after some back-and-forth with Gideon, he said he wants to meet tomorrow, which is odd and we will need to talk more about it. And the Foyets will meet with us Monday morning. I know it isn't as thrilling as your success story but, you know, we got options now at least" I said, teasing her.

She looked at me with those big sparkling eyes again and her huge smile and… I didn't know what to say.

So I stared… like an idiot.

Then I remembered I have dignity and I'm Will Traynor and I don't _stare_ so I looked away.

I was behaving like a fool tonight. I would punch myself if I could.

"That's really great, Will" she said softly but honestly. "Honestly, I didn't think I could do what I did tonight and I thank you for believing in me and pushing me. I wouldn't have done it otherwise" she admitted with some apprehension.

"Good. So from now on you'll believe me when I tell you to do something?" I asked her teasingly.

"Not anything, Will Traynor. I've got my eye on you" she returned the jest.

Had she always been this funny?

Yes, I realized she always had been. And I was still smiling.

I needed a distraction.

I took a look around and realized, there was nothing else we needed to do.

I checked my watch and saw it was really early still. What were we supposed to do now?

Usually at this time I was still chasing people around and trying to get them to talk to me about meeting with selling in mind.

It was an oddly satisfying feeling how well we had both worked tonight and I realized neither one could have done it without the other.

That stupid song came to my head again- something the woman had said along the lines of 'every piece of us fits perfectly' and as silly as that song was, I couldn't deny that, in that aspect, it did apply to us perfectly.

What one of us didn't think of, the other one did. While I provided knowledge and experience, she always had a fresh look on things and new innovative ideas.

For example, how in the world had she gotten those two senile old men to tell her so much about themselves and their companies- details they had been keeping under wraps to keep people like us away- and somehow they told her all… I would need to remember to ask her what her secret was.

"Clark, I hate to do this to you and, you can say no, but would you object to meeting tonight after the gala? I would like to run by you the interactions I had with Gideon. Something is off and we need to figure out what is going on with that man and if we should be apprehensive about this buy now that we have more options" I explained to her.

"That is fine" she said simply and right away.

"Thank you. Did you get a chance to prepare the rough drafts for the proposals? We might need to work on Gideon's tonight. I wasn't expecting him to want to meet me tomorrow and I can't very well show up empty handed".

"Wait, did you say tomorrow?" she asked as if she had just realized it. "Tomorrow is Saturday… how is he going to get his board of directors in for a meeting so quickly and on a weekend?" she asked.

"He owns more than 50%. He can technically sell those shares at any moment without having to consult anybody. And if we buy them, we control the company" I explained.

She pondered on this for a few seconds before she spoke again.

"Will, I hope I'm not asking a stupid question but, how is it that in the span of weeks, we turn a company around and raise its value so much while these people who work on it every day can't do that?" she asked. "Why can't they do what we do?" she added.

"It's quite simple. We pour every cent that the companies profit right back into it. These companies make these people a lot of money. The owners just don't want to give it back. They have mansions and jets to pay for and expensive parties to hold and images that they need to hold up. While the lowly men like me… I make the profit when I resell it for millions more after I have made it healthy again. These men, they extract every shilling out of their companies and expect for them to remain strong by putting only the minimum back into it. They want to become richer but are starving their own income makers in the process. So you see, it is quite simple, if they chose to do it" I finished explaining and looked at her.

She looked immersed in my words and like she'd actually been listening to my long and winded explanation.

Any other assistants I had tried to impart this kind of knowledge to had been too bored to pay attention and so I had stopped even trying, settling for the best they could do.

But Clark, she _wanted_ to be good at her job. She wanted to know it all and understand the why's and how's of the profession.

And it was baffling.

I hadn't ever met someone like her and she kept reminding me every day.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

A little while later, we decided to make our exit to get to work. After all, there was only so much fun to be had at these things and there wasn't a whole lot of it at this one.

We also needed to figure out our approach to imprint . com and figure out what was the catch, on top of finishing the proposal for it.

Everything about the man had reeked of deception and was shrouded in a bad feeling I couldn't shake.

And as promising as his company was of the most success, I always listened to my hunches. They were hardly ever wrong and I often regretted it when I ignored them.

"What did we miss?" Clark asked me as we walked back to my hotel room after I had disclosed the interactions with the man fully. "We have researched this company thoroughly and we didn't really come across anything that explains his secretiveness" she added.

"I don't know…" I admitted. "But we need to go in tomorrow with our ears open. We won't accept any deal unless it feels right".

"How will we know?" she asked.

"We need to go over everything we know about the man and the website's history. We may have overlooked something, with the extra work we've had. And if we can't feel good about this, we walk out. We still have the Foyets, Harrison and Lowden on the table. And we only need to come back with two" I reminded her.

She nodded thoughtfully as I slid the card in and opened the door.

A bit of the feeling I had experienced earlier came back… something about coming back with her to my hotel room late at night after a party just seemed too intimate.

But we needed to work.

I made us some tea as she set up our laptops and paper work and I couldn't help watching her for a few seconds while she didn't notice.

Something had changed… something had been changing and it unsettled me immensely.

It was a good thing I would be putting distance between us in a few days when I went on my trip to Switzerland.

I was leaving Thursday.

Thursday.

That's when it dawned on me.

That's when she had set up her meetings with Harrison and Lowden.

I should have mentioned this to her earlier.

I didn't think it would affect us. It was only supposed to be a few days.

How could I tell her I was leaving her to deal with the two elderly men while I went off with my friends?

I comforted myself with the thought that if we bought the Foyets' pharmaceutical company and imprint . com then we wouldn't need to meet with them at all.

We couldn't buy all four companies even if we wanted to.

Why worry her and upset her when it might not even matter?

I brought our two cups of steaming tea and set one in front of her. After watching her response to its taste, I knew her reaction had been similar to mine.

The Americans and us had different ideas when it came to tea, certainly.

"I meant to ask you, how did you get the two old men to tell you all this?" I asked her as I sat by her.

"I don't know. Ezra reminded me some of Granddad" she said with a small smile and paused, then looked down as if remembering. "He had a stroke too, except he wasn't so lucky in his recovery as Lowden. I couldn't help but feeling for him and I think it's what made him trust me" she said.

I realized that she had been compassionate. It wasn't a good quality to have in this field and so I avoided it at all costs.

I needed to win and I needed to do it every time. There was no room for compassion.

Was that what I was missing? I had always thought her so confined in her small views and lacking in experience with the world in general that I never stopped to consider that perhaps, I wasn't all that I fancied myself to be.

Would I have been successful if I had set out to do what she accomplished tonight?

I wasn't so confident that I could have.

It was uncomfortably humbling to think it, but maybe there _were_ some things I could learn from Clark as well.

"I see" I nodded. "I am glad to hear it. Not that your grandfather had a stroke but rather that that experience helped you understand Lowden and gain his trust" I said, still thinking of what she had said. "So if you had secured the meetings, why did you look upset when I saw you before the dance auction?" I asked, remembering the way she was holding her torso and looking down as she walked.

"Oh, that was nothing" she replied uncomfortably.

"What was it, Clark?" I asked, turning to look her straight on, not convinced with her answer.

She seemed to be contemplating what to say. Her eyebrows were pressed together in contemplation and she uncharacteristically bit her lower lip. I rather hoped she'd tell me what had bothered her so.

"I don't dress this way anymore" she said looking down at her small dress and thin straps. "Men stare and… I don't enjoy it" she said uncomfortably, not meeting my eyes.

I hadn't been expecting that answer. Most girls wanted to be looked at and admired and did their best to get the attention of men.

I sensed her discomfort with the subject and realized that there might be more to her bright and over-the-top style than just trying to be obnoxious to the eye and I felt, once again this night, small- for having judged her.

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to know more but didn't want to pry information that she didn't want to share.

Just then she stood up and excused herself by going to her room to get the rough draft copy of the proposal for imprint . com.

And once again I found myself lost, not knowing what to do with the way she left me feeling.

.

.

.

 **A/N: And that's it my loves! Lou's POV next chapter which will take off right where this one left off. Thank you all for reading this story, I appreciate you guys so much! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter (:**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello, everyone! Once again, thank you to all who read this story and thank you to all the Guest reviewers to whom I can't reply. Your words inspire me just as much!**

 **Today I wanted to address a concern that was pointed out to me and I thought might be on others' minds as well. With this story, I do not seek to romanticize cheating. I, myself, am happily married and would wish for infidelity to occur to no one and would never encourage it, having suffered from it myself in past relationships and knowing there is nothing romantic about it, it is just hurtful.**

 **However, as much as I love Lou and Will, they are flawed characters and will make mistakes as they continue to learn and develop. All I can ask is for you guys to trust me and I hope the story can be pleasant to everyone.**

 **We are roughly 2/3 finished with this story, more or less, but they still have ways to go before things can be right. I hope you all stick with me through the rough patches.**

 **To anyone still reading this note, thank you for your attention! On to the chapter!**

 **Chapter 19**

How had he noticed?

And why did I say that?

I had said too much… _I don't dress this way anymore…_

I let my back slide down the closed door of my hotel room as my knees became weaker. The looks some of the men gave me tonight began coming back and it terrified me. Soon their faces were morphing into the faces of the ones who…

I let my body completely crash on the floor. My eyelids closed in a futile attempt to make the sudden horrid images go away but it just made the tears pooling in my eyes spill over, making a path down my cheeks and finally landing on the top of my pushed up breasts that just wouldn't stay inside the small dress no matter how much I tried.

I needed to get ahold of myself. I couldn't let this affect me this way, not right now.

I wiped my face and took a steadying breath.

Will would be waiting for me to arrive with the proposal any moment and he had been so observant lately that I didn't doubt he'd notice a change in me and demand an explanation, an honest one, and I was not willing to give it.

So I went to my suitcase and pulled out the old pyjamas I had gotten from my late grandmother a few months before she passed away. They were old and worn out but I needed the comfort they provided. And Will could think what he wanted.

Once I was in them, the soft material covering my body, I let a shaky breath out. It was like magic, the way they could take away my nightmares.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I might as well if I was going to show up in dressed like this. I put my hair up in a bun and with the proposal in hand, I went to Will's door and knocked.

"Are we having a sleep over?" he asked with a smile, somehow undoing completely the previous feelings I had been experiencing.

"I just thought I could get ready for bed… I was uncomfortable in the dress and the make-up" I explained.

"I'm just sorry I didn't think of it myself" he said as he motioned towards his fancy black suit. Somehow I doubted it was as uncomfortable as my gala attire but said nothing.

I was glad he hadn't asked anymore, even though I could see a knowing look cross his face when I tried to explain the change of clothes. He knew that wasn't the whole story. And I silently thanked him for not asking any more questions.

I was fine with him knowing I wasn't being completely honest.

He seemed to understand my reserve.

And that was more than I would have ever thought possible from Will Traynor.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

My nervous fingers tapped incessantly on the surface of the portfolio I was holding tightly against my chest. The sound echoed down the empty corridor, along with the tedious ticking of an overly-sophisticated clock on the white wall across from my chair.

It read 10:15. Fifteen whole minutes since I should have been called.

Why hadn't I been called yet? Had the secretary really told them I was here? Or could she have forgotten?

What if they were waiting on me while I was waiting on them? They would think me incredibly rude and unprofessional to keep them waiting.

Tardiness could blow the whole deal. But I was too afraid to simply burst into the meeting room. Perhaps they were simply not ready for me and the intrusion could be worse.

Why wasn't Will here with me? Why did he have to leave me alone with this?

How could he do this to me?

I had spent the last two days in a state of complete agony as I tried to prepare for this meeting and the one later this afternoon.

How had Will simply jumped into this job when he was first hired? How had he just known what to do and how to do it and been successful at it?

I really needed to get this right.

I simply could not ruin this deal.

The dating website had been too risky. Gideon had indeed tried to sell his shares behind the others' backs and while Will explained that it was fully within his legal right to do so, it did not bode well for us. For one, the other board members would not be happy at all and may not welcome us if we were introduced into their company without their knowing and they could impede us on every step of the way when we tried to make changes. It also spoke volumes as to the real state of the company. An honest man would never feel he had to sell his shares in secret if there wasn't something he did not want known before the sale was final.

It took a lot of courage on behalf of Will, but he decided to walk away. Better to miss out on a good opportunity than take a dangerous risk that had more chances of ruining you than delivering.

I had felt sorry for him, as he had worked really hard on the hopes of getting imprint . com but in the end, I trusted his judgement.

And Monday had gone terribly wrong also. The Foyets, though near financial and social ruin, would not budge on their unreasonable price. They were wanting to sell but refused to offer a respectful deal and so we walked away as well.

The rest of that day, Will had been very quiet, just as he had been since the gala.

The day of the gala itself however, he had seemed his usual self and even more playful and charming than usual.

We had stayed up late that night working and, to my shame the next morning, I had fallen asleep on his sofa.

When I had woken up, I noticed I wasn't in the same room as the day before, even if it was eerily familiar.

Then I had seen him asleep, across from me, on the lounge chair, his lap graced by the open laptop.

His hair was adorably ruffled, and his features had a peace that made him look years younger.

The soft rising and falling of his chest drew my eyes to the open buttons of his shirt, and I realized I had been staring.

It was wrong to look at my boss that way when he had a girlfriend. It was wrong to get butterflies in my stomach for a man who wasn't Patrick.

Patrick… he had not called me since Thursday night. An entire week had gone by, what could he still need to think about?

Several times I thought of ignoring his request to wait for his call and contacting him myself but I held back. I feared making things worse by showing the guilt I felt.

I no longer could justify myself that Patrick had no reason to be upset. He may not know it but he did.

The dance at the gala had shown it to me clearly. Why else did I become so flustered at dancing with Will? Why did my skin catch fire where he touched? Why did the smell of his perfume make my head spin? Why did my body seem to fit just right when he had held me close?

He had held me so close… why had he done that? Had he been taking advantage of me?

Doubts had been assaulting me since that day. I could not get out of my head the warning words Miriam had given me and Ken's comment on the short span of time women remained in his employment.

I knew he couldn't be having the same feelings towards me that I could no longer deny I was harboring.

Not when he had Alicia.

So why had he done it? My brain had arrived at the conclusion that he may have let himself get caught up in the moment or he simply danced slow songs that way.

But after all these days, my brain was a muddled mess and I couldn't afford to let my thinking efforts go towards that.

I had a job to do.

Will had let me know Monday afternoon that he wouldn't be able to accompany me on Thursday due to a previously arranged trip but that he trusted me completely and expected me to do better without him anyways, based on the fact that I had arranged the meetings myself.

I understood what he meant, even if I disagreed with his confidence in me. And I understood him to be my boss- he didn't need to tell me what he did with his time or when he would come or go. He told me what I needed to do and to do it and I needed to follow directions.

But I really, really wished he were here all the same.

"Miss Clark? The board is ready for you".

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The grey-haired men whose names I had already forgotten with my worry and uneasiness, looked at me with furrowed eyebrows and doubtful looks as I stood there in expectancy of their response.

"How old are you, Miss…?" one of them towards the back asked.

"Clark. Louisa Clark" I said with a wide smile, refusing to let them see what effect they were having on me. "While I am not opposed to sharing that information, I would withhold it till I receive an answer as I doubt it can have any relevance at the moment" I said respectfully, then gulped.

Had that been disrespectful to say? Would Will have said that?

He said these retiring men often tended to doubt him based on his younger looks so perhaps it wouldn't be wise to let them know I was so early in my twenties.

"I'm sorry, I have known Alfred for some time now and I know most of his employees and while he has quite repertory of success, he had never mentioned you among his best" he said unashamed.

"I'm afraid he keeps me for special clients. I'm sort of his secret weapon" I said with a small smile and a wink and I saw Ezra chuckle along with some of the other men.

I breathed in relief. Perhaps this wasn't all bad.

"Stop bullying the girl, Hanson" Ezra said. "The offer is good, the girl obviously knows what she is doing and she has the backing of a reputable company. We have gone over this deal ourselves in the past days and we had discussed our answer" he added more firmly.

The man named Hanson dropped the pen he was holding on the table and looked away from me resigned.

I looked pleasantly at all the men and smiled. If I didn't, I may burst into tears from the anticipation.

"It seems I am overruled" he said and held his hand out to me.

"Yes!" I said with a small hop in my place. "I'm sorry!" I said right after. Some of the men around the table laughed and began standing up to shake my hand.

I felt my eyes begin watering and my smile threatened to split my cheeks as I shook each man's hand.

When Ezra approached with a smile on his face, I felt my heart soar in thankfulness. This deal would not have happened without his support, his influence having the most effect on the others- being the man who built the company from scratch and the main owner of the shares.

I hugged him against my better judgement and prayed it would have no negative repercussions on the almost done deal.

I couldn't wait to tell Will!

But I still had another board of elderly men to sway. I couldn't quite do my victory dance just yet.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"How did it go, Clark?" he asked on the other side of the line.

I was so ecstatic that I wanted to tease him a little bit.

"Oh, you know… it went… alright" I said, trying to sound serious, as I laid back comfortably in the back of the cab taking me back to the hotel.

"Clark…" he said menacingly.

"You see, what happened was…"

"Clark, you need to answer me straight up and you need to do it now" he said, his voice carrying a roughness I hadn't ever heard him use towards me.

Something caught in my throat as I realized he wasn't kidding.

"They said yes. They both sold for what we asked" I said, all joy gone from my voice.

After some silence, I heard him sigh loudly on the other end.

"Good" he said. "We'll… celebrate when I am back" he added more gently now.

"There is no need. What would you like me to start working on in the mean time?" I asked, all-businesslike.

"Take tomorrow off… you deserve it. I'll be back Sunday around noon. Be prepared to leave to New York the next day. I have some things to settle with the other board members of Morgan Accounting and it needs to be done in person, along with meeting with a possible future buyer for the company" he explained.

"Of course, I'll have things ready" I said, trying to cover the hurt with short words, my mind still going over his rough manner earlier.

"Lou… I am sorry" he said sounding much more vulnerable. "Meet me at MIA on Sunday. You did today something no secretary of mine has ever done, not even come close to doing. I want… to celebrate this with you. Please, allow me" he added gently.

"It's alright, Will" I said relieved at his change of tone and flattered at being the object of a rare Traynor apology. "I just did my job" I assured him. I didn't know what it was but something had to have gone awfully wrong on his trip to make him have reacted that way… but what? He obviously realized his mistake right away and admitted it humbly, but his odd reaction nagged at me.

"No, you did more than your job, and you were amazing… We'll visit some shops before dinner. You'll need a new dress for the dinner with the possible buyer in New York" he said.

I couldn't help the butterflies in my stomach at his praise and a smile began to form on my lips.

"As you say, boss" I said, trying not let my silly giddiness come across my voice.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"How was your trip, boss?" I asked Will as he walked to me, luggage in hand.

He looked at me with one raised eyebrow. He took a moment to answer.

"It was… it could have gone better" he said and offered no more.

"I'm sorry to hear that" I said genuinely sorry that whatever had taken him away hadn't gone well.

"Don't be" he said looking at his feet as we walked side by side trying to avoid running into the large crowd of travelers leaving and arriving.

My curiosity begged to pry for more information but I refrained. It was none of my business and he obviously didn't want to share it.

He had done the same for me on Friday night after I alluded to the reason I dress different and I wanted to extend him the same courtesy.

The large airport took some time to get out of but eventually, we were sitting in a cab and on our way to the hotel so Will could drop off his baggage and we could go purchase the clothes I needed for New York.

Once again, I wanted to ask him more of his trip but held myself back. If he wanted to talk about it, he would have shared more when I had asked him previously.

"So would you like to hear about the meetings?" I asked instead.

He looked to me with a smile and assented.

I went into detail as I recalled all I could of every impertinent question directed at me and every answer I gave, as well as every joyous moment, and the satisfaction of seeing each and every one of them sign the excess of paperwork needed to transfer ownership.

I saw him listen to every word and I could swear I saw pride grace his features along with his best smile.

"So what do you think? Not too shabby, eh?" I asked with mock vanity.

"I was right after all, then" he said in reply.

"Well, yes, you were as it turns out but you also almost gave me a heart attack so I would suggest this be the last time you make me do this if you don't want to find yourself looking for another assistant. And I guarantee, I am one of a kind. You'll surely never recover" I said teasingly.

I looked to him in expectancy of a response but all I got was a small smile that seemed glued to his lips and his eyes never leaving my face.

"Don't smile at me like that" I said becoming self-conscious. I could feel the heat rise up to my face and looked down to hide it.

"Why not?" he asked, still smiling.

"Because I don't know what it means" I said meeting his eyes for a second and looking away again.

He didn't answer right away but when he did, I didn't know what to reply.

"I am happy to see you back in your own clothes" he said, his eyes recovering the length of my body.

I looked down and saw my butterfly blouse, my green skirt, and yellow tights with one of my patterned orange shoes. I touched my hair to feel my butterfly hairpin in place on the braid going around my head.

Was he poking fun at me? Hardly anyone at all had anything nice to say about my clothes, not that I cared but, suddenly I felt even more conscious under his piercing gaze.

I ventured a look to ascertain his meaning but was met with a look I couldn't discern.

"Thank you" I said once I had given up on discovering what was behind his odd compliment, if indeed it was one.

The drive to the hotel was uncharacteristically and uncomfortably quiet. My mind was still trying to make out what his puzzling behavior as of late meant and how mine should be.

As much as I had come to care for Will, I cared so much about this job. I enjoyed it and I was good at it. It made me feel accomplished and as if, for once, I could be a daughter my parents could be proud of and not just paycheck they needed.

I did not want to jeopardize it by letting my silly fancies get in the way. So what if his presence elated me and I looked forward to our conversations? I needed to reign those feelings in. They weren't right. I was with Patrick and we were in a fight, on top of it all.

Will and I had unequivocally developed into more than a merely professional relationship, however. Even if mine had escalated into more, I saw him as a good friend, and I believed him to see me as one as well, and I was thankful to him for much.

And that was the way I needed to behave myself.

Surely this… foolish crush would pass and I would be grateful one day that I didn't act on it.

As soon as I got back to London, I would book a train ticket home on the first weekend available and I would make things right with Patrick.

I needed to make things right again.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

As we walked towards the busy shopping center, I felt us falling back to our usual way.

He tells me about the possible buyer we will meet in New York and how he came about finding him, what we will need to discuss with him and how to approach it.

I listen intently to him and so I don't notice it when we walk into the first store until he stops in his tracks and looks around us.

"Anything catch your eye?" he asks.

I took a look around and knew for certain he could not be serious. All around us were dresses in bright colours and gorgeous combinations that made me want to cry for joy.

 _Everything_ caught my eye. Where were we?

"You can't be serious, Will" I said still amazed.

"Why ever not?" he asked with a smile.

"I mean, everything looks wonderful but… it isn't what Will Traynor's secretary wears" I said stating the obvious. I knew most people found my taste in clothes odd and would not consider it professional.

"It is now" he said calmly.

"We _are_ shopping for the New York dinner, aren't we?" I asked, still not believing this.

"Yes" he answered.

I didn't dare move an inch.

What did he mean? Was he seriously willing to show up to a meeting for a man who would we were hoping would wait around and buy Morgan Accounting …with me dressed to my taste?

"Do you not like the clothes here?" he asked looking doubtful now.

"Oh, no! I do! I _really_ like them!" I said no longer able to contain my smile and my excitement.

"Well, go on, then!" he said and motioned me to go forward.

I jumped and squealed before taking off into the dress section in search for a dress to buy.

I left Will sitting by the fitting room waiting for me and I tried to choose with him in mind. He was trying to do something kind by letting me choose something of my liking so I wanted to show him appreciation by trying to choose something professional in his eyes also.

At the end, three dresses made the cut and I made my way towards him to try them on.

"I'm ready" I said with wide smile, holding up the dresses.

"Alright, let's see them on you" he said.

The first was an emerald dress with a high neck halter top and a tea length A-line skirt. The second I tried on had a lace off-the-shoulder top with a red flare skirt. And the third was a strapless, empire waist white tulle dress with 3-dimensional blue flowers going from the top to past my waist as they became less scarce in number. And I had added a blue wrap to cover the bare shoulders even though the dress for once covered my boobs entirely.

I honestly didn't care which of the three he liked best. I felt comfortable in all of them and pretty. Unlike the pink dress from the gala, all three were covering what most men would stare at and neither one was so fitting that it left naught to the imagination.

"So what's the verdict?" I asked as I stepped out in the third one.

I saw his eyes grow wide and his lips slightly part and I knew he liked this one best.

"It's beautiful, Clark" he said after a few seconds.

"Shawl and all?" I asked.

"Shawl and all" he assured me.

I looked down at the long fabric that went past my feet and was looking more hazardous with every step I took.

"It's too long" I said disappointed.

"We can fix that" he said as he looked it up and down again as he motioned for a store assistant to approach. "Can we get that shortened?" he asked the woman. "By tonight?" he added.

"Our seamstress is here today but she has a bunch of dresses ahead of this one" said the young woman with the name tag 'Barbara' on her chest.

I saw Will stand up and come close to the girl with that air he always gave other men when he was about to close a deal.

"Barbara, I appreciate the situation you have here but…" he said and grabbed her elbow gently as he began to whisper and lead her away from me.

Was he really flirting his way into getting my dress done today? I couldn't help being a little disappointed.

After a few minutes of what I could only interpret as sweet talk, he came back and asked me to get undressed.

I gulped at the way he sounded telling me that and assumed he had persuaded her to work something out.

Once we had left the store while the dress was being fixed, I had to ask how he managed it.

He looked over at me with one eyebrow raised and a teasing smile and offered no reply.

"Really? You won't tell me? I won't steal your technique" I said rolling my eyes playfully.

"I told her I planned to take you to special dinner tonight and afterwards proposing to you on a yacht as we looked over the city and I wanted you to feel absolutely beautiful on the most special night of your life and it was imperative that everything was perfect and it couldn't be perfect without that dress and… that did it" he said smugly.

My eyelashes fluttered and I felt the air in my lungs escape as I tried to take it all in.

"You, sir, are one cold-blooded liar" I said, mouth agape, in disbelief that he had fabricated such story for a dress.

"You wanted the dress, didn't you?" he asked.

"Well, yes" I admitted, still not convinced it was worth all that.

"And I wanted you to have it" he added, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

.

.

.

 **A/N: I hope the chapter is to your liking, everyone. I am sorry if it isn't. These last couple of days have been very trying personally and I fear I am not myself and that it could have affected the story. I thought of skipping this week as far as updating but realized it isn't your fault and I shouldn't let it affect it. Thank you in advance for your understanding and feel free to share your thoughts- negative or positive- as always, and thank you for reading!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you everyone, for all your well wishes. Though the personal situation is still unresolved, you guys' support and lovely words of encouragement certainly raised my spirits and made me take a more positive outlook on things. I appreciate you all so much, thank you!**

 **Chapter 20**

How had things taken such a turn? Everything had seemed so right Friday night. I still remember walking back to my room with Lou and feeling elated at the turn of events that had taken place that night.

Sure, I had other confusing feelings that were trying to overpower the success but those have been successfully pushed aside.

When I woke up the next morning and saw her gathering her things, two different reactions followed. My mind searched to remember the events of the night before- fearing whilst simultaneously hoping that something had happened.

So it had to have been more than the song.

It didn't matter. We had more pressing issues. We were going to be late to the meeting with Gideon if we didn't hurry. So I pushed to the back of mind the thoughts that demanded to be sorted out at the moment. I was honestly too afraid to even try to sort them out.

There was no logic to them. And I was used to logic. I was comfortable with logic and good at it.

I was with Alicia because she was beautiful and was a better girlfriend than my past ones. I did this job because I excelled at it. I was friends with Rupert because we enjoyed the same activities. I lived in London because I had no desire to stay in my dead-end town. My body was reacting differently to Clark's presence because…

…Blank.

There was no logic in it.

She wasn't beautiful. She didn't have long legs and glossy blonde hair. She wasn't sophisticated and highly educated. She wasn't quiet and complaisant.

There was nothing to make her stand out and cause the effect she was having in me. It made no sense and I wasn't going to spend any more time dwelling on a subject which could not be rational.

So I deduced that regardless of whatever happened with Gideon Horowitz or The Foyets, I was going to go on the skiing trip. I needed to clear my head obviously, and remove myself from the situation. Once I was away and could look at it objectively, I would realize the idiocy of my own feelings and be able to discard them once and for all.

It had been some days since I last saw Alicia and Lou was my constant companion. And we were in an exotic and sexy city full of young people hooking up. It was obviously affecting me. My body was betraying me and interpreting the situation wrongly.

Switzerland was what I needed- for my own good and Clark's. It wouldn't do for me to continue giving her reasons to reconsider her friend's accusations towards me.

Buying her a necklace, and embracing her after giving it to her. Holding her so unnecessarily close to my own body when we danced… even I had to admit, I wasn't making a good case for himself.

But Clark knew better, right? Surely she wouldn't be imagining anything improper from me. She knew where we stood. She herself had a boyfriend, apparently. And she knew I was with someone, too. And my position as her superior further drove the point that none of my actions could be misinterpreted.

However, my friends were expecting me and she had the situation under control. She had really bloomed into more than a secretary this week. And by that, I mean, in her job, of course. Setting those meetings with the two old men in one night without having met them before? Brilliant work.

In fact, I might spoil it if I try to take over. They obviously liked her and what she had to say and who's not to say they wouldn't appreciate me coming in last minute and assuming command?

It was decided.

I was going to Switzerland and clearing my head and allowing her the space to finish what she had started.

0-0-0-0-0-0

This trip was not going as planned.

Was Switzerland losing its adventure factor? Perhaps I had come too many times and I needed to give it a break.

Rupert was behaving unsupportably and I wasn't so close to Colin and Logan as he was. This was more Rupert's trip and so he had invited his favorite people, not mine.

He had seem excited for it the last time I saw him, even if a little too much. But now he was hardly talking to me and getting upset at any little inconvenience. Honestly, he was acting like a girl. And there was no talking to him about it.

It was our last night here, and honestly, I could go back to sunny Miami as of this moment.

We were going to a nearby pub and grabbing a few beers. But I was getting tired of Colin and Logan's company and Rupert wasn't soothing things over.

Thankfully, the skiing had been great.

Nothing like the adrenaline running through my veins to help me get back to my old self.

That was, until Clark called me, a few days ago.

I had hardly thought of her that day and I had finally managed to put her completely from my mind when my screen lit up with her face.

It was the picture I had taken of her on her interview date- the one I had sent to Alicia.

She had that horrendous neon scarf and pink gloves… what was she thinking wearing that to an interview? But the brightest thing in the whole damn picture was her teeth, all out for everyone to show thanks to the excessively large smile on her face.

We had been getting breakfast when the call had come in.

"What the hell, man?" Colin laughed ridiculously. "Did your girl send a picture of her tits?" he added as he continued to snort, forcefully confirming how much of an idiot he was.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, my anger rising at his implication.

"You look like a bloody idiot staring at your phone with that stupid smile" he said leaning back in his chair and looking to his side to Logan and Rupert to see if they would join him in his mocking.

I could feel my face contort in irritation and contemplated letting the call go to voicemail and punch that stupid grin off his face.

But then I remembered Lou was probably out of her meetings by now and would have important news- whether good or bad.

So I took a deep breath and pushed the green button to answer, pushing my chair back with extra strength as I did so.

The loud noise drew some eyes to me but I didn't care.

I ignored their looks as I walked away.

"How did it go, Clark?" I asked, trying not to show the anger in my voice.

"Oh, you know… it went alright…" I heard her playful voice over the phone. Hearing it was sending me right back onto that bloody dancefloor and all the progress I'd made flew out the window, which only increased my already existing frustration.

"Clark…" I replied, hoping it would be enough to let her know I wasn't in the mood to play around. How could she do that? How dare she make me look like an idiot in front of the guys?

And how dare she undo all my hard work these past days with only her voice?

In danger of falling for her playfulness and joining her in her teasing, I began walking towards the exit of the establishment.

I needed to mask my weakness, if only with anger.

"You see, what happened was…" she began but I interrupted.

I was still in hearing range of the guys and if they could hear her talking to me that way, I would never hear the end of it, especially since I _apparently_ was smiling at her contact picture?

 _What the hell, Will?_

"Clark, you need to answer me straight up and you need to do it right now" I said, more roughly than I meant to. I just wanted her to stop provoking me and to make sure I wasn't asked any questions about my own tone when I sat back down.

I heard silence on the other end and then a barely audible shaky breath. I had gone too far. She didn't know I was struggling with myself in regards to her and that I was frustrated at myself for my evident failure.

But that was no excuse to treat her so… she didn't deserve it.

"They said yes, they both sold for what we asked" she finally replied, all cheer gone from her voice. I had done that. The euphoria I should have felt at the news was completely overshadowed by guilt at my own stupid choices.

I pushed the front door open and stepped into the cold wind, holding my left arm across my stomach, both from the cold and the desire to refrain my insides from twisting with the growing guilt.

"Good" I replied, squeezing the bridge of my nose as I shut my eyes, trying to gather myself into the decent person she deserved me to be. "We'll… celebrate when I am back" I added. I needed to make things right again. A celebratory dinner somehow seemed shallow and not enough, however.

I had left her alone to deal with the pressure of two decisive meetings that could determine both of our futures, because I couldn't restrain myself no longer in her company and yet, she had still managed to rise above it and conquer.

That was simply Clark.

"There is no need. What would you like me to start working on in the meantime?" she asked drily.

"Take tomorrow off… you deserve it" I said, hoping she could hear how I much I meant it. "I'll be back Sunday around noon. Be prepared to leave to New York the next day. I have some things to settle with the other board members of Morgan Accounting and it needs to be done in person, along with a meeting with a possible future buyer for the company" I added.

"Of, course. I'll have things ready" she replied quickly and emotionless. I must have really shaken her to take the chatty out her.

"Lou…" the name slipped from my lips once again with more tenderness than it should have. Thank god, there was no one within hearing shot. "I am sorry" I said slowly to make sure the words registered with her. I gave myself free reign to be gentle with her. I mentally told my brain to shut it, since it insisted I continue the rough treatment I would have given anyone in the same position. But I couldn't seem to care about my pride right now. Perhaps, I would as soon as I hung up the phone but I couldn't deny the feeling that told me that what I was doing was right. I wanted to see her. "Meet me at MIA on Sunday. You did today something no secretary of mine has ever done, not even come close to doing." I knew I was praising her too much. But I couldn't stop myself. Thinking about what she had accomplished made me realize the largeness of the feat and how lightly I had dropped it at her feet and expected her to complete it. "I want to celebrate this with you… please, allow me". I sounded gay even to my own ears.

"It's alright, Will. I just did my job" she said with a little lightness back in her tone, confirming that I had said the right things to patch things up. But why was she undermining the great thing she had done? I would have been proud, had I been in her shoes, and been bragging about it for as long as anyone would hear me. But I found I admired her more for not boasting than if she had.

"No, you did more than your job, and you were amazing…" I corrected her. Alright, maybe I was going a little overboard. But it was like I had opened the gates to the flood and I just couldn't close them now that the water was overflowing. "We'll visit some shops before dinner. You'll need a new dress for the dinner with the possible buyer in New York" I told her.

"As you say, boss" she said, her teasing tone surfacing and washing away my guilt.

We said our good byes and I clicked 'end' on the call.

I stood there, frozen, and not due to the cold.

What was I doing? What is the matter with me? I ran my hand through my hair with frustration, scraping my scalp along the way.

"Ow!" I growled. I tried to bring up Alicia's face to mind, to think of her naked body and her perfectly sculpted face but it had no effect. I didn't recognize myself.

I was a stranger in my own body- saying things I would never in a million lifetimes say, experiencing things I would have laughed at any man for admitting to feeling, and constantly thinking of a girl who wasn't half as hot as my _current_ girlfriend.

But I still had a few days to go here in Switzerland, with plenty of testosterone to surround me between Colin and Logan and Rupert.

So I took a steading breath and walked away from the cold and into the warm establishment that was providing us with breakfast.

As I sat down, I tried to repress the returning want to knock Colin out. I honestly was hoping they had forgotten the whole ordeal.

"Alicia?" Rupert asked me as he sipped his tea. I contemplated what to reply. "Isn't she at the salon today?" he asked as he perused the menu.

"I've no idea, I'm usually working" I replied but then realized that I didn't know why Rupert would know that. "How would you know that?" I asked looking at him, over his menu, my interest peaked.

"Yeah, Rupert, how _would_ you know that?" Logan asked mockingly. I didn't like what he was implying. Rupert was my best mate.

"Isn't that what girls do in their spare time?" he asked briefly lifting his eyes from the menu. "Shouldn't you know, Will, what your girlfriend does all day? Isn't that what a boyfriend does?" he asked, looking at me dead on.

"I honestly… don't care to know" I said disinterested, leaning back in my chair. "As long as she is home when I get there and ready for me" I said with a suggestive tone and a smug smile. As much as these guys pretended to be players, I knew I had by far the hottest girl that any of them could hope to get with.

Colin and Logan laughed but Rupert stayed quiet and looking at the menu with too much concentration. What the hell had gotten into him? Since when was he the defender of women? If anyone used women, it was him. At least I had relationships. He slept with them and left them.

"Did you sign up for a women's rights movement lately?" I asked, a little upset that my friend of years would be judging me.

Logan slapped the table as he leaned forward laughing and Colin hardly repressed how much he was enjoying the roast.

"You know, Will? You can be an arsehole, sometimes" he said too seriously for a jest and looking me in the eye. What the bloody hell was up this bugger's arse?

I slowly leaned forward but stayed holding his gaze, waiting for the laugh, or a slap on the back, because this was getting awfully tense and I didn't want to punch my mate but it sure looked like he wanted it.

Colin's and Logan's laughter diminished some as they realized… we weren't kidding.

"Rupert, I don't know what has gotten your knickers in a twist, but perhaps you need a walk" I told him with my most serious expression, not shying away from letting him know he was stepping on very dangerous territory.

I saw his jaw clench but after a few seconds, he stood up sending his chair back with force and walking out the door, shutting it harder than it needed to be.

There was an unsettling feeling coming over me. This was wrong.

I hoped whatever had Rupert on edge would go away soon or it could very well put a damp on the whole vacation.

I leaned back in my chair and avoided the eye contact with the now mute Colin and Logan as I pretended to look over the menu in the way Rupert had done.

But my mind was too muddled to assimilate any thoughts.

Rupert had come back after a few minutes, calm and seemingly back to his old self but soon I saw it was a façade.

The following days saw him quieter than usual and restrained around me, successfully keeping me in a bad mood.

Tonight was the last night and I couldn't say I was upset about it. I was hoping we could go back to normal if he could let go whatever was the matter with him.

I had a good feeling that beer would do the trick.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Rupert, I spy a good one for you" I said throwing my arm on his shoulder and directing his gaze to a pretty girl at the bar.

We all had a few beers in our systems but Rupert seemed determined to be in a bad mood.

It made me angry the way he insisted in being upset. Rupert was usually a riot to get drunk with but he was determined not to enjoy himself this night.

I had begun to get the feeling he was trying to teach me a lesson but he was failing horribly as I had no idea what point he was trying to make with all this.

He remained slouched on his chair looking bloody miserable.

"Alright, I'm giving you one last shot to get her before I do" I said to him jokingly. "Once she sees me, there's no turning back, mate" I added.

"Is that right, Will?" he asked, turning to face me.

Well, at least I had gotten some sort of reaction, finally.

"You're welcome to try to prove it otherwise" I said taking a gulp of beer.

He scoffed.

"I don't have to" he said and got up and got lost among the crowd.

As much as I had come to despise speaking to Rupert's idiot friends, I was out of ideas.

I turned to them and gave them an inquisitive look to which they replied:

"Probably been a too many days that he doesn't get any" Logan said and laughed.

I got up and followed in the direction Rupert had gone and found him outside.

I shook my head some to dispel the fuzz around my thoughts thanks to the alcohol and see if I could figure this out before we all parted ways tomorrow.

"Hey, mate? We alright?" I asked him, leaning on the wall of the pub beside him.

He looked at me from the corner of his eye but didn't quite meet my eyes. He had been doing that a lot these past few days… avoiding my eye contact.

Finally he nodded as he looked out into the parking lot.

"You sure?" I asked squeezing his shoulder.

He looked to be contemplating whether to say the truth or not.

"You got Alicia waiting for you back home and here you are competing with me for girls. How's that right, Will?" he asked, his eyebrows deeply set in a frown.

I was taken aback by his question. Since when did he care? We always did that when we went out for drinks. I'd never cheated on Alicia even if I did flirt a little with some of the women to pass the time while Rupert was making his conquest but he had never minded- unless of course, the object of my flirtation was the one he liked best.

If anyone in the world cared less about my treatment of women, it was Rupert.

"I was just trying to cheer you up, mate" I said seriously, but I felt a pang in my stomach. I may not have been serious about the girl at the bar but I did know Alicia wouldn't appreciate my internal struggle of the last few days, if she knew about it.

He looked at me for a second then, as if he wanted to say more, but looked away again.

"Don't worry about it" he said with a shake of his head and walked back inside.

0-0-0-0-0-0

I was determined.

I had to break up with Alicia.

And I'd do it as soon as I got back to London.

As much as I wanted to dismiss Rupert's odd discomfort with my treatment of Alicia, I had to admit he was more right than he knew.

My mind was telling me I'd regret it but my heart was saying I needed to do it.

Not that I was going to declare undying love for Clark now, but I was obviously done being in love with Alicia.

My weakness with Clark, of all people, showed me that.

She was still the best secretary I'd had… ever, and so that meant she was still off-limits. And I was alright with that. At least, if I was no longer attached with Alicia, I could stop feeling guilty.

And once I gave myself the liberty to pick any woman to get to know next, surely things would go back to normal with Clark.

She was simply the one there to show me that things were at a dead end with Alicia and I needed to set myself free of her.

The relationship had lost its spark and even the sex had been lacking of late. If that wasn't a sign that I need to end it, I don't know what could be.

You always want what you can't have, and at the moment, that was Clark. But once she was in my reach, the appeal would surely disappear.

Now that made sense. That was logical.

What made absolutely no bloody sense was why my stomach twisted at seeing the burst of colour that was my assistant, standing out in the crowd of the airport, waiting for me with her bright smile and laughing eyes and how the sight of her could undo in a second all the nine hours I had spent on the plane talking myself out of my foolishness.

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 **A/N: And that's Chapter 20! For any who are wondering, Will goes back and forth on what he calls Lou depending on how he is feeling. If he is being lenient and letting his true feelings show, then 'Lou' comes out, whether it be in his thoughts or words. But when he is back to fighting it, he calls her Clark as it is a way to believe himself unmoved by her.**

 **Next chapter will be the celebratory dinner and possibly New York from Lou's POV.**

 **Anyways, please share your thoughts as you always do. I always look forward to reading your response to the chapter. Thank you for the support and for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi, everyone. I'm so sorry for the late update. Unfortunately the situation I mentioned a few weeks ago has taken a horrible turn for the worse that we never even expected. I won't burden you guys with the details. I tried writing and just ended up crying on my bed for hours until I couldn't cry no more. I really tried but at the same time, I didn't want to give you guys a bad chapter. Even now, I am not sure if it is as good as I wish. Thank you for your patience and continued support.**

 **On a happier note, this story reached 200 reviews! That** _ **is**_ **amazing… thank you everyone.**

 **Chapter 21**

Lou looks over to the waves rolling over the beach, barely making a sound against the smooth surface of the glittering sand. The moon is reflecting on the water and lighting up the otherwise dark sky. The colder sea breeze of the night caresses her face gently and flows through her loose hair, sending a timid shiver down her shoulders and her arms.

She tugs the yellow cardigan closer around herself as she faces away from the wind.

On the other direction, the shimmering lights from the skyscrapers of South Beach radiate against the colorful neon lights from the smaller buildings closer to the water. Those flash in all sorts of colors, making the entire city look like a party. An awe-inspired smile tugs unto the sides of her mouth at the sound of the live band on the small stage, playing Salsa music accompanied by a couple of performers dressed in tropical attire dancing beautifully to the music.

This was their last night in Miami- a city that had seen her go through a myriad of emotions in the days spent there. Expectation and nervousness. Success and elation. Disappointment and hope. Yearning and fear. Pride and wonder.

She was leaving with some good memories, too.

And she was already looking forward to coming back next year.

But she was also leaving with a lot of questions- questions about herself, questions about Will…

After they had picked up the dress from the seamstress, they had gone back to the hotel to shower and go to dinner.

Will had continued to insist in a celebratory dinner and had brought her to a rooftop restaurant right off the beach.

She had to admit, he knew how to choose a place.

The restaurant was full even though it was Sunday night. She had expected most people would shy away from the party scene the night before they had to go back to work but the streets were as alive as any other day. On the way there, they'd had to make their way through the crowds. The sidewalks had been full of people strolling down the streets, dressed in bright colors, laughing and dancing. Music streamed from just about every bar and cars drove past them again and again in search of parking.

It seemed surreal, the way people lived here- so differently. She guessed it made sense for it to be so. It was probably the reason the city bustled with people- people looking for life and fun. It was a whole other country, also. As far as she knew it wasn't a Miami thing but a USA thing. She wouldn't know at all. But then again, she had never spent much time thinking about it at all.

Did other parts of the world differ in other ways? She imagined all of the big cities all over the globe and how they all could have different cultures and ways of life and it seemed impossible to assimilate all of it.

She would get a better idea of it the next day. They would go to New York City. Would it be just like Miami or would it be different?

And to think she had lived unaware of all the diversity that existed all over the world all this time. How had she? She figured living in a small town in Wales did that to you but she considered that even then, how had she never even been slightly curious to know anything else? She had been so content with it all… it seemed impossible to remember the person she had been and the person she was now.

The Lou who had been content to work at a café for years and date a boy who she liked well enough and who had no goals, no aspirations… she realized she was not that person anymore. She now knew what it was to feel passion- for your work, for the city you live in, for your dreams and the possibilities that tomorrow could bring…

Had it not been for Treena forcing them to move to London and for meeting Will, she might have spent her entire life that way… it was such a despairing thought, now that she looked back to those times.

They weren't bad times. She loved her family and she loved doing what she could for them. She didn't regret those years. And there was nothing wrong with a small and quiet village and a tranquil childhood. But it was scary to think that that might have been what her whole life may have once revolved around. To think it might have been all she ever knew…

"You look upset, what's the matter?" Will asked, bringing her out of her thoughts.

She shook her head lightly.

"I was just thinking how much of the world I haven't seen and how naively happy I had been until recently with that reality" she replied. She supposed Will couldn't understand that. He was a man of the world. He had done so much, been everywhere.

"This is nothing, Lou" he said calmly. "And wait till you see New York tomorrow" he added.

"You know, I had been thinking of asking you about that… how did you come about calling me Lou as of late? What happened to 'Clark'?" she asked with a smile.

He was obviously taken aback by her question but answered quickly nonetheless.

"I might ask you the same. Since when did I go from being Will to 'boss'?" he asked in retort.

Now _she_ was taken aback. She hadn't expected to be asked that at all. She swallowed remembering her thinking it was so flirty of her to call him that.

Well, she couldn't tell him _that_ , obviously.

But at the time she had started it, he hadn't said anything and so she had continued it without much thought- thinking he hadn't even noticed it.

And now she couldn't come up with an answer that wouldn't embarrass her.

"I asked first" she finally replied defiantly but not as confidently as she would have liked.

She saw him pursue his lips and raise his chin, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I'll let you off the hook with my question if you let me off the hook with mine" he answered looking into her eyes still.

Even if his look _was_ unnerving, she was too relieved at the prospect of not having to explain herself to press for an answer from his end.

"As you say… boss" she replied with a small smile and a raised eyebrow. She then proceeded to pick up her menu and pretend to be reading it. In reality, she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye to watch for his reaction.

She could see out of her peripheral view, how his eyes examined her face. She let him look, to let him think she wasn't noticing but his eyes on her were making her heart soar within her chest. It felt as if they were burning into her skin with a look so intense that she couldn't name- not without meeting his gaze and potentially letting him see the effect he was having on her.

She laid the menu flat on the table to let the light hit it so she could actually read it, and leaned forward to see it better.

"You're wearing the 'Queen Bee' necklace" he pointed out.

"Oh. Yes, I am" she replied, her hand automatically reaching for the pendants dangling on her chest.

"I'm glad you liked it" he said, no teasing left in his tone, looking back and forth between her and his menu.

"I did say it" she said looking up at him.

"If I remember correctly, the entirety of your response was a hug" he replied with his eyes fixed on the back page. "That's hardly saying anything" he added, a taunting smile tugging at his lips.

Was he teasing her or…?

She examined him for a few seconds trying to discern if his words were meant to be purely a jest or if he actually meant it.

"If I remember correctly… actions mean more than words" she replied with a small smile.

"So I see" he said briefly looking at her eyes for a moment with a knowing smile, then letting his eyes land on her pendant, then back to the menu.

She noticed his face and the stubble that had been growing along his jaw in the days he was away. Though she liked his clean-shaven look, she had to admit this wasn't a bad look either. To be truthful, she couldn't think of a single time she had seen him wear this or that that he hadn't looked heartbreakingly handsome.

"A picture will last you longer, Clark" he said seemingly serious without missing a beat.

She jumped in her seat, startled.

She hadn't realized but she _had_ been staring.

A sudden heat rose to her cheeks and she searched for a comeback.

"Pfft! You wish! ….Is this why your secretaries always quit so soon? Are you as obnoxious to all of us?" she replied hardly knowing what she was saying, more aware of the sudden racing of her heart than of anything else- including how much he was enjoying unsettling her.

She had just said the first thing that had come to her mind but instantly wished she could take it back. She had indeed been wondering about that but realized that this wasn't the moment or the way to say it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that" she said after a few seconds of silence. It was easy to forget she was talking to her actual boss when they were so far away from the office.

"It's alright. I was actually wondering when you'd ask. You're the one to go the longest on the job without bringing it up" he said seriously.

"It's none of my business" she replied apologetically.

"I'm guessing you've heard the rumors around the office" he stated.

"I don't talk much with many people but… I have heard it here and there" she replied cautiously, glad he had kept the subject open to discussion.

"Heard what, exactly?" he asked, cocking his head sideways.

"Nothing specific, really. Just that they don't stay long" she said, now wondering what he could be referring to.

"You haven't spoken to Lana, then? Three desks down from you?" he said.

"Not more than a 'hello' here and there. I don't think she likes me very much" Lou replied, scrunching her nose.

"Consider yourself lucky" Will said cynically.

"What _do_ people say?" Lou asked after deliberating whether to ask at all. But she was really curious now.

"You sure you want to hear?" he asked dubiously.

"I want to hear _your_ version" Lou said sincerely.

If Will was surprised by her earnest answer, he didn't say.

But before they could answer, the waiter came by asking what they would like to drink. Lou worried the interruption would mean the end of the conversation. And the truth was, she had been wondering for a while, and especially lately with the attention he had been giving her, his underhanded flirting and Miriam's worries.

She didn't dare name what had been developing between herself and Will but it terrified her and confused her to no end.

Her feelings didn't seem to be completely unreciprocated though, did they? Unless she was fooling herself and seeing what she wanted to see.

But what if she was falling for the young successful business man, just as the others had? Had he toyed with all of their emotions, making them fall for him just for fun, not ever intending to catch them?

She felt so stupid every time that little string of hope told her otherwise- that somehow she was different. That she couldn't be misinterpreting things so wrongly.

And then the guilt would pang, reminding her she was still with Patrick and even thinking those thoughts was wrong.

But why was he worried about whether she had spoken to Lana or not? Did Lana know something incriminating or that he would rather keep quiet? Or was she spreading lies?

"What would Lana tell me if I asked the same question?" Lou asked seriously.

She felt herself breathe in, and hold it there, waiting for his response.

His eyebrows showed frustration and how little he enjoyed the subject.

She held her breath, hoping he would answer honestly. To know the truth might help her figure out the very confusing situation she found herself in and answer more than one question.

At his hesitation, she almost wanted to take back her question but decided against it. She might not summon up the courage again.

"She would tell you that I led on and broke her best friend's heart" he said as he crunched his eyebrows together and looking Lou straight on, as if he were watching for her reaction closely.

She tried to hold back the shock and hurt she felt at those words… were they true? Is that what he was doing to her at this very moment?

Lou tried to process the words. Well, had he done it? Or was it a rumour spread by Lana without any true foundation? Was there a perfectly reasonable explanation for what happened? She didn't dare ask. But he hadn't denied it, either. Perhaps she should just let him continue and allow him to elaborate if he wished to. She didn't want him to know she was considering the veracity of the claim, in case it was false.

Her heart beat hard inside her chest, screaming how dare she doubt it being a lie at all? Her feelings for Will were already forming many different scenarios in which he came out without fault in all of it and reprimanding her for considering the matter at all.

"Won't you ask me if I did?" he asked her visibly upset.

"I'm sure it was a misunderstanding" Lou replied, giving him the benefit of the doubt. She wasn't sure what to make of Will. He was puzzling at best and she felt she wasn't anywhere near to putting the pieces together. But she just had this feeling in her gut that said to trust him and she couldn't ignore it.

"What makes you so sure?" he asked her more gently now.

Lou didn't know what to reply. She wasn't sure- not at all. Will was a good boss and even a good friend to her at times but she couldn't say the same for his romantic relationships.

For all she knew, he could be horrible. He didn't seem particularly attached to his current girlfriend of months who she hardly heard him spoke about or to, and who presumably waited at home for him to arrive at any hour of the night.

That didn't award him any prizes in the love department.

And then, the way he was being with her… it was wrong, as much as she secretly enjoyed it. He wasn't hers to have. And he shouldn't make her feel the things she was feeling if he couldn't reciprocate and deliver on those feelings he was invoking.

But was it his fault? Or had she allowed herself to develop feelings for a man who wasn't free when she herself was attached to another? It was a blurry line and she couldn't differentiate where one's blame started and the other's finished.

"Like I said, it depends on who you ask" he added finally.

"I'm asking you, Will" she replied, without hesitation. But what if he only confirmed it? What would she do then?

Perhaps knowing the worst of him wouldn't be bad thing. It could even help her dispose of the emotions she was having difficulty dealing with. It might be a blessing in disguise after all.

If she despised him, then…

"If you ask _me_ … I'll answer 'yes'" he said looking away. His answer staggered her. She had in her heart wanted and expected him to explain the entire situation and how the entire office staff judged him unjustly.

She wanted to jump across the table and demand the truth… the real story in which he had been the victim of lies misunderstandings…

But he was admitting to it all.

And he wasn't that kind of man at all… he wasn't the kind of man to let others stomp on him and ruin his reputation. He was a smart man, one who didn't let others take advantage of him. He was the kind of man who stood up for himself and demanded to be recognized for what he was. It was one of the reasons she admired and looked up to him.

Could that even happen to him? Wasn't it more likely that he was indeed at fault if he was admitting it? She didn't want to believe it. It hurt too much to think of the implications, of what it meant for him and for her.

"I'm sure there's more to it than that" Lou replied, begging for the whole story, so she could find some way to justify why her situation was different, why she was so sure she was different to him.

"Lou… I'm sorry to disappoint you" he stated, meeting her eyes with shame in his.

"No…" she started. "I know you aren't like that" she added desperately.

"But I am, Lou. And if you look deep inside your heart… you know it's true" he said calmly.

She stayed staring at him, at his green eyes that didn't blink or look away and begged with her eyes for him to deny what he had implied… that even with her he was toying.

"Come, let's dance and forget about this sour subject. It doesn't matter. Just stay clear of falling in love with me and your heart will remain intact" he said jokingly as he stood up and offered her his hand.

But his joke wasn't funny at all… not to her.

But how could she say anything else, ask anything else? So she dropped it for the moment, realizing she would need to think about this further when she was on her own and she could organize the thoughts and feelings that were swirling madly inside her.

"I can't dance this" she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"It doesn't matter, I do" he said still reaching out for her.

"It matters to me! You're going to look great and I'll look ridiculous! Thanks very much, but no" she said crossing her arms and sitting back on the straw chair.

"What I mean is, if you just follow my lead, then you don't need to know" he clarified, obviously amused with her.

The truth was… she wanted to dance with him. As confused as her feelings were, with him standing above her, his hand stretched out towards her, it was all she wanted to do.

"Can we dance towards that darkish corner?" she asked still sitting.

He looked over to where she was gesturing and looked somewhat annoyed.

"We don't need to. You're going to be great, Queen Bee" he said with a wink and looking down at the necklace he had given her, hanging from her neck.

She couldn't help but smile.

"Dark corner or no" she pressed on still smiling.

He rolled his eyes and gestured with his head for her to move as he turned around and began walking towards the lonely corner of the dance floor near the entrance to the kitchen.

She began to follow him looking down at her feet. What was she doing? She listened to the music and even though the rhythm was catchy and promised fun, she had no idea how she would move to it.

She looked to the professional dancers to see if she could catch their movements but it was useless. They moved so fast and in synch that you couldn't tell where one movement started and where the next began or what pattern they could be following at all.

And with them for people to compare them to, there was no way she could look half decent while doing the dance Will promised would be easy.

Before she realized, he had grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.

The scent of his perfume hit her like a shockwave, turning off all of her defenses.

She saw his Adam's apple move up and down as he swallowed, her face mere inches from his chest.

How did she continually get herself into these situations when she meant to avoid them?

"The dance symbolizes a chase- the man chasing the woman and the woman teasing him that she will let him catch her right before she steps out of his reach. So when I step forward like this, your opposite foot will step back, as if you won't let me catch you. Then I'll step back at your rejection and you'll be the one to step forward again, teasing me as if saying: wait, I do want you. When I try to meet you then, you step back again as if you didn't mean it. And then we are back to step one again. Get it?" he asked her as he held her in position- one hand holding hers up and one on the small of her waist.

She wouldn't look no more into his explanation of the dance- her beating heart couldn't take it and her mind couldn't begin to process all the possible implications in it.

He demonstrated by stepping forward with his left foot and she tried to step back. Then he went back to the starting position and took a step back with his right. She tried to step forward with him, though a little out of synch. And then back to the starting position again.

"…1,2,3… 5,6,7…" he said slowly under his breath as they continued to move in the steps. "Do you feel yourself move to the beat, yet?" he asked smiling.

She had to admit, it did feel right somehow… the way they were moving along to the sounds of the unfamiliar exotic instruments.

"Yes, it's not so bad" she said relieved she felt herself getting the hang of it. Her body, however, unused to the movements, felt somewhat awkward trying to follow him.

"Now, one thing to remember is, try to keep your torso without much movement. Let your hips do the movement as you step, and maybe even your shoulders a bit, and try to keep your elbows at the same elevation" he instructed quietly close to her ear as he moved with her.

She tried to follow his instructions but it felt somewhat odd. Her body wasn't used to the stance and it was taking all her focus to do it all simultaneously.

Before she knew it, he had spun her in one direction and back in the other and she was back in starting position and his body pushing her to do the steps again.

She looked up at him and he was smiling widely.

"What was that for? I can hardly manage the steps as it is without you spinning me around!" she asked startled.

"Are you enjoying it?" he asked, his voice an octave deeper than usual, and successfully ignoring her question.

But before she could think to answer he had twisted their connecting arms some way and spun her again and did something else she couldn't follow and she started laughing unintentionally.

Her blood was pumping through her veins fast and something about the music was taking over and exhilarating her… or perhaps it was the fact she was dancing with Will, only inches away from his captivating smile, her hands in his, his breath mixing in with hers.

Or all of it, together. She didn't know.

She could only imagine how she must appear. She only wished Will was right and he was doing a good enough job for the both of them.

But he was right. She was enjoying it. And for the moment being, she would let that be the only thought allowed in her mind.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The walk to the hotel had been somewhat quiet with Lou's mind still being a muddled mess. Her mind couldn't reconcile with her heart. The first told her she had been mistaken in the kind of man Will was while the second screamed passionately that he was not that man, at least not anymore.

Then a third voice laughed and asked her why was she struggling with the answer? It didn't matter. Why would he leave Alicia- long legs and perfect hair- for little old her?

"Did you not enjoy yourself?" Will asked her, bringing her out of her thoughts. She seemed to be retreating there more and more often when in his company.

Her heart jumped at the question. She didn't want him to know what she was feeling. And if she didn't want to let on, she had better gather her wits about her soon.

So she laughed and thought of what remark she could make that would make him forget about her pensive nature lately.

"Well, it wasn't no dinner on a yacht overlooking the city but… as far as celebration dinners go it wasn't the worst I've had" she replied with a small smile recalling to the lie he had fed to the store clerk to get the dress done by tonight.

"Oh, Clark. Do you not know me at all? The day I do propose to a girl… it's going to be much better than that" he replied instantly.

"Of course, I forgot. I'm sure that wouldn't be flashy enough for Alicia, I suppose" she responded.

He looked at her confused for a second before replying, all teasing gone from his voice then.

"What I meant was, the day I propose, to whomever it might be… it will be much more personal, special" he said looking ahead with his eyebrows coming together in focus.

She hated herself for noticing how he neither denied nor confirmed it being Alicia, and for her silly hopes grasping at the words like a lifeline.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

It wasn't her first time in such a big city. She had been living in London for quite some time and spent quite a few days in Miami. But there was something about New York- something about the energy felt warmly familiar but altogether different and new.

The meeting had gone well the day before. She still marveled at his way with words and people and the way he could win over people so easily. Had he done that with her, just like he did with everyone else?

The dinner with the possible buyer wasn't until the day next and so Will had volunteered to show her the sights.

They had seen most of all the major New York landmarks, except for the Statue of Liberty which apparently was impossible to get into without reserving months in advance.

She had been disappointed but Will had assured her the next time they were back in New York, he'd make sure to make proper arrangements for her to see it.

She had thought he had been joking but he looked properly serious, as if he was just as upset for her. She crushed her hopes before they read more into it than what was there, as she often did lately.

But the moment had continued to feed that flame in her heart that no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't put out.

They had bought tickets to a Broadway show- The Lion King- and she had even bought a dress for it.

She had been finishing applying her lipstick when his urgent knocks resounded through her room.

She rushed to open, hoping she hadn't made them late.

The first thing she observed was he wasn't dressed for the theater.

And he had his suitcases with him.

And he was out of breath.

And his chin was quivering.

"Will, what's the matter?" she asked desperately.

"My dad, he's had a heart attack" he said confused, as if he was trying to make himself believe it. "I'm so sorry, Lou" he shook his head. "I won't be able to take you to the show after all" he lamented.

.

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 **A/N: Wow! This is officially my longest story to date! I can't believe a little idea that kept bugging me and begged to be written down turned out to be what it is today. Thank you all!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Once again, thank you everyone for the support and kind words you continually offer. They mean the world to me.**

 **Chapter 22**

She has fallen asleep once again as she did on our flight to Miami. I remember specifically because when it was time to land I strapped her in to allow her some more sleep to ease her into the new time zone more easily.

Looking back now, how had I not been aware of the changes in my behavior at the time? It wasn't like me to be thoughtful or considerate.

She was having an effect on me that I never thought possible. Making me see things in ways I never considered. And shaking me down to my core… the blasted woman!

It explained the guilt I had been feeling for my past actions in regards to my secretaries. While the rumors that circulated around the office were adorned and exaggerated for dramatic effect, I could no longer tell myself that they were unfounded.

And telling her about it, well… it made me feel ashamed as I had never felt about it before. In the past, I had actually been proud and flattered to be thought about in that way.

To be known as the guy all the girls secretly hoped for and the one men wished they could be like.

But this girl was doing strange things to me and the moment I let myself think about it, it all came crashing down.

It all felt so stupid, so pointless…

Maybe it wasn't my sense of right and wrong that was finally coming to light… perhaps it was only that I now realized she wasn't like the others and those kinds of lewd tricks and machinations wouldn't work on a girl like her.

She wouldn't be impressed by a man like me, wouldn't _want_ a man like me.

As it stood, I wasn't even free to tell her what I wanted or felt, not if I had any chance of fixing the image I had foolishly made for myself.

And even if I could offer myself to her, I wasn't sure I was what she deserved. Who was I to say she wasn't happy with the man she was with? He obviously appreciated what he had if he had been willing to try and make a long-distance relationship work.

And I couldn't interfere, not if I truly wanted to show her that I was willing to be different with her… for her.

Of one thing, I remained sure- I needed to break things off with Alicia as soon as I got back. I had been dragging her along in an unhealthy relationship and mistreating her too long. I had not gotten with her for the right reasons and I didn't feel for her what I knew now were the proper feelings to have for someone.

I cared for Lou.

I had been overridden by my own emotions and now only had the cold hard truth to face.

I would have never imagined it possible for me to be in this situation, never considered it, never planned for it.

Yet somehow, it wasn't as bad as I had always imagined it to be. It even felt somewhat… liberating, if I dared say it.

My insides were screaming at me to stop this foolishness and be a man, to fight these weakling tendencies… but I didn't want to- not really, not anymore.

My heart was tired and just wanted to give in.

It was something unprecedented for me and I was glad to have some time to figure out what it all meant, and if it was only a passing fancy.

After all, there was still the possibility that my feelings for Lou were superficial and would fade at the prospect of a prettier girl.

In retrospect, I had always considered her to be nothing special, but if I admitted it to myself, I had been wrong there too.

Her sleeping form provided an opportunity to access that prospect, though it felt wrong to examine her when she wasn't aware of it.

Her figure was pleasing and even if she was short, -much shorter than any girl I'd ever dated- there was something adorable about it. Her facial features were pretty but it was her radiant smile that truly shone and her expressive eyes and eyebrows that never failed to put a smile on my face.

But more than her physical attributes, which weren't lacking, her personality was like no one's I had ever met, certainly none back home, where I was pleased to find out we were both from.

How it hadn't come up in conversation in the past, I couldn't fathom. But I certainly had never asked her where exactly she was from -having no interest in some small town I was bound to have never heard of- and I was in no rush to announce I was from West Wales either.

But it had been somewhat comforting to know once it came to light earlier today when I had come knocking at her door.

When I had explained what had happened with my father, she had assured me she was at my disposal and would stay if I wished her to meet the buyer or come with me to visit him or head back to London and ready things for my return.

I had felt a warmth at knowing she truly meant her offer to accompany me and it _was_ the most appealing alternative.

The meeting with Samuel Langston could wait as we weren't ready to sell Morgan Accounting yet anyhow and there wasn't much for her to do back at the office without my being there.

"I couldn't ask you to come with me. You don't have to; it isn't part of your job description" I had made sure she understood she didn't need to feel like she had to.

"I know that. But you look upset, Will. Perhaps you might be glad to have someone with you until you are with your family" she had said sweetly.

I didn't want to let on how comforting the idea was and how much I truly needed her presence for my own peace and sanity but the news had caught me off guard and I wasn't myself.

"Perhaps" she continued, "I can take off from there once you're with them and take a train to go see Patrick, my boyfriend" she added tentatively.

"We're going to be landing on Cardiff Airport- we already got clearance. Where do you need to go?" I asked her, trying to skip over the reminder that she had someone.

"That's actually very close to my old home town- I can take a train from there to Pembroke" she replied.

My mind hit a stop then, had I heard her right?

"You're from Pembroke?" I asked her, narrowing my eyes at her.

"I am, do you know it?" she asked back at me in shock.

"I… grew up there, my parents still live there, actually" I answered still trying to reconcile her answer with the turmoil in my head from the recent news.

"Really?" she smiled in surprise. "What are the odds? And we never met…" she added.

"I am older than you. We would have not been in school together and I left at eighteen for Uni" I explained.

"Will Traynor and little old me, born and raised in the same town" she simply said smiling and shaking her head in disbelief. "Well, it's settled then. Can I have a bit of time to get my things together?" she asked.

"Of course, I'll go finalize everything downstairs with the hotel" I replied and left her to pack.

The discovery momentarily allowed my thoughts to drift from my father but once I was walking towards the lift, they came back with full force.

My mother had called me about an hour before, her voice shaky and agitated, and told me my father had been taken away to the hospital after experiencing a sharp pain in his chest that she believed was from a heart attack. She knew nothing else as the doctors hadn't come out to see her yet but she begged me to go to them at once.

She didn't know if he would be alright and last time I had spoken with him, we had left things off in bad terms. I hadn't spoken to them in months and I shuddered as I remembered our last exchanges.

I had had my differences with my parents over the years like I presumed most people did- at least most people I knew- but I never thought I might lose one of them and much less at a time when things had turned so sour.

I didn't want to think I was doing this to ease my conscience but it felt awful of me to have waited for something of this seriousness and magnitude to happen before I made things right again.

I had always assumed it was the norm for parents and children to drift apart as they grew older… many of my friends weren't on speaking terms with one or the other parent or a sibling and I had made that my excuse to keep the distance but, Lou wasn't like that.

I could tell she loved her family dearly and was willing to do just about anything for them- too much if you asked me. But maybe that's where I was wrong.

She was willing to support them and follow them wherever they went, to put her own dreams on hold for their well-being. Could I ever be that selfless?

I liked to think I had it in me but I had to admit I hadn't ever been that way- not to my parents, not to my girlfriend, not to my friends…

I had put me first and above all others… using Alicia for my own needs and ego, without a care for her feelings and wants. I had been so close to Rupert for the ego boost it gave me to walk into a bar and have the women gravitate to me instead of him, and I had put my parents on the back burner simply because they weren't of use to me anymore.

I had been living on a toxic cloud but I was falling fast and hard. And the cold hard ground was greeting me with open arms.

I had no other options but to let the hurt make itself present and now face the consequences. I had no one to blame but myself and I alone needed to atone for my actions.

Where could I even start?

There was an ache in my chest that demanded for me to right things, to make a change before I drowned in the well of selfishness I kept falling deeper and deeper into- before it was too late to get out- before I had lost or pushed away the people that mattered.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Will, I need you to meet with Lionel while you're in New York. I've sent the details to your assistant's email. You're still in New York, aren't you?" Alfred said in one breath as soon as I answered.

"I'm actually not" I replied, already flinching at his response for my impromptu change of plans.

If I had thought about it more, I may not have answered this time. Unfortunately, it was a habit of mine to stay attentive to my BlackBerry. The pilot of Alfred's jet didn't really care whether we left our phones on during the flight and we were close enough to land and descending already that the call came in.

"Weren't you meeting an interested party tomorrow?" he asked.

"I was. I had to postpone that meeting… my father has fallen gravely ill and I had to come home for a couple of days" I clarified.

There was silence in the other end for a few seconds and then a deep sigh.

"Will, I know that you know how important you are to this company. And you know I give you leave to do your job as you deem fit as long as you deliver results as you always have in the past… but you still have to report to me. And it doesn't give you the freedom to do as you please, and _certainly not_ when you are jeopardizing this company" he said gravely.

His harshness took me back some and so I thought my words before I said them. Alfred seemed to be on a mood of some sort and that wasn't a place I wanted to be in.

"I understand, Alfred. But I have given you no reason to believe I am putting your interests in jeopardy, and I am coming back to London with two very promising and profitable companies acquired at almost unheard of prices" I reminded him, somewhat confused at his shortened leash. "I am not jeopardizing your company- I am making it lots and lots of money" I reminded him firmly.

"Your _assistant_ is making this company lots and lots of money… don't think I am ignorant to that fact! Both Lowden and Harrison reached out to me and congratulated me on the 'sweet and smart girl' I had been keeping in my pocket this whole time" he said, sending shivers down my spine with his thunderous rebuke.

I didn't know what to say, how to excuse myself…

I couldn't deny it, it had been Clark and she did deserve the credit.

"I have to make sure my father is out of danger at least, Alfred" was all I could manage. I held my breath as I waited for his response.

"I need my jet. Send it on when you land and I expect you back by the end of the week" he said and cut the line.

I had to admit myself unsettled by his harshness. Was everything really going to go all to pot all at the same time?

"Everything alright?" I heard Lou ask me.

"Sure" I said forcing a small smile. She took a moment to rub her sleepy eyes as she straightened her form. "Did I wake you?" I asked her.

"It's alright" she answered with a smile.

There was a small moment of silence but you can always trust Clark to fill those up pretty soon.

"Did you never go into The Buttered Bun when you came back to visit Pembroke?" she asked as she repositioned herself in her seat.

"The Buttered Bun?" I asked her to make sure I'd heard the name right.

"Yes, that's where I worked before I moved to London. Frank was my first reference, if you remember?" she asked playfully.

"No, I'm afraid I took a whole two seconds to pretend to be interested in your resume past the part where I saw you had no experience in my field whatsoever" I replied jovially, infected with her ever sunny mood.

"And you never ate out anywhere when you lived there or when you were visiting?" she asked me.

"If we ever went to eat out, we went to Pembroke Dock or, if we felt like making the drive, to Milford Haven" I explained.

"So your mum cooked most of the time, then?" she asked, suddenly so curious about my time in Pembroke.

"Pfft! No… she wasn't the most adept cook. We… had a maid who did the cooking" I tried to say without sounding too entitled.

Her mouth fell open.

"You had a maid?" she asked incredulously.

"Just the one, mind you" I clarified. "And Paul tended the gardens before Mum took a liking to it" I added as an afterthought.

"Oh, of course, do forgive me Mr. Darcy" she said in an exaggerated posh accent.

I raised one eyebrow at her little joke. I wanted to smile but I didn't want to encourage her poking fun of my, I can admit it, privileged childhood.

"Of course, that explains why we never ran into each other. We obviously populated very different circles" she continued jestingly.

I looked to her again, deciding whether to indulge her in her little joke or not, just to catch that glimmer in her eye and that smile of hers, along with her raised eyebrows, in expectancy of what my response might be and I realized it didn't matter if I didn't have a clever retort. As long as I got to see that look directed at me, that's all I needed.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Oh, shouldn't I take a different cab? Or the train? I don't want to take you out of the way" she said as I helped the cabbie to put her luggage in the boot.

"What do you mean?" I asked her in confusion as I lifted the last of her bags and put it in.

"Is The Coach House Hotel on your way?" she asked, still standing by the curve.

"You're not staying with…" I began to ask once the cabbie was sitting at the wheel and out of ear shot. She simply shook her head uncomfortably and I didn't press for more. I didn't know what troubles they might be having but I couldn't help overhear some arguing the night we arrived in Miami when we were heading back to the hotel after dinner.

A little glimmer of hope sent my heart beating faster at the idea that she might soon be single again.

"Then you'll stay at my parents' home. They have guest bedrooms and they won't mind… they aren't there in any case" I added not knowing why.

"Will, I couldn't" she replied.

"Lou" I said as I stepped closer to her. "Please" I breathed coming inches away from her. At this point, I didn't know what I was doing or why, I was just doing it. And it was terrifying.

I saw her large brown eyes search mine for a few moments and I waited, relishing in the brightness of her expression.

I knew I was being inappropriate and not really helping my case, but I couldn't take myself away.

I saw her eyebrows draw together with compassion. Compassion for me, I realized. She thought I needed the company in these hard times. All the better, then.

She slowly nodded, without breaking eye contact and smiled kindly.

"Alright, I will" she said and sidestepped away from me and towards the cab door.

I wanted to get it for her but stopped myself. I didn't want overdo it, now.

I really needed to get myself under control.

The two-hour drive from the airport to Pembroke went by fast as I recalled the familiar landscape spreading before me.

Memories of trips back from the airport as a child, after a vacation somewhere, flashed before my eyes. Mum and Dad sitting in the front seat of our old Range Rover, then later with Georgina strapped in her car seat as an infant, crying to be taken out and held and driving me mad in the process as Mum insisted she needed to learn to stay in her place.

I wondered if she'd make her way home for this…

I decided to call Mum then, to see what had transpired in the last few hours.

"He's stable now… or that's what they said. But they're still trying to assess the damage, whatever that means. And at the very least, he'll have to make some lifestyle changes. They think he might need to take some medication on a daily basis and 'cardiac rehab' in a few weeks- I'm not sure what that is… They don't seem too sure of anything yet but they think he'll stay in the hospital for a few more days till they figure everything out" she said.

She sounded tired and irritated.

"I'm on my way. Hang in there. I'll see you soon" I said into the phone.

Then I felt a pressure on the top of my hand. My eyes flew to it and saw Lou's hand squeezing mine as she smiled reassuringly at me.

She slowly took it away and went back to looking outside.

I was glad for it since I was sure my face must have shown the impact her small gesture had on my feeble and agitated soul.

.

.

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 **A/N: I won't lie, I have my doubts about this chapter… :/ Any thoughts or feedback of any kind is much welcome.**

 **Thank you everyone!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hi there! I just want you guys to know how much I appreciate every one of you reaching out to me and offering me kind words and wishes along with your appreciation for last chapter. You guys are too wonderful for words.**

 **Chapter 23**

For the third time, I was on an airplane. But it wasn't quite the same. That sinking feeling in my stomach was still there when the jet lifted off the ground but it no longer terrified me as much.

Other things terrified me now.

The prospect of Will arriving home to find out bad news was one, for example. Another was what kind of reception Patrick would give me and what would come out of my impromptu visit. What would I even say? Where to begin to explain? Did I want to? Was it worth it? Did he deserve it?

Yes, he did.

Was I about to make a foolish choice based on feelings I couldn't act on and could hardly realistically expect to be able to take further?

Was I about to throw away my best shot at happiness because I let myself get impressed by a pair of sea green eyes and a knee-weakening smile, ruffled blonde curls, strong…

No, I couldn't let myself do this. I couldn't even think of _him_.

Yes, Patrick had his flaws like anyone, as I'm sure I myself have them, and I needed to be understanding of that as he was understanding of mine.

I couldn't throw away the years we had together, what if I regretted it only once it was too late?

I'd try to acknowledge my mistakes and promise to try harder to make things work. I could bring Patrick around, I knew I could. He loved me, after all.

We'd been on the plane for a few hours now.

Will remained quiet and pensive, staring out the window with his eyebrows stressed together. Didn't it hurt to frown for so long?

I yearned to massage away those worry lines in his forehead and to gently help his shoulders come from their crunched position with a gentle caress.

I turned away. I needed to. I had to put these silly fancies away before they were my ruin.

I had to think of something else.

I tried to think of what it felt to know you were hundreds and hundreds of meters above an ocean.

Unlike when we were flying to America, I felt as if I was not the same. I was coming back to my home but with a new appreciation for it, along with a respect for all the places which I still didn't know and which I so easily dismissed in the past.

And in some strange twist of fate, I was coming back to the place that saw me grow up, that made so much of what I am today. And that place was also the place that saw Will grow up.

And I was going back there with Will, whose father's fate was uncertain at the moment.

We had grown up in the same town… how strange. I didn't know what to feel of it, except we now shared something particular and special. We could talk about the same streets, shops, parks… the castle!

I must ask him about it, if he used to visit it or whether he could see it from his home, or if he used the large structure to help him know where he was or which way to go the way I used to do, using it as a point of reference to guide myself.

But not now, nor anytime soon.

I couldn't imagine what he must be going through… I'd suffered loss from my grandmother and ached for Granddad when he had the stroke that left him without his speech. But to find out your father was on the brink of death, and could still be, or may be again soon… that had to be different.

It had to be devastating.

I couldn't even try to imagine what that would be like for me. Just thinking of Dad lying in a hospital bed, sickly and pale, brought tears to my eyes.

I was almost glad he wasn't alone on this plane ride even if he didn't want to talk, at least he had someone in case the need arose.

I knew I was not part of that family, I didn't know his parents. And he was only my boss. But inwardly, I felt an obligation to go with him when he visited them. He shouldn't be alone when he goes. Perhaps I'd offer to accompany him on the drive there and afterwards head to see Patrick.

He didn't know I was coming after all and so it wouldn't matter if I get there sooner or later and I had this silly feeling in my gut that Will needed me there, simply as support, of course.

We couldn't be what I wanted but I could be a friend to him and I had a feeling he needed one at the moment.

I'd offer to accompany him then, just in case, and give him that option. Perhaps he'd prefer to be alone. Whatever he needed, I wanted to be there.

But also I didn't want to be overbearing… I just didn't know. I was afraid I knew so little of his feelings, of his secret person of the heart. He carried this persona of the successful entrepreneur who could tackle anything and left so little else to be seen.

There had been small peeks he had given me of the Will others didn't see… the time with the ice cream comes to mind, when the pressure of Alfred's demands were getting to him and I had felt like I brought down those walls, if only for a few hours.

And then afterwards, when he had come for dinner. He had been so pleasing to my family- no longer the emotionless businessman but a charming young man.

And then glimpses, here and there on this trip, when the lines between employee and friend had been blurred.

So I knew there was more. I could see it now in his worry, in his quickly dropping his business trip to go see his dad. I could see it in the way he kept looking down at his hands and examining them as if trying to work something out or see something else in them.

I'd better stop looking if I didn't want him to notice I was staring.

Damn, I had to stop to doing that!

A sigh escaped my lips as I looked out into the night out of my own window.

It had to be close to midnight, I wasn't sure. These time zones were confusing.

I should get some sleep, I wasn't sure what time it'd be when we arrived.

I let my head fall back onto the seat and closed my eyes…

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

We arrived past midmorning. I felt confused as my mind tried to assimilate how more hours had passed in less time but gave up.

I hadn't slept much on the jet or very comfortably and my head was sort of fuzzy.

Will had insisted we share the cab and I stay in his parents' home, for which I was silently infinitely grateful for. I couldn't imagine what a 2-hour fare would have been and even if I was more financially capable than at other times, it still felt wrong to spend so much on a cab ride when there was a train which could be taken. Not to mention what a room in even a bad hotel could cost.

I probably would have taken a train had he not offered, and I had been hoping, if I could fix things with Patrick then I could stay with him for however long we were here.

What I wasn't thankful for was the very confusing way in which he persuaded me. He had stood so close and his voice had been so tantalizingly swaying.

My heart had grasped at the gesture, demanding to analyze it. But I refused to indulge it. I had made a decision and I knew it was the right thing to do. As confusing as things with Will may continue to be, I needed to keep my head.

So I removed myself and entered the car.

Will had continued to be quiet through the drive. I hated to see him this way. And I could tell Alfred's call had added more burden to his already weighed down shoulders.

But he hadn't elaborated any more than that.

What was he thinking of?

Then I knew, when he had called his Mum. It had been quick and precise, but his short and few words carried the emotional pain I suspected he was carrying.

And then there was no argument in me.

I reached out and took his hand for a few seconds and put pressure on it. Then I made sure to give him my most comforting smile. I didn't know if it was worth much but I had to try.

He had seem taken by surprise by the gesture and so I ended it gently and turned my face away towards the gorgeous and homely landscape.

I wasn't sure if it had been the right thing to do but if there was even the smallest chance that it had helped then I couldn't regret it.

So I didn't.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

His parents' home was nothing short of what I had expected.

Now knowing that he came from a family with wealth, I was prepared for the extravagantly large home, lavish decorations and upscale furniture.

I couldn't help contrasting it with my current living conditions but ended surprising myself with the realization that I preferred it the way I had it- everyone cramped up together, sharing one bathroom and all.

Our voices carried down the empty halls as he showed me to a guest bedroom that looked pristine but desolate. It was decorated in cool tones and soft golds and there was a window with thick curtains to my left.

"The closet and drawers should be empty if you want to use them" Will indicated as he pointed to both. Were we going to be staying here so long that I needed to unpack? "I'll be three doors down to the left if you need anything. Your bathroom is the door across to the left and it should be stocked with anything you need but feel free to look for anything you can't find or ask me" he added and turned to leave.

"I was thinking…" I began and he stopped and turned around to look me in the eye. I didn't know how to continue. There was a heaviness in his gaze, a resignation in the way he carried his body that startled me. "Would you like me to accompany you to the hospital?" I said sure that it was the right thing to ask. I couldn't justify to anyone why I felt entitled to offer support or why I was so confident it was mine he needed but there an incontestable determination stemming from somewhere deep that left me in no doubt.

I saw him take in my words, and consider them, then slowly nod.

I breathed.

"I would… appreciate that. Thank you" he then added as an afterthought. "But, won't your boyfriend be expecting you?" he asked me without meeting my eyes as he shifted from one foot to the other.

"He doesn't actually know I'm here" I replied looking down. I felt my face flush. I didn't know why it was so embarrassing to admit that we had trouble. Whenever the subject came up, I could only manage to offer the vaguest answer. Perhaps I was ashamed to let him know I couldn't keep a boyfriend happy, when he had something obviously better in Alicia. I was sure she didn't have that problem. Stupid, so stupid.

Who cared if he knew? All relationships went through rough patches, didn't they? Plus, I was going to fix it, and then he'd see Patrick and I could survive the odds. And this was Will. Why couldn't I just be open with him?

"The truth is… the distance has been hard" I said letting out a loud and freeing breath. "And then I forgot to mention I was going out of the country and so he is reasonably upset, naturally. I should have mentioned it. It's only… well, I'm going to surprise him with my visit" I added with a forced smile as I straightened up and made myself look him in the eye.

I saw him nod slowly then speak.

"It could happen to anybody. I'm sure… he'll be happy to see you" he said with an odd smile and slowly turned to leave. "Well, in that case, can you be ready in forty five minutes?" he asked turning back.

"Yeah, sure" I assured him as I swallowed the knot in my throat. I couldn't believe I had told him all that. I couldn't decide if I was glad to have done or if I regretted it.

I saw him leave and then took a seat on the plush bed. I took a deep breath to settle my body but there was a strange emotion coursing through me. I felt tense and uncertain but I couldn't locate where it was coming from.

It was probably the jetlag in addition to the awful thing that was happening to Will that had me feeling so unsettled.

I decided to take a much-needed shower and figure things out from there. It would do me good.

I opened one of my suitcases and I saw a little yellow corner of something peek at me from under all the other clothes. I pulled at it and it came out. My yellow skirt! I'd forgotten I'd packet it at all!

This would go great with my blouse with the small purple parrots all over and… my pink blazer! Oh, I wished I'd brought my blue tights! Well, my purple ones would have to do… and they would go great with my pink polka dotted pumps with the purple butterfly which I had with me, also.

After I had gathered all these items, I made my way to the left and opened the first door.

However, it wasn't the bathroom.

My mouth fell open.

It was someone's bedroom but whose?

The walls faded from the softest pink at the very top to a pearly white towards the bottom making a perfect ombré effect. The carpet was thick and tall, and sparkly white. It looked as if, when you stepped on it, the strands would curl around your toes and tickle the sides of your feet up to your ankles. The bed stood low with a simple off-white cover and pink silk cushions that perfectly matched the shade of pink of the walls. Small bright lights shimmered in the ceiling above the bed like diamonds and curtain-like sheer sheets of a soft see-through material hung from the ceiling where the corners of the bed would be and cascaded down to the floor brushing the impeccable carpet. There was a crystal chandelier over to the right hanging over a white vanity with a matching bench. There was a garland of what had to be very realistic plastic peonies attached to the edges of the mirror and running down the sides with moss green leaves spreading out of the stem.

I had a half mind to step in, just to feel the luscious white carpet…

I heard a breath behind me and I jumped, successfully dropping all of my belongings onto the floor with a shriek.

"That was Georgina's room before she went abroad" Will said calmly but amused.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I wasn't sure if you'd said first door to the left or right or…" I said gulping, as my heart beat wildly inside my ribcage. I felt my face heat up rapidly and I struggled to keep my knees locked. He didn't seem upset but I still looked like the stereotypical curious lower class girl snooping in the first posh home she has stepped in her entire life.

"It's alright. My sister hasn't been home in I don't know how long and even if she came back, I doubt she'd keep the current décor" he added with an amused smile.

I kneeled to pick up the disarray of clothes at my feet, silently hoping that my under garments hadn't popped to the top of the pile.

His gaze followed mine and he squatted to help.

As he picked up my pink blazer and butterfly shoes his movements slowed to a halt.

"Were you going to throw these out or wear them?" he asked me with a quizzical brow raised.

"Wear them, thank you very much" I said taking the offending items from him.

"Is looking a box of tempera part of the surprise?" he asked trying to keep a serious face.

"Patrick _happens_ to like my style" I said puffing out my chest and making to turn around towards the bathroom.

This seemed to stump him somehow because he didn't answer right away.

"I'm just kidding, Clark" he said with an apologetic smile.

"It's alright" I answered shrugging my shoulders. "I'm used to it and I don't care who likes it or not" I said with cheeky tone.

"Good" he answered looking oddly sincere. "It suits you" he said a genuine tug of his lips.

"Thank you" I said as I slowly closed the door to the washroom, maintaining eye contact for a few more seconds until he was shielded by the door.

A silly grin broke onto my face and, as much I wanted to repress it, it bore none of my objections.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"So you _were_ serious about wearing those clothes after all?" Will asked me with a mischievous grin as we stepped out of the front door towards the Range Rover he had said belonged to his dad.

I simply shook my head at him. I wouldn't encourage his teasing, as much as I enjoyed it and reveled in it.

"So he was right" I heard the wind carry a different voice, an all too familiar and now terrifying voice.

My head jerked in the direction it came from and I saw Patrick approach us, his feet crunching loudly on the gravel as he stomped towards me looking like an angry bull.

"Patrick!" I called out as I ran to meet him. "I was coming to see you" I assured him quickly but he looked as unfluctuating as stone.

No, no, no, no! What was he doing here? My mind raced to find an explanation to why Patrick was right here, at Will's home, and now?

What?

His head shook in disbelief and there was a mean frown distorting his features.

How could this be?

I looked back to Will, who was standing there in his striking designer coat as the wind ruffled his blonde curls messily in that perfect way I could never quite describe justly. His green eyes were piercing Patrick's with a leery gaze that seemed to be adding and measuring and assessing what was in front of him.

He looked fierce and handsome and intimidating.

I was tragically cornered and hopeless. This moment was surely confirming in Patrick's mind every suspicion he ever had about me, about Will, and about my job.

He wouldn't allow this any longer.

"I can't deal with this, Lou. I just can't comprehend" he said, his voice breaking as his hands pressured the sides of his head as he looked up. His hands came up to his face now and pulled his skin down as he squinted. He was out of control and I needed to calm him down right away.

"His dad is in the hospital, that's why I was going with him but I was coming to see you, Pat. So I could make things right, explain to you…" then it dawned on me. We were standing in Will's parents' yard. How did he know we were here?

"Explain what, Lou? Don't you mean _lie_?" he asked sarcastically.

"No! Lie? I haven't lied to you, Patrick" I begged.

"You know" he said laughing ironically, "when Tom told me he'd driven the girl from my photographs from the airport to some big house with some sniffy Dunhill-wearing cock… I really wanted him to have been wrong but somehow deep inside, I think I knew" he said in contempt as he held a pointed index directly at me.

"No, Pat! Listen, darling, this is Will, my boss, remember? We were on our way back and…" I tried to reason using my gentlest tone. I knew this looked bad, but if he would just listen…

He stepped back.

"This is your bloody boss? Wait, you're telling me this fag is your _bloody boss?_ " he asked as he pointed back and forth between Will and me.

Had he really just said that?

And how did telling him it was my boss and not some lover make things worse?

I looked back to ascertain Will's reaction and I saw him lift his chin and take a few steps toward us.

Oh God, no!

"You're telling _me_ , that this is the man you spend your bloody nights with and go on trips without my knowledge? You know what? I really don't need this, Lou" he said laughing again and shaking his head. "I really _really_ don't" he added and then began to walk away.

"Patrick!" I cried out. "Wait, please!" I begged after him.

"Let him go, Lou. He doesn't deserve it" I heard Will closer now behind me.

"Yeah, why don't you listen to your boyfriend, huh, Lou?" Patrick said bitterly, barely turning back as he walked.

"Will, please?" I pleaded quietly to him as I heard the gravel behind me, following close.

"Really, Lou, just don't bother, alright? Don't come to my house, don't call, don't bloody do anything! I don't know why I wasted all this time holding out for you when I could have any girl I want, Lou. You hear me? Any! I don't need some filthy scrubber who can't even deliver…" he said turning back and looking me dead in the eye.

His words struck me like a dagger and I was immobile.

My heart couldn't assimilate the hurtful words that were coming out of the lips I'd tenderly kissed so many times.

I could feel my eyelashes flutter in a futile attempt to refrain back the tears that were pooling in my eyes.

My vision was blurred and all I heard was crunching clack like the sound of bone hitting against bone and I gasped.

Patrick had been so angry, could he have gone as far as to hit Will? It sure sounded like it.

Oh, no… why had he had to get so close to me? Why hadn't he just stayed back?

I quickly closed my eyelids and wiped my eyes as inconspicuously as I could and turned, looking for Will to ascertain that he hadn't been hurt too badly.

The last thing I needed was to meet his parents and then have to explain his purple eye was my fault.

But he looked well, no sign of having been hurt… and that was when I saw it- he was shaking out his right hand and looking at his reddened knuckles.

I gasped.

Had he…?

I quickly turned to see Patrick launch at him but Will quickly stepped out of the way.

This was _not_ happening.

"Leave my property" Will said solemnly and menacingly. His features dripped with gravity and his unfaltering words hung in the air after Patrick's failed attempt to retaliate.

"My pleasure… You can have her" he scoffed. "I've had her so many times I've forgotten what plump breasts feel like" he added and gave me one final disdainful look.

Humiliation filled me and enveloped me until it felt as if it was weighing me down and sinking me into the earth. I could hardly feel anything else, _be aware_ of anything else other than Patrick's feet shifting the gravel as he walked off probably towards the nearest bus stop.

A cry escaped my throat.

And then my knees gave out.

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 **A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I enjoyed writing it and so I hope it was a similar experience for you guys (: even if you didn't like it, I'd love to know your thoughts on it. Thank you** _ **so much**_ **for reading!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Welcome back, everyone!**

 **I want to dedicate this chapter to Milli1302 for all the medical facts she offered me in familiarizing myself with the situation Steven is going through. I'm so grateful. Any mistakes are all completely my fault and due to my lack of experience in the medical field.**

 **I want to thank you all also, and let you know… things are getting better and I am slowly feeling more positive. I'm sorry I've been so cryptic about it… it's just a very personal circumstance and a difficult one to talk about.**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Chapter 24**

It was an involuntary reflex rather than a conscious choice. More accurately, I'd say that I was extending one arm under her back and the other was grasping her waist before my eyes had even fully registered her tumbling form.

Anger surged through me, and I could still feel the adrenaline of the almost altercation streaming through my veins. The stinging in my knuckles had faded to the back of my mind at the memory of his reddened cheekbone.

I saw her lips move, as she articulated my name in a breathless clamor. Her weight fell in my arms, gravity pulling her down against the strength of my extremities.

The gravel shot out from beneath her boots as her feet struggled to reclaim equilibrium to her body. Her arms took fast hold of my shoulders, steading herself as another low whimper heaved out of her throat.

Her irises met mine for a split second before her eyelids rapidly covered them, then opened again, but now keeping her focus on the ground beneath.

"Are you alright?" I heard myself ask her, slowly releasing her as she was able to stand it, taking my hands off her body to hold her elbows in my palms instead.

She nodded several times with a quivering smile that wasn't fooling me. I crouched my neck to force her to look me in the eye.

"He's lying, you know?" she said as she made eye contact with me briefly, making me very aware of the closeness of her body.

"Of course" I stuttered, not having expected her to say that, and not really sure what she meant.

"About my breasts, I mean. They may not be… the perkiest but, for their, size, they aren't as bad as he made it sound" she said with an unsure laugh, then blushed slightly.

I couldn't help but reply with a surprised laugh of my own at the unexpected clarification.

"No one who saw you in that pink Chanel dress back at the gala in Miami would dare argue otherwise" I replied jokingly, but at the same time trying to hide how true I actually knew my words to be. The last thing I wanted her to know was that I remembered every second, every look, every step of that dance when I held her close and when I first was truly struck by her recondite beauty- it was the kind that was right there in front of you, staring you in the face, except it took a sharp eye to see it.

It reminded me of a beach in Costa Rica, that Rupert, Chuck and I discovered a few years back. It was remote and hidden, and the locals were weary to tell us anything about it. We had heard it mentioned at one of the bars by one of the girls who sat to drink with us before her burly boyfriend came in, punched Chuck in the face and took her away. After that, we were so intrigued we canceled our flight and refused to go back till we found it. Eventually, we did. And it was _so_ worth it. There were no tourist establishments, no large crowds or colourful umbrellas, no strategically planted palm trees or imported sand- just raw, natural beauty… rare and hidden, the kind that you always hear of and yearn to witness, but wonder if it could truly exist anywhere.

That was what Clark reminded me of- beauty, sincerity, humour hidden by layers of bright, busy clothing and the sneering attitude of people… people like me, who snubbed anyone who didn't live, dress or act by our own patronizing rules of higher society.

Her laughter brought me out of my brief mental absence, a heartfelt laughter that shook her body along with mine, as she slowly and gently broke away from my hold and stood on her own accord.

She wiped at the corner of her eye, as the laugh became shaky and her eyes became clouded by the pain she must have been surely feeling.

"I'm… sorry you had to see that" she said apologetically as she looked out to the left, her eyes searching for something to land on, anything but my face.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, if anyone should be sorry, it's that arsehole, who honestly got off easy with only one blow" I replied severely.

I saw her gulp as her eyes searched for the assailing arm.

"How's your hand?" she asked, her eyebrows pushed together at the center and going up, pushing the skin of her forehead into ripples in that charming way I've only seen her do quite that way.

"Never better than after it's delivered a well-deserved bash" I answered with a half grin as I showed off to her my almost back to normal knuckles.

"All to defend my honor?" she asked mockingly as she fluttered her eyelashes exaggeratedly with a slapstick smile.

I raised one eyebrow at her and contemplated her face for a few seconds. I nodded proudly and slowly for a moment, glad to see that her embarrassment seemed mostly gone now.

"Also, he called me a fag…" I said narrowing my eyes at the memory. "I may be a lot of things, Clark, and dress really well and all but my sexuality isn't one to be questioned" I added with feigned gravity.

"Oh, no. No one who's ever met you would accuse you of THAT" she said with a shake of her head as she made to turn around and walk back.

"What is that supposed to imply, Miss Clark?" I asked in my boss tone that, at this point, had zero effect on her.

"Nothing particularly" she said lightly now as she took slow steps, looking down at her moving feet. But regardless of her reply, I knew she must be thinking of the way she knows I've behaved with women in the past, never shying away from letting a pretty girl know I admired her, be it with my words or my actions, even when I haven't had the right or the intention to take things any further.

It was a stark reminder that she knew exactly what kind of man she was dealing with. Would she even take anything I said to charm her seriously? Or would she think I was only shamelessly flirting? And even if I was clear with what I wanted… rather, _when_ I was clear with what I wanted, would she even care?

I couldn't mess this up. I wouldn't get a do over. And I couldn't ask her to risk her job because of me if she thought I was only trying to take advantage. I needed it to be exemplary clear that I was determined to do things right, that she could give me chance, that I was worth giving a chance to.

Her feet dragged as she walked to the car, and her face remained hanging low.

Even if she was trying to lighten things up and appear jovial and unaffected, I saw the mortification and pain in her eyes and heard the humiliation of the recent encounter in her voice, even as she tried to hide it behind an animated smile.

I gently took ahold of her upper arm and made her turn to me.

"He shouldn't have called you those things" I said earnestly as my eyes obliged her to look at mine.

Her eyes became glossy as she nodded and turned away with a quiet deep breath that was surely meant to stabilize her weakening defenses. I could tell she was trying to remain looking unaffected and aloof. But I wanted her to know she didn't have to have any reservations around me.

"We mustn't delay any longer. Your mother must waiting, wondering where we are" she said with a small out-of-place smile.

My instant response was to tell her she should stay, but held back from saying so. If she wanted to go on as normal, for her sake, I wouldn't pity her.

So I nodded and walked to the car alongside her.

Even as I was sorry for the shame and hurt she must have been feeling, there was a little flame that at some point had sparked to life somewhere inside me. It was warming me and making my step lighter, even if there was so much grief around me. However, at the time, I would have never let myself look too much into why it had kindled just around the time the girl walking by my side had become officially unattached.

Or why it seemed that at some point in the last twenty-four hours, I had arrived at the conclusion that I no longer intended to fight my wish to be with her.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Can I see him? How is he?" I asked almost as soon as I got close enough to my mum to speak.

"Will..." she began before she noticed the girl trailing behind me. She gave her a questioning look and conspicuously examined her from head to toe, no doubt struck by her uncommon choices in clothing.

"Oh, Mum, this is Clark. She is my assistant. We came straight from New York so she came along. Clark, this is Camilla Traynor, my mother" I said looking back to her, who extended her hand to my mum with her signature smile.

My mother shook it lightly then returned her attention to me, not one to be too bothered with employees of the family.

"He's pretty sedated at the moment. They've only let me see him a couple of times when they've lowered the dosage to speak to him but he's in a delicate situation and they want him to recover quickly so they keep him asleep mostly. But as far as how he is, they hardly tell me anything" she said, her hands shaky as she sat back down.

"What happened, Mum?" I asked.

"I'm not entirely sure. I was at work when it happened but they've confirmed it was a heart attack" she replied.

"Is he going to be alright?" I asked. The distress returned in full force at the sight of my helpless mother and our inability to reconcile with any idea of the future.

I couldn't pretend my relationship with my mother and father ever been a warm and loving one. But they hadn't been bad parents either. And no matter what, when faced with the possibility that one of them may soon be gone, all faults are quickly forgotten and there's little you wouldn't do to guarantee their wellbeing, if only for a little longer.

"They haven't said so much as that. I feel as if they don't even know if he's going to be alright. What they have said is that he's going to be staying here for quite a few days, perhaps a week or two, depending on how the recovery goes. And that if we wish to avoid another one soon, we will have to make a lot of changes, decrease the stress, improve his diet and exercise habits…" she explained. She looked perturbed and sleep deprived. Her usually tidy appearance was disarranged and her cool demeanor was broken by anxious behavior.

"I won't be able to stay past Saturday. Is Georgina going to come?" I asked, thinking Mum had been here dealing with all this on her own.

"She's trying, she said, but she isn't sure she can be spared" she said with a dismissive wave of her hand as leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "You know how important her job is to her" she added with an air of discontentment.

Georgina was infamous for her deep-set belief that the world revolved around her.

I looked back to Lou who was standing there, holding her bag in front of her with her two hands as she stared compassionately at my mother, a woman she just met, and it was readable in her features how she felt for her. It didn't change the state my father was in, but it was unassumingly comforting.

As we made eye contact, she stepped forward towards me. I looked down from my chair besides Mum, then back up when I felt an increasingly familiar soft pressure on my shoulder.

Her hand just rested there. Here she was, consoling me, when she herself was most likely hurting from the recent event.

And her face said it all, all I needed to hear was plainly written in the way her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes stared into mine, the shape of her mouth in a soft expression of empathy.

Her sincerity and raw feelings shook me and reassured me that she was exactly as good as she seemed to be.

I didn't know why I did it but I reached up with my hand and placed it atop hers and returned the squeeze, stroking the top of her hand with my thumb. It was a foreign sensation but a welcome one.

I reached out with my arm and put it around my mother's shoulders and brought her into my embrace and she leaned it into it.

There was something about tragedy that made awkwardness mute and physical closeness be a fenceless field where you could stroll freely without worry of wandering too far.

And there was something to be said about experiencing it yourself that put things into perspective in a way that otherwise you just don't understand.

No, I was the one who didn't understand.

Lou had understood when she had approached Lowden and Harrison, the two elderly men whose health was failing them. She had been respectful towards that, rather than taking advantage of it.

Imagining that someone would think of using my father's recent events to take advantage of him and make money off him… well, it infuriated me, but shamed me even more.

That person had been me all this time.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

A few hours later they called us into his room and allowed us to see him, even though he was mostly in and out, and I wasn't sure just how aware he was of my presence.

Lou had stayed back, probably sensing I needed this time with my parents.

But after a few minutes we were asked to return out into the waiting area so him and the other patients could continue to rest.

The guilt of our last encounter burnt as bright, especially when I saw his affected face resting on the pillow, somehow looking older than I remembered and paler.

It was mix of rage and affection that teared me apart. Because as bad as it made me feel, I knew I hadn't forgiven either one of them.

I had wished to apologize for the words that I shouldn't have said and the distance I had been keeping lately but it somehow felt like it wouldn't have carried the weight necessary to ease my conscience- not when I felt like there was a part of me that didn't truly mean it.

It would have come off as insincere and only a result of the fright that I could have lost my father. But I felt as if the moment things went back to normal, I wouldn't be able to continue to act as if it was all in the past.

I wouldn't be able to wait until he was fully recovered, it seemed, since it would be longer than I had expected, and Alfred had sounded eager for my return the last I had spoken with him and none too happy about the extra days I was away on personal matters.

But I was desperate to explain to my father and make him explain himself also… though I didn't know what I wanted to hear or what would fix things but I knew that I couldn't let it fester any longer.

But one more look at my disheveled and tired mother and it was all fading to the back of my mind. I was angry with her, too but I couldn't feel it at the moment, not when I saw how deeply this was affecting her.

"Mum, go home for a few hours. I'll stay here and I'll reach you on your mobile if the doctors say anything new. They've met me and they'll know to talk to me if there is a need for it. Rest a few hours" I encouraged her.

I saw her consider my words and nod slowly.

"Thanks for coming, Will" she said as she placed her hand behind my neck with a tired smile. Her words sounded heavy and I was so altered by all the recent events that I found myself unusually touched by the gesture.

I felt my face constrict in an effort to remain strong, my eyebrows pushing together.

"I'm sorry I've not visited much lately" I said, surprising myself at the disclosure. That was one thing I knew I was sorry for.

I saw my mother look behind me towards where Clark was sitting a few chairs away, staring intently into her cellphone, probably playing that silly game where you threw birds around.

She'd bought a new iPhone about a month back and finally put to rest whatever prehistoric mobile she'd had before. And a few days later, she had discovered the game I often saw her playing when there was nothing better to do.

Thinking these thoughts brought to mind the unusual way I seemed to have casually been noticing such passing details about her, among other little things, and how little consideration I'd given to that fact before today.

But now it seemed odd that it never occurred to me that my behavior, and the things that were catching my attention and occupying my thoughts, had been slowly changing.

Now it was painfully and embarrassingly obvious.

"Why is she here with you, Will?" my mum asked as if she could read my thoughts.

I felt my hands come together and began to fidget, but I kept eye contact, as I struggled to find a way to explain without giving my mother any reason to suspect more than was there.

But the more I searched my mind for a suitable answer, the more I came up empty and the more I panicked.

Was my lack of a timely response in fact giving more of a wrong impression than a rushed answer would have?

She seemed to be arriving at the same conclusion as she looked down and seemed as if she was no longer interested in an answer.

"I already told you, Mum. We were on a work trip" I said doing my best to appear normal.

"Yes, but why is she _here_?" she asked again.

"I was upset and she thought the company would help. She's actually originally from here and she's that kind of girl who fusses about but she is a good assistant" I tried to explain while sounding aloof.

She nodded lightly in response.

"Just be careful, Will" she said meeting my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I scoffed, feeling myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation.

"I'm not sure…" she replied looking away now. "Just… if you want to keep things right between you and that girl you've been with, you should be careful" she added.

"It isn't like that, mother" I said getting defensive that she was assuming things but guilty because I knew she wasn't too far off from the truth. What had she seen? Bringing Clark had been a mistake. How could I have let myself get so carried away and been so careless?

She seemed unconvinced and I gave in. I had to say _something_.

"She just recently ended a relationship and I don't know the details but she's pretty upset about it. And she knows I'm with somebody. Besides, she needs this job. She wouldn't jeopardize it, no matter how good-looking her boss may be" I said, adding some humour towards the end to try and appear like she was blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

"Even so, she isn't the one who worries me the most" she added lowering her voice even more and giving me a look of discernment.

Her words shook me. They shattered the ground beneath my feet and I felt cornered.

Was I giving myself away? What had I done? She had been the one who had insisted in coming along. How could my mother pick up on my struggle, when she had never been good at knowing anything I was up to?

Alarms blared in my head. I felt out of control. How had I given that impression unknowingly?

It seemed it had been noticeable enough, for my mother to pick up on something, when I had thought it was a private matter I was in control of.

I was desperate to ask what it had been, what word? What action had it been? I struggled to not let my eyes betray how much I wanted to know. I needed to know so I never let it happen again.

But to ask would be to admit, and to admit would have been to resign myself that this was controlling me and not the other way around. And I desperately needed to be the one in control.

"You've got nothing to worry about, then, Mum" I said not very convincingly. "Now go home and get some rest. I'll stay here" I said trying to turn the conversation away from the unwanted subject.

She gave me one last unsure look before she gathered her things, and in a few moments, it was Clark and I alone, again.

My head was spinning and my mind searched my memory for everything I had said and done but nothing jumped out as particularly obvious.

Lou had touched my shoulder and I had touched her hand but even if it wasn't exactly proper etiquette between a man and his assistant, it wasn't enough to have let on, was it?

And what did it mean? Did that mean Lou could have noticed? Did she know the effect she had been having on me? I couldn't imagine she had, otherwise she would have made sure to keep her distance. I would have seen her stay away as I would have done in her position.

The implications of my mother's questions were far too many for my mind to be able to comprehend them all. There were too many possibilities and some I wasn't willing to explore.

And this on top of everything with my father… it was too much.

I stood up and walked to the glass window overlooking the lake behind the hospital that could be seen from where we were in the intensive care floor.

They had explained to us that the chances this would not be his last heart attack were almost certain. He would need to care for his body with meticulous attention to what he ate, how much he exercised, how much stress he endured, etc.

Thankfully, at least my mother seemed up for the challenge.

But they had told us they believed him to be out of danger for now, even if he had a long way before he could recover and go back to as normal a life as was possible.

I knew I had to go back to London in a few days. But I was pushing Alfred and the pressures of the job to the back of my mind for the moment. It was all I could manage for now.

Then my mind went back to Lou. Clark. Lou. Clark?

I couldn't decide what to call her, who she was anymore.

I took a glance in her direction and there she was, no longer looking in her cellphone but staring at her hands, laying in her lap- one cupping the other- in focus.

What kind of emotional turmoil was she going through? How attached had she been to this guy? How long had they been together? How was she dealing with the break up and the embarrassment of having had her boss witness it?

I found that taking my mind off my problems to think of hers was relieving and calming.

What could I do?

Should I reassure her she would be alright and recover? Or should I ignore it so she thought I'd forgotten about it?

But the more I looked at her, the more I felt a magnetic pull to where she was sitting- one I wanted to fight. But it was so tempting to give in. And what if she needed some company? Even someone to just distract her?

I decided to give in.

I let my feet gladly take me there and bent my body to sit on the chair next to her.

I saw her look up at me with a smile that wasn't quite there. I'd seen enough of her true smiles to know this wasn't one of them.

I ached to put a true smile on her lips, to wipe away that downward look of her eyes. There was nothing wrong in making someone smile or feel better.

"Do you… think I'm a liar?" she asked me before I could speak. The vulnerability in her words took me by surprise.

"I hope so" I replied with one of the sides of my lips lifted slightly. She looked at me confused and began to smile adorably. I was happy to see I could have such a quick effect. "What?" I asked fully smiling now. "Sometimes our clients need a little push and lying may be required in your position, did you not know this?" I asked mockingly serious.

I saw her smile falter back to a conflicted one, then her face shaped back into the hurt look she had on before.

"No, I don't believe you are capable of dishonesty, not the serious kind, anyway" I said seriously now. Was she doubting if I believed her ex-boyfriend?

"Everyone lies at some point" she said sitting back and away from her previous slouch.

I thought about my most recent lie to my mother a few minutes ago.

"I suppose" I replied. "But I don't think you're a liar" I said.

She sighed loudly then bit her lower lip.

"Do you think keeping something to yourself is lying?" she asked and lifted her eyes to mine. If she only knew how I myself was fighting with that very same dilemma? Was that why she was asking? Did she suspect I was doing that very thing?

How could I answer that?

"I like to think sometimes we have no other choice. And that sometimes to share something would be more harmful than to be honest about it" I replied honestly.

I saw her fingers lift where the end of her braid laid on her side and began to fuss with the ends of it.

"Clark, you don't need to worry about that" I said and gulped as quietly as I could. I had something I needed to say and I couldn't with do it with the lump in my throat. "I'm sure no one who knows you truly cares if you've lied at some point. You are kind, and you are determined. You work hard, and not just because you need this job but because you like to know you did the best job possible. You see past other people's outward appearances and see the good there. You bring joy and happiness with you wherever you go no matter what or how people act towards you. And then you've got that smile" I said smiling myself as I saw it appear on her face, her eyes almost disappearing and her teeth flashing as her cheeks turned rosy. "There it is… it can even make me forget…" I tried to continue but there was too much it could make me forget, including why it was a bad idea to kiss her.

My heart began to thump in my chest so loud I was sure she could hear it.

There was a little strand of her hair that had come loose from her bluebird pin and fallen on the side of her face, brushing her lower lip.

My fingers lifted and took the soft strand between them, feeling the texture of her hair as I slowly brought it up to her head.

I tried to put it behind the small pin but ended up making a mess of it.

I heard her chuckle as I further tried to fix it while only making it worse.

I laughed too, as a strange sensation spread from my chest to the end of my toes and fingers.

And even as I made a bigger mess of her hair, I fought to find an excuse to keep touching her.

But then she lifted her own hand to properly tuck the rebellious strand in its place.

Her fingers zapped me as they touched mine and I took my hand away. But she hardly had seemed to notice… or had I imagined it?

I watched her expert hands take the pin away and reform the hair back to its place without having to even look at it.

The extra seconds helped me remember just why I knew it was a bad idea to kiss her.

She was my assistant, I told myself. And I was with Alicia. And she was hurting. I didn't want to take advantage of that.

But I vowed that one day I _would_ kiss her and, when I did, I would make sure it was the best kiss that she'd ever been given.

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 **A/N: Thank you, darlings, for reading and please let me know what you thought of the chapter. (:**


	25. Chapter 25

**Good day, everyone! (: I hope you are all doing well.**

 **Chapter 25**

 _They may not be the perkiest, but for their size, they aren't as bad as he made it sound?_

Had that been the thing I'd said right after getting unceremoniously dumped in front of Will? Really?

My cheeks felt hotter just thinking about it. Who said that kind of thing, and to their boss no less?

Me, apparently.

Ugh, as if the public break up hadn't been embarrassing enough.

I tried to put it out of my head. No sense thinking about it, now. It was too late.

It had been a few hours since then, and the mortification and hurt of having Patrick end our relationship was slowly fading, even if faster than I imagined. But the more I thought about it, the more confusing my thoughts became.

What would Patrick tell his mum? What would he tell our friends?

That I had been cheating or that he had grown tired of me putting him last? Who knew? I didn't, and I had no control over what he told people.

I didn't know much about this new Patrick, the Marathon Man. Not since I moved away and he became obsessed with his fitness, and hanging out with new friends from the club and honestly, just acting different.

Gone was the soft and gentle man that once I thought would never hurt me.

And _that_ was the man my heart was aching for… but I had to remind myself that people changed and he had, unfortunately. I couldn't find that man in Patrick anymore, no matter how hard I looked.

And I wanted to blame it on the distance, I really did. Even if I hated to be part of the cliché that long relationships don't work but… the idea that I had ruined a relationship of three years… it was a thought I couldn't allow.

I wasn't unaware that I probably could have tried harder to call more often, perhaps. But then whenever I did, it was usually not a good time. I had no idea what his schedule looked like anymore. If he wasn't about to go for a run or have pint with 'the guys', then he was about to walk into the gymnasium.

I knew he had to do something to fill up the time since I wasn't there but, couldn't he have put off a run here and there to talk with me?

I couldn't let myself take all the blame. Why hadn't _he_ ever come to visit _me_? I knew why I didn't do it more often, but looking back, he could have tried to come, too.

So why hadn't he?

And the thought of being alone… it was overwhelming. Not that I had him in London but there was something about being able to tell people you had a steady boyfriend that made things better.

I hadn't been single in years… the feeling was so foreign and frankly, scary.

But I couldn't ignore the feel of a weight being lifted off my shoulders and the possibilities that seemed more in my reach now.

I knew Will was still off-limits, but it made my growing feelings less bad if I wasn't with someone, didn't it?

But that also meant that I no longer had Patrick to hide those feelings behind. What would this mean for me? I didn't want to start behaving differently around Will just because I didn't owe anything to anybody. He was with someone and… even if he wasn't, why would he want _me_?

No, I wouldn't let this get into my head and run away with my feelings. Now, more than ever, I needed to remember where the boundaries where. So what if my heart was compromised? It wouldn't be the first time someone had experienced unrequited affection.

And I had other interests now. Before, when I was with Patrick and still living in Pembroke, it all revolved around him. Where I would see him. When I would see him. What we would do.

Perhaps if he had left me then, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But that wasn't the case anymore. I had other things I was passionate about, my life wasn't empty or purposeless.

I had to remind myself of that. I didn't have a reason to fall apart over this.

True, this job could drive me crazy at times but it was also exciting. I couldn't lie to myself and say that part of it wasn't Will… but not the main part, for sure.

I could see him there, sitting with his mum, and I couldn't help but to observe the emotional space there. Were that my mum and I, we'd be hugging non-stop and very possibly crying, or even just talking about all our worries and all the possible scenarios.

Perhaps it was a man thing. Maybe if it was his sister there, it'd be different.

Sister… he had a sister. I hadn't known that.

Will Traynor had a sister, and it seemed, most likely a younger one. It was strange to think it but also not too farfetched. After all, it was in the realm of possibilities.

It was just hard to imagine little Will and his even smaller sister with a younger Mrs. Traynor in that big and lonely house.

Had they been close as children? Or had they fought constantly? Or both, like Treena and I?

Truthfully, I didn't know much about his past or his childhood, but I did feel as if I knew him so well in other ways.

Was that my imagination thinking what it wanted to think?

It could be.

But the way he had dealt with Patrick, it just seemed like something he would do. He had stuck by me so far, why wouldn't he have then?

Except for time he left me to meet with Lowden and Harrison, of course, and left to do God knows what… but in his defense, I did manage, and I couldn't be expected to keep my training wheels on forever.

And when Patrick had left me there, humiliated and hurt, Will had been so caring and soft. Thinking of the way he had acted towards me brought a smile to my face… the way his arms felt around me as he supported me when I felt weak, strong and steady. It made me my heart swell.

But there could come no good from thinking of that- better think of something else.

I pulled out my new cellphone and started playing Angry Birds.

I had been infuriatingly stuck on level 14 for days!

0-0-0-0-0-0

That day we ended up staying in the hospital till twilight.

That's when his mother had come back, refreshed and prepared for the night.

When we stepped out of the building, it was that perfect moment where it's not day anymore and yet it isn't nighttime yet.

We'd had a breakthrough moment that afternoon, I thought.

I had given in and thought more about the earlier events and ended up doubting everything. Wondering if Will had believed Patrick when he had said I was liar, among other things.

But Will had assured me, that wasn't the case. He had also said some very kind things about me, which were a relief to hear.

And my heart had beat so fast when he had tried to fix my hair that I'd had to stop him. I had felt myself getting wrapped up in the moment, and the feeling of his hand on my hair… I'd had to break the contact before my heart beat its way out of my ribcage.

Didn't he know the kind of effect he had on me?

Of course, not.

On the other hand, he had told me what he thought about one of the subjects that were bothering me.

The thought had gotten into my head that I needed to tell him I was feeling attracted to him.

It wasn't professional of me and he might not want somebody who couldn't act that way, with him having a girlfriend and all the time that we spend with each other.

Though thinking about it now, that would have been a horrible idea.

When I asked him vaguely, he had said that sometimes sharing something private could be more harmful than good. And he'd had a point. If I told him how I felt, he would have no choice but to fire me, and while I didn't consider myself to be so amazing, he did always comment on how incompetent his secretaries have always been. And then he had complimented my work ethic so enthusiastically… perhaps he knew what I was referring to? Had he meant to encourage me to hold back and fight it?

At least, it meant he was being different with me, not letting me on like he had others. That thought made me smile.

In any case, I was a grown woman who had control over her own person. Regardless of how badly I might want to do… whatever, well, I _could_ keep myself from doing so, like every other person in the planet did when faced with a similar scenario.

And I enjoyed his company so much… even if only as coworkers, or as friends. That was better than nothing.

Even as we sat in silence, as we drove on the familiar small streets of my home town, it felt organic and just nice.

I took a look to my right and observed his focused face on the road.

He turned to meet my eyes for a moment.

He looked unlike himself- tired and drained.

"Tell me something good" he said. I smiled at that, remembering all the times I said that to my dad. "What is it?" he asked at my seemingly uncalled for smile.

"If I tell, you might think I'm insane" I replied.

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I already think that so you might as well tell me" he said with a small smile.

I took a deep breath.

"I used to say that to my dad if I was sad or frightened or if I'd had a nightmare and he… used to sing me the Molahonkey song" I said trying to hold back a smile.

"I'm sorry, the what?" he asked turning away from the road.

"The Molahonkey song. You don't know it? Didn't your parents ever sing that to you when you were little?" I asked, surprised that he hadn't heard it. I thought everyone knew it.

"Trust me, Clark. I'm a Molahonkey virgin" he said lightly but I thought I heard a little something else in there. I had to remember his father was in the hospital and it wasn't a good idea to bring him up.

But he stayed looking at me, as if expecting something.

"What?" I asked, worried that he wasn't looking at the road much.

"Well, sing it" he said and took a long look ahead.

I felt my stomach constrict at the idea. Singing for Will?

But I wanted to share this with him.

I took a deep breath and began.

" _I wi-li-lished I li-li-lived in Molahonkey la-la-land,_

 _The la-la-land where I-li-li-li was bo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lorn,_

 _So I-li-li could play-la-lay my o-lo-lold banjo-lo-lo,_

 _My o-lo-lold ban-jo-lo-lo won't go-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo_ " I sang and stopped for breath.

"Jesus Christ" he said laughing.

"Wait, there's more!" I laughed back. " _I too lo took it to the me-le-lendar's sh-lo-lop-lo,_

 _See -lee-lee what they-le-ley could do-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo,_

 _The sai-lai-laid to me-le-le, Your stri-li-lings are sho-lo-lot,_

 _They're no-lo-lo more u-lu-luse to you-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-loo_." I finished, laughing with him.

"You _are_ insane. Your whole family is insane!" he said in-between laughter.

I was just too happy to hear him laugh so openly and sincerely to bother contradicting him.

Just then I heard the tires catch the gravel of his driveway as the headlights illuminated the front of the dark house.

And then it dawned on me, I was about to sleep alone in his home with him only a few doors down.

The thought felt wicked but satisfying at the same time and I had to stop my mind from imagining the possibilities of what my heart wanted to happen.

I had to remind myself those thoughts were wrong and could only lead to heartbreak and unemployment.

"Hm, we should have picked up some dinner" he said as we sat there in the dark.

"I can see if I can make something from what you have here" I offered.

"If there isn't anything that isn't too complicated to make, let me know and I'll run out to get something" he replied turning to look at me.

"As you say, boss" I said with a half-smile.

He looked to me shaking his head slowly but I could tell he was trying to hold back a smile.

And I was proud to be the reason for it.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

After we got inside, I went into the guest room I had been given to change out of the clothes I was wearing, before going down to the kitchen to see if I could make us something to eat.

That was when I saw it.

The moonlight was sneaking in through a thin line between the dark, heavy curtains on the window. And something called me out to see through it.

And there it was- Pembroke Castle- in all of its glory, standing there against the pale moonlight and the otherwise dark sky, as it had for the last eight hundred years.

How lucky did one family have to be to have that view from their home?

It took my breath away.

After staring in awe for a few more minutes, I realized Will must be waiting to show me around the kitchen.

I changed into fresh clothes and redid my braid before heading downstairs.

As I walked into the kitchen, I saw him standing in front of the freezer looking up and down.

"I've no idea what any of this is" he said as my steps gave me away.

"Move over, William Traynor, and let the pro work" I said as I approached the freezer and slightly bumped him over. "And turn some lights on in this place!" I said acting like some high end chef.

I saw him look at me apprehensively before going to turn the lights on but I pretended not to notice as I took in the meats in front of me.

As their maid/cook was probably the one buying the groceries and cooking, she probably didn't bother to label any of the meat that seemed to be from the butcher shop in town.

I took a closer look at some redder meat that had the appearance of being minced beef.

"What can I do?" he asked from some feet behind me.

My ear picked up the unusual words. Was he asking for orders from me? That was a strange twist.

"Can you look in the larder for potatoes?" I asked as I decided whether to risk the questionable meat.

"Are you going to boil them? How risqué of you, Clark" he said as he opened the larder doors.

"Believe me, you're going to want something familiar" I said chuckling as I took out the meat. "In case this mystery meat doesn't turn out to be beef…" I replied as I tried to think what seasoning could work better in case it turned out to be something else.

"You don't know? I thought you were a pro" he said as he pulled out a brown sac.

"You're welcome to try and decipher" I told him, as I turned around holding the plastic covering.

I saw him lift his chin and look me over in a way that suddenly made me question everything from the way I was standing to the top I was wearing and made my breath waver.

I saw him take one step towards me, then another, and then another coming closer with each and sending the hairs on the back of my neck up.

I parted my lips to let the breath I'd been holding out without betraying the fact that with him so close it was suddenly hard to breath.

"Let's see, here" he said taking it from my hand and observing it for a few seconds before setting it on the counter. "Looks like beef to me" he said then turned around to walk back to his potatoes.

"That's the problem, it looks like it, but I'm not sure. How will I season it properly if I don't know what kind of meat it is?" I asked more to myself than anything.

"Just add salt and pepper. You can't go wrong with those two, no matter what" he said opening a drawer.

"I thought you didn't know how to cook" I said turning to him, surprised at his insight.

"I never said that. You assumed" he said pointing a finger in my direction.

"Well, you didn't know any of the meats!" I defended myself.

"Neither did you" he replied with a small smile as he took out a potato peeler from the drawer.

"Fair enough" I said, admitting defeat. As we both took to our tasks, we fell into easy conversation. First, we talked of what needed to be done as soon as we got back to London, as he peeled the potatoes and I tried to defrost the chunk of minced meat on a pan.

Soon we were comfortably working around each other as he cut, then boiled the potatoes and I moved the mystery meat around the pan to help keep it from sticking to the bottom.

Then, as I could watch the potatoes boiling on the flame next to me, he looked for some vegetables that could be assorted into a salad.

It was delightful to occupy the same space with him as we performed such an unexceptional task as making a meal. For once, we weren't sitting in a crowded office floor breaking our heads, or at a work function, eating at some exotic place, working from a hotel room or flying somewhere. It was just he and I, cooking a simple supper in his childhood home, like two friends might or…

No, it didn't feel awkward or like I had to watch what I was doing because I was expected to do or behave a certain way.

Before we knew it, we were laughing as he told me the first time he tried to use this kitchen because he had refused to eat with his family once when he was fourteen-years-old.

"It served you right if you burnt the food and went to bed hungry!" I said wiping my eyes. "If you grew up in my family, sitting at the dinner table wasn't an option whether you were hungry or not" I shared as I passed the meat into two plates and began to carry them to the table in the next room.

"My mother knew I hated duck and she still made the maid make it at least twice a month! I'm sure it was a deliberate attempt to anger me" he said laughing some still as he poured some potatoes into the two plates before I had carried them all the way, then bringing the salad to the table.

He seemed so carefree and down-to-earth this evening- unlike anything I had ever seen from him. And it felt as if this was the true Will, the one he unfortunately didn't show often.

"Is this pork?" he asked looking up as he tasted the first bite.

"I think it is…" I answered tasting it as well. I had nearly forgotten that we'd never been able to confirm if it was minced beef or not.

"All the better. My father most likely won't be allowed to eat it if he comes home so it's a good thing we're getting it out of the way" he said as he looked at his plate. But there seemed to be a dark cloud that took over him suddenly.

He had been distracted enough by the task but he had been bound to remember what was going on a few miles away at the hospital and the real reason we were here.

My heart ached to see him suffering and I wanted to reach out and touch his hand but didn't want to overdo it.

It would be the third time I touched him that day and I didn't want to treat him too familiarly, in case he thought I was overstepping my boundaries.

"He's going to be alright, Will" I said, wanting to reach out to him even more as his hands dropped to the table and he paused completely.

"People say that but how do they really know?" he asked.

"I don't know for sure, but it does seem as if the worst is over. And if your dad takes care of himself, he could live for a long time" I said.

He took a deep breath.

"You're right. We've got to think positive" he said raising his head and smiling forcedly at me, then turning back to his food and taking one more bite. "This actually isn't half bad, Clark. You know, for a home-cooked meal" he added, a little more back to himself, as he quickly changed the subject.

"I always thought those were the best" I replied, thinking how he probably mostly ate away from his home in London. His girlfriend didn't look like the housewife type. And even when he was young and lived at home, it didn't seem like they ate a meal that was cooked by a mother or grandmother. There was just something about those that couldn't be rivaled by the best chef in all of London. "There's just something special about them" I added afterwards.

He looked at me with a confused look as he considered my words.

I looked down at my plate as I thought of how ready to see my family again I was. Sure, they could be loud and make everything cramped but being away for so long made me ache for their warmth and laughter as we fought over whose turn it was to wash up the dishes after dinner.

I picked up another piece of boiled potato and lifted it to my mouth when my eyes met his again.

Was he still looking at me?

But before I was sure what emotion was decorating his face, his Blackberry blared its overplayed ringtone.

He sighed loudly as he looked at the incoming call.

He hesitated to answer and, for one second I thought he would, but when the ring stopped he was already putting it back in his pocket.

He never ignored his mobile…

I tried to stop it but the butterflies in my stomach came alive violently and yelled at me how special it was for him to do that when he was having dinner with me.

But it just could have been someone he didn't want to talk to, right? More likely than the idea that he'd ignore his mobile for me.

That must be it, or that was what I told myself to keep from losing control of my feelings.

"How did your family manage to get to live so close to the castle?" I asked remembering how close it looked from my window.

"Uh, we own it" he said furrowing his eyebrows and taking a bite of the minced pork.

My mouth fell open and I dropped my knife.

"You own… a castle?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Actually, my father inherited it so, you know" he replied, downplaying something for the first time ever. Why was he doing that? He never missed an opportunity to brag.

"Were you allowed to go in it, whenever?" I asked like a little girl.

"Yes, did you ever visit it?" he asked me.

"Did I ever… ha! Every chance my dad would take me! Except, I'm sure _you_ were allowed in the areas outside of the tour, weren't you?" I asked fascinated.

"I was… would you like to see it?" he asked me.

I sat up straight, surprised by the question.

"Of course! I always wanted to see more than they would let the visitors see" I said remembering the small, dark and crumbling hallways that were blocked off by safety tape.

"Let's go, then" he said, standing up.

"What, now? How will you get in?" I began to ask but I was already standing up.

"Trust me, the night guard knows me" he said with an almost wink as he began to walk to the door.

But then… I remembered the one time I did see the castle at night.

I stopped in my tracks.

He noticed I wasn't following and turned back.

"Clark, c'mon. I was young, and owning a castle impressed girls" he said, taking a look at me and realizing there was something he was missing. "Are you… scared?" he asked me as he interpreted my facial expression.

All I could manage was a nod.

"It's not haunted" he added.

"I know… it's just the maze inside…" I tried to explain without choking on my fear of returning there…

An image of the past flashed in front of my eyes and a small whimper forced itself out.

"We don't have to go" he said reaching for my upper arm.

"No, it's alright, I can do it" I said calming myself and standing straighter.

"Are you sure you want to?" he asked.

"This is my chance to see it all like I always wanted to. Of course, I want to" I said reigning in my fear. I had to remind myself it was all in the past. "Besides, you'll protect me, right?" I asked jokingly, trying to make light of my earlier reaction.

"Of course" he answered completely serious and, I knew he would.

.

.

.

.

 **A/N: So what did you think? (:**

 **You might recognize the 'tell me something good' conversation. It is changed from the book being that the dynamics of the relationship at this point are very far from what they were at the time in the book/movie when the original conversation took place.**

 **Let me know your thoughts, and thank you for reading!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

She was excited at a child-like level one moment and the next she was afraid, so apprehensive of the idea of going to the castle that my curiosity was sparked along with my worry.

What could have changed? Was it what I'd said about the guard knowing me? Did she and the guard have some sort of problem? Or was it really the maze she was afraid of, and if so, why? Had she gotten lost there?

Something told me there had to be more.

But I thought it better not to ask. After a moment of reflection, she had gathered herself and accepted to come along and was back to being her playful self, asking for my protection. Whether she was serious or not, the question had pleased me nonetheless.

She remained close by as we approached the gigantic structure of stone where I had run and played so much as a child. I had always known I was lucky to get to go around as I pleased and play whenever I wanted and even in the places no one else got to go, but to see it through Clark's eyes promised to be a spectacle of its own.

I felt as if I was going to explore it for the very first time or she was the first girl I brought here. None of the others had ever shown that shine in their eyes, or that expression of wonder, and now I asked myself for the very first time just why it had always worked with the other girls. It felt stupid to realize it just now but the castle had meant a different thing to them. It had represented position and money and the most prominent family in the small town where no one went anywhere.

But to Clark, it was majestic and wondrous, even if it scared her for some reason she was hesitant to share.

As we climbed the small hill to the entrance where the guard stood every night, I felt her falling behind a bit with every step.

I turned back to see her shoulders a little hunched and her eyes looking down as she gulped and nodded as if she were telling herself something.

What was the matter? I wanted to reassure her that she needn't fear anything but, I didn't even know what she was afraid of.

Without another thought, I reached out my hand to her and held it there, waiting for her to see it.

She looked at it, then at me, then at it again.

"Look… I don't know what it is that scares you about the place, Clark, and you don't have to tell me but I can assure you… you _are_ safe" I said to her as reassuringly as I could.

"I know" she nodded, but not meeting my eyes, almost as if she were trying to convince herself along with me.

I left my hand there, at the risk of having it be ignored but she stepped closer and grasped it.

I felt as if I could breathe again, as she accepted my gesture. Having her hand in mine was such a small insignificant pleasure but I was going to savour every instant and every sensation of it.

I felt fifteen again, probably the last time that holding a girl's hand caused my heart to beat faster this way.

I waved to the old guard, who'd been doing the job for as long as I could remember, but the odd thing was, apart from his name, I knew nothing of the man who had seen me grow up as I came time and time again to the crumbling structure.

He waved back and gave me an odd look, perhaps he was trying to reconcile the face of my nineteen-year-old self- the last time I remember coming here in the night like this- with the thirty-one-year-old man I was now. Or perhaps he was trying to comprehend what I was doing with this pretty but oddly dressed girl. She certainly would not have been my type back in the day… or even three months ago, if I was being honest with myself.

"Louisa?" I heard him speak to Lou.

"George?!" I heard her exclaim, letting go of my hand, that instantly felt colder, and running to the elderly man, who could hardly fight anyone trying to trespass anymore.

She threw her hands around his frail shoulders lightly and hugged him, before pulling back and looking at him with that gentle sweet look that I now realized she reserved for the elderly.

"I'd forgotten this was your work!" she said. "Are you still going into the Buttered Bun every morning for your custard tart and your chamomile tea before going straight home to bed?" she asked him.

So, that explains a lot.

"Nah, I stopped going ever since you quit. It's not quite the same without your pretty face to serve me. Frank is a nice enough fellow but he isn't much to look at" he said with a wink to her. I was taken aback somewhat by his comment. I had never known him to be so forward before and certainly hadn't done it to any girl I'd brought to show the castle before.

"Oh, stop it!" she said lightly hitting his arm but still smiling. "Can you believe it? I move to London and end up working for this one here?" she said pointing back to me.

"Are you now?" he asked with his raspy voice as his eyes traveled back and forth between us. Please, old man, can you not make a comment about the past? I'm trying to start with a clean slate here!

I sent him a look that hopefully transmitted that and hopefully he remembered who he worked for.

"Well, you better watch your back, then little Willy here is trouble" he said in a tone that I couldn't decide if it was serious or not.

"Little Willy? Is that right?" she asked looking back at me with a questioning look. I could tell she was enjoying this. "That's alright. I can take care of myself" she said to him still smiling and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Clark, we should keep going. It's going to keep getting colder" I said, even though I knew a few minutes were hardly going to make a difference.

The truth was, George here knew who I was and it seemed he also knew Lou. And of the two, he seemed more fond of her. And the last thing I needed was for him to remind her that she'd best stay away from me.

"It was so good to see you, George" she said with one last hug and another of her smiles.

"Same here, sweets" he said to her as he returned the hug and looked me over her shoulder.

Was he trying to warn me or something? He was supposed to have my back! Guess being the son of the one who pays your salary doesn't mean as much to him as I thought. I had always imagined that was why he let me in and out of the place as I wished and was always kind to me as a child when my dad would bring me here but perhaps I needed to give him more credit.

Honestly, it was a nice thought to know that Lou was remembered and loved by this man that I had always seen as a lasting figure in my younger years and whom I respected.

I had to admit I admired the kind of person she was. I could see more and more how kind she was to just about everyone but, even more remarkable, to elderly people- something I couldn't say I'd ever seen in any other girl. She didn't see them like most people- like burdens or useless persons that are just in the way- she loved them and respected them and I could see how it affected me. It made me want to be more like that. They did deserve kindness and respect. Just because their bodies had started to betray them in the last few years and stopped working with the vigour and strength I still had in mine, didn't mean that they weren't once just like us, and were it up to them, still would be.

The realization shook me and before we were past him, I shook his hand strongly and told him it was good to see him still strong and holding his post.

He smiled at me and assured me only death would shake him from there, and I smiled back then followed after Lou, thinking that he was probably right.

She was already approaching the first red rope hanging in front of a hallway that was blocked off to the tourists but waiting for me there, as if the moment she touched it, alarms would go off or she'd be taken away.

My mind searched for a way to take her hand in mine again but I couldn't come up with any.

I walked to where she was standing and began to take it off from the hook it was hanging from.

"Are you sure we can do this?" she asked worried as she looked up to me in the darkness. Some streaks of moonlight stole inside from here and there and reflected off the walls providing some illumination. Her dark eyes were reflecting it a bit, looking like a cat in the night except she was looking to me for guidance and assurance.

"No" I said looking back to her eyes. "But that's what makes it all the more fun" I replied with a half-smile as I let my gaze linger on her face. I finished taking the rope off the one side and stepped forward into the dark hallway. And in that moment, as if it were the most natural thing to do, our hands met and I grasped hers. I couldn't tell if she had looked for mine or if they had accidentally brushed and I had taken the opportunity but just like that we were walking hand in hand through the rumbly stairs and into the chilly rooms as I told her every story my dad told me about the castle that I could remember.

My heart soared looking at her awestruck face as she touched every surface we walked by and asked about every nook or room that I didn't stop by to say something about. And then I would laugh because I kept having to tell her that not every room had an exciting story happen in it but also because it was so endearing how much she was enjoying it.

Whatever fears she'd had before, she had forgotten, as there was no trace of it left on her features.

I lost track of how long we were there, exploring every corner but leaving the highest tower for last. That was the best view. The wind and the cold always hit you the hardest there but you could see the stars so bright and clear, and the sky just looked bigger from there. You could climb to the very roof of it, where the men would stand guard back in the days and where the best archers would stand from when there was an attack. There was even an old cannon left there but of course, no one knew, as the stairs had gotten too dangerous for the tourists to climb without the risk of injury and a lawsuit following.

I took every step slowly as the light was limited, only a few streaks here and there when the arrow loops were facing the moonlight, and it had been quite some years I didn't climb it in the night. I wasn't even sure if the state of it was still the same and I was more worried to ruin Clark's clandestine expedition into the castle by having us fall and break something, or worse, end up in the hospital right with my dad.

But her hand was still securely holding mine as if they were glued together and our bodies moved in the dead silence of the night as if they were one. She didn't take a step until I took one and she didn't set her foot where I hadn't already set it before her.

Eventually we reached the top, and even though the trap door was stuck, I managed to shake it up enough for it to open and allow us to the roof of the bastion.

I climbed out first and then helped her up.

Her face was so intent in watching where she was setting her feet that she didn't notice the view until she was well and out of the trap door and standing next to me.

To describe her reaction would to understate it, for there are hardly words that could recount it. She was silent for a whole minute as she breathed shallowly and took a slow full turn, taking in everything.

First, she looked over Mill Pond, at the still dark waters where Pembroke River started its course towards the ocean. Then she looked over Golden Hill, where the hundreds of sleeping solar panels glistened under the moonlight like dark sapphires and the old country cottages adorned the landscape with its timeless strength and tranquility. Afterwards, she shifted her body to look over the town and the dark homes where mostly everyone had apparently gone to bed. It must have been later than I thought. I made to check the time on my BlackBerry for the time since we'd entered the castle, when I received the odd surprise that I had been without it this entire time and I hadn't even realized. And for the first time, ever I think, I was glad for it, since it guaranteed that we were without interruption from anyone. But then I worried, what if Mum had called with news of Dad? But most likely not since we had left him very stable and out of danger earlier. I saw Clark's eyes search the town, perhaps for her old home and then spread over the landscape past the city borders where you could almost see the sea if you squinted your eyes enough and maybe even imagined it a little.

Then I heard a loud sigh escape her lips and her body relax.

"It's so… beautiful" she said as she took another quicker turn trying to take it all in.

"And look up" I said and she did. There weren't as many stars as I wished but the full moon provided quite a view regardless.

The wind was wildly beating the hair that had escaped from her braid all around her face as she struggled to keep it tucked behind her ears.

I sat down, hoping she would follow suit, as the maze was just below us and I didn't want her to see it. But it was fruitless, she had walked over to the edge and seen it. I got up and walked to her to ascertain her reaction and she was indeed looking at it with a look that spoke more than her words had.

She looked troubled and couldn't take her eyes away from it.

I had to distract her.

"Come sit with me so we can look at the sky" I said placing my hand behind her arm. "The wind is very strong and the rock will shield us if we're sitting against it" I added noticing her coat wasn't very thick and she hadn't worn her scarf. Even I was feeling the merciless cut of the night wind.

I turned away from it and sat on the floor against the battlement and watched her do the same. Perhaps she'd open to me if I shared something first.

I knew she had to have noticed that while Mum and I were both worried for Dad, we kept some distance between us, not in the way her family was- close and affectionate. But she hadn't asked.

She hadn't seen Dad and I, however. But when she did, she was bound to notice that there was something there. And I didn't want her imagining something unflattering of me, though I wasn't sure the truth was any better.

Perhaps I could acquaint her with that, as difficult as it was to talk about it.

"You know, when I received the call from my mum, I originally didn't answer it" I began. She looked at me.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I had been dodging their calls for months now" I said turning to look at her. She was shaking from the cold. "Do you want to go back in?" I asked worried for her but also regretting I had brought the subject up at all. There was a reason people kept their secrets. I realized that now, as I didn't want to continue divulging mine.

"No! This may be my only chance to be here. It's perfect. Don't worry" she said wrapping her coat tighter around her and bringing her knees to her chest. "Were you guys in a fight?" she asked after a second.

I nodded. Well, I had brought it up. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to continue but I realized, I needed to go further back for it all to make sense.

"When I was thirteen or so, a circus came into town" I began as I took a look at her. She seemed confused. "I promise I'm going somewhere with this" I laughed. "Anyway, there were three girls I liked. I know, I know. It was wrong. But I couldn't make up my mind which one I wanted to ask to come to see the circus with me… so I asked all three, thinking that I'd dump the other two once I made up my mind which one I liked best".

"Will!" she interrupted me scandalized.

"I know… I was stupid and I should have known better and all that" I said somewhat embarrassed. I was not helping my case here. "So, I told my dad when he picked me up from school and asked him which one he thought was prettier. I thought he would congratulate me on getting all three to say yes but he didn't. He got upset and told me to be a man and make up 'my damn mind'. I remember it because at the time he still kept from cursing around me. And also, because it was one of the very few times he gave me any sort of advice or guidance. He was around but 'not around' if you know what I mean" I said looking away from in front of me and into her eyes.

She nodded as if she knew what I was talking about, even though I couldn't imagine how, as her dad didn't seem that sort.

That's when I saw her chin had started shaking a bit from the cold.

"Clark, you're freezing, let's go inside" I said standing up.

"No! Finish the story and then we'll go back" she said patting the floor, next to her. I sighed loudly but agreed.

But once I was sitting, she scooted over and pushed her body next to mine.

I looked down at her with a raised eyebrow.

"You're warm" was all she replied before, "Go on".

"So that always stayed with me, you know, that being a man meant owing yourself to only one woman" I continued.

She snorted.

"Tell that to what's-her-face's friend" she said with a smile.

Was she referring to…? Wait, did she think…?

"Clark… I promise you, I may have flirted with some of my secretaries and other women here and there when I've had a girlfriend, and I'm not saying that was right to do, because it wasn't, but I never took it any further than that" I said seriously, making sure she knew the facts as they were. " _Including_ Lana's friend… I gave her the wrong impression and I knew it… but that was all" I added.

"Don't worry about me. I'm not your mum; I'm not going to scold you" she said with a small smile.

"Lou…" I said.

"It's fine, Will. It's none of my business" she replied.

"I need you to know… you need to know, I have never cheated. _Not ever_ " I said looking deep into her eyes. "My eyes and my words may have strayed, I won't deny it, but I have never physically cheated" I added. I knew my reputation was not helpful to my making a good name with her but at least, I needed to make sure she understood that I did have _some_ morals.

Her face was so close to mine that I could see every micro expression. Her eyes searched mine and then she nodded.

"I believe you, Will" she said earnestly, her eyebrows furrowed in that intense way of hers.

That was a relief to hear. I looked back out into the distance as I recollected where I had been in my story before.

"I eventually moved to London to study and then stayed there to work and, I didn't visit much. I was very caught up in my life and I was enjoying it. There seemed to always be something to do and the more time that passed the less I thought of my parents and Georgina and the less I saw them. Then a few months ago, a hurricane came to Dominican Republic and so we canceled our trip, and I knew I had to come visit then or another year might go by without my coming to Pembroke. So, I just got on the train and came as a surprise" I said then paused, remembering. The hurt came back like a stab to a healing wound and all the anger began to resurface again.

Then I felt her readjust herself next to me and the feeling of her hand sneaking between my upper arm and my side, looking for warmth, was what brought me back to the present and reminded me I needed to control my feelings.

"That was kind of you, to surprise them" she said, her voice sounding very close, with her head next to my shoulder.

I looked at her and chuckled.

"Except I was the one to receive the surprise" I said, clenching my jaw. "My father was walking around town with a woman and kissing her, in front of everyone, no shame at all. There was the man who had taught me to be a man and owe myself to only one woman, kissing someone else, while he was married to my mum" I got it out and it felt like dropping a heavy weight down.

"Will… what did you do?" she asked placing her other hand on my forearm. I wasn't sure if it was meant to comfort me or if she was searching for more warmth.

"I went home and told my mother" I said nodding slowly. "She knew. She had known. She gave me some bullshit about it being a passing thing and she was too old to be alone… I don't know. I didn't stay to listen. I got right back on the train that afternoon and I hadn't spoken to either of them since. Until she left me the voice message on my mobile that he was in the hospital on the verge of death. And there she is right now, sleeping in a hospital for a cheating husband" I finished with a deep sigh and looked down at the floor between my legs.

I couldn't look at her. I didn't know if she was pitying me, or blaming me for not being more forgiving, or just plain wondering why the hell I had told her all that.

"Let's go back inside before you turn blue" I said to her.

"Are you cold?" she asked me for the first time. Honestly, I was so mad from just thinking about it that I was actually hot under my coat.

"No" I replied.

"Can we stay a little longer, then?" she asked, still holding on to my arm.

"If you wish" I said, turning to my previous position. "But if that's the case then come closer" I said opening my coat up to her and lifting my arm for her to get under it. She scooted against my ribcage and I wrapped the side of my coat the best I could around her back while setting my arm down behind her shoulders and around her, wrapping her close to me. Her coat felt cold against my shirt and her breathing was coming out in a vapour.

"I… want to tell you something, too" she said, catching me by surprise. Was she going to tell me about the maze and why she was so afraid of it?

That was why I told her my story after all. I had forgotten all about it.

"Alright, but make it quick. I need my assistant _below_ freezing point when I come back to London. The good ones are hard to find these days, I'd rather not lose you to frostbite" I said with a smile to her, her face now barely inches away from mine.

I gulped and looked up at the moon. I'd better keep my eyes there as she told me whatever she wanted to say as it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep myself from doing something about the closeness of her lips.

Then she took a deep breath and began to speak, shattering my world as I knew it.

.

.

.

.

 **Sorry to leave it there! The chapter was going to end up being too long but worry not, the rest is coming in the next one, which will be another Will POV. Trust me, I have my reasons for breaking the pattern. You'll see.**

 **Thank you to everyone for all your encouraging and helpful reviews! You are all too kind! And thank you to all who read Traynor and Company! (:**

 **Please let me know your thoughts, as always, I look forward to reading them!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Once again, I am sorry for last week's cliffhanger! Thank you for all the feedback you guys sent last chapter, it was** _ **incredible**_ **! Thank you! And happy reading!**

 **Chapter 27**

Helplessness was not a feeling I was used to, or knew how to handle very well. Even in my most desperate days, I always knew there was a way to work things out. I always did it, even when no one thought it was possible.

There was always something that I could do to do away with any feeling of helplessness, it just hadn't occurred to me then. But it always came. And I took pride in it.

But as I listened quietly, horrified, at the words that were leaving her lips, I found myself growing more and more desperately helpless.

My mind raced looking for that idea that I just hadn't thought of. There had to be something!

My fist opened and closed beside me as I felt my nails against my palm, digging them in as much as I could, hoping the pain might bring some clarity to my muddled brain.

I went from anger, to sadness, and then back to anger again, but this time mixed with a feeling of protectiveness that just made me want to wrap my arms around her and never let her go.

I wanted to do something, to protect her, to go back in time and crush their skulls against the rocky walls of the baily, to kiss her until her mind forgot the horrid memories she was reliving. Anything to make it better or to make it all go away…

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you" she said, searching my eyes, with a worried expression.

"No… you haven't" I said assuredly, trying to remain in control of my raging fury.

"You look disturbed… Will, let's go inside. I shouldn't have said anything, there's no use in…" she began but I stayed holding her beside me, glued to the floor. I was too afraid if I moved I might end up looking for someone to land a few punches on.

"I just need a minute… please" I said closing my eyes and biting my lips together as I pressed my closed fist against my forehead.

"Will, it's fine. It happened a long time ago" she said pulling my hand to make me stand but I wasn't budging.

"You don't happen to remember what they look like… anything?" I asked trying to speak normally and to appear like I was handling the situation.

"No, I hardly remember anything, actually. Will, please. I'm sorry I said anything. I was just young and foolish and I shouldn't have…"

"Don't say that; don't say sorry. You've got nothing to be sorry for" I said, some of my anger biting itself out into my words.

"Yes, I do. I was the one dressing like I was asking for it and not being careful enough…" that was it. I stood up with her and grabbed her shoulders tightly in my hands, making sure she was looking into my eyes as I spoke the next words.

"You've got _nothing_ to be sorry for, you hear me? Nothing… there is _not one_ single good enough excuse for anyone to do what they did to you" I said firmly as I gently shook her shoulders. "I don't care if you were… dancing naked in front of them. It still doesn't excuse for single moment…" I paused, taking in a breath to steady my fuming voice, as it trembled from a combination of repressed anger and emotion at the pain she must have suffered, as I saw her eyes becoming glossier and glossier under the moonlight.

Then she blinked and looked down, but I saw the tears that spilled over and so I took her face in my hand and made her look up at me again. She needed to know she had nothing to be ashamed of.

Even then, she tried to keep her teary eyes hidden from my view by maintaining her gaze downwards, but after a few seconds and a shaky breath, she shyly looked up at me again.

Two droplets had already rolled down her cheeks, one on each side, leaving a wet path down her face as they hung from the edge of her jawbone. I took my other hand and brushed them off as well as the one that began falling down a second later.

Then I let my thumb caress her cheeks as I tried to dry her face, her eyes unmoving from mine.

"I'm sorry I made you wear that short dress to the gala" I said, remembering her discomfort as she was admired for her body, her hands hugging her torso, and that scared look that would resurface every once in a while. How could I have been such a jackass? "If only I'd known…"

"Please, you didn't! You have nothing to worry about. I did go back to dressing differently after what happened… but my mom says she can trace my distinctive taste in clothes to when I was very little" she said with a tearful smile.

She was trying to change the subject.

"Really?" I asked, obliging her, and feeling my anger escape as I saw her smile.

"Mhmm" she said nodding. I let the hand that was holding her chin fall, as she moved it up and down quickly.

"Apparently, I had a pair of glittery wellies and bumblebee tights that I demanded to wear all the time when I was three or four" she said with a small chuckle, as she rocked back and forth on her heels, getting dangerously close to me when she would rock forward, making my breath catch in my throat as I struggled not to grab her and kiss her.

Damn it! It was happening more and more often. I needed to do something or one of these times I wasn't going to be able to hold myself back, and would just grasp her waist, pull her body against mine, and ravage those tantalizing lips till they bruised.

"And, uh… what happened to these?" I asked, forcing my brain to remain at the helm.

"I outgrew them…" she said sadly looking down. "And they don't make them for adults" she added, looking up again and shrugging.

"How bizzare…" I said, trying to suppress a smile at the adorable image my mind was conjuring of little Lou wearing glittery wellies and bumblebee tights.

Had she always been this small? She seemed smaller tonight as I saw her hunch and take an uneven breath, then take a look around us, as the wind battled against us in the cold night.

The chilly breeze brought her story back to my mind, front and center. And I wished I would have known her back then so I could have looked for those men and gave them what they deserved. Then again, had I known her, she might have just spent the night with me, instead. But thinking about it and being honest with myself, the old me may have not glanced at this colorful girl twice except to find fault in her.

It made me ashamed of myself to realize it but also admire her more for the person she'd become regardless of her past experiences.

And in that moment, I decided to hug her, if only to keep myself from doing anything else.

I wrapped my arms around her and felt her hair under my jaw as her face rested on my chest.

"You're _so_ strong, Clark… And you deserve every single good thing that can happen for you… and more" I said, right before placing a kiss on her head.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The next few days saw Clark and I back and forth between the house and the hospital, relieving Mum during the day and spending time together in the evenings.

Friday night I suggested we see a film, after we had washed the dishes after dinner. I couldn't help but notice how natural it felt to spend an evening with her, doing nothing more than what an established couple, or even a married one, would do. I knew I was getting ahead of myself by even thinking it but I couldn't help noticing.

And I felt my stomach drop as I realized for the first time, that the idea of being married to… someone, was not repulsive at all as it always had been in the past. Quite the opposite, with Clark it seemed an inviting and attractive one.

I smiled as I watched her walk to the corner of the couch and settle herself there, wearing a violet fuzzy jumper and soft pants with unicorns jumping over clouds and rainbows and socks with bunny faces in the front.

"It's your home. You choose" she had said to me when I asked her what she wanted to watch.

Well, she shouldn't have said that.

Somehow, I felt my taste in movies may not correlate with hers.

I crouched down on the floor in front of the DVD collection my parents had which included some of my own additions from the years before. I quickly skimmed through the familiar tittles till I saw something I hadn't seen in years. I instantly pulled it out before even looking at the rest.

"Mouchette" I said showing her the cover. She looked at the black and white cover apprehensively which made me smile. She was always so cautious around anything unfamiliar.

"What is it?" she asked as she eyed it curiously.

"It's a French film about a little girl named Mouchette who…" I began to say before she interrupted.

"Oh, it's a foreign film?" she asked.

"Yes, being from France, you know?" I answered smiling at her question.

"I don't really like foreign films" she said as she leaned back into the couch with an apologetic face.

"You don't… you do know Hollywood isn't some part of Birmingham?" I asked amused.

"Yes, I know" she said narrowing her eyes at me.

"So, then what is it?" I asked as I sat down next to her.

"It's just hard to watch _and_ read the subtitles" she explained.

"You'll get used to it" I said and got up to insert the DVD. I heard her gasp from the couch.

"We're really watching it?" she asked.

"Yes, and don't move till it's over… never watched a foreign film. Incredible!" I said as I sat back down next to her. She was following me with her eyes as she crossed her arms but I pretended not to notice as I tried to suppress my smile.

An hour and half later she was crying into her sleeve while I looked on satisfied.

"You're going to gloat now, aren't you?" she asked me, smiling slightly through her tears.

"Yes, I think I will, just a bit" I said as I saw her eyes grow droopy with the lateness of the hour.

She said nothing as she hiccupped from all the crying she had done, which in turn, made me laugh out loud even as I'd tried to avoid it.

"You're awful. I can't believe you made me watch this" she said wiping another falling tear.

"So, I take it you didn't enjoy that at all?" I asked.

She paused for a few seconds before she gave me an answer.

"I'm glad we saw it" she said sincerely as she took in a deep breath, then rewarded me with a smile before looking down at her hands.

"Good" I answered and stayed looking at her for a few more seconds of silence.

She lifted her eyes to mine once she noticed my unwavering gaze and looked away shyly but smiling. Seeing her reaction made me feel confident, and content to have been able to elicit it from her.

I smiled to myself thinking of the days ahead. I was in this for keeps, and I planned to bring my A game with me. If she didn't know what it was like to be wanted by Will Traynor, then she was soon going to find out.

0-0-0-0-0-0

The days brought progress to my dad's condition and with that more time awake. Spending some time with him did me well. I still held him in contempt for what I knew he was doing, but with seeing him in this sickly state, all I could think of was that he was my dad.

Sunday came along and Lou and I had train tickets for 9 o'clock. So we got ready early in the morning to say one final goodbye to him and Mum before boarding.

Being that we were going to the station from there, we took a local taxi.

I sweated as we waited for it to arrive and prayed and wished that the cabbie wouldn't be the same man who drove us from the airport and apparently alerted Lou's ex-boyfriend of her arrival here with me. It would make for a very unpleasant drive.

I could have sighed and said "Phew!" out loud when I saw a head of gray hair at the wheel.

I took a look at her but she seemed unaffected for some reason. Whether she was pretending while around me or she actually didn't care, I didn't know. But she had been reacting surprisingly well to her boyfriend having broken up with her.

Other than a few moments I caught her looking into the distance or staring into nothingness while furrowing her eyebrows, I had seen no other signs of grief from her, which made me wonder just how attached she was to this man. I was used to seeing another type of reaction whenever I had called things off with a girl- incessant phone calls, showing up at the office demanding to see me, or surprise visits to my apartment with mascara running down their faces as they screamed at me intelligibly, or even the milder response where I would be approached by her friends with messages from her, or odd questions that were obviously coming from this infamous ex.

I just always thought that was the way of things. So watching her continue her life pretty normally was a little unsettling to say the least. Or just good news for me.

When we arrived at the hospital she asked if she could come up to say goodbye to my parents and I was pleasantly surprised by it. I knew she wasn't trying to earn their favour for any benefit to her, which made it all the more gratifying.

She was very gracious to my mother and thanked her for allowing her to stay in her home, then mentioned how pretty the gardens had looked. I didn't know if she remembered me saying that she tended to them herself now, but regardless it made my mum smile sincerely at her- a rare sight coming from my mother.

Once she had expressed her wishes to my father for him to get better soon, she told me she would wait outside.

As soon as we were alone, I made to begin my goodbye when my father interrupted.

"Will, I need to say something before you leave" he said to me.

"You really don't" I said harshly, knowing where this was going and having no wish to part with my father in bad terms again. We had managed to avoid the subject of his affair so far and I wanted to keep it that way.

"No, Will, please. I feel like I need to. I almost died a few days ago so please, oblige me" he answered. I couldn't believe he was playing that card.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, and tried to bite back my tongue to prepare for his lame excuses that I had no interest in hearing.

"I'm divorcing your mother after this" he said, wrecking all expectations I'd had of where this conversation was going.

"What?" was all I could manage to reply.

"This has made me realize that you never know when your day will come, and Will… I love her" he said looking intently at me.

It took all I had not to say what I was thinking. That my mother had been the one to spend her nights with him now when things were at their worst. That she had stood by him even when he was disrespecting her in the worst way possible, and was still willing to take care of him now that he was ill and needed more looking after. Yet he was choosing this other woman over her?

But I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to start an argument with him and make us late for the train.

"Does Mum know?" was all I asked.

"No" he replied simply. Of course, she didn't know. But he was still letting her spend the nights watching him and preparing to take care of him for the months ahead. "What happened to the tall blonde you were dating?" he asked me when I didn't reply anything.

"Which one do you remember?" I asked, breathing in deeply to remain in control of the anger that was surging through my veins.

"The pretty, tall one…" he said as he looked to be trying to remember her name. "The one you sent a picture of last time?" he asked.

I honestly couldn't remember doing that. I hadn't introduced any of my London girlfriends to my parents nor was I accustomed to sending them pictures of them.

And by describing her as tall, pretty and blonde, he was pretty much describing 80 percent of the women I'd been in relationships with.

And I wasn't in the mood for small talk.

"If it's Alicia, she's doing fine. She's back in London waiting for me" I said trying to think of a way to end the conversation and say good bye in a pleasant way.

"Is she now? With the way you've been looking at that pretty little thing out there, I would have thought there was more" he said stretching his neck to motion me to look at her.

I looked back to see her engaged in conversation with my mother who seemed to have warmed up to her since the garden compliment.

I sighed. Had I had to have been so obvious?

"I like her" I said simply. The words flowed from my mouth like a proverb, honest and true. And once they were out there, it felt like they had been caged and fighting to get out this whole time, to be said out loud, and finally be set free. I felt myself let out a deep breath and my shoulders released a tension that I didn't know they'd had.

I saw him lay his head back into the pillow and smile satisfactorily.

"Then you know how I feel" he said.

"No, I don't, Dad" I said, offended he would compare what he was doing to my situation. "I have stayed faithful to Alicia. I haven't laid a hand on Lou, said a word, nothing! And I won't until I make things right. I don't deny you may love this other woman. And I don't know what your marriage to Mum has been like all these years I've been away. But nothing justifies or makes your actions right" I said, my voice raising louder and louder with each word.

A nurse passing by us shushed me, and a bit my lip to stop from yelling again.

"The only thing I can say I respect is that you're finally letting Mum go, instead of dragging her along as you paraded with some other woman around town" I said disgusted. "But don't think for one moment that I feel sympathy for you or that I would ever do the same" I said trying to keep my tone down, becoming more and more flustered with the conversation.

I felt my emotions getting the best of me, and realized I needed to remove myself before things got worse.

I took another deep breath and let it out before I spoke.

His silence was unnerving.

"I'm glad you are doing better and I hope you recover fully soon" I said as collected as I could, and walked out without waiting for a response.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I knew I should have called Alicia and told her I'd be coming back on Sunday but every time I started to pick up the mobile to call her, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

There was some shame there, I'd admit, in letting myself develop feelings for Lou. But there was also the sense that what I had to say needed to be said face to face, and so I couldn't have a normal conversation with her now, knowing what I meant to tell her once I'd gotten back.

The last time I had spoken to her was when I landed in Cardiff Airport and I had explained what had happened to my father.

She had called a few days later, when I have to admit, I hadn't even noticed the absence of her calls. But the signal was spotty in the hospital and we hadn't even been able to speak, and I hadn't remembered to call her back later.

And even now as Lou and I sat in the train, the last thing I wanted to do was call Alicia. She'd see me soon enough, anyways.

The memory of what conversations Lou and I had in the nine hours or so we were stuck in that train are mostly a blur but what I do remember is how right it felt to talk with her, laugh with her… feel her falling asleep as she unconsciously slid onto my shoulder and rested her head there… and her blushing face when she woke up and realized she'd been sleeping on me.

Once we came out of the station, I was shocked to see Lou's parents, nephew and a young woman whom I'd never seen but I assumed was her sister.

They were waving and smiling at her so proudly. As soon as she saw them she hurried her walk and hugged them all as they laughed.

The scene seemed so odd as people just kept walking by them hurriedly, carrying their heavy bags along and paying no attention to the warm welcome that was taking place.

Bernard was the first to break away from the group and shake my hand and thank me for bringing back his little girl safe and sound.

What I expected was Lou to become embarrassed, as surely anyone would, but she just broke away from the hug she was giving her Mum to give him her most beautiful smile and exclaim: "Aww, dad!" as tears welled up in her eyes and she embraced him, this time from his side.

"It was no problem" I said smiling at the scene before me. If she wasn't the walking representation of morning sunshine then I didn't know what was.

Then he turned his head and kissed her head as he said: "We're so proud of you, sweet pea".

"Lou told us about your dad. We were so sorry to hear it. How is he doing?" her mother asked approaching me.

"He's doing much better, thank you for asking" I replied wondering in what time she had told them, as I didn't recall seeing her calling them. But of course, she must have when she was in her room. It was Lou, after all

"You must be Will" I saw the young girl who was with them say with a smile as she came up to me.

"I am, nice to meet you" I said smiling back but unable to ignore the look of hunger she was giving me.

While normally I enjoyed those kind of looks from women, I found I didn't like it this time and hoped Lou hadn't seen it. I really needed to amend the reputation I'd made for myself if I truly wanted her to consider me as a serious possibility.

"Treena" she said extending her hand towards me. "Nice to meet you, too" she added as I shook it.

Even as the scene radiated love and comfort, I felt out of place and made my escape after a quick goodbye to her and her family, aching for the distance I was about to put between Lou and I for the first time in days.

But I'd see her again tomorrow at the office, and if all went according to plan, I'd be a single man by then.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

My keys jingled as I fumbled with them to get my flat door open. I felt my stomach constrict at the conversation I would soon be having. Alicia was bound to not make it easy for me.

I went back in my head through all I meant to say but it had no effect on the dread I felt as I pushed the door open.

"Shit!" I heard a man's voice say- a man whose voice was too familiar.

My eyes lifted at lightning speed towards the voice and my mind searched for an explanation for why I'd ended up in Rupert's flat. How out of it was I?

But one look around confirmed, rather than denied, that I was indeed in my own apartment.

Yet in front of me was my best friend, hair wet… and, was he wearing my bloody robe?

"What is it?" I heard the familiar voice of my girlfriend coming from the bedroom.

"Darling, I'm home" I called out sarcastically.

"Will! Sweetheart!" I heard as she ran to the living room.

"Rupert" I nodded to him as I felt my eyebrows furrow together and my fists constrict as I dropped my bags on the floor not too gallantly.

Then I saw him lift his chin defiantly at me.

"Well, he knows" he said to Alicia who had poked her head into the room.

"What is there for him to know?" she asked trying to look relaxed but failing miserably.

Did she think me so stupid?

I lifted my finger towards her and opened my mouth to speak but closed it again. My mind knew exactly what it looked like, yet it wouldn't assimilate it. Something didn't correlate about the scene in front of me, yet I felt the previous feeling of dread in my stomach turn to a sour feeling of hatred and betrayal.

"You have two hours. You need to be gone when I'm back" I said and grabbed my motorcycle's keys with my helmet from the table where they sat.

My head was spinning, my blood was accelerating and I had to leave.

"Will, wait! Don't drive angry, please. Let me explain" she begged softly as she made her way towards me.

"Explain? Sure, entertain me and describe just how this isn't what it looks like!" I said cynically.

"It doesn't mean anything, we were just… we've been talking lately since you've been gone for so long now and…"

"Talking? Oh, is that what he was doing, while wearing my bloody robe?" I asked, my blood boiling inside. "And you…" I said turning to him. But I found I didn't know what to say.

"Well, after all you've done to me, can you blame me for looking for someone to console me? After you've been ignoring me and treating me like the last thing in your life?" she asked, starting to cry. Of course, leave it to Alicia to try to turn things around and act like the victim.

"What?" I asked, infuriated. I couldn't believe what was happening. It felt like some awful nightmare I was sure to wake up from any second.

"C'mon, man! You know you could care less about her. I've seen the way you are with any girl who'll give you the time of day" he chuckled. "What did you think no one would come and swoop this one up while you were checking out any and all the girls when we were in Switzerland? Not to mention literally every time we go out for drinks, you're hitting up a storm with whatever hot girl is around" he said to me spitefully.

I felt as if I were being stabbed in the stomach. How dare he accuse me? When he was the first one who was always inviting me to go with him and encouraging me? I felt my throat get tighter and tighter because somehow I still knew he was right. I was the first one who would say it and brag about it. And now I couldn't even deny it.

Could I have brought this on myself? Even considering that possibility made me feel sick.

"Oh, is that good enough reason to sleep with your best mate's girl, then?" I asked, trying to defend myself.

"I think it is, if said best mate is already cheating" he replied disdainfully, his voice growing louder with each word.

"What in the bloody hell are you talking about?!" I exploded. That was the last straw.

"Don't deny it, Will!" Alicia choked out, full on crying now. "My friends saw you with that _ridiculous_ assistant of yours, while you paraded her around London spending all your money on her!" she said, successfully shattering my reality.

Her friends had seen that? And she'd kept it under the table all these weeks? That was the most unbelievable part.

"I will leave, Will. But not because you're leaving me. I'm leaving because you don't _deserve_ me" she said bitterly, straightening up and wiping away the tears from her face.

I shook my head in disbelief. This couldn't be.

"Sod off… both of you" I said tiredly as I grabbed my keys and helmet and slammed the door as I walked out of the flat.

.

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 **A/N- :O**

 **Review..?**


	28. Chapter 28

**Welcome back to Traynor and Company! I do want to address a question I received by many, and say that in this AU Will never becomes quadriplegic. I wanted to create a version of the story where their relationship could be explored if he had never lost the use of his limbs and it will remain that way, so rest assured. Thank you everyone for the immense encouragement I continue to receive from all of you! I do apologize that I didn't get to reply back to everyone last chapter, I'll try to get back to it with this one. Without further ado…!**

 **Chapter 28**

It felt so strangely comforting to lay in my small bed, surrounded by the small walls of my room. I think, for the first time, our current residence felt like more than that. It felt like home.

I was glad to be back, I was! And so glad to see my family again! But it felt so odd to be so far from Will… I had gotten so accustomed to his presence in the next room, to dinner plans with him, or working together in one of our hotel rooms, that being apart again felt… wrong.

I didn't dare consider that I could miss him already…

Oh, I was in trouble…

Mum and Treena had begged for details of everything from the trip all the way home, even though I had talked to them frequently while I was away. But they had such a curiosity for everything I had seen, and I didn't mind talking about it.

It seemed impossible to think I had been to so many places in such a short span of time.

The one thing I wasn't looking forward to elaborating on was the end of my relationship with Patrick. I had put off mentioning it over the phone but I could have no legitimate reason for keeping to myself now.

After an awkward pause, Mum reassured me that I would be fine and would find someone new here. Treena proceeded to scoff, and say she was glad of it, as she always felt I could have done so much better, even though I recall her hinting at the fact that I couldn't seem to draw a proposal from even Patrick, insinuating that it should be easy enough because of who he was. But I just took the compliment and kept the thought to myself. I didn't want to start a fight so soon after getting back, and I was sure she meant to comfort me now. And Dad just backed up Mum's assurances, and with that, the subject was successfully put to bed.

After getting home I had gone straight to see Grandad and tell him how I had missed him. After what I had seen happen to Will's dad, I realized I was lucky to still have my grandfather around, even if he couldn't communicate much. He just smiled at me and nodded. But it was all I needed. I was just happy to see him again.

And then straight to my room. I was avoiding Treena a bit, if I was being honest. I had seen the look she had given Will and the one she'd given me as if to insinuate something between us. I just had a feeling she might want to draw something out of me that wasn't there or just talk about how hot he was.

And even if he wasn't mine, the idea of her admiring him bothered me. He had been something I had been able to keep to myself for once. For the first time ever, I was shining along her for my accomplishments. And my relationship with him as my boss and my friend was unspoiled so far. I wanted to keep it that way.

I could admit to myself what my heart was feeling, but I was afraid that if she drew it out of me… if she made me say it out loud, it would somehow make it more real, more permanent. And then I would lose the little control I had over it.

But unfortunately, I was right this time.

"Please! Tell me he is single!" she said as she burst through the door.

"Treena! Mum and Dad will hear you! What are they going to think?" I whispered harshly as my heart picked up a few paces faster.

I was not ready to have this conversation with her.

"Well, is he?" she said a little more quietly as she sat by me on my bed, eyes wide and a smile from ear to ear.

"I'm afraid to disappoint you, but he is still as taken as he was before" I said trying to appear unaffected by the fact.

"But still, to work for him…! I think just to get to look at him, I'd assist him for free! Lou, you never said how handsome he was! I mean, I figured he was, from how nervous you were to go to the gallery opening with him that one time but, Lou, the man looks like he walked off a page of a Men's Vogue magazine!" she said as she threw her head back and sighed exaggeratedly.

"You know, he's also really successful and very smart" I added, trying to make a point of how she was reducing him to hot piece of meat.

"And rich! Wow! That girlfriend of his sure is lucky" she said looking at me pointedly.

"I guess… how should I know?" I replied growing tired of the conversation.

Just then I felt the bed shift violently as she hopped and got an all fours, her face coming close to examine mine.

"What?" I asked as I felt her inquisitive eyes coming close to my face. "Treena, what are you doing?" I asked laughing at her ridiculously exaggerated expression of a person whose figured out something.

"You _do_ like him! I knew it!" she said smiling devilishly.

"What!" I screamed way too quickly, unfortunately. "No!" was all I could add. I felt caught and cornered.

"You like Will Traynor!" she added in a silly sing-songy voice.

"Treena, what are you, twelve?" I asked trying to laugh naturally.

"I don't blame you, Lou! He _is_ delicious" she said laughing.

"You don't have to blame anybody because…" I tried to counteract, but even I knew my flustered self and stuttering words weren't convincing anybody, much less my sister.

My sudden quietness only beckoned her to laugh victoriously once more.

"I knew it! You should have seen you two, the way you were around each other at the station!" she exclaimed excitedly. "If Mum and Dad didn't pick up on it… hell, I'd bet even Thomas, who's a toddler, could have picked up on it!" she giggled. "Did you guys sleep together?" she gasped.

"No! NO!" I said making emphasis. "And what do you mean 'the way we were around each other'? I didn't do or say anything, did I?" I asked, now worried that I was letting it show, and defeated at being found out about my feelings, even if she was dead wrong about… the other thing.

"You didn't have to, darling" she said proudly as she sat again on the edge of the bed next to me. "It was in the way you moved around him, the way you looked at me as I ogled him, the way you said his name when you were telling us of the trip… I'm afraid to tell you, but you're a goner" she said satisfactorily as she nudged me lightly.

"Oh, this is so awful!" I lamented as I let my head fall in my hands, the hopelessness of the situation I had allowed myself to fall into dawning on me.

"Awful? This is great! You're with him every day! You've got the best chance possible! Now if you'd just dress a little sexier…" she said insinuatingly as she looked me from the side of her eye.

"No! I won't dress differently for him! He knows how I dress normally, it would be so painfully obvious if I changed it! Besides, you know it's not me…" I replied, feeling myself become more hopeless.

"Well, if you won't accept any advice you'll never get him, Lou! Trust me. Men as good looking as Will can have their pick, and you need to capture his attention if you're to have any hope of getting him once that floosy is out of the way" she said, and to my disbelief, I was actually listening a little bit.

I shook my head. I couldn't let Treena get in my head. It felt wrong to treat Will like some prize that I needed to battle other girls for. As much as I felt for him, I wanted to be special to him too. I didn't want to be the one who used her cunning skills to manipulate him into liking her, always feeling like the next best thing could steal him, the way I had feeling his current girlfriend felt, if her jealousy was any indication.

Whether it was with Will or with another man, I wanted to be that special girl to him. That one whom he could love above any other because of everything I am. And I knew I wasn't the typical girl men wanted. I could be loud and overly excited. I dressed brightly and in my own way, which often attracted attention in not a positive way. But one day, I'd like to think someone could love for those things, and not in spite of them.

I couldn't force Will to be that man, no matter how much I wanted it. And I wasn't about to change who I was to trick him into liking me.

"It's quite alright, if I never 'get him', as you say" I said trying to convince myself of it simultaneously. "I wouldn't want to risk this job anyways, and if we dated and broke up, it would certainly cost me the job" I tried explaining to her.

She contemplated me for a few seconds before she spoke as I nervously wondered what she was thinking.

"Alright, sis" she said to my surprise. "But if you ever need any help sexing yourself up…" she said with wink, "I'm across the hall" she finished playfully.

I laughed lightly. As much as we differed in a lot of ways, I was glad to have my sister.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I was back in London. And back to work. And while I was excited to get working with Will on the new companies, things kept feeling strange in a way I couldn't figure out.

I kept wanting to be more familiar with him but kept holding back in fear that it would look strange to the other co-workers. I never had that worry before. Why did I have it now? Was I behaving differently and my mind was trying to warn me?

I kept imagining Miriam's eyes glued to the back of my head the entire morning. I knew that while her assumptions about Will were wrong, there had been some truth to what she had warned me about. Whether it had started with the trip or long before, I couldn't say, but I had fallen for my boss.

I felt so stupid thinking about it while sitting behind my desk. What a cliché I was. And what lack of professionalism I would show if l let on how I felt for him. But how to hide it without making it more obvious? I didn't how I was supposed to act.

Or should I just go on as normal? Should I just be myself around him? Or would I give it away then? Would my change in behaviour alert him more than if I just carried on as usual?

I looked at the clock. It was 11:15 and I had barely gotten anything done this morning. Between chewing on my pen and doodling on my notepad, I had scarcely accomplished anything besides answering the emails that had accumulated over the last few weeks.

"Will!" I gasped as I saw his suited-up torso come into my plane of view. I quickly sat up and put my pen down as I shifted what few papers were on my desk in a desperate attempt to look like I had been busy. The last thing I needed was for Will to think that I had turned lazy or inefficient.

He looked down at me from his stance beside my desk with a quizzical eyebrow.

"Everything alright, Clark?" he asked me seriously. I took a good look at him to ascertain just how serious he was or how much trouble I could be in. I had gotten so comfortable around him over the last few weeks that it was odd to see him as an authoritarian figure again who held my job in his hands. I had to remember no matter what, I was still expected to do it.

But I couldn't reconcile the face that was looking at me with the man I knew.

I couldn't place what it was but he seemed wrong in some way.

"I'm alright, sorry. I feel distracted today" I tried to say lightly. "It's just strange getting back to the routine but I'll be back to my usual in no time" I said reassuringly.

"Oh, that's fine, Clark. I feel the same myself. Just get settled in today" he said kindly though his eyes still told a different story. What was going on?

"How's your dad?" I asked him.

"I haven't talked to Mum today but I assume he's still recuperating. I'm sure she'd reach out to me if anything bad happened" he said, looking into the distance like he hadn't thought about it all day and I'd just reminded him.

"How are you adjusting to being back?" I asked, trying to pry out of him whatever was bothering him.

He looked at me suddenly and contemplated me for a few seconds, then down at his shoes. Something was definitely up but I doubted he would tell me where others could overhear.

"Have you seen Rupert today?" he asked me.

"Not at all" I said, finding it bizarre that he'd follow up my question with that.

"Neither have I" he said taking a glance around the floor.

There was a pause of silence but he wasn't leaving my side just yet.

"Would you like me to run out and get you something for lunch today?" I asked trying to keep up some sort of conversation while he remained near.

"Please do" he said reacting to my question as if getting out of some trance. What was the matter with Will today? "Run to my sushi place and get me the usual" he said placing his card on my desk. "And schedule us a meeting with Alfred tomorrow whenever he is available" he added and with that he walked back into his office.

With an uneasy feeling in my stomach, I got up, hung my bag on my shoulder and began walking to the elevator.

It seemed I wasn't the only who felt out of sorts today.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I pushed the button to my floor on the lift and heard the familiar sound as the little circular light around the number lit up.

I had one paper bag on one hand- with Will's sushi- and a plastic one on the other- with some fish and chips for me. If one thing I had missed from the UK it was our fish and chips. I could smell the aroma escaping the bag as the lift took me higher.

My stomach already rumbled at the thought of eating it. I had let my emotions get the better of myself and I'd gotten the largest portion they had available even though in the back of my head I knew I couldn't hope to eat it all. But no matter, at least I knew I could eat as much as I wanted and didn't have to worry about staying hungry. I felt the smile stretch my cheeks. I must have looked like an idiot to the others on the lift with me, but I just didn't care.

I had planned on using the excuse of dropping off his lunch to ask if there was anything amiss on the hopes that he would be more willing to share in the confines of his office. But smelling my food now made me want to just drop it on his desk faster than a hot potato and running to the lunch room to eat mine.

Thankfully it was still early and I might miss Miriam and Ken. Not that I didn't want to see them or didn't miss them but… was it really so bad that I didn't want to share my food just this once? Was it too much to ask that I be allowed to eat all of my delicious fish and chips all on my own?

I had a feeling it was selfish but… it smelled so good!

I could come back into his office later on some other pretense and ask him then, couldn't I?

Of course, I could! I was nothing if not resourceful!

I tried to not to appear like I was trying to break into a sprint as I did my best to walk calmly from the lift to Will's office. I was silently hoping no one would catch a whiff of my food and ask for some. I couldn't promise that I would be polite.

I pushed his glass door open with my shoulder and tried to give him my best smile.

"Here you are!" I said as nicely as I could before his eyes lifted to meet mine.

He looked awful.

Darn it, Will!

I felt my shoulders slump. My fish and chips were calling me but how could I enjoy them knowing I walked away from him when he might have needed somebody to lift his spirits?

"Want to eat together?" I asked, thinking that was probably the best-case scenario. I also didn't want the food to grow cold.

"Don't you want to eat with your friends after not seeing them for so long?" he asked.

"They eat at one and I don't think I can wait!" I said honestly. "These fish and chips are calling my name!" I said dramatically.

"Fish and chips?" he asked, his interest peaked.

"Yesssss" I said slowly as I drew my bag back away from him before he got any ideas. He didn't like these peasant foods anyway.

"Interesting. From Pete's?" he asked me.

"Mhmm…" I nodded lightly offering no other response as I held the bag between my hands behind my back.

"Good choice, he's the only decent place around" he said with his usual air. Well, that was a good sign. If he was back to being his snobby food critic self, then all must be right. "Come, bring your chair in here" he motioned with his hand once I said nothing else.

"You want to us to eat here?" I asked shocked.

"You've never seen me eat in the break room, have you?" he asked disturbed.

"What's wrong with the break room? Too full of little unimportant people?" I asked mockingly posh.

"Precisely" he said with a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. And that was enough to send my heart aflutter again. Damn you, Will!

I dragged my chair into his office as I ignored the staring looks of the others around me. They could stare all they wanted. I could tell Will needed to be cheered up, and while I didn't want to give the wrong impression to anybody, I wasn't about to leave him sulking all day long to save myself from a little gossip. With the way it was around here, it was more likely that the gossip had already started before we even got back, anyways.

I opened my Styrofoam container and let the steam rise to the top and hit my face. It smelled so gloriously delicious. I watched Will open his much better looking container, labeled with the restaurant's name and everything, unlike my generic one.

I watched him grab his chopsticks and put them between his fingers as I used my hands to pick up a chip and put it in my mouth. We must have looked like an odd pair but to me it just felt good that we could be so different in some ways yet still get along so well.

"Oh, baby I had missed you _so_ much!" I said to my fried fish before taking a big bite of it.

I heard him stifle a laughter before it overtook him and he guffawed out loud.

"Judge me all you like" I said unapologetically as I enjoyed his smile.

"I'm not" he said with a little cough.

"I still don't care" I said playfully picking up another chip. This was every bit as good as I remembered it.

"You know, that does look really good" he said after a small pause.

"Don't even think about it" I said stopping to point a serious finger at him.

"I'll trade you some of my sushi" he said.

"Please, keep your sad little raw fish and cold rice" I said with a scoff as I put up the palm of my hand in front of him in a stopping gesture.

"You know, I am your boss, I could order you" he replied.

"Not while I'm clocked out for lunch, you're not" I said with a cocky smile knowing I was right.

And just as I was taking a mouthful of fried fish with my eyes closed to enjoy maximum flavour, I felt a sense of someone invading my space. I opened my eyes to watch his hand retreating with two chips in hand.

I gasped at the fact that he would be so forward to pick into my food, but also at the smile he was sporting. If that didn't break your heart, then you didn't have one. Why did he have to be so bloody good looking?

I felt the heat rush to my ears and cheeks and my smile grew wider as I struggled to look offended.

"I could report you to Human Resources for that" I said as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat from the effect he was having on me.

"I'd like to see you try" he said cockily. "Because the second I'm fired and you have no one to assist… you're getting the boot, too" he said as he leaned back into his chair and took a bite of one of the stolen chips.

"Touché, Mr. Traynor. Way to cheat the system to work in your benefit" I said pretending to be shocked by his ruthlessness.

"These _are_ good" he said back to normal.

I smiled at him. At least, he wasn't gloomy and out of sorts anymore.

"Do you want more?" I asked looking my extremely large container of fish and chips. As good as they were, I was already feeling myself getting full and realizing what I knew all along- that I couldn't eat all of this no matter how much I wanted to. "You should try the fish, too. It's to die for" I added.

I pushed my container closer to him as he reached into it and grabbed a piece.

"Thank you" he said, sounding like he meant it to heart.

If this wasn't the moment to pry then I didn't know when.

"Will, are you alright? Are you worried about something?" I asked softly.

His eyes shifted to meet mine quickly then away again.

"Is it that obvious?" he said shifting uncomfortably in his chair without meeting my eyes, suddenly very interested in the other chip he was holding. "I might as well tell you, you're bound to find out soon enough anyway" he added trying to stay cool.

"What is it?" I asked worried.

"Alicia and I are over" he said slowly.

"Oh, no, Will! I'm so sorry" I said honestly, though I was surprised a man like Will would be affected so much by it.

"Don't be. I was planning to end things already, I was only waiting to get back to do it in person" he said looking at me.

"Oh" I said, confused. Then why was he so distraught?

"I was getting back to my flat last night, preparing my speech, thinking how devastated she would be…- she always afraid I would leave her at any moment- to find her and my best friend together" he said nodding slowly as he looked straight ahead of him, eyebrows furrowed.

I gasped in shock. How could this be?

"Do you think we picked up some bad luck in America?" he asked me with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You and I both end up dumped within a few days, I think it's no coincidence" he added as if he was actually considering the possibility.

I had comforted him enough these past few days with everything that happened with his dad. I was no stranger to his embrace. But it felt too private for the office. Like there was an invisible barrier here that kept me from offering what I knew he needed.

So I settled for reaching for his hand discretely and squeezing it.

He looked at our hands and at me with a small smile.

"I don't care for Alicia and I being over" he said sincerely as he looked me straight in the eye. "But to lose my best mate in that way…" he added looking away now.

My heart wrenched inside me for him. How betrayed he must have felt… and he lived with her, too. Had they been in his apartment together? And to find them that way? How awful! How could they? But, especially, how could his best friend do that to him?

A squeeze in the hand seemed insufficient.

"What do you say we go out and get pissed out of our minds after work on Friday?" I asked, the words leaving my mouth before I could consider how dangerous they were. "I'd offer today but we can't be hungover for tomorrow's meeting with Alfred" I added, resigning myself to the fact I'd already said it, and I might as well follow along with it.

"I can't picture you drunk" he said apprehensively.

"Oh, it doesn't take much for me, trust me" I said heartily but feeling dread at what I'd offered and wishing I could take it back.

He looked to be contemplating it.

"I might not be able to wait till Friday" was his reply.

I laughed out of relief but also at his readiness for it.

"Just hold it off till tomorrow then, we really can't show up at the meeting with the brown bottle flu, if you catch my meaning" I said lightly.

"I can't promise anything, Clark so I suggest you come ready to handle the meeting on your own, in case I don't show" he said playfully.

"You better!" I said standing up and gathering my things.

"Can I keep the rest of the chips?" he asked eyeing my container.

"Sure" I said smiling and rolled my chair back to my area.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Will Traynor! If you are trying to scare me, well done! You've done it! Now can you please call me back? The meeting is in twenty! Where are you?" I said into the phone desperately.

This had to be the tenth or more voicemail I left him.

It was 10:40 and he hadn't shown up to work. Will Traynor didn't simply _not_ show up to work.

And why wasn't he answering me?

I had called, texted, even emailed in case he would check it from his BlackBerry… I didn't know what else to do!

I didn't want to imagine the worst but what else could I do?

He was never without his mobile, and he never missed work, and if he ever did, I'm sure he would tell somebody, especially his assistant, for instance!

And I would have asked Rupert who finally deigned to show his face here today, but I knew he was now the last person to know anything about Will's whereabouts.

At least, I knew he wasn't in jail from murdering Alicia and Rupert in their sleep or something. And Rupert showed no signs of even having been in an altercation the night before.

I couldn't take my eyes off the lift door. Every time I saw it open, I jumped up only to watch somebody else get off.

It was now ten minutes to ten. Should I call Alfred and cancel? But what if Will showed just in time? Then he might be upset I canceled without his telling me so.

My heart was beating so loudly inside my chest I was sure it had to be heard by others. It hurt already from the constant shattering of my hopes every time I heard the doors open to see it wasn't him.

I decided to try his mobile again.

The beep of his voicemail sent another pain thrashing in through my chest.

"Will, please, just call me back. Why won't you call me back" I said almost breaking into sobs. I had to keep from thinking the worst but it was the only thing that made sense.

I remembered him joking the day before about not being able to wait till Friday to get drunk but he wouldn't actually do it, right?

He said it himself, that he wasn't so upset at losing Alicia, but could he react like this over Rupert's betrayal? Could this bring out the worst in him and make him do things that were out of his character?

Still, the thought of him sleeping it off somewhere was the better of the alternatives right now…

It was too late to cancel with Alfred over the phone.

I stood up, ran my hands down my skirt to smooth it, and began to walk to the meeting room. More than likely he was already there.

Alfred was impossibly strict when it came to punctuality and usually expected you to arrive at any meeting at least twenty minutes early, if only to sit there and wait for him.

He might be angry we were canceling this late but he would surely be worried that Will could be in trouble, wouldn't he?

Will was his golden boy, everybody knew it.

His eyes lifted from the table the second I came into view.

"You're late" he said. "Where's Will?" he asked harshly.

"I don't know. He hasn't come in" I said letting my concern show on my voice.

"What!" he said slamming his hand on the table, even making me jump a little.

"Something must have happened! I can't even reach him on his mobile. I'm really worried" I said trying to get him to think about Will's safety. Maybe that would placate his anger.

"Bloody waste of my time…" he murmured as he stood up, and without another look at me, he left the room.

Was I the only one who cared?

I went back to my office to drive myself insane imagining what scenarios could explain his absence but coming up empty.

Who could I call? Who could know where he was?

Alicia wouldn't anymore. I didn't have any of the numbers of his friends. I was too afraid to call his Mum just to worry her… unless something urgent had taken place with his father and he had taken off to be with his parents.

I decided I had to exhaust all my options.

"Hi, Camilla, do you know anything of Will?" I asked as soon as she answered. I was too flustered for pleasantries at the moment.

"No, you're his assistant. Isn't it your job to know his whereabouts?" she asked. I didn't even care if she was insinuating anything lacking in my work. I was too worried.

"He never came into work this morning and he's not answering my calls or messages. I just want to know that he's alright. Can you give him a call and let me know if you get ahold of him?" I pleaded.

"Sure. I'll call you back in a moment" she said and clicked.

The minutes were unbearable. My eyes were switching from the clock to the lift and back every few seconds.

She finally called back after seven minutes and I answered within seconds.

"He's not answering me either, Louisa" she said sounding worried herself now. "I left him a message to call me back. If he does, I'll contact you immediately" she finished.

"Thank you" I said, not knowing what else to say or do with myself.

I stayed in that maddening state until two o'clock when my phone rang with his contact picture and number on the screen.

"Will! Do you know how worried sick I've been?! I could choke you with my own two hands! I was going mad! Where are you?!" I asked, everything coming out of my mouth in one desperate breath.

"Is this Clark?" asked a confused voice that didn't sound like Will.

"Yes, who is this? Why do you have his cellphone?" I asked, my worry coming back with full blunt force.

"I'm Nathan. I'm a nurse here at King's College Hospital. He asked me to give you a call" the man on the other line said.

"What! Oh, my god! Is he alright?" I asked, my hand coming to cover my mouth as tears sprung to my eyes within seconds.

"He is, he's just little beat up but he's going to be alright. He's just broken some bones and can't really hold the… here, I'll put it on speaker. He wants to talk to you" the man said.

"Lou?" I heard his voice say.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach!

"Will! I've been going insane; how could you not have called me before? I thought the worst! I thought you were…" I stopped. I couldn't say the word. I began to choke on a sob but took a breath to stabilize myself. I felt embarrassed at how badly I was reacting to all this. I felt like I should have been more collected or something.

"I'm sorry, Lou" he said apologetically. "I was in surgery and I've just been brought back to my room and I asked the nurse pushing my stretcher to find my things and give you call. Did you cancel with Alfred?" he asked.

"Who bloody cares about that? What happened to _you_?" I cried, desperate to know.

"I was hit by a cabbie this morning. I was crossing the street and I didn't see him and he didn't see me. I've broken every bone in my body apparently" he said laughing or crying, I couldn't tell which. "I can't even hold the mobile to talk to you…" he added and paused again.

"Have you called your mother yet?" I asked thinking of her worrying over her only son.

"No, I didn't want to worry her" he said.

"Too late. She's worried. I had to call her to find out if she knew anything" I said to him. "So, you'd better call her and tell her what happened before she ends up next to your dad with a heart attack as well" I added.

"Alright, I'll call her right away" he said. His voice sounded raspier than usual and I wondered if it had to do with the accident.

"I'm leaving now. I'll see you in a few minutes" I said and hung up before he could argue with me, already grabbing my bag and my coat and taking off towards the lift.

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 **A/N: Please don't kill me! (ducks behind my pillows) I had the outline of this story leading here from day 1, but I do promise, he will not be quadriplegic in this AU. I feel like the accident had a big impact in who Will is in Me Before You and I felt it had to happen in some form, to fully develop his character into who he needs to be to love Lou wholly.**

 **I do apologize for leaving it here again but this story gets out of my hands and the chapters just keep getting longer and then I have to cut them off where I didn't plan to!**

 **Just to give you all an idea though, this story has about ten more chapters to go if all goes according to plan. Please hang in there!**

 **As always, feedback is sooo highly appreciated! Thank you all so much!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hello everyone! Before I start this chapter I just wanted to take a moment to once again thank you all who read this story, you are all wonderful! And also I wanted to say that I personally know how hard it is to wait for a story to update, so rest assured that the moment I have the chapter ready, it is updated on the website. I don't make you guys wait on purpose. Thank you all for your amazing patience and sticking with the story!**

 **Chapter 29**

My BlackBerry buzzed again from the bag with my personal effects on the other side of the room. The clock on the wall said it was almost two o'clock, and I could already imagine that it was Lou's picture that was popping on the screen of my mobile.

I'd missed our meeting with Alfred and what was worse, I had never even showed up to work.

I'd been slowly coming back to consciousness for the last hour or so since they were wheeling me out of surgery, apparently.

My mind was less foggy now, and I could recall more clearly a few memories of how I had ended up here.

I remembered walking across the street while on the phone with Jeff. Then I registered something black fast approaching, then pain everywhere.

Someone fearfully asking me if I was alright, then lights… an ambulance ride, I'm sure of it now. Then bright white lights above me as I heard the words 'internal bleeding' a few times, and I made the connection that it must have been me. But above all, I remembered pain, just everywhere.

Then waking up to see a male nurse wheeling me through the halls of a hospital and leaving me in this room.

A different one had come in a few minutes later and talked to me about what happened and checked my vitals.

All I knew was that I had to get word to Lou that I was here. I knew how she must be worrying, and most likely it was she who kept calling.

And then, I had to get out of here and get to work. I'd have to have a talk with whatever doctor was overseeing my case to see how fast we could get me back on my feet. I had three companies that needed me to get working on them right away.

I had no time to waste.

But both my legs were in casts, and so were my arms, in different parts. I scarcely recalled the nurse who had talked to me earlier saying that one of my shoulders was broken, and that so was the arm that I had landed on, once the car had thrown me off…

Said I was lucky to be alive, and that my spine had not broken in the accident. But it was hard to see the lucky part when it seemed like every other bloody bone in my body was broken.

I couldn't even reach the button to call a nurse to come in here and answer my mobile.

I wanted to get angry, but I couldn't even do that. My head was hurting, but like an afterthought. I could tell I was being medicated for the pain, it just didn't quite reach my entire headache.

"Hey!" I called out when I saw the nurse who'd talked to me earlier walk by hurriedly.

"Everything alright, man?" he asked popping his head in through the door.

"Can I get some help in here?" I asked groggily.

"Sure thing. I'll be here in a minute" he said and walked off again.

Great…

He did come back in a few minutes though.

"What can I do for you?" he asked as he clasped his hands together.

He looked to be about my age and I wondered what could have persuaded him to work in a hospital when there were so many better choices out there than being around whiny sick people all the time.

Then again, I should be thankful that he is here.

"I need to make some calls, let people know I'm here" I explained. "Can't really do it myself" I added forcefully while motioning to my incapacitated limbs. "My mobile is in that bag over there. It's been going off".

He walked over to it and pulled it out.

"Yeah, you've got quite a few missed calls and messages…" he said as he clicked a button on the keyboard. The way he said it made me think it was more than a few.

"I figured… didn't exactly show up to work today" I said.

"Mostly from a Clark… oh, it's a girl!" he said surprised as he showed me the screen he had opened when he had selected her missed calls. It showed her contact picture. It was a picture I'd taken myself of us when we had walked in Times Square. Her smile was as bright and lovely as ever in it, and even I was smiling widely, as I rarely ever did in pictures. It wasn't my usual half smile that was meant to make girls swoon but just a genuine wide smile. It brought me back to how much fun we'd had that day as I showed her around New York City. I had gotten sick of myself smiling like an idiot every time she stared wide eyed at something I would point out to her, or a landmark that she'd always seen in movies but never thought she'd see in real life.

"It's my assistant" I replied as I saw him eyeing the picture.

"Oh, really?" he asked and looked back at it with some increased interest. "Pretty" he added as he looked back to me for a second before looking at the picture again.

Yes, I knew she was. And she was also not… well, she _was_ available, technically, but not for him and if he thought for a minute that I was going to let him chat her up…

"Call her back please, and let her know what happened… I can't really hold the phone" I said as I tried to remain calm at my situation.

I saw him dial back and hold the phone to his ear. I knew the moment she had answered because even at a distance her voice was loud enough that I could tell she was giving him an earful, probably thinking it was me.

He was trying to explain things to her but I was getting restless with him. He had no experience dealing with Clark, and was barely getting two words in at a time.

"Just put it on speaker and bring it over" I said rescuing him from the overload that this girl could be, especially after a whole day of worrying.

But once I started talking with her, I started to feel guilty to have put her through all this. She really sounded distraught and shaken up.

And before I knew it, she had said she was coming here, and had hung up.

"Do you need to me to dial your mother, then?" he asked me as he held the mobile on his hand close to my face.

"I guess I'd better, huh? Since Clark already spilled the beans…" I said thinking of how my mother didn't need something else on her plate. She couldn't come to see me with Dad still in the hospital recovering, but I knew how she felt about people being on their own in hospitals.

Then again, if Dad had told her about how he meant to divorce her, she might not mind leaving him there too much.

I hated to lie to her, but since she didn't know Alicia and I were over, I'd have to tell her Alicia would be looking after me.

As it stood, however, I was pretty much on my own here.

Which was alright with me. I was a grown man of thirty two. I could handle things on my own.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"When do I get to talk to the doctor?" I asked Nathan as he hung up the call with my mother.

She had been understandably upset, and had asked if Alicia was staying with me. I had hesitated to answer, but lied anyways. I didn't want her to take off and come over here. I didn't need to be fussed over. It all looked worse than it was. I'd be back on my feet soon.

The new companies weren't going to manage themselves. In the meantime, I could tell Clark what to do, and she could be at the helm while I was hospitalized, which I wasn't expecting to be very long, if I had anything to say on the matter, and I planned to.

Then I could take over before anyone even realized. I might need her to work for me here, to answer my calls for me and so I could guide her on what to do. We could make it work. She might even have some ideas of her own. She had proven she could think for herself, too, and do it well.

While I was hurting and my mind was sometimes getting foggy, I didn't want to let this stop me. Alfred had been extremely anxious about my performance at work lately and the last thing I needed was for him to doubt me even more because I had been in this accident and would be limited.

It was just a few broken bones that would mend soon. I always had a good body for recovering from these things. It wasn't my first time breaking something, though it was the first time that it wasn't the result of some stunt or other.

"He should be making his rounds again tomorrow. For now you're meant to rest and let time take care of things" Nathan said as he typed away on the computer in the room.

"What kind of guy is he?" I asked Nathan. I needed to approach this like a business deal, and knowing your opponent was crucial.

"Dr. Stevens? He's a good doctor, don't worry. You're in good hands" he answered absentmindedly as he continued his job.

"No, I mean, is he really uptight? Old? Young? Easy-going? Takes his time thinking about things or goes with his gut? That kind of thing" I specified. I had to go about this the right way if I wanted to get released as soon as possible.

"Why?" he asked, his interest peaked now.

"I need to get out of here soon, you know?" I explained.

"There's no rush, buddy. The important thing is for you to get well" he said as he gave me one of those nurse looks that are meant to look encouraging.

"There _is_ a rush. _I_ am rushed" I said firmly, hoping he understood I didn't mean to stand by as they kept me here as long as they wanted because they wanted to be overly cautious. "I have a job to get back to. And it's not the kind that gives you 'sick time'" I added, hoping I could be more intimidating, but I _was_ wrapped in bandages and casts almost all over- not a very threatening image, I had to admit.

I saw his comforting nurse look morph into an unexpectedly formidable frown.

This would be so much easier if they'd just given me a female nurse.

"We understand that being here is inconvenient for everyone, but it's our job to assure our patients that when we release them, it's because they are fully well. You will be released as soon as that is the case for you" he said professionally firm.

I hoped to be more successful at negotiating with the doctor himself.

But then I heard a loud female gasp behind the nurse.

Lou was here!

"It's not that bad" I said as I tried to look around Nathan to see her.

He finally moved out of the way and it was my turn to gasp.

She looked… different. But not different in the way she usually did, or in the way she had dressed for our public functions.

I took in her entire image from head to toe. I couldn't help myself.

She had styled her hair in soft waves, not like her usual side braid or funky hair dos. She was wearing metallic pink lipstick and a pearl necklace with a blue butterfly pendant. She had on a white button up shirt with embroidered flowers along the chest and it was tucked into a black high-waisted pair of black trousers with thin spread out white stripes. And she had on matching metallic pink pumps.

But the most awe worthy part may have been the way her large brown eyes sparkled under a thin layer of moisture, as it pooled around her lower lids, and knowing that that look was for me.

"Well, you've dressed up! And here I am looking like wreck… literally" I said trying to joke as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Will…" she said lifting her hand to her mouth before stepping closer and taking in all of the damage that had been done to me. "How are you feeling?" she asked as she stood by my bed.

"Great! I'm under all kinds of medications so I'm all good" I said smiling at her, pleased that she was here.

"What's the extent of his injuries?" she asked, turning around to face Nathan, who had been giving me an insinuating thumbs-up a second before. But as her body shifted towards him, he straightened up and proceeded to go into full medical terms as he explained the extent of the brokenness of my body.

She just nodded as he spoke. I couldn't see her face but I could just imagine her eyebrows furrowing as she focused on every word he said.

"How long do you expect recovery to last?" she asked, but as Nathan began to speak again in his overly complicated fancy terms, my mind began to wander to pleasanter thoughts, like the way her bum looked in her new trousers, as she faced away from me.

But my ears perked up when I thought I heard him say something about '6 months'.

"Pardon me, do you mind saying that again?" I asked, trying to sit up unsuccessfully.

"I was telling Miss Clark how your full recovery is expected to last 3-6 months. Of course, you won't spend all that time here, but you will need extensive therapy and a modified lifestyle till all the affected parts have healed fully" he said but I was sure I was hearing him wrong.

"I've just broken some bones. Never heard of that taking that long" I said menacingly, as if my demeanor would change the outcome.

"Your knees were severely damaged by the crash. You had to have surgery done. And it wasn't just broken bones, you've got torn ligaments… it's more complicated than that. But the doctor will be in tomorrow morning to explain everything fully" he said growing anxious and turning his attention back to Lou and beginning to step away. "Excuse me" he finished, and with another nod, he was out of the room. All the better for him.

I felt my chest constrict and my head began to hurt again. I let it fall back against the pillow, which in turn rubbed a scrape on the back of my head, sending a jolt of pain through it.

I hissed as I tried to contain the scream that wanted to escape, and closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to look at her right now.

"I can make this work. He's just a bloody nurse. Doesn't know what he's talking about. I don't know why you even bothered asking _him_ " I said to Lou, more angrily than I meant.

"Of course, we'll make it work" she said smiling, kneeling by the bed as her eyes looked for mine.

I was so angry, so disheveled by what he'd said, by the possibility that I'd be made to put my life on pause for 6 months… I just couldn't.

Finally, I let a breath out and turned my head to look at her.

"Go to work tomorrow, do what you can without me there. I'll get back to you with a more _accurate_ return date, and you can give that to Alfred. I'll be back to work very soon, I promise you" I said, more intensely than I meant. This bloody headache was making thinking, feeling, hard… "Then, I'll guide you as to what to do and you can carry the companies… Don't say you can't do it, because I know you can, Clark!" I said before she even got a word of complaint out. "I'll see about you getting paid more for covering for me" I added pensively. If she would take over my position for the time being, then she needed to be compensated properly.

"How can you be thinking of work…?" she asked as I noticed her baffled look. "I thought you were dead, Will!" she added sentimentally, as she wiped a tear that fell down her cheek, and something in my chest tugged at seeing it, and I cursed so much inside me because I couldn't move my arm to wipe it away.

"Me, dead? …You won't be rid of me so easily, Clark" I said smiling to her, knowing what she didn't, that I meant much more by my words than I let on.

Seeing her here, crying over me, worrying over me as no one else would have done… it made me realize one thing.

Who cared if Rupert had turned out to be such a worthless excuse for a friend? Or that Alicia had left me for him?

I had something so much better in front of me. And she was all that mattered.

She took my hand as it laid on the bed and held it. I couldn't lift the arm but I could hold her hand back, and being able to at least do that, released a pressure inside me and lifted something off my shoulders, even if it was minimal.

Her face came to rest on the bed, her forehead resting on my hand and I took advantage of her not seeing me, and just closed my eyes and enjoyed her touch.

And as much as my heart ached to tell her everything it wanted to, and to relieve itself from all it had been suppressing, I knew that to turn to her now, when I had no one, would only make her think that I was taking her as my last resort, as if I had waited till there was no one else left.

And she needed to know that even if I had everything in the world, I still preferred her.

I may not be in that place right now but I would soon be back there, and when that time came, I wouldn't let anything get in my way, not again.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Clark, how'd it go?" I asked, desperately into the phone, not caring if Nathan was seeing me react this way.

It had been actual torture to wait the last two hours.

I had spoken with the idiot of an excuse for a doctor that I had been assigned- a guy who hardly looked a year older than me, telling what I could and couldn't do, and what I had to do.

Arguing had no effect, but argue I did.

He was unmoved.

I demanded to get a second opinion, only to be spoken to like a bellicose child, and told if I didn't follow his instructions to the minimalist detail, my recovery would only take longer.

I fumed, as I waited for the useless excuse of a day nurse that was that idiot Nathan to deign himself to come see me, so I could ask for him to call Clark, like I was some worthless invalid.

Then I had to explain to Clark, in front of him, how everything he had said the day before had, in fact, been accurate.

I refused to look at him as I spoke, but I expected he must have sported a very proud look as he held the phone on speaker to my face while I validated all his words.

Thankfully, he said nothing, and just asked if I needed anything else.

I wished I could have waved him away, but once again was demoralized by having no choice but to actually use my words, the only bloody thing in my body that seemed to be working right now.

The idea of months of therapy, being taken care of… oh, yeah, there's talk of me even needing a bloody care-taker like a bloody two-year-old, the idea of it all was maddening.

How could I expect to be anything to Clark when I was at my lowest? How could I suppose that no other man would snatch her up in the meantime?

I was such an idiot to think of her as I did when I first met her. I thought her so little, so insignificant, so unremarkably common and simple, unknowledgeable and lacking in any depth…

I thought myself so high above her, so far as to think her the least dangerous prospect from again dividing my attention from my girlfriend.

It was humiliating to think of that time, of how the idiot was me, not to recognize what was in front of me, not until I had nothing to offer.

Why hadn't I broken things off with Alicia before? I knew I felt nothing for her. And I couldn't deny I didn't begin to see how special Lou was with plenty of time to let Alicia go.

But no, my pride was boosted by knowing I had a girl like Alicia quivering in fear that I was going to leave her, and how could I let that go? What a prat…

And now she was free, free to choose anyone. Why, even bloody Nathan thought her pretty from only a picture. Who was I to say he wouldn't ask for her mobile number the next time she came by?

He'd better not ask for it in front of me, that's for certain, or else I can't say I'd stay quiet. I don't know what I would say, but I don't feel like I could stand by as she gets chatted up by some other bloke.

I could only hope to be out of here and back to myself sooner, rather than later, and that she'd still be unattached by then.

I could do it. They wanted me to do therapy? I'd throw myself into it. It could be another challenge for Will Traynor to tackle.

"Hey, Will" Lou waved as she popped by the door.

"Hey, you" I replied with a smile. It was a surprise to see her again today. I thought she would call with Alfred's response, not come again. She had sat with me till very late the night before, after all. "I see you are wearing your own clothes again" I said, noting the familiar outfit- red jumper with cat faces, and white skirt with large blue polka dots, accompanied by her yellow pumps and navy blue tights. And she'd paired it all with a red headband.

"What do you mean?" she asked with a shy smile as she came and sat by me.

"You're going to tell me yesterday's outfit came from your closet?" I asked skeptically.

"As a matter of fact, it was" she said defiantly as she picked up her chin higher against my snub.

"What was up with it, honestly?" I asked, still curious about it. Not that she didn't look good in her usual, but yesterday she had almost made my jaw drop.

"Well, if you must know… I wore it thinking of the meeting we had with Alfred, and how he's been giving you a hard time lately, and I thought I should try and look more traditionally professional" she said sincerely.

I nodded understandingly.

"You don't need to do that. You don't have to excuse yourself for who you are to anyone" I replied after a moment.

"I know. I just wanted to do anything I could to make it better" she said apologetically.

"Sorry I didn't show" I said after a second.

I was expecting something else of a reply from her, but her eyes dropping to her lap bore an expression that made me uneasy.

"What did Alfred say then?" I asked. "You didn't have to come all the way here to tell me. A phone call would have been fine. It wasn't in the job description that you have to visit your boss in the hospital, you know?" I said jokingly.

"I know" she replied with an earnest look. "Will…" she began again, but stopped mid-open mouth. "Alfred doesn't want to wait for you" she said, swallowing hard afterwards.

"What do you mean? You took all the paperwork to him, didn't you? What? He doesn't think I can do it from here? Did you say you'd be doing most of the work that I couldn't do?" I asked, my voice becoming more desperate with each question.

"He hardly listened to a word I said after I said you'd need a few weeks at the minimum before you could come back to work, and even then, you'd be limited. He didn't care. He almost got up and left the room at that point, I…" she stopped as her face constricted with guilt. "Perhaps, I should have worn yesterday's clothes, again" she said as she began to tear up.

I wasn't used to all this crying from Lou lately. It made me uneasy and anxious, as if it was my sole responsibility to make sure she never had a reason to cry again, and I just kept failing.

"What does he want from me?" I asked, still confused as to what it all meant.

"Nothing, from you or me" she stated. "We're… dismissed" she added.

I chuckled.

"You're joking, right?" I asked, not totally amused.

"Will, I don't think… I don't know what happened, I thought he'd do anything to keep you on. You're so valuable to his company" she said, but stopped as I looked away.

I knew the words she'd said. I knew what they meant in the literal sense, but it was like being told that two plus two was three. I could hear the words and understand their meaning but it couldn't register or make sense in my head.

What could it mean then?

"Clark, let me see if I heard you right. When you use the term dismissed you are referring to…" I said inviting her to continue.

"Indefinitely" she answered simply.

I closed my eyes. This couldn't be. If this girl was joking with me… she wouldn't be, not about this, not my Clark.

I wanted to run my hands through my hair, rub my eyes, throw something… and I couldn't even bloody do that.

I breathed in and out, in and out, it was all I could do to manage the rage that wanted to rip me apart.

I prayed for her hand in mine at least, and it was as if she was reading my thoughts, as within seconds she was giving it a reassuring embrace.

And that was what grounded me, brought me back in the moment, and reminded me she had just lost her job as well. Without me to assist, she had no position there. She had been my hire and along with getting myself fired, I'd gotten her dismissed as well.

"I'm sorry, will you be alright?" I asked, looking at her.

"I'll find something else" she shrugged, her eyes glued to mine as if she wanted to transmit something that she wasn't saying.

"I'll keep your number for when I'm hiring for my new assistant" I said trying to sound chipper, but already feeling the hole of her absence.

"Or partner" she said with a raised eyebrow. "For your own company, of course" she added as if she'd realized how that statement could be misconstrued.

"My own company?" I asked, slowly, out loud, then looked up as I felt as if a spark was lighting up above me.

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 **A/N: And so our story keeps moving forward (: I hope you are continuing to enjoy it. Thank you for reading! Please let me know your thoughts!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hi, everyone! So sorry for taking longer than usual to update. I was away on vacation and it was difficult to find time to write. Also this chapter was quite challenging. Thank you so much for continuing to read Traynor and Company. It brings me so much joy to know this story is being enjoyed by so many! You are all so wonderful! Happy reading!**

 **Chapter 30**

"How's it going, lamb?" my dad asked me across our small table as we both ate up our eggs.

"It's really odd not to get up in the morning and go to work, honestly" I said, letting my shoulders fall. "I miss it" I added with a small sigh.

Though it was Saturday, and I never worked that day anyways, it had been three days now that I didn't go to Roberts, Foster & Powell's. And it was still baffling me the way Will and I were let go. We had come back on such an adrenaline rush, after making such great purchases for the company, ready to eat up the world and do what no one had ever done. Will was at his peak at the company, or so I thought, and it felt so good to know I had helped him to get there.

And then, out of nowhere, poof! It was all gone. His livelihood and mine, just like that. I had been told that London was a tough place to live in, and I had thought I was handling it so well… I guess this is what they meant by it. Things could be going so great one moment, and it could all fall apart the next.

I had been breaking my head as to what my plans were now. All my plans these last few months had revolved around my job and Will, and doing my best to help him succeed. It fulfilled me, and made me happy. It drove me forward, and gave me a reason to smile. It gave me a sense of purpose and pride, and a sort of distinction in my family. For once, I was the shining star. I was the one my parents bragged about when they spoke to relatives or old friends on the phone. I saw that smile on their faces and that twinkle in their eye when they indiscreetly told others how much I was making, and what company I worked for, how I got to travel and do all this glamorous work.

And now I was back to zero. I could apply for a similar position, but the idea of working for anyone but Will… it was incomprehensible to even imagine. I hadn't realized the strength of my feelings till now, when I was faced with the prospect of not seeing him every day, and not having an excuse to talk to him or remain in his life. It made a hole swell up inside my chest and my throat got tight and my eyes began stinging.

It had already happened around my family a few times these past few days and I'd had to leave the room quickly before they realized I was on the verge of tears.

Yes, we had talked of the possibility of one day opening up our own company together, but it was more wishful thinking on my part than anything. He hadn't seemed averse to the idea but we hadn't talked about it seriously, not really. Not with everything else that was going on with him. And why should he think of it seriously? He didn't need me, not really. Sure, I was a good assistant, but that was the extent of my role- assist. He had all the smarts, all the knowledge and experience. He had been the one to go to Uni and he had all the contacts. What did I bring to the table? I knew how to keep up with his schedule and manage it? How to write up proposals? He could do all that on his own. He didn't really need me. Not one bit. And the idea that my uselessness to him now could mean the end of our friendship, if it could even be called that, made anxious and jittery.

I had been doing my best to show him that I was friend worth keeping around. I'd been sitting with him at the hospital, bringing him the Financial Times and reading it to him every day, to help him keep up with all the new developments in the business world, and so he wouldn't feel like he was being left behind. And I'd been trying to help keep him positive, even though it was a challenge for him at the time. He had lost so much in so little time. I couldn't help but sympathize and wonder if I wouldn't be as moody in his position. His dad had fallen ill, his girlfriend had cheated on him with his best friend, and now he had lost his job- possibly the most important thing in his life- if the amount of time he dedicated to it was any indication.

And I had to admit that I hadn't really seen anyone else come to see him while I'd been there. Of course, I was only there a couple of hours a day, perhaps, so his friends could be coming at other hours of the day, naturally. And his mom hadn't been able to leave his father yet. Therefore, I felt like I should be keeping him company.

But I didn't want to become a pest, either.

I knew he was happy to see me, as he'd seem bored out of his mind whenever I'd seen him through the glass before he had a chance to see me. But for some reason, no longer than two hours after I'd arrived, he'd start asking me what else I was going to do with my day, if I was looking for new work, and reassuring me that I didn't have to sit with him all day. I didn't want to think he was trying to get rid of me, but it certainly looked and felt that way.

Perhaps boredom was preferable to my company. Had I imagined all the times when it had felt like we were genuinely good friends?

I was aching to go see him again, to try and make him laugh. Also, being cooped up at home was making me restless.

I watched Dad give Mum a kiss and head off to work, and I envied him. He had somewhere to go and something to occupy his mind. I was sick of watching telly, and I couldn't help Mum with anything. It was already hard enough for her to find anthing to clean around our small flat, without my taking away any chores.

And while I enjoyed talking to Grandad, it was always, unfortunately, one-sided.

Even Thomas was gone, who was usually good for a laugh or to play with. Treena had taken him for a playdate at the park with some of her other single-mum friends she'd met there. She'd asked me if I wanted to go with but I couldn't bear to think of what our conversation would be. It'd probably be me explaining over and over again to each of her friends how I wasn't working or studying anything and I was pretty much just taking up oxygen in my home, while they looked at me judgmentally and spoke of their accomplishments as mothers and as women.

I took enough of that from Treena. I didn't need or want to hear it from anyone else.

The good thing was Dad was making enough to cover mostly everything, and so my loss of income was only bad news for me.

I watched the clock strike second after second, but time seemed to stay still. How long before I could go see Will?

I'd been going to the hospital around 10 a.m. the last couple of days and he had always done his bit about where I had to go or what I had to do. So today I was going to go at 1 p.m. and see if a little extra boredom helped my welcome.

I thought I could even try to find him one of his fancy food favorites and take it to him. It could cheer him up some. That idea lifted my spirits and I started brainstorming about what to get him.

Ice cream from the shop we'd gone to that one time would not be a good idea. It would melt before I could even get it to him. I'd get him his favorite sushi, but it was wildly expensive and I was without a job, so I needed to be mindful with what money I had left. There _was_ that strange dessert we'd had back in Miami that he'd said he loved… what was it called? Something in French…

Perhaps I could go to the library and do some research on French desserts and see if I could figure out what it was. Then I could search the Business Directory for a French bakery. Surely, there had to be one in London. If one thing I'd learned about living in a big city, is that there was shop for anything and everything.

Having something to do cheered me up and I was out of my pajamas and into my clothes in minutes, ready to go.

Taking the tube during the day, however, and seeing how much emptier it was now that it wasn't the time everyone was going to work, was another reminder of my unemployment. But I didn't want to think about it. It was too frightening to think I had to start all over somewhere else.

The walk from the tube to the London Public Library wasn't too long, and soon I was crossing the street to get to it. That's when I saw the bridal store in front. There stood three sad mannequins wearing three awfully similar and unimaginative dresses. I furrowed my nose at the thought of the poor women who had to choose from that. I couldn't imagine getting married wearing a dress so devoid of color. It was meant to be happy occasion, wasn't it? Why shouldn't you dress like it? I'd always thought if I married Patrick, that I might have to settle for wearing a more traditional dress. He didn't mind the way I dressed, but I had a feeling that he might put his foot down at the idea of a wedding dress that was multicolor.

Oh, well. I wasn't with Patrick anymore. And I realized I was tired of having to compromise my wishes to those of whom I was with _constantly_. I wouldn't make that mistake again. The next relationship I would be in, I'd make sure to have a say in things, instead of conforming all the time. I was important, too. And I had to remember that.

Walking in the library was overwhelming. I'd never visited all the floors or even explored the bottom one, but it was immense.

Thankfully, I already knew how to find the computers, and the Business Directory shouldn't be too challenging to find.

Looking through lists of French desserts only made my mouth water, as I tried to see if any of them looked familiar. The names were even worse. And after thirty minutes of browsing page after page, I realized I simply didn't remember what it looked like, as none triggered any memory.

I ended giving up and searching for a shop that sold French desserts. I figured once I got there, I might ask or, perhaps seeing it in person would help?

There seemed to be one near the hospital and so I chose that one. There were too many and I had no way of knowing which would have it without going to all.

Once I got there, I was disappointed to find that seeing them all in person had no effect on my memory. And asking the shop clerk was just as useless. I couldn't remember the name and several of them looked like they could be the ones.

After deliberating between two of them that looked the most familiar, I opted for the Opera Gateaux, mainly because it was the one with the easier-to-pronounce name.

The shop clerk placed it in a small white box and handed it to me, and I was off to the hospital, wondering what I would find today.

The ride on the lift was nerve wrecking. Would he be happy to see me? Or would he be disappointed I showed up again? And how would he react to my gesture?

The doors opened and I hesitated to step out. Then they started to close again, and I hopped out quickly.

Well, I'd better get it over with. I tried to have a genuine and easy smile on my face, and began walking as normal as I could, holding the small box with both my hands against my torso.

But as I neared his room, I almost forgot all my fears and replaced them with curiosity.

There was a young man standing by his bed. Will seemed to be conversating with him but all I could see from the mystery man was his back. He was dressed well, if informal, and his shiny black hair was slickly combed back.

I stopped on my tracks.

What should I do? Should I wait for him to leave? Or just come right in?

I bit my lip as I looked around for Nathan. He might have overheard who this person was and could tell me how serious the conversation could be, then I could deliberate whether to interrupt or not. But he was nowhere to be seen.

He had been taking good care of Will, even as he proved to be a difficult patient.

I looked back into the room to see the man nod towards Will, make to shake his hand, then retreated it uncomfortably once he realized Will could hardly shake it back.

Will seemed uncomfortable as well and… a little upset perhaps? I saw his eyes drop to the feet of the bed and then back up to the man, but he was already turning around to walk out, and in seconds he was walking right past me and towards the lift.

Perhaps one of his friends? He seemed about Will's age and he was groomed similarly.

I'd never seen this person before, but then again, I'd hardly met any of Will's friends who didn't work at the office.

I took a deep breath and began to walk towards the room. If this visit had upset him, perhaps the dessert would cheer him up.

"Hello" I said cheerfully as I appeared at his door.

"Hey there, Clark. You're late" he said grumpily.

"Beg your pardon, sir. But I don't work for you anymore, and so I can come and go as I please" I said jokingly as I smiled at him.

He sighed deeply and looked towards the window.

"What have you got there?" he asked, now giving attention to the small box in my hands.

"A treat for you" I said and paused. "But only if you smile and cheer up some" I said raising one eyebrow and smiling as I held it close to me.

"Too bad, then" he said, as he looked back out towards the window, and furrowed his eyebrows.

I sighed. What had happened with his friend? Had he given him any bad news?

"Was that a friend of yours who was here just now?" I asked but received no answer. "Lots of visitors today!" I added trying to remain cheerful, but feeling his gloominess trying to infect my own attitude. "I also brought you the newspaper" I said as I searched for it in my bag. "Do you want me to read it to you?" I asked him directly as I stepped in and sat.

"Anything important?" he asked, now giving me his attention but hardly meeting my eyes.

"Don't know. I haven't even glanced at it. Let's see" I said as I pulled it out of my bag.

"Not now" he said dryly.

"Alright…" I replied as I set it aside.

"What's in the box?" he asked again as he peered over. "Oh, why did you go there?" he asked groaning once he saw the insignia on the box.

I felt my stomach churn and twist at his negative response. I didn't know why he was being this way. And if I could understand why, perhaps it wouldn't hurt so much to be treated this way. But as it was, I was struggling not to let it affect me.

"It's an… Opera Gateaux… don't know if I'm pronouncing it right" I said opening the lid in hopes that the sight of the beautiful dessert might help things.

"No, thank you" he said without even looking at it. He rested his head against the pillow and closed his eyes.

His rejection hit me like a ton of bricks and the strength I had been trying to exercise failed me completely. I couldn't ignore his behaviour towards me anymore.

He didn't want me here. And he was doing everything possible to give me the hint. But my silly crush wouldn't let me see what was in front of my eyes, till he got fed up with it, and was finally as rude as he wanted to be all along.

I felt my eyes well up with tears and my neck and cheeks heat up. I felt like an idiot, an utterly gigantic idiot.

I breathed in deeply but quietly. I needed to regain my composure.

My mind said to stand up and leave the sodding and ungrateful git to drown in his misery, but my heart saw the face of the man whom I… and it begged me to try and help him- that all he needed was kindness, that I knew better than to believe the tough façade- and if I just kept digging I'd find the golden center of the man I knew.

"Will, do try to cheer up. Is something the matter?" I asked once I felt in control of my tone of voice.

He opened his eyes and nailed me against the wall with his penetrating gaze.

"Yes, something is the matter, Louisa" he said bitterly. "Look at me. What isn't _the matter_?" he asked, looking away as if disgusted.

"I'll tell you. You're alive, Will. There's something to be cheerful about. You can look forward to the time when you're recovered and…"

"I've lost _everything_! And everyone! Do you know that is the first of my friends to come see me since the accident? I've got nothing left…" he asked, stabbing me through the heart. If that was the first friend… then what did he consider _me_?

I shook my head slowly as I felt emotion rising in my throat and clasping it tight. My tears pooled in my eyes again, but this time I didn't try to hide them.

"You've got me" I said slowly and unbelieving. " _I've_ been here" I added. I wanted to say more but I just couldn't.

I grabbed my bag, threw the newspaper inside it, and the white box went in, too, carelessly, and I threw it over my shoulder, and in a few steps I was out of the room and gone from his sight.

I heard him call out to me: "Louisa!". The sound of my full first name sounded foreign and wrong coming from his lips, and further drove me to keep walking faster and faster, till the tears were running down my cheeks as I struggled to dry them from my face.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I got home and went up to my room. I had embarrassed myself, looking red and puffy on the tube, but thankfully no one seemed to care much.

I had been successful in avoiding my mother when I walked in. But as I had stepped on the squeaky board on the hall, she had detected my presence from the bathroom and called out to me.

"How's Will today, hun?" she asked.

"Great" I said and shut the door.

She didn't bother me again.

I picked out the white box from my bag. It was a little squished, but I'd paid £4 for it, and I wasn't going to let the money I had left go to waste because of Will.

I took out the dessert and ate it as best as I could without any cutlery. It was messy, and I got it on my nose, but I was decided to enjoy it thoroughly.

Who did he think he was turning his nose up at this? It was great, and it was delicious, even more than that one we'd tried in Miami and the idiot was missing out on it.

That's when the crying began again. I wanted to be upset with him but only ended up being upset with myself. I'd been lying to myself all this time, telling myself we were friends or that I had my feelings reigned in, that I could handle it.

Obviously, not.

I had been deluding myself into thinking what I wanted to believe.

But then I remembered all the instances that he had showed himself to me- when we'd talked about his parents and I'd shared my experience in the maze. He had been so kind and held me so…

Had that been a show? Was he just a cruel man who used others that way?

I wanted to think so. But something deep told me I knew better- that I knew the real Will and that I should have known better than to take his rudeness to heart.

Perhaps there'd been a reason, and I'd been in such a rush to think it was about me that I left without another thought when he needed me.

It was too hard to think. I couldn't clear the muddle in my head and just gave in to the hurt and cried some more, until I heard Thomas and Treena step in the door. The last thing I wanted was for her to see me this way.

I tried to gather myself and put those thoughts away for the moment. I couldn't sort them if I wanted to.

0-0-0-0-0-0

The rest of Saturday saw me trying to stay busy as to not think of Will. And Sunday was much the same. But there was little to distract me at home and so I went to the library again to search for jobs online as the employment office was closed on Sundays.

And I needed a new job. It didn't suit me to sit around and mope for the one I had. I had to get back on the horse.

Once in the library, I updated my resume to include my latest employment at Roberts, Foster & Powell's. Then I began searching for jobs that might be along the same line of employment. I had rather enjoyed the work while I had had it, and now that I had the experience for it, I didn't think I should let that go to waste.

I couldn't find something in the exact same job description, but there were other assistant jobs and I submitted my application for those.

By the time I was done, it was afternoon already. My heart ached to go see Will again. It tried to persuade me he'd be happy to see me and sorry to have been so nasty before, but the possibility that he'd be baffled as to why I was there once again was too strong in my eyes to risk the hurt and embarrassment that would come from it.

So I let my feet take me through London as I walked slowly, admiring the streets I'd never walked on and the buildings I'd never seen before.

I wondered if anyone ever saw all of it, all of London.

That's when I heard my ringtone from inside my bag. My heart thumped at the thought that it could be Will but I dismissed it quickly. Better not to get my hopes up just to get them dashed again.

I took out my mobile expecting it to be Mum or Dad, but my stomach twisted into a knot when I saw Will's face light up the screen.

My finger flew to pick it up but I stopped at the last second. I couldn't really explain why, but I let it go to voicemail.

As much as I ached to make things right again, something told me that I needed to show him my own self-worth as well. He had treated me wrongly when I had tried to be there for him, and even if I was below him at work and in other aspects he was also my superior, we were both human beings.

And perhaps it was time for Will Traynor to have a minute to think about how much he valued my friendship and how much he was willing to do for it.

0-0-0-0-0-0

There were two more phone calls that afternoon but I let them go to voicemail each time.

At the third he did leave a message. I heard it and my heart faltered at the sound of his voice before I realized he wasn't apologizing at all.

He merely said he was calling because he was concerned that I hadn't stopped by, and hoped I was well.

How proud was he that he couldn't even admit he felt bad about the way he had behaved?

Those words only further convinced me he still needed some time to consider how much he cared. And if he thought he could smooth things over by charming his way back in, he was in for a surprise.

My feelings struggled with my better sense, begging me to reach out to him, but for once I controlled them for the better.

It was about time that he began getting off his high horse and appreciating others and showing it properly.

On Monday I received several text messages.

" _Louisa, where are you?",_

" _Is something the matter? Hope everything is alright",_

and finally,

" _Can you come by when you have a chance? I need some help"._

I had to admit that last one tugged at my heart strings and it was hard to resist. While I could hear the stubborn tone in the first two, the last one seemed to transmit another tone, a more humble one, but not quite there yet.

And the next day, Tuesday, I woke up to a message that had arrived at 7:37 a.m.

It read:

" _I miss you"._

And I couldn't deny the way my heart jumped at the words, and implored me to go see him, already.

I ate breakfast and after putting a few things in my bag, I headed out feeling better than I'd felt in days.

He did care.

He had missed me, too.

It warmed my heart and spread a smile on my face that I couldn't help.

I felt odd looks on me as I grinned to myself non-stop on the tube but I just couldn't care.

I pulled out my phone a few more times and read it again, and again.

" _I miss you"_ , it read.

" _I miss you"_.

My heart skipped a beat each time I looked at the words.

So, I hadn't been wrong then. I hadn't been an idiot to think he cared about me.

I felt relief wash over me as I discarded all the negative feelings and notions that had highlighted the past two and a half miserable days I'd endured.

I walked towards his room, with a light step but tried to show neutrality in my facial expressions.

I watched Nathan leave his room but not before giving me a deliciously knowing look as if he knew something… Had he typed the messages for Will?

If the look he'd given me was any indication, then he had, and had also made his own assumptions about it, apparently.

"Good morning, Will" I said with my chin held high but unable to hold back the way my eyes wanted to look at him.

"You came" he said uncomfortably.

"I did" I replied with a small smile. I couldn't completely hide that I was happy to see him again.

"I'm glad" he said, the corner of his mouth threatening to smile, but not quite. "Have you brought the Financial Times? I've been completely disconnected from any business news" he admitted.

"No" I answered simply.

"Oh" he replied surprised.

"Yep, just little, old me" I said with a deep intake of breath as I stood on the doorway.

"That's alright. I meant it. I missed you, Lou" he professed with some struggle.

"So, you said" I said with one raised eyebrow as I smiled lightly.

"I meant it" he repeated as he looked onto me.

"I thought so" I said normally, not breaking eye contact.

"I thought you wouldn't come again, you know, because of…" he said struggling to say the words.

"Because of…" I said encouraging him on.

"What happened…" he explained as motioned his head awkwardly.

"Right. What happened" I nodded at him.

"So, are we…" he asked raising his eyebrows in question.

"Are we what?" I asked innocently.

"Are you not upset anymore?" he said with an exasperated sigh.

"That depends" I said, feeling a little guilty that I was enjoying this a bit.

"On what, Clark?" he asked annoyed as he closed his eyes for a second.

"On what this means" I explained.

He looked taken aback.

"What are you talking about?" he asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Will…" I began. "If we are to be friends, I need to know I will be treated as such" I said exaggeratedly dramatic.

"Oh!" he said quickly.

"Right. So, I need to know if you are… sorry" I stated simply.

"Oh, yes. Of course, I am, Lou. I am sorry. I was just… I'm having difficulty… adjusting" he said with another sigh, seemingly relieved.

"That's what I'm here for" I said now smiling fully, my chest bursting with joy as I took a seat by his side.

.

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 **A/N: That's all for today, folks! (: More to come next chapter. It'll hopefully be ready more quickly than this one.**

 **If anything doesn't make sense, I promise it will. And you are always welcome to ask if you are confused about anything in the story.**

 **Let me know your thoughts, I do love reading what each and every one of you thinks of each chapter, and I do look forward to it. (: Thank you!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Over 400 reviews, you guys? This is too incredible, too much! I can honestly say I have the best readers following this story. Some of your reviews and responses move me to tears. You are all such beautiful people, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise! Thank you so much!**

 **Chapter 31**

I could have sighed audibly with relief when she finally set her bag down and sat on the chair by my bedside.

I had hardly ever been happier to see her form appear than this morning.

Then I watched her dig in her enormous bag for something. She'd said she hadn't brought the Financial Times though. So what was she looking for?

That's when I saw her pull out a man's razor and a bottle of shaving cream. And it wasn't my Truefitt & Hill, either.

"What are you doing?" I asked apprehensively.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked with a mischievous smile.

"Not really, no" I said, even though I could take a guess. No way she thought she was going to shave my face, much less with _those_.

"Well, I'll give you a hint. It isn't for me" she said with a cheeky smile as she started pouring some water in a nearby basin.

"It isn't for _me_ , surely" I said seriously.

"Why not? I thought you'd be dying for a shave" she said, not even pausing in her preparing of the shaving items.

"I'm not that desperate" I replied.

"Why not?" she asked chuckling. "I won't cut your skin, I promise" she added mockingly.

Seeing her banter with me was doing things to my stomach and provoking a smile on my face that I was trying to resist.

"No offense to the homeless person from whom you stole those… items, but I only shave with Truefitt & Hill. Anything else irritates my skin awfully" I tried to reason with her.

"Really? You're that sensitive?" she asked stopping to look at me.

I had to admit I didn't know what to reply. Admit I was sensitive, or deny it and allow her to use that prehistoric razor on me?

"Only for some things" I finally replied, eyeing her as she went back to the basin which was now full and picked it up.

"Good. I'll be careful, then" she said smiling in that way of hers that made her eyes almost disappear beneath her eyelashes.

I sighed loudly.

"If my skin flares up, or you cut me…" I threatened.

"No one is going to care, Will. I won't, and Nathan won't, and you don't have any clients to impress" she said playfully.

I tilted my head disapprovingly at her.

"It's still a little too soon for me to be able to joke about that" I said, after clearing my throat softly at the jab.

"I'm sorry" she said as she set the basin down. "Or is there a night nurse that you're trying to impress?" she asked grinning completely, and moving her eyebrows suggestively.

"No…" I replied. "She's not a nurse" I added daringly.

This made her stop mid-movement, before she resumed picking up the shaving cream.

Her small moment of alarm told me she had to have caught my meaning, and a small smile spread on my lips at the soft rosy blush that rose on her cheeks and ears, that she tried to disguise by trying to continue to act normally.

"In that case, I hope she can look past a few reddish pores. And if she can't, then she's probably not worth it. Now shut it so I can shave you with minimal bleeding" she said with a smile as she stood over me with shaving cream in hand.

"You're probably right" I said softly as she sprayed some cream onto her cupped palm.

"Shhh" she said with an arbitrary expression that made me smile again as she rubbed some of the cream onto my cheek.

I forced my face into an emotionless countenance as I watched the hazardous razor come near me.

I felt it part the cream as it met my cheekbone, then drag downwards slowly. Then she lifted it, dipped it in the water basin, and did it again, just as carefully a few centimeters over.

Her expression was so focused, her eyebrows were pushed together, and her lips were crumpling together in almost a pout as she moved the razor carefully- so softly as to not cut my skin that I felt guilty to have made such a fuss about the brand of the instruments.

And it also endeared her to me even more, if that was even possible, that she was being so gentle and careful for my sake.

I had indeed been dying for a shave. It had been a week since I'd been here and with my limbs being mostly useless, the hairs on my face had been growing freely.

I was glad she had thought of it. I guess that's what had made her such a great assistant- she knew what I needed and could anticipate it with accuracy.

And it probably meant she could be a caring and considerate partner to anyone… well, hopefully _to_ _me_.

Her face was now only inches from mine as she watched her movements carefully, and I was watching her shamelessly.

I had missed her smile, her jesting, her brightness, her conversation. And I specially felt like I'd missed her lips so much. I knew I had never kissed her, though not for lack of wanting to, but if I believed in other lives I'd be convinced she had been my wife in another. I didn't know what it would be like to kiss her, but I _did_ _know_. It was as if I knew now she had been what I'd been missing my whole life, what I'd been unknowingly searching for, and it was just too hard not to reach out and just grab it.

But it was precisely for that reason that I couldn't. I couldn't lose it when I was at the threshold. I couldn't mess anything else up. I had already done enough of that.

I felt like such an idiot as I thought of the way I'd acted towards her before she got fed up and left.

My ego had been hurt, and I'd fallen from so high that the landing had destroyed me completely. And I hadn't realized I was pushing away the only good, decent thing in my life because I was mourning the loss of the lesser ones, until I had done precisely that.

And by some miracle, she had come back to me and given me another chance, though only through her kindness and goodness. She had that perfect vision, or flawed perhaps, where she could see things for what they could be, rather than what they were, and through that belief, she could actually make it happen.

She did it with me, and I watched her do it with others as well, so long as they let themselves. That was probably how she had been able to stay in that relationship with that knob head. And it was also one of the reasons why she had excelled in our field of work.

I watched a small smile, almost unnoticeable, grace her features as she became self-aware of my eyes following her. I didn't shift my gaze as I willed her to meet my eyes. But she stayed looking at the part she was shaving, then to the basin to rinse the razor, and back to the where she had left off.

It became increasingly obvious to me how comfortable I felt in her close company, till I remembered the reason I had been suggestively hinting that she should leave a few days before. Then all sense of comfort left me. I couldn't let her see me being fed like a child or an invalid.

I'd threatened Nathan with death once I was better, if he even dared to bring the food in while Clark was here, much less try to give it to me. The doctor had insisted that I eat normal food as my internal organs needed to keep doing their normal work so my bones and ligaments could heal better, and as humiliating as it was to allow a grown man to feed me, it was infinitely more terrifying to think of Clark seeing it happen.

I had panicked as I'd seen Nathan signal me that I had to eat and he couldn't keep putting it off any longer. And so I'd begun to ask questions in regards to anything else she might have to do, and encouraging her to do it so she would leave before Nathan decided he wanted to keep his job more than he cared about my empty threats.

Thankfully, she'd come much earlier today and she might be gone before lunch time. But one thing I did know was that I couldn't hint at her leaving again. I could only hope it didn't come to have to admit to her why I wanted her gone.

How was she supposed to fall for a bedridden man who had to be spoon-fed like a toddler? Yes, it was only temporary, but that was an image that could hardly be erased from a woman's head. It was too shameful to even think of it.

However, I wouldn't think about it now. I couldn't let my uneasiness affect me and give her the wrong impression again. I had a large enough task in front of me without having to throw in begging for her forgiveness again.

"Lift your chin" she instructed me as she wiped off the cream from the razor.

I did as she instructed and she almost began to shave upwards before I realized it and shied away from the razor.

"Not upwards!" I squirmed as the thought of an irritated neck swarmed me. I was miserable enough as it was.

"Oh! Sorry, I always forget that!" she said apologetically.

" _Always_? How often do you shave men?" I asked taken aback by her choice of words.

"Not too often" she replied as she neared my jaw with razor in hand. "But I've done it on occasion to my grandad when he's been in the hospital or bedridden for some illness" she clarified, and I remembered her mute grandfather who had not been able to speak since he'd had a stroke.

Then I also remembered her kindness towards all the old people at the gala, and it all began to add up. She just kept making it harder for me, didn't she? Harder to be able to measure up… had there really been a time when I had thought she was beneath me?

I shuddered to think of that man. Then again, that was the man who made fun of her clothes along with his plastic girlfriend, with whom he was only with for physical reasons. That was also the man who judged the success of each relationship he was in by how great the sex was, how brag-worthy the woman was, and how little they bothered him or complained.

And I'd honestly thought so great of myself then. And it wasn't as if I could say such great things about myself now. I had just let myself be pulled back by those same ideals when I had hurt her with my rude manners only a few days ago.

But I could do better, I knew it. I didn't have to let that put me off. If I could take a battered company and make it worth millions again, then couldn't I do the same for myself? Especially when I knew the results would be so worthwhile.

Just then my thoughts were derailed by the sight I caught of a woman with short, styled and dyed hair, wearing a neutral designer cardigan draped lightly on her shoulders, and a scarf that was just as safe and dull as the white button down that I was sure she owned dozens of, but insisted were all different in some detail or other.

She might as well have been wearing her magistrate gown and wig.

What was she doing here?

Clark must have seen the expression on my face because she turned around to look in the direction I was widening my eyes at.

"Camilla!" she waved happily at the approaching image of my mother, as she cleaned off the remainder of the cream that was on my face with a towel.

"Hello" my mother said to her with a small smile as she tried to look past her at me. "Will, I'm here at last" she said with compassion in her features as she untied the scarf from her neck.

"You really didn't have to come, Mother" I said, thinking of our last conversation when she had pretended to be collected as I told her I'd lost my job as well.

"Well, your father is much better, and I can be back tomorrow, but you need my help" she said crossing her arms against her chest, and standing to her full height and more in her heels.

"How exactly?" I asked, harsher than I meant.

"We need to plan for when you get released from here, Will" she said uncrossing her arms, and holding them together against her stomach.

"Plan what? I know how to look for a new job, Mum. I've taken care of myself for years" I replied, trying to remember Lou was there and watching the interaction.

"Look for a new job, Will?" she asked. "You'll be in a wheelchair. Looking for a job is not the most important thing at the moment. You need to find a new place, for starters" she added.

"What for? They've got lifts in my building, mother" I clarified, in case she thought she was going to come and uproot me from the last stable thing I had remaining in my life.

"I know that, Will. But it's too small. It won't accommodate the wheelchair" she tried to explain as I battled not to roll my eyes. "And you'll need another bedroom" she said and caught my attention.

"I'm sorry. First, no. Secondly, why?" I asked, feeling like a child who was being told what to do by his mother. I was too embarrassed to look at Clark.

"Won't you need to do certain exercises and therapies once you're released? You'll need space for the equipment. I asked Dr. Lewis and he explained to me how your recovery will most likely come about. Don't try to fool me" she said pointing a finger at me.

Great, she was doing that too now.

"Dr. Lewis is not the doctor overseeing me, mother. He can hardly judge my condition" I replied getting upset that she had just walked in the door minutes ago and was already trying to micromanage things.

I looked to Clark, and she was busying herself with throwing out the foamy water, and cleaning the razor.

"I can trust you to help him go through with the new adjustments we'll need to make for him, Louisa" my mother said as she turned back to look at Lou.

"Mother, she's not my assistant anymore" I said, mortified that she was treating Lou like an employee.

"I'm aware, Will. But as she's the only one other person here, and I've got to get back to work tomorrow, and you won't cooperate, I have no choice but to charge her with it. I can't stay to make sure you go through with everything" she said, her voice getting slightly higher.

I felt a turmoil rise in my chest and I took a deep breath to calm it with little success.

"I'm happy to help" Lou chimed in as she moved out of the way for Nathan who had come in the room.

"Great" my mother said turning to her. "He needs to sell that apartment. He needs a place that has the space to allow movement for his wheelchair, a room for his exercise equipment, and if possible away from the city and the noise, somewhere quiet where he can heal" she said to Lou who was nodding profusely. "He'll need to sell his car and get something that will accommodate the wheelchair- I was thinking a van. And he needs to hire a caretaker to do the things he won't be able to for himself" she finished.

I groaned.

This was going to be a long day.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"I'm going home, Will. I'll see you tomorrow" Lou said at the door, holding her coat over her forearm as she smiled kindly at me. "And don't worry, Camilla. I'll take care of everything" she added for my mother.

"Thank you, Louisa" my mother said as she watched her leave. "She's a sweet girl" my mother said to me suspiciously, as she sat by my bedside.

"What do you mean?" I asked, sensing there was more to her compliment.

"Did she have access to your bank accounts when she worked for you?" she asked me after a pause.

"Why does that matter?" I asked, not liking where the conversation was heading.

"You know why, Will. Don't be daft" she said shifting in her seat.

"I've lost everything, Mum. And everyone has abandoned me because of it. She's the only one who's stuck around. And now you want to imply she has ulterior motives?" I asked, getting upset.

"I can tell you like her, Will. Don't deny it" she said holding a finger to me to keep me from contradicting her. "And if I can tell, so can she. You don't think she could be using that to take advantage of a rich young man? I know you haven't got a job now, but people like us don't get brought down by what can knock a person like her to the ground. You'll get back up on your feet, and you've got the monetary backing to do so. But, her? This is probably the closest she'll ever be to your kind of money. Don't doubt it for a second" she said narrowing her eyes at me as I felt my stomach get sick at the conversation we were having.

"I'm not having this conversation, mother" I said biting my tongue.

"You don't have to have this conversation with me, Will. But have it with yourself. And keep your eyes open. Don't lose your head for a pretty smile" she said, and I had a feeling she meant more than that with her last sentence. Was she implying I'd be like my father who lost his head for another woman?

Just then, I watched Nathan come with a large tray with my lunch. I looked to my mother, but realized I didn't mind her seeing me be fed so much as I did Clark.

Thankfully Nathan had been able to hold off the food till she left. I had to admit, even with my initial disliking of him, he wasn't so bad. At least he understood my reservations.

"You know, I heard you talking of needing a new place, with more space?" he asked to no one in particular. I appreciated the lack of visual contact while he fed me.

"We are" my mother replied for both of us. It seemed with Clark on board this train had taken off already.

"The area I live in, West Sussex, is within good distance of London, and has moderate homes that aren't too expensive" he said to her.

"There you have it, Will. You should look into that with Louisa tomorrow" she said firmly to me.

I simply chewed quietly.

"I can help you guys look" he offered. "I know the area well".

I furrowed my eyebrows, but eventually nodded slightly.

I couldn't imagine not living in London, but I had to admit, there was some merit to the idea that it was unsuitable for the time being.

I didn't want to give up my apartment though. This move would only be temporary, but I knew I shouldn't keep it on plus paying for another rent. I wouldn't be working for some time and even though I had a small fortune in the bank, I didn't want to go through it as it might prove necessary if I went with the route of opening my own business.

"Would you be interested in a very well paid caretaker job?" my mother asked Nathan.

He smiled and looked down.

"I thank you, ma'am. But I love my job here. I wouldn't be able to do much except perhaps a few hours in the evenings" he explained to her.

"Do you have anyone you could recommend?" she asked him.

"Uh, not in the medical field. But he wouldn't need someone medical there full time. If you could find somebody to help him with the cooking and cleaning and therapies, perhaps to drive him, I could do the rest in the evenings" he suggested, and I got a feeling he had an agenda. "Louisa has looked after him very well while he's been here" he said, and I almost spit out my food.

"No" I said firmly as soon as I'd swallowed.

"It's true" she replied to Nathan, completely ignoring my refusal. If I'd had any food then, I would have definitely spit it out. Hadn't she been accusing her of being after my money only minutes ago?

"No…" I repeated, wishing I could sit up on my own to intervene.

"Why ever not, Will?" she asked, turning to me.

"Weren't you just…" I began to ask, but didn't want to say what it was in front of Nathan. It was shameful enough she had suggested it at all.

"Well, she's been working for you this long" she replied.

I looked at her confused, as Nathan brought more food near me, but I refused it.

"No, I won't have someone I know take care of me. It's bad enough you're making me give everything else up. Now you're going to reduce her to a caretaker, too?" I asked her, dumbfounded.

"It's been her place for the majority of the time you've known each other, Will. It's hardly a humiliation" she argued.

"It is for me" I sneered. "Do you think I can stand to let her feed me, fetch me things, drive me around like an old man? No" I negated once again.

"Suit yourself then" she said standing up, and opening her cellphone as she walked out of the room.

I sighed loudly in relief.

"Sorry, mate. I thought I was helping" Nathan said apologetically.

"Really? You thought I'd want the girl I like to take care of me the way she'd take care of her grandfather?" I asked harshly, feeling bad the moment the words left my mouth as I watched his face react honestly.

"She's stuck around this long" he shrugged. "And it'd give you an excuse to see her every day. Your arms should be better by then, so you could feed yourself, and do other things on your own. She'd probably just need to clean and cook for you, and things like that. You'll be well again soon, and then…" he said as he collected the tray and left the room.

When he put it that way, it didn't seem like such a bad idea.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"This one is not half-bad" she pointed one out to me from the list we'd been looking at.

I made a face, not really liking any of the village homes.

They were the kind of houses people moved to when they were tired of actually living. And I was nowhere near that.

"It looks a little like where a grandmother might live" I objected.

"That's what you say about all of them!" she laughed in frustration.

"I say it because it's true" I objected.

"It was really nice of Nathan to print this out for you" she said sweetly moved, as she thought of the gesture.

I couldn't help a little jealousy settle in at the fond feeling for the fully functional male nurse who she saw everyday now.

How did I know she wasn't coming to see _him_?

"Sure" I said with a sigh. "Is that really all the houses in West Sussex available for rental?" I asked as I tried to remember the least horrible one.

"This one is near his own home" she said chirpily. "He wrote it on the side here, look" she stated pointing to some messy handwriting on the edge of the page. "It would be really convenient for him to stop by for a couple of hours on his way home from work" she added.

"Fine, call that one then" I said not too happily.

I watched her talk to the person on the other line, as she asked details about rental agreements, the possibility of taking a tour, and pricing.

"Thank you so much. Good-bye" she into her mobile as she withdrew it from her face, then ended the call. "Did you hear?" she asked me cheerfully.

"I did" I stated, almost returning her contagious smile.

"I'll take plenty of pictures to bring back" she offered at my lack of enthusiasm.

"It's alright, Clark" I said softly. "If you like it, and you think it will meet… my needs, then it's fine with me. They're all horrid, anyways".

"It is for _you_ to live in, Will. Don't you at least want to see what it looks like on the inside?" she said as she contemplated me.

"Could be yours, too" I added after a pause.

"What?" she asked, laughing nervously.

"You need a job, don't you?" I asked.

"Yes, I do" she replied slowly as she tried to figure out where I was going with this.

"Want to be my caretaker? I know it's not as glamorous as the assistant work, but I'd pay you well. And you wouldn't have to do much" I said, regretting I said anything as I saw her face contort with apprehension.

"And I'd have to live with you?" she asked.

"Only if you want to avoid the commute" I answered.

"That's where I draw the line" she said, her features turning playful.

"Lord, Clark!" I said relieved. "You can take the bloody tube everyday if it makes you happy" I added laughing.

"Would I have to pay you rent?" she asked still smiling.

"No" I replied, my heart slowing down after the scare of her possible refusal.

"Would I have to interview?" she asked, raising her chin at me, her smile becoming wider.

"Of course" I replied, jesting. "You'd be working for Will Traynor, after all. You can't expect special treatment just because you happen to know him… and bring him the Financial Times everyday" I added as I smiled at her.

"Good! Prepare to have your socks knocked off then. I'll wear my brightest clothes, you won't be able to look away" she jokingly, said as she leaned back in her seat confidently.

"I'm sure I won't" I replied softly smiling back.

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 **A/N: And so the plot moves along! Sorry for the filler-y chapter… Let me know what you think of how things are going**


	32. Chapter 32

**Welcome back! (: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! And I'm so sorry there was no update last week. I had started to write the chapter on my work laptop and forgotten to send it to my personal one, then got sick and was stuck at home while my half-written chapter was at the office ): But it's ready now and I hope you enjoy it (:**

 **Chapter 32**

"Will!" I called out as I pushed the front door of our humble home open forcefully with my shoulder, careful not to spill over the contents I was holding in the large paper bags.

I had become accustomed to the idea we lived together somewhat, but it still felt strange to see him every day, go to sleep under the same roof, call the same house our home.

And it was sweet torture of the most acute.

"What is it?" he answered from somewhere deep in the house. His voice resonated sure and strong as if he were still the most successful man at one of the most respected companies in London. No one would guess the voice was coming from a man temporarily handicapped, sitting on wheelchair and without current employment.

"You will never believe what's in the front page of the Financial Times this morning, come quickly! I haven't read the full article yet" I replied as I set the heavy bags on the kitchen counter, trying to balance their weight so that they wouldn't fall over and deposit their contents all over the counter. It was Monday morning and as usual I had made my way to grocer's to get the food for the day, along with any other necessities as I always did, also in order to pick up his favorite newspaper.

"Oh good! Something exciting? It's been awfully boring lately. If I have to read another article about how to grow your small business…" he said, as I heard his voice coming closer from the left of the house, from the TV room if I wasn't mistaken. It was early for him to be watching a movie, as he usually reserved that for the evenings. I wondered what he could be doing in there.

His wheelchair was slower than most, as he insisted on a manual one that he could propel forward with his own arms, once they had healed. He was decided he wasn't going to let his entire body rot, even if his legs were of little use at the moment, and so it took longer to get around than if he'd had an electrical one.

"Oh, it's not that, I promise" I said eagerly, picking it out of my own bag and coming to meet him, my small heels clacking on the clean tile floor.

He came through the door of the TV room, dressed in grey sweatpants, and a blue V-neck. It was still difficult to get used to seeing him dressed so informally, even if I'd been living with him for almost a month now.

And while nothing could dethrone his suited-up look as the best one he had- the very image of prowess, confidence, cleverness, and simple polished brilliance- there was something so endearing about seeing him dressed so casually, so comfortably, as if all the walls were down, and this was the closest you could get to seeing his heart on his sleeve.

His hair was pushed back messily, but adorably, and the muscles in his arms flexed attractively as he pushed the wheels of the chair forward.

"This better be good, I've been starved for something exciting!" he said approaching me. I tried to keep my heart from accelerating at his use of the word 'exciting'. If he knew what sort of exciting things I wanted to do with him… just that thought made my face warm up, and I hoped and prayed my dirty thoughts weren't showing.

It was embarrassing to have to face, even internally, what my self-control had deteriorated into.

I handed him the newspaper, his eyes hungrily trying to discern the words before he had even straightened the paper before him. I saw his eyes grow wide, then his eyebrows furrow in confusion, followed by the slight opening of his mouth. His eyes began to move rapidly from side to side as he began to devour the article in front of him.

"Read it out loud, I want to know what it says" I pleaded, trying not to jump up and down from the eagerness to know how in the world, one of the supposedly most successful companies in London, had declared themselves bankrupt overnight without a single soul seeing it coming.

"That bastard!" Will growled, as he shook the paper with rage.

"Will, tell me!" I said again, as I crouched by his side to try to peak at the written words, but also to keep him from potentially lifting his eyes and seeing how red I might still be.

"It'll be faster if I read it silently, then tell you" he explained, not even looking away from the page in front of him.

"I have to call Miriam… and Ken! Oh no, they must be so devastated…" I said absentmindedly, my mind running away with me, as my mouth worded my thoughts out loud.

"Shhh" I heard Will say, his attention focused solely on the article.

"Are you shushing me?" I asked, taken aback by the familial expression.

"Be quiet, Clark" he said in a preoccupied tone, engrossed by the details offered by the magazine into the downfall of the company that he had worked at for years.

"I'd be nicer if I were you" I said standing up with a small smile. "After all, if I don't cook, you don't eat" I said satisfied as I walked around the counter and into the kitchen to put away the groceries I'd purchased this morning.

"If you don't cook, you also don't get paid" he said slowly as his eyes ran down the page.

I smiled more widely now, as I picked out some of the tomatoes and set them aside for the soup I had planned for lunch.

"Woah!" I responded laughing. "You really need to get an HR department if you're going to treat the help so terribly" I said trying to make a serious face, as I placed a liter of milk in the refrigerator.

That unglued his eyes from the paper. They lifted towards me and froze on my face discerningly.

"You know you aren't 'the help'" he said seriously, but gently.

"I'm just pushing your buttons, Will. Read on so you can tell me what it says" I said smiling, warmed by his genuine concern about how I felt about working as his caretaker.

He often expressed a similar worry about my position and how I felt towards it, now that it was a lowlier one in his eyes. I had on several occasions assured him that I was happy here, but it never seemed to convince him for some reason.

Not that I wasn't conflicted about this job. I wanted to be done with it so I could be free to tell Will how I felt, and all be damned, but the thought of rejection, of losing him altogether was scarier than anything else at present, and then I went back to wishing to forever have the excuse of working for him to keep me from risking it all.

I loved Will Traynor, desperately, and utterly. And the idea of not having him in my life... well, I was afraid of how little of him I was willing to settle for.

His face, looking more relieved now, slowly came down towards the bottom of the front page, and after checking to see if the article didn't continue on the inside, he closed it, and placed it on his lap.

"So, what happened?" I asked as I placed a container of salmon inside the freezer. I had bought some extra food today as I thought I ought to have some extra meals at hand. You never knew.

"Not much, it doesn't look like the newspaper had a lot of information as to the inner workings of how the bankruptcy came about" he replied, laying his head back against the headrest.

His face looked dumbfounded but also relieved.

"Did you ever hear anything before?" I asked, still finding it so strange the company had gone on for so long keeping the appearances of a wealthy and powerful corporation while crumbling from the inside out.

"No, nothing" he said neutrally. "Though it does explain a lot of things" he said lifting his eyebrows.

"Why Alfred had been so preoccupied as of late?" I asked.

"Yes, and why he kept pushing me to make so much money, why he was being so risky in his endeavors, why he kept asking more and more unrealistic demands of me. He must have been hoping they could salvage it, and once it was obvious that his efforts were futile…"

"He fired you" I finished for him, watching peacefulness level on his features and the curve of his shoulders. He was finally realizing it hadn't been his fault. And learned the reasons for the dismissal that had been plaguing him these past few weeks.

I heard him chuckle.

"It's ironic, isn't it? We could save other companies from ruin, but we couldn't save ourselves" he expressed bewildered.

"I'll call Ken, he might know more" I offered as I resumed my chore.

"Was he in accounting?" Will asked, his interest peaked.

"I don't think so, he was part of the Technical Department, I think, but I do believe he mentioned knowing people in Accounting" I offered.

"You were right. Today's news _were_ very interesting" he said looking at me, with such an expression as if a dark cloud had finally moved away from his head, and the sunshine was finally coming through.

I smiled at the sight of him for a second but then looked away and repressed it, afraid that he would catch on to my feelings. How embarrassing if he had to let me go, when we worked together so well, just to spare my feelings.

He had already had to give up so much.

Without his job, or the ability to acquire a new one for the time being, he had had to sell his Aston Martin, his London flat, along with some of his other valuables to pay for the months ahead without draining all his savings. He had to downgrade to a car that could accommodate him and his wheelchair more comfortably, and relocate somewhere more fitting for the use of the same.

Thankfully, he had been doing some freelance business advising. He had set up a website for it, and it was keeping his mind busy, while bringing in some good money, even if it wasn't a lot compared to what he used to make before. It also kept him from feeling useless and invaluable.

But the doctors were confident he would recover in the time expected, and he was doing everything to cooperate. We hadn't missed a single therapy session, and he was continuing the exercises at home faithfully with my help.

We attended therapies Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and the rest of the days we did the assigned exercises here at home.

And he threw himself into them with such passion and determination that I wouldn't be surprised if he recovered sooner than expected.

I had to give it to him- when he set his mind on something, he was relentless. He didn't take shortcuts and never did anything at less than 100% if he could help it.

Those were the thoughts that were swimming inside my mind as he sat in the living room on his laptop, checking the help requests he had received over the weekend and pondering on what to write back.

His look was pensive, and he gave good consideration to all of them before he answered them. I guessed that must be the reason that more and more people kept requesting his services as it became well known that his advice was infallible.

I was getting started with lunch. I had never been particularly good at cooking, while I wasn't so clumsy either, but I had rather do it slow, and take my time to make sure that it was done right. I knew how Will was about his food and being so limited in his options here, I tried my best to make it as easy as possible for him to endure these months away from the life he loved.

I tried to make as varied foods as I could, and anytime he suggested something or mentioned he missed something or other he used to eat in London, I made it a point to try to make it the next day. I found that as long as I followed the recipes, even things I'd never cooked before came out pretty good.

While Will had no qualms about telling me when something tasted awful, and I couldn't deny I did botch things up sometimes, he rarely complained.

I wasn't sure if to take it as a compliment to my cooking skills, or if it was an act of kindness on his part not to remark on the faults of every meal as he often did when we ate somewhere that wasn't up to his standards.

"I've just remembered, we must cancel this Friday's therapy session" he called out to me as he typed away on his laptop.

"We must? Why's that?" I asked, finding it strange. I didn't know of anything that could keep us from making it. We lived a pretty uneventful life. Apart from dinner on Thursdays in the only 'decent' place in town, according to Will of course- the rest were fine with me-, and a movie on the weekends, we didn't do much or see many people other than each other.

Nathan kept coming by on the evenings after his shift in the hospital to check on Will, even though he didn't need to do anything for him medically anymore, now that his arms were fully functional again and Will could manage all the tasks that Nathan had been helping with in the first two weeks out of the hospital, but other than him, we knew no one else here, and his mother had only managed to visit once, at which point Will had assured her she needn't make the trip any more often now than she did before. I could guess he was still somewhat upset with her for staying with his dad. He didn't appear to have made good on his promise to Will that he was going to divorce Camilla, as far as we knew.

And so I was surprised to hear that there would be something to keep us from making it to the appointment. With nothing to do and no one to see, I could think of no reason to miss it.

"My cousin's wedding" he replied absentmindedly. "It's this Saturday but I have been advised there will be some festivities the night before, and I am expected there as well" he explained, his eyes never leaving the screen of his computer.

"Oh" I reply, surprised by this news, and wondering what my role in all this would be. He wouldn't need me to do my usual duties of cooking and cleaning and keeping the house if he was away, and so perhaps it'd be a good opportunity to go see my family. I had never been away from them for so long, and though I'd kept in contact over the phone daily, and I'd been able to stop by a couple of times when we were in London for therapy, it wasn't exactly on the way at all and so we hadn't stayed for very long. I had to admit I missed them. And I didn't know when I'd have a chance to visit for a few days together again. "Sure, I'll remind you to mention it at the doctor's office when we go today" I added as I minced some garlic for the soup. "I think I'll call my parents and ask to stay with them while you're away, if that's alright with you. I'll make sure to leave everything in order here at the house" I assured him as I saw him lift his head and look at me. "Or… would you rather I stay here and keep an eye on everything?" I asked, trying to guess the reason for his displeasure at my suggestion.

"No, that's alright… if you'd prefer not to come, I can understand you must be eager to spend time with your family" he said trying to sound comprehensive.

"What… do you mean?" I ask, shocked at what he had said. Had he wanted me to accompany him?

"Only that you are free to choose. It won't matter if you don't want to come" he replied as he turned back to the screen.

"Come to the wedding?" I asked, trying to make sure I wasn't misunderstanding. I couldn't help but add up what it could mean. Was he asking me to accompany him as… a friend or, did he think he needed my assistance? I was confused but excited at the prospect of going with him.

"I was allowed a plus-one" he said sounding aloof. "And you have that dress you never wore to the New York dinner… though you would need another for the rehearsal dinner the day before, now that I think about it" he added.

"I'd like to come" I replied simply, trying not to show that my heart was reading way too much into it, and how bad I wished it had the real weight of being Will's date at a family wedding. Even if it wasn't the case, I could already imagine how much I would enjoy it.

So what if I probably wouldn't fit in with his posh family? I had never been to a wedding of wealthy people, and I could just imagine how extravagant it'd be, and I could see myself enjoying the weekend with Will so much.

His eyes met mine again and he smiled kindly.

"Good" he replied simply. "Will you need to visit some shops this afternoon?" he asked after a few seconds of holding my gaze. If this man only knew what he did to me, I swear, he wouldn't give me looks like that.

"Oh, it's alright" I said looking back down at the garlic that had been forgotten. "I can wear my red dress" I assured him.

"Not the pink one from the gala?" he asked and I had to look at him to ascertain if he was serious. I was sure we had talked about my discomfort in that small attire that could pass off as a dress for some people.

I saw the corner of his lips twitch and there was a sparkle in his eye. He was teasing me.

"Sure, if you want your family to think you paid for your escort" I laughed freely as I swung my hair behind my shoulder to keep it from nearing the garlic in front of me.

"Ooh, that might make things more interesting actually" he added with an air of mischief. "Can we tell them I did? I'd die to see their faces when I tell them" he said maliciously.

My mouth fell open followed by open laughter.

"No!" I exclaimed, though I had to admit, the idea did sound fun. It sure would give them all something to talk about as we laughed about the joke we were playing on them.

"That dress looks so good on you though. It's a shame you won't get to wear it again" he replied with a suggestive look that sent butterflies fluttering inside me.

"You don't pay me enough to let you gawk at me, Will Traynor" I replied with a smile, though I couldn't hold his eyes the way he could hold mine. I guess that spoke volumes about my feelings and the absence of his.

"I might still tell them all the same" he shot back.

"Keep threatening me, and you'll be worse off. I might just wear my blue one with green flowers. You'd _really_ love that one" I said lightly but sarcastically.

"Fine by me. I've gotten so used to your clothes that I might have actually grown to like them, even if by force of overexposure" he replied, still smiling mischievously.

I smiled knowing he was joking, but glad to know that someone who mattered so much to me didn't so much care if I dressed unlike most people.

"You'll be sorry you said that" I said teasingly, and let my words linger as I saw him get back to typing with a smile on his face.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"So what obscure foreign film is it going to be today?" I asked as I watched him begin to make his way into the TV room after dinner.

"Foreign, but not obscure" he replied giving me a look. "Leave the dishes, come watch it with me" he said motioning with his head for me to follow him.

"Really? Well that's a surprise" I said, pleasantly taken aback by his choosing something I might have heard of before today.

"I thought I might stop being a snob today, and pick something that won't make you cry and that hasn't subtitles" he said with an air of playfulness mixed with sincerity that touched me.

Did he mean it? Had he picked something out for me particularly?

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat before I could speak again.

"I can't leave the dishes though, Will. The food will dry and it'll be infernal to wash it off later" I said, thinking of the times I'd left it for the morning and regretted it bitterly.

I watched him turn his chair away from the TV room and come towards the kitchen.

"I'll dry them for you. And then you can put them away later" he said a little uncomfortable. Even though we had been doing this for weeks now, I knew it still made him uncomfortable that he couldn't help with much.

Even though I was much faster at drying, I said nothing, not wanting to impede him in something else. It would make him feel useful, and he didn't appreciate when he was treated differently, even if he was unable to do a lot.

I handed him the dishtowel and tried to give him my most appreciative smile, then turned back towards the sink.

In a few minutes I had washed and rinsed everything, and he had successfully dried it all off and set the dishes, pots and pans on top of the counter as best as he could from his sitting position.

I was so softened by his wanting to help in his condition that I could have kissed him.

"Alright, so what are we watching?" I asked as I dried my own hands and set the towel to dry.

"I ordered a few rom-coms" he said, not sounding too excited about it but not upset, either. "They arrived this morning" he added.

"Which ones?" I asked, getting excited at the possibilities. I didn't care if he didn't think they were very clever or artistic. I enjoyed them immensely.

"Clueless, I heard it was based off Jane Austen's Emma, though I can't imagine how. The Princess Bride, The Wedding Singer, Annie Hall… I can't believe this, but I also ordered Bridget Jones's Diary" he said, almost as if it pained him while my smile grew wider and wider, and I wanted to jump from joy. I loved every single one of those, though I hadn't seen Annie Hall.

I bit my lips to keep from squealing, but I couldn't help how excited I looked. I had been starved for some normal entertainment. I didn't deny that Will's kind of movies did usually end up being really good, but I felt like I needed something light, even if not so smart, every once in a while, just for fun.

"I was thinking The Wedding Singer? It's my least favorite, I'd rather get it out of the way first" he said with some grief.

I was too ecstatic to care and within moments I had popped the DVD into the player and was helping Will transition from the wheelchair into the couch. Then I brought him a blanket and laid it over his legs, then sat a good distance away from him. It started dawning on me that we were going to watch a romantic movie together and it might get uncomfortable for me. I didn't trust myself not to get wrapped up in the moment and do something stupid.

Sure enough, about an hour into the movie, I began to grow cold and was tempted to ask to share the blanket. But I knew better, so I paused the movie and began to get up.

"Where are you going?" he asked me as I passed by him.

"I need a cover, I'm cold" I said nervously. I knew he didn't know what I was thinking, but it still unnerved me.

He looked at me as if he wasn't sure I was serious.

I'd never needed one before since I usually sat down with him halfway through the movie, after dishes had been done, and didn't get to get cold since I wasn't there for so long.

"Here's one, Clark" he said as he lifted the one on him.

I felt my chest grew tight. Why had he suggested that? Now it made me look like I was afraid of being close with him. Why did I have to be such an idiot about this? Why couldn't I act like a normal person?

"Is it large enough?" I asked stupidly, knowing exactly how large it was being that I laid it on him every night when he was going to watch his film.

"Get in here" he motioned with his head and lifted the end to his right for me to get under it. I was so pleased by the proposal that I hardly knew what to do. I didn't want to smile as widely as I wanted to, but I didn't want to look upset to be under the blanket with him. I didn't want to walk to his side too quickly that I would look overly eager but, also not to slow that I looked like I was dreading it.

How did people do this? What was my normal speed of walking?

God, why had I agreed to this job?

Why did I do this to myself? Did I enjoy torture? Apparently so.

I tried to walk normally but I couldn't look into his eyes, as he followed me with his and I died to know what he was thinking of me as I approached him in the dark room, only lit by the TV screen and the light that came in through the door from the kitchen.

I didn't know if he was doing this on purpose, but I could see he had extra length of his blanket on his other side that he wasn't shifting over to make for more space for me to fit in beneath it.

As it was, there was barely enough space for me to sit beside him while still being covered by the stingy amount he was offering.

However, he seemed completely unaware of this as he looked at the paused screen while holding the blanket up for me to get under it.

I tried to sit as close as I could without snuggling next to him, but there really wasn't much blanket length for me be covered by.

"I don't bite, Clark" he said laughing easily and putting his arm around my waist and pulling me next to him, as close as physically possible while he looked down to me with a raised eyebrow and that knowing smile of his. If he knew he was making me nervous and was doing it on purpose, then it was an awful thing for him to do.

I knew he didn't get out much now, and he hadn't been on date in close to two months, what with our trip to Miami, then the week we spent with his dad, then Alicia breaking up with him and the accident and now being cooped up in here, but it didn't make it okay for him to take advantage of how easily it was for him to feed his ego through me, if that was what he was doing.

I sighed at myself internally.

I was attributing too much to him. He had no way of knowing the effect he had on me. We were friends, and as such, he felt comfortable being himself around me. It wasn't his fault I was falling for him.

I let him cover me, then put his arm behind me on the couch, and it was just too easy for me to lay my head on him. Too easy and too tempting.

I didn't know if I was stupid or weak, but the more time that passed the less I could resist and within another fifteen minutes, my head was resting comfortably on him, and he hadn't batted an eyelash about it, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

Perhaps for him it was. And it did feel so comfortable and right. As if our bodies were two puzzle pieces fitting together perfectly.

But my heart was having none of it, and it was palpitating madly as the movie came to end, and we watched Adam Sandler sing to Drew Barrymore on the plane, and then later their own wedding.

This wasn't healthy for me. But it also felt incredibly good, and I didn't want to move. I thought of pretending to be asleep, but that felt silly, so I just sat up and tried to act normal.

"Thanks for ordering these movies" I said with a genuine smile as I tried to ignore how close he was and how easy it would be to lean forward and taste his lips.

"My pleasure" he said genuinely, showing none of the negative emotions that I knew he felt towards these type of movies.

"No, it wasn't" I said lightly.

"No, it wasn't" he confirmed laughing.

"Which makes it the gesture all the more sweeter" I said laughing along but trying to be serious at the same time. "Thanks, Will" I said with a small smile but in all sincerity. I felt as if electricity was sparking from my body and its close proximity to him, and pulling me to him.

I broke eye contact and stood up, too afraid of my own weakness, trying to remind myself how awkward it would be if I gave in.

We lived together, but we _weren't_ together. I had to remember that.

Sometimes it was hard to keep the lines from getting blurry.

"Call me when you are ready for bed" I said, putting my discarded sandals back on and trying not to run, forgetting he was still sitting on the sofa and couldn't move to his chair without my help.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I tried to stay strong as he supported himself on me to transfer from the wheelchair to the already made bed.

"I'm sorry again, that I left you in the TV room" I said trying to make light of my mistake. "I'm not sure what got into me" I said with a small laugh, that came out more like nervous chuckle.

I stayed busy as I brought the blankets up to where he could reach them and adjusted his pillow so he could be comfortable.

He could use his hands now and probably could manage that on his own but I liked helping him and he didn't stop me.

Afterwards I went to the windows and began pulling the curtains together from the first, before moving on to the second.

There were so many intimate moments throughout the day now that just formed part of our routine. And yet I couldn't consolidate my mind to see them that way. It could only think- you're in his room, you're eating with him, you're managing his bank accounts and paying the bills with it. It was like living in an alternate reality in which we acted like a long-married couple, except for the married part, except for the love part.

Well, the love part was there, at least on my side, surely.

"Goodnight, Will" I said making my way to the door.

"Lou, wait" he said, and something about his tone made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Yes?" I asked, turning around and walking a little closer to the bed.

The lights were off, and all the illumination came from the hallway light behind me, offering shade to my expressions- which I was thankful for- while putting his on the spotlight for me to examine freely.

"Would you marry me?" he asked me, and the words flew threw my ears like if he'd asked me the most mundane thing in the world.

"What?" I asked trying to mask the knot that had risen to my throat with a small laugh.

" _Would_ you marry me?" he repeated the question, but I could swear I couldn't make out from his expression what the bloody hell he meant.

"So I could take care of you for free? Wouldn't you like that?" I asked with a laugh, sounding more in control of myself, and relieved I'd thought of that to say, because there was no way he meant what he was asking, not in the traditional way.

Even if all my dreams came true and he loved me, he'd never be the man to ask it so casually. There'd be fireworks and a diamond ring, and all things flashy.

So I _knew_ he didn't mean it like my heart wanted.

"You know, no legs and all… suppose I never got to walk again" he replied, though he didn't seem to be joking like I was.

"If you're asking if the leg situation would affect my answer, then no, it wouldn't" I answered honestly. I didn't really have to think about it much. I knew life with Will would be the best life possible, legs or no legs. You didn't have to go try everything when you had already been faced with your perfect match.

I understood now what people meant, when they said you know love when you feel it. There's just no doubt. Before, you're not sure if it's love or not- you'd like to think it is- but there's a doubt inside, nonetheless.

Then you _know_ love, and there's no doubt. It's like you had the knowledge of what it was all along, what it felt like, but you needed the right person to unlock it, and show you, and make you feel it.

"Is that all?" I asked, nervous that he had offered no other comment on the odd question.

"I figured, but I wanted to ask all the same" he replied.

"Why? Why did you want to know?" I couldn't help myself asking. I knew my emotions were taking over but I couldn't stop it.

"I was wondering, thinking about it" he said reflectively. "The doctors said I could have been paralyzed, and I've been thinking about it. If there was a person out there who'd be with someone like that, someone who couldn't… if there could be a love that strong, or a person so good to do that" he finished furrowing his eyebrows.

I couldn't believe that we were having this conversation.

My mind was struggling to keep up, and discern what was going on, but it felt like I was watching two other people talk. And the words were just coming out of me, no thinking process involved.

He seemed to truly be disturbed, and so I put aside my feelings for a moment, seeing he needed some reassurance, and realizing it wasn't personal.

"There's a lot of people like that, Will" I said kindly, coming closer. "Not just me. Wouldn't you do the same?" I asked.

"I don't think I could penalize anybody with spending the rest of their life with me, if I could offer nothing" he responded, getting visibly upset.

"If you think the best you have to offer has anything to do with your physical abilities… Will" I began, but started getting emotional, and stopped before my voice betrayed me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you with my morbid thoughts" he said laughing lightly, flashing that smile that could break my heart every time. "Come here" he said extending his arm out to me.

I hesitated. To go to his side of the bed would be to let the light shine on my face, and I was afraid of what I might show. But to refuse might give away more, and so after a few seconds of deliberation, I stepped forward and came around the bed.

I took a deep breath and approached him fully until I was within his reach.

He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips, while I tried to keep my countenance. His lips felt so good on my skin, I never wanted to stop feeling them. My eyes closed of their own accord to enjoy the sensation all the more, and I cursed inside me for my lack of self-control.

"I am so very, truly… so remarkably lucky to have you, you know that?" he asked me intensely.

"I know" I said smiling and rolling my eyes nervously, as if I heard that all the time. But he wasn't teasing, and he stayed serious, his eyes on me, as my own emotions erased the playful smile off my face.

Then before I could correct myself, I came closer and placed my lips on his forehead, relishing on the feeling of his warm skin under my lips, then pulled away.

But he had placed his hand on the back of my head and captured it, as our faces remained inches away from each other.

His fingers were pressed on my scalp and holding it in place firmly and decidedly.

I searched his eyes, afraid but hungrily, for an answer, an explanation that made sense.

But in his eyes I only saw what I felt could only be a reflection of my own.

I couldn't believe it, I rejected the idea, but then his forearm bent lower and brought me to him with a resolved strength, but fiercely gentle and sweet, and his lips caught mine, and kissed them with a passion that undid me, broke me into a million pieces, then put me back together so perfectly, so much better than before.

His lips felt as good as I had imagined it, no, better, infinitely better, and his movements were the precise harmony of faultlessness, and I'd felt that if kisses were meant to feel like this, evoke these feelings, then I'd certainly never been kissed before.

I shut my eyes closed, closed them so tight, to try and make sure I remembered every sensation, every emotion, every thrill that ran through my body and shook every cell within me, and printed it all over the walls of my mind.

Because I knew the moment I pulled away I would want to be able to recall it, and relive every second of it as the most perfect kiss, the most divine feeling, with the most astonishing and phenomenal man I had ever had the miraculous fortune of working for.

.

.

.

.

 **A/N: Thoughts? O_O please don't kill me, Chapter 33 coming as soon as possible.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hi everyone! A lot of you mentioned you would like to read last chapter from Will's POV, and I promise we will get to see into what was going on inside his head… in the next one. I'm going to break pattern and do another Lou POV, to serve the storyline better. I am sorry to do it this way, but I have a plan, I promise. Hope you enjoy! (:**

 **Chapter 33**

"I'm so glad you picked up! Can you come by before your shift?" I asked desperately as soon as I heard Nathan's voice on the other end of the line.

"Uh… why?" he asked sleepily. I had thought to call him early in the hopes he might have time to stop by.

"I need you to come and help Will out of bed, and with his morning routine, please" I asked dreading that he might demand to know why. And knowing Nathan, he would.

"Once again… why?" he repeated, obviously not happy with the request. "Is he alright?" he asked a little more alarmed.

"Yes, he's fine, I just… Can't you just come?" I asked, trying to resist the urge to bite my nails.

I had hardly slept last night, and not for any pleasant reason.

Even now, my feet couldn't help but to pace back and forth the length of my bedroom.

"No, you woke me an hour early, and are asking me to cover for you. You can tell me why, Lou" he said, sounding more awake.

I let out a frustrated sigh.

"You guys didn't…?" he asked, only I couldn't tell if he was concerned or relieved.

"No!" I replied instantly.

"Oh…" he answered.

"We just… kissed" I admitted, covering my face with the hand that wasn't holding the mobile.

I heard a rough outtake of breath come out of him.

"About bloody time" was his response.

"What!" I gasped at his surprising reaction.

"I'm going back to sleep, Lou" he said with a chuckle.

"No, Nathan, please!" I tried to stop him before he hung up on me.

"Go and help your man out of bed, Louisa. I will give you props, though" he replied.

"For what?" I asked, my interest peaked. What did he know that I didn't?

"For breaking him so much earlier" he said, sounding as if he was impressed.

Then I heard utter silence.

"Damn!" I tried to say not too loud.

What had he meant with that? My mind was too tired, too exhausted from turning things over in my head all night.

I brought my hand to my forehead, the coldness of it surprising me, but also providing some relief to the small pain that was festering in the front of my head and sinuses.

I let out a breath and let my body collapse back on my bed with a dull thud. My covers were twisted uncomfortably under me from all my tossing and turning all night, but I couldn't muster the will to get up and set them aside, or even make my bed.

I took a look around me.

In the light of the progressing dawn, the pink of my walls looked especially lovely and fantastical. The light coming from my window was singularly intense where it came through directly, in the shape of a rectangle, illuminating sharply a collage of pictures I had on the wall opposing the window. The edge of the light was cutting through it, and especially calling my eye to look at a picture I loved. It was Will and I in New York. He had taken it of us against the backdrop of Times Square. It was possibly my favorite of Will and I. He had that rare smile that he reserved for only very special moments. I hadn't quite figured out how to trigger it, but I had thought it so special that it had been captured in a picture of us. And so I had printed it and added it to the large collage that I had brought over to this house from my room back home.

I stood up slowly and approached it. My hand reached out to touch and caress his features. I was defenseless in the face of such a lovely expression, and I was smiling warmly within seconds.

My heart jumped as the hope flickered inside once again. I had never been one to be pessimistic. I always tried to see and to believe the best out of people, and to expect the best possible outcome. I had a notion that if you expected the worst, then it was bound to happen. But if you set your hopes on the best possible outcome, then that insured that you worked towards it, and more often than not, I had found it worked to bring it about.

I had often been the listening ear for my parents, when their hopes had been brought low by our circumstances, and was successful in bringing a smile to their faces, along with some positivity towards the future.

My dad would always tell me that he would work to see the world as I did, and that it sounded really beautiful from my eyes.

I loved hearing that. If I hadn't brought them the pride that they felt in Treena, at least I could be of some use for them, if only to help them keep positive and fighting to go on.

So why couldn't I do it for myself now? I felt like I should be jumping from joy, waking rested after having had beautiful dreams of Will and I, excited to take on the day. Instead, I was groggy and tired, and too preoccupied to have slept.

We had kissed! He had initiated it, too! So why wasn't I rushing to his room, to see him again, to kiss him again?

The butterflies attacked my stomach, but a little too violently to be able to interpret them as happy flutters.

Why was I letting the worst of me surface in this very moment when I needed my positive and bright outlook on life the most?

Did I not believe that Will could have been sincere? That rang true, truer than any other thought I'd had all night.

I wanted to step on it, crush it and throw it away, but it wasn't letting me. It was flashing in the front of my brain like a bright neon sign.

But why couldn't he have? He cared about me, I didn't doubt that, not anymore. Why couldn't that friendly care have turned into a romantic kind? Was it so far-fetched that a man like Will would settle for me?

I wasn't under any illusions as far as my looks. While I knew I did have some allure physically, I wasn't under any fancies that they were to be compared to his last girlfriend, Alicia. And girls like Alicia didn't date below them. She was surely very at par with him, and I was sure his past relationships were as well.

In any way you looked at it, he could do better than me, surely, as far as looks were concerned. He didn't know how much I cared for him, how much I was willing to go through for him, so it couldn't be that that had any weight into his decision.

He had probably gotten caught up in the intimacy of the moment, the left-over feelings from the film, and the fact that he had been alone romantically for some weeks now.

It happened to people. I could understand him and forgive him, even if it did cause me some heartache. But he was my friend, and my boss. I could put it aside, understand it, see no more into it than was proper, and move on.

I was sure he was wishing for me to do that in that very moment. He might be looking back into his actions, and regretting that he let himself get caught up in the moment and compromised our relationship.

And I was willing and able to save him the embarrassment and awkwardness of having to clarify and explain himself. I loved him enough to do that.

So with that, my energies and determination rose in an uplifting wave of positivity that would have put a proud smile on my dad's face, and got to the kitchen to figure out what needed to be bought from the store today.

It was too early for him to be awake but too late for me to go to sleep, so I decided I could get started with my day. I didn't usually go to the market while he was still sleeping but if I was quick about it, I could be back before he even noticed I was gone.

And I was sure that leaving the house would do me good, help me clear my head and organize my thoughts. And indeed, by the time I was parking Will's car in the garage, I was feeling confident that I could be my normal self around Will, even after that mind-numbing kiss, and perhaps, we could even talk of it eventually and laugh about how silly we were.

Just then, my mobile buzzed from my purse, and I had reached it within seconds. There was his contact picture flashing on my screen, and crumbling all the reasonable thoughts I had been trying to drill into my head for the last hour.

I considered letting it go and just seeing him once I got inside, but ended up deciding to answer it and get the first conversation over with. Perhaps I could keep my wits about me if I wasn't looking at his handsome face.

"Hi there" I said smiling, hoping the forcedness of my ease could not be heard in my tone.

"Where are you, Clark?" he asked uncharacteristically soft. It took me by surprise and shook me.

"I'm… here. I just went to the store like every morning" I said normally, even though there was something creeping inside me, some feeling that wanted to force me to be tender, to call him something I wasn't meant to.

"You usually help me out of bed first" he stated slowly.

"I know… but I was… awake, and thought I'd do it earlier" I replied, sitting in the car, wondering to myself why I wasn't moving to go inside. Perhaps, I liked having this wall between us, as if not seeing his face kept the events of last night from enforcing their weight.

There was silence on the other end. This wasn't like Will. I tried to remain calm, but my heart began beating faster, and my hands grew cold.

"Right" he finally answered. "I'll see you soon, then" he added, but I couldn't tell if it was a question or a statement.

I walked to the back of the car to grab the small bag and the newspaper, but I couldn't see more than what was right ahead of me. It was like having tunnel vision, and slow hearing. The world around me was lagging, and my balance began to falter.

Even trying to get the door open took more focus than usual, my cold fingers fumbling with the key chain as I tried to coordinate the keyhole with the tip of the key to align.

I took my time putting away the small number of items I had come home with, but there wasn't too much to deter me from seeing him.

And when it was time to open the door to his room, it felt like my feet were glued onto the floor, my hands numb at my sides, unwilling to move and perform the action.

Finally, I took a deep breath, and tried to call back the feeling I'd had in my room, when the soft rays of daybreak had illuminated our picture, and I had known I could rise above anything for him, anything.

The feeling was muted and weaker, but it was there, and before it could disappear again, I pressed my hand down on the door handle and pushed it open.

And there he was, slightly sitting up against his pillows, his hair in a tumbled mess of a bedhead, and the stubble on his jaw becoming visible.

"Good morning" I said, even though we had already spoken. Seeing him sent jolts of elation through me, and I had to bite my lip not to smile like a blushing idiot.

We had kissed. And I had to push that thought to the back of my head, but the more I looked at him, the less I wanted to do it, and the more I wanted to rush to him and crush that mouth under mine till he promised me I was the only girl for him.

Because no matter how little I believed it, I wanted it to be true so bad that I believed myself capable of convincing my own mind of it.

Was I imagining what I wanted to see or was he trying to hide a smile as well?

"How'd you sleep?" I asked trying to sound casual.

"I've slept better… how about you?" he asked me.

"Same" I said with a small chuckle as I came around the bed towards where he was.

Then my mind flashed back to the night before, when I had done the very same thing, and ended up kissing him.

I felt a sickening feeling rise to my throat as the urge to repeat those events became stronger and stronger till I had to look away if I wanted to remain in control of my actions.

"Clark" he directed himself at me, as serious as a heart attack, but with such feeling, as let me know he was about to bring up the kiss.

"Yes?" I replied, sounding too formal, but not really knowing what else to say. Rather than to look at him, I tried to keep busy getting his wheelchair over to him to get him out of bed.

"Clark, stop" he begged, reaching out to me. The feeling in his voice sent my heart beating faster, and a heat to rise from my shoulders up.

"What?" I asked, not realizing that I sounded annoyed till the word was out of my mouth, and regretting it instantly.

I saw him look down, then at me again, eyebrows furrowed.

This was so awful. Why did we have to let this make things weird?

"It's fine, Will" I said trying to sound more normal, but not succeeding completely.

I watched him twist his head sideways, as if he was trying to assess something, and I wished so badly I could have read his thoughts then.

"No, it's not" he said, giving me a look that in all the months I had worked for him, I had never seen. But it seemed to me that must be his disapproving face. I wasn't used to it, and I didn't like it. In fact, it made me sad so suddenly and so strongly that I had to take a deep breath to keep the emotion from showing in a childish frown.

And what did he mean, that it wasn't fine? Did we not remember things the same way?

"You were the one who kissed me, Will" I said, trying not to get upset. If he was blaming me, then he was wrong in thinking I'd let him.

The reality was that the amount of different emotions that were surging through me were so many and so confusing that I hardly knew what they were myself.

"I know" he said looking away momentarily.

"Are we really doing this?" I asked, wishing he had ignored the subject as I had planned to do myself.

"Doing what?" he asked, though I felt sure he knew exactly what I meant.

"What's your problem, Will?" I asked, tears coming to my eyes.

His eyebrows lifted in his forehead, and I thought I saw a little hurt.

"My problem?" he asked as he gulped.

"Yes, you had to go and make things… complicated! You know, just because I am a girl and you are lonely doesn't give you the right to…" I began but stopped before I said the rest and admitted my feelings. It was shameful enough that I was crying.

"Is that what you think of me, Clark?" he asked, for the first time raising his voice slightly.

"What _am_ I supposed to think?" I asked, begging with my eyes for him to reveal himself, so I could stop having to try and decipher his actions and emotions.

He looked down and shook his head disappointingly, his eyes empty.

But in truth, if he was disappointed, so was I.

I had thought he was different, now. That he respected me unlike his past secretaries. But if he thought he could use me like them… I was the stupid one. I had to go and put him on a pedestal, make him out to be the way I wanted in my head, hoping for what I wanted rather than what was realistic. Some men… well, there was no fixing them.

"Please, get me out of bed" he said, not meeting my eyes, but he looked more ashamed to require help than ever, as if it hurt him to say the words.

And I knew then that I was fired for sure.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The days went by, and I heard no more from him than what was painstakingly necessary.

 _Get me out of bed._

 _I would like to go to bed._

 _Please, hand me that on the top shelf._

 _I'll take my dinner now._

But no word of being dismissed. And certainly, no word about the kiss.

I had a constant sickening feeling in my stomach. It was there throughout the day, when I went to bed, and it was back seconds after I woke up. There was a moment of respite, when I opened my eyes after a night of sleep, right before I remembered that Will and I had been reduced to almost strangers over a kiss.

And as much as I hated the distance between us, when I closed my eyes and recalled the feeling of his lips on mine, it was almost worth it, as long as I could remember it in such detail. But as the days passed, the memory faded more. And I could remember less and less how his lips felt, what his night shirt had smelled like, the exact motions of the kiss, how firmly his fingers had held my head in place, and it saddened me.

Friday had arrived and no words had passed as far as the wedding. Did he still want me to come? I couldn't imagine why he would. But why hadn't he said anything about it? Or did he assume that I could put two and two together?

I had packed the night before, just in case, in the hopes that his anger at me had softened, and we could go back to normal. I missed our conversations, and his playful tone.

I couldn't help but feel guilty over the way I had handled things. I had let my feelings and confusion make a mess of me. He had been trying to talk about the kiss, to clear the air, and I had been immature and, dare I say it, temperamental. I had been on the verge of apologizing many times, but then I let fear hold me back. Fear of what he would say, of how he would react, fear that I would only make things worse than they already were.

His voice brought me out of my thoughts, startling me and making me drop the knife with which I had been cutting onions.

"We should leave after lunch" had been his words.

I had been too struck to speak, but also so relieved he still wanted me to accompany him.

"It's a four-hour drive" he added after a second, and I could see on his computer screen how he was mapping the route.

"Sounds good" I tried to say without letting my voice sound as nervous as I felt, as I handed the knife again and continued to cut. I thought I could see his head turning to look at me but I couldn't be sure.

Anyways, I tried to look as humble and ashamed as I felt, hoping my face could say what my mouth couldn't.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The car ride had been quiet mostly, apart from the music coming from the stereo and his directing me where to turn and how far to go before the next turn.

We had made it with three hours to get settled in to our hotel room, and get ready for the rehearsal dinner.

I couldn't help but think how the last time we had stayed in a hotel together, it had been all so different. He had been walking and looking so stylish, ready to take on the gala and the challenges it provided. And then we had danced the dance he had bought for $25,000.

Will had done that?

He had.

He had paid $25,000 to dance with me…

Whatever he might have been in the past, I knew I wasn't wrong about the man he was.

And now I couldn't believe I had let my insecurities and fears push him away.

What if he had kissed me because he wanted to kiss _me_?

Couldn't I have believed it possible that he would want me for what I was even if he had so many other choices?

It was such a nice idea. It would be so wonderful if he did.

It was in those thoughts that I got dressed in my green dress with the blue flowers, and did my hair in the simple updo that I knew how to do. I inserted the small white daises on the side where the side bun struggled to stay in place and I sighed.

Would I look ridiculous? Maybe.

Did I care? Yes.

For once, I cared more than ever. For once, I was doubting whether who I was was enough for Will. And if being at this party surrounded by beautiful people of his status would convince him once and for all that I was below him in every way.

Would he look at the other girls, in their posh dresses, and look at me and wonder why he ever felt tempted to kiss me?

I hadn't realized but I had started crying, and once I started it was like dam had broken loose.

I had let myself get too attached to a man that wasn't mine to have, and now I was suffering for it, and suffering bitterly.

The pain from the last few days washed over me in waves that shook my body as I sobbed and heaved. And I knew I couldn't take it anymore, not even for Will.

I couldn't live this way. I couldn't live with this pain.

I'd finish out this weekend and give him my notice. I'd wait till he found a replacement but no more.

Once I had exhausted myself, I took a look at my face, puffy and red, and wondered how I would ever face all the guests this way.

My mascara had run down my face, and the tears had wetted my foundation and blush.

I washed my face quickly with cold water and tried to reapply what make up I had time for.

"Louisa!" I heard Will call out from outside my door as he knocked on it.

"I'm coming!" I hollered back and was able to hear my voice, raspy and shaky.

I couldn't go, not like this.

I pulled down the bun that was already coming undone, and let my hair fall on my shoulder.

I grabbed the key and walked out to meet Will.

He was sitting there, wearing one of his tuxedos, looking every bit as handsome as ever.

"What's the matter, Louisa?" he asked softly, reaching out to touch my elbow.

His soft words and gesture startled me, but I refused to look him in the eye and let him see how red mine were.

"I'll drive you there, and you can text me when you are ready for me to pick you up" I said taking a deep breath to steady my voice.

"No" he stated simply. "We won't go then" he said with no hesitation, searching my face.

"Will, it's your cousin's rehearsal dinner. You have to go" I said and tried to begin to walk down the hall.

"No" he said again, holding on to my forearm with his hand. "What's the matter?" he asked, reinforcing the question.

"It's my hair. It's all wrong, as you can see, and my makeup too. Don't worry about it, though" I said trying to sound normal.

"Come here" he said.

I stepped closer to him.

"Closer" he demanded and I leaned forward as he reached out to my face.

Then I felt his fingers tug at my hair. He had pulled a few of the flowers that had stayed stuck there.

"Oh" I said, not having realized I hadn't picked them all out, and also disappointed, though why I thought he was going to kiss me again, I couldn't tell you.

Then he placed it behind my ear along with the hair that was falling on the side of my face.

"Perfect" he said with the first smile I had seen in days.

Then his hand began to fall away, but he lifted it again and came to my cheekbone where there was still some moisture from my last tear.

So he did know I had been crying. Great.

I wanted to be nervous about it, but his face was so sincere and assuring that I couldn't help but to feel comforted.

"But my makeup…"

"You look… fine, Clark" he interrupted.

"That's what all men say just to get you out the door all the sooner" I said with a playful roll of my eyes.

"Well, yes… but this man means it" he said with a smile as well. And I felt as if a ton of bricks had been lifted off my back.

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 **A/N: The dinner and the wedding will be next chapter (: I had wanted to do those two from Lou's POV as well, but it will work from Will's as well. I had originally planned to include it in this chapter but it was going to be too long, so be on the lookout for them on chapter 34.**

 **Sorry for the angst in this chapter, but I promise there are happy days ahead!**

 **Thank you everyone! As always, I look forward to knowing what you think of the chapter (:**


	34. Chapter 34

**Thank you once again to those who reviewed and read last chapter (: I always appreciate your feedback so much! I do apologize I wasn't able to respond to you guys earlier. These last few days have been trying. Hubby was in the hospital and I was very scared for his health. Thankfully, it wasn't as bad as it could have been, and he is home and recovering. However, I did read every one of them and appreciate you taking out the time to write them!**

 **Also, I did want to say that when I say a chapter would have gotten too long so I stopped it, I don't mean too long for you guys (: I know you are all eager to know what happens next, and would love to keep reading. I mean too long for** _ **me**_ **to write. It takes me anywhere from 7-10 hours to write each chapter and edit it. Perhaps, I am slower than most but it's the best I can do ): So if I were to make the chapters longer it might very well take several more days for me to update, being that due to my crunched schedule those hours come in small increments here and there, when I can squeeze the time in.**

 **Anyways, this note has gotten too long! Props to you if you are still reading! Hope you enjoy the chapter! (:**

 **Chapter 34**

If I haven't reprimanded myself for what I did a hundred times, then I haven't done it at all.

I was doing it before I had realized what it was I was about to do.

I felt like an idiot for trusting myself, and allowing myself to lead things in that direction.

I had a plan, and it was perfect.

Now if I'd only followed it. If I'd only waited for the right time…

Nathan thinks it will be fine. But he only sees her in the evenings when he comes by, and she acts like everything is normal around him.

He doesn't see the way she acts the rest of the day.

I can't tell if she is upset, or sad, or both. At times her eyebrows come together, and wrinkles the skin of her forehead, and if she happens to be chopping a vegetable or a piece of meat, it looks as if she'd rather be stabbing or cutting someone else.

I'd guess that'd be me.

But then, at other times, she looks sad, and contemplative. She gets lost in her thoughts as she stares at nothing at all.

I am aware that I could just ask her to talk to me about it, to explain what is making her feel upset, but then I get a very clear image of her crying angry tears at me as she tells me what I already know- that I kissed her. That I'd ruined things. That I'd fallen back to my old habits, and she despised me for it.

And I to admit it. I didn't make it look good for me, either.

This was exactly what I had been trying to avoid.

This was exactly why I wanted to wait till I was better, and then I could do things properly.

What must it look like that now, when I am in a wheelchair and trapped in a house all day with nothing better to do, that I decide to watch a romantic film with her and then kiss her in my bed?

It doesn't look good, that's what.

It looks like the cheap moves of a playboy, who is just taking advantage of his limited options.

And I knew it, too.

That's why I wanted to wait. To show her I wanted to be with her above anyone else in the world, even if and when I had other choices, even once I had risen in the world again, that she was the only one that I wanted. That while she may have started out as my assistant, it was more than an office thing, or the product of spending too much time together.

That it wasn't the change in my circumstances that made me consider being with her.

But I knew that would take some convincing. I hadn't exactly set things up right from the start. I had no qualms in telling her I had hired her because I had thought her the least attractive of the group. I had even had some fault in trying to make her conform to what I thought was a better version of her, by buying her clothes that fit the status quo of an assistant in her place. If of one thing I was sure, it was that I had done a full job of giving her the impression that as a woman she didn't add up to my expectations.

It shamed me to think, and even hurt me to remember, that I had said, and done those things to her.

How was I supposed to convince her that she had changed my mind completely and utterly? That I saw nothing wanting in her? But rather saw her as the epitome of feminine perfection? That kissing her lips had been more than a spur of the moment, or the calculated machinations of a womanizer with no other choice?

How could I convince her that I had merely not been able to restrain myself from doing what I'd been dreaming of for weeks?

I knew words wouldn't work. She knew me, and my skills at convincing others for my own benefit too well. She wouldn't believe a word I said. I was a professional bullshitter, and she knew it.

I had two choices- give up, or show her.

The first was not an option, not for me. And the second would need some good planning, and thinking over.

I had dedicated my brain power to that on the days following, when I hadn't been working on my business advising online.

There wasn't much I could do at the house to prove anything, however. My words would be my only way of convincing her. And I had to admit, the thought of pouring my heart out wasn't appealing, either.

On top of the fact that she might have a hard time believing me capable of such strength of feeling. I had certainly never given her the impression that I had it in me to love someone the way I loved her- tenderly, and devotedly.

Hell, I had hardly ever imagined myself in the position before I had fallen for her.

Thankfully, there was the wedding coming up. And I could imagine a way or two that I might be able to begin showing her that I was sincere, that I was in it for the long haul, and hopefully then, I might be able to fix things before it was too late.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

She had been crying. I was sure of it. I had seen all my girlfriends take great part in that activity in the past, including, and most recently, Alicia.

I recognized the puffy nose, the red and glossy eyes, that shameful look, the breathing through the mouth- it was all there.

And if that wasn't enough, the wet trail of a tear was still present on the side of her face.

I wasn't buying her excuse that it was her hair and make-up that was causing her not to want to go. While her hair did look as if it had recently come undone, her make-up had obviously been washed off, most likely as a result of the crying, as I could see the dark circles of resistant mascara under her eyes, and lingering on some of the eyelashes.

No, I didn't know what had caused this, but of one thing I was sure.

There was no way I was leaving her on her own to deal with whatever it was that had unsettled her so.

Besides, I wasn't exactly ecstatic at the prospect of spending the next two hours surrounded by relatives who would all demand I tell them the story of how I had ended up on this chair, then look at me pityingly as I recounted I had lost my high-end job as I result of it. And I could live without meeting Clara's fiancée's family for another day.

The idea of staying back on the justification that my date had fallen ill was not a bad prospect at all.

But if I _was_ going to endure it, it would have to be with her.

Finally, she did agree to accompany me, after my assurances that she looked 'fine'.

Sure, it took some self-control to not call her 'beautiful', for even with her lack of make-up, she looked every bit as lovely as ever, as long as I could cause that smile of hers to materialize on her face.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

I watched Lou's shoulders slump more and more, as she took in all the splendor of the large room where the dinner was taking place. It shouldn't have surprised me. Clara's fiancée- Eduard- came from good money, and this dinner was most likely being paid for by his family.

I hadn't met him in person more than once, a few years back when they hadn't been dating for more than a few months. Clara was fresh out of college at Oxford, where they had met, and she had brought him to the family graduation party my parents had forced onto Georgina.

I have to admit, he didn't cause much of an impression then. He wasn't very striking in any sense of the word, and my guess was that Clara had been most attracted to his well-placed family. But then again, who knew? Perhaps she liked dull men.

What I did remember was how every story he told, he had to make special emphasis on what extravagant measures it took for him- from having to sit in coach once- to his horror, to renting out a three-story yacht once to get somewhere because the road to it was not pleasant enough to look at. Now I'm the last person to deny myself a comfort if I can afford it, but there's a limit. And at least, I don't enjoy to hear myself talk all the time about how rich I am. Or rather, how rich I was.

In other words, there was another reason to be glad to have Lou with me. She was the perfect excuse to get away from the man if he cornered me. She could be waiting on a drink, or I could pretend I could see her calling me over.

But even now, after we had been ceremoniously introduced to his parents, and we had exchanged pleasantries with Clara and 'Eddie', as well as my own aunt and uncle, I could see Lou's hands patting down the skirt of her dress nervously, even though it was perfectly wrinkleless, and tucking her hair behind her ears, even though it looked perfectly lovely when it framed her face.

Fortunately, it didn't last long.

Slowly, I saw her smiles become more genuine, and her shoulders began to relax more and more, as she engaged in conversation with the elderly couple sitting by her other side. As I didn't know them, I could only presume they were family of the groom.

Though they were dressed elegantly, their attire lacked the unrestrained lavishness of most of the guests.

I had been occupied by my great-uncle Bert, and had been unable to detach myself from his conversation, while silently wishing I could turn around and take part in Clark's, which had to be more interesting than my having to repeat my story once again, and answering all his impertinent questions about the state of my finances.

The rest of the night inched by slowly, as I looked for opportunities to make a gesture to Lou in some way or another, but found none.

Then came the time for the toasts. And as for public speaking, I was soon able to confirm neither family had any particular gifts.

Eddie's father went on a tangent about his prowess in raising his son to be the man he was today, blah, blah, blah.

All it served for was to make me angry as I thought of my dad making such a speech at my wedding. I would hate for him to take credit for who I was, when I wished to be nothing like him.

We had seen him and my mother earlier, and while they looked apprehensive to me see me with Lou, I expected they knew better than to ask about it in front of her.

But as the other family members rose to toast the happy couple, I saw my opportunity.

Once my cousin Chuck sat down from an awkward toast in which he told the groom he was the "luckiest man alive", I saw my opportunity.

Everyone had slowly and quietly clapped, as he raised his glass and took a seat, and I think they were all too stunned by the uncomfortable compliment for anyone to follow.

"Lou, help me stand, please" I asked her before someone else had to the opportunity to beat me to it. "I'd like to give a toast".

"Are you sure you should?" she asked worrisomely.

"Quickly" I said, afraid I would lose my chance.

I watched her stand next to me, then put one arm around my back, as the other supported my forearm, as I pushed down on it to get on my feet, without straining my recovering knees too much.

Only when I was halfway up did I realize I had not picked up my glass, and was using both my hands for support, grasping Lou's thinner one as I struggled not to put more weight on my legs than was necessary.

"Will, I'm not sure this is a good idea" she whispered close to ear, as my shaky lower limbs tried to remain strong but causing as little pain as possible.

"I'm sure" I said convincingly, hoping she remembered my determination when I spoke my speech.

Just then, she saw my dilemma as the glass remained on the table, and without a free hand out of our four to lightly clink it to signal that I meant to speak.

I saw the panic already on her face intensify, then her eyes searched those of the elderly couple beside us.

I watched the woman react and reach for her own glass, before clinking it lightly.

"Thank you" I said to her before looking out into the faces of the rest of the party.

Some were looking at me with pity, a few others with compassion, and some were seemingly still recovering from the uncomfortable moment before.

"Will, please, you can toast sitting down" I heard Clara say from her seat at the head of the main table.

"Thank you, but I am alright" I assured her before taking a deep breath to collect my thoughts and organize the words I would say. "I wish I had as touching of a story as my dear uncle Harold's, or a funny anecdote, like the best man's" I said, totally spacing out on what his name was, "or an entertaining one like Laura's" I added looking over to Clara's older sister who smiled at having her toast be called entertaining. I could tell I had everyone's attention. "Now, I'm not married, nor can I claim to be an expert on love…" and then I heard a few low chuckles, no doubt from the family members who believed me to go around sleeping with anyone, "but I can tell you a thing or two that I believe might help you on this adventure you and Eddie are about to embark on" I said directing a smile at Clara, and made a pause. "Oftentimes, we look at marriage as passage of life, as an inevitable step we must all take so as to we are not alone in our old age, and, let's admit it, to get our relatives off our case" I said, and heard laughter erupt around the room.

I took a hissing breath, as I felt the shooting pain in my legs screech louder at my nerves, whose demand for me to sit down became harder and harder to ignore.

I could see Clark's eyes just beside me as she examined every micro expression on my features, looking for any sign that I couldn't take the pain anymore.

I felt my jaw tighten as I tried to control my face and remain looking put together.

"But we all know deep down that it's more than that. Or, at least, we discover it sooner or later. Some are born with that knowledge, like Clara here" I said tenderly, "who was already imagining the day she became a missus for as far back as I can remember. And all she had to do was wait until she met the man who completed her. The one who actively made her want to be a better person, every day, just to deserve them a little better" I added, and began to look around at the audience whose eyes were glued onto me. "You know… that person who drives you insane while simultaneously putting a smile on your face, because you just can't help but love them more everyday with every fiber of your being. That person who, even when you are upset with each other, can send your heart beating faster than a wild horse, to the point where staying apart physically hurts, and you'll do anything just to make them happy again. Anyone who's truly loved knows exactly what I am talking about" I slowly said, gave a small smile then took another full pause.

"So, dear Clara" I said looking at her once again with a smile, "I congratulate you for finding that person, and holding on them. Just remember that feeling, even as you grow older and the shine of your wedding day begins to fade… don't forget those feelings. Cultivate them. And every day look for new ways to love each other more, and to make each other more loveable and worthy of the other person. Because as long as that love remains strong, and pure, and steadfast… there is not a single obstacle you two can't overcome, I _promise_ it" I said, and with a nod to signal the end of my speech, I began to sit back down.

Everyone lifted their glasses, and there were low voices of agreement scattered through the room.

I heard Clara and Eddie thank me politely, and a deep breath escaped my mouth as my knees received relief from the brutal pain as my body rested back on the chair.

I looked to Lou out of the corner of my eye, as her hands lingered on my arm a bit longer than necessary, and the happiness of the prospect that I might have started to shed her wrongful image of me and turned her even the slightest bit towards thinking me capable of loving her, overshadowed any remaining physical pain in my body.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Lou walked slowly beside me as we reached the end of the long hotel hallway where our rooms were. Hope flickered within me as I watched her take each step slower than the last the nearer we got to our rooms.

"So, how did you like the rest of my family?" I asked her, breaking the silence.

"Clara seemed sweet… the rest, I can't even remember who was who" she said with a bashful smile.

I chuckled at her response.

"There will be other occasions" I assured her.

"Yes, tomorrow" she agreed.

"Hopefully others, too" I replied looking up at her.

"Will…" she began.

"Look, Clark, I know I botched things up…" I said, stopping her from saying whatever she meant to say. She took in a deep breath, but didn't release it as she looked intently at me. We had both stopped walking and rage rose within me at having to have this conversation looking up at her.

I wanted to stand up again, even if it hurt, even if it messed me up some.

She saw my intentions and stopped me.

"Will, stop" she pleaded, as she came down onto her knees before me.

Seeing her kneel bellow me, with those eyes of hers full of emotion, as she looked me in mine full of regret and disappointment.

I wanted to go back, take it all back, do things right.

Had I messed it up too bad to fix it?

I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true.

It didn't matter if I had.

Because there was no way I was giving up on the most wonderful woman I'd ever met, no matter what it cost me.

"I am sorry, Lou. I am sorry I let myself… you don't deserve for me to make you feel anything short of amazing. You've been a blessing to me. And I don't think I could go back to my life without knowing you and having you in it" I said, careful to avoid any flowery language that could sound rehearsed or insincere.

"Will… I had meant to tell you, that I think it might be best…" she said and looked down to her knees, and I knew I would hate what she was about to say, "if you find a new caretaker" she finished softly.

I couldn't speak. I could only shake my head, slowly and heavily.

"No… No" I said firmly and decidedly. "Lou, why? Because we kissed? That was nothing, it could happen to anybody! It doesn't mean we can't… be friends" I tried to make her reason, tried not to let the emotions that were trying to surface take control, but she had already stood up.

"You don't understand, Will" she said as her cheeks began to redden.

"Then, help me, Clark! Help me understand what I have to do to make you stay" I begged her, no longer caring about my dignity, about my manliness. I couldn't remember a time before when I had felt so bare and vulnerable, but it was as if I had been shed of my coverings, and I was there, naked and bare, but it was too important of a moment to care, to even think of it, because I couldn't let things continue to destroy themselves. I couldn't live with myself if I had to know that I had pushed the best thing that had happened to me away for good.

She looked as if she was considering telling me, finally shedding light on how I could make things better.

She opened her mouth as if to speak, but then her eyes met mine and she looked down, closing her mouth right along.

"I can't…" she said shaking her head softly.

"Why not?" I asked, feeling the wheels on my head turn, as if something was finally clicking. I felt as if my subconscious knew the answer. I had all the information I needed, but I couldn't find the answer in the muddle that were my usually serene thoughts.

"It's not something I can ask of you, Will" she said, but looked as if she was holding something back. I watched her eyebrows furrow as she looked at her shoes.

I waited patiently for her to continue.

But no more words came, and she shuffled her feet to keep moving.

"You can ask anything of me, Lou" I said as profoundly as I could, my hand reaching out to catch hers but missing by mere centimeters.

My skin tingled where it should have met hers, missing the feel, and aching for it and so much more.

"Not this" she said, and barely looked me in the eye for a second, and walked ahead to her room.

And it finally clicked.

I didn't trust my own head to have come up with this deduction on its without help from any emotions. And as much I wanted to grasp to that conclusion as if my life depended on it, I was cautious.

The worst could happen still if I was wrong.

But I felt happiness spread through me at the possibility that what she wanted to ask of me was exactly the very thing I was dying to overflow her with till I exhaled my last breath.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Sleep had been difficult to come to that night. I had stayed eyes wide open staring at the ceiling of my room.

My head was turning and turning, considering all the alternatives, all the outcomes, trying to work out the best way to go about things.

And the more I thought about it, the more my courage rose.

The emotions had been there in her eyes the whole time, I just hadn't known what they were, hadn't been able to identify them, having been so unexperienced with them myself.

But then, I was finally able to put my finger on it. I had been able to finally recall where I had seen it before.

It should have been obvious to me, from the beginning.

Because they were the same eyes I saw staring back at me when I looked in the mirror, when my thoughts drifted to her, and I saw my face take a form I had never seen it do before.

And they were the eyes I had seen in our New York pictures together. It was the same expression; how could I have missed it?

Had we been feeling the same feelings, holding back, afraid of losing what we held most dear?

If one positive thing came out of her wish for me to find someone new was that I was finally decided, that one way or another, I had to come back home with her, not as my caretaker, but as my girl.

And I had to make it happen this weekend, before she had the chance to leave and put the distance between us.

It was now or never.

When I woke up the next morning, I was feeling refreshed and energies were high, even if my stomach couldn't tolerate to even think of breakfast.

Lou had come to help me onto my chair and set out my things for me to get ready.

I couldn't tell if she had had a realization similar to mine, but our interactions that morning seemed to have washed off the bitter conversation we had shared the night before.

If she had meant to encourage me, I didn't know. But encourage me she did.

She hadn't touched me mechanically, the way she had been doing the past week. Her touches were warm and careful, like those of someone who cared.

And we were back to our playful banters, bringing on my favorite smile of hers.

But she didn't linger. Once I had assured her I desired no breakfast she departed with a last smile as she closed the door after herself.

I readied myself meticulously for the wedding. My hair was given more thought than I had dedicated to it in months, and once it was done, I had to admit it had come out quite nicely.

I gave the mirror my most dashing smile, raised one eyebrow and moved my head in different directions to make sure there wasn't a hair that was out of place.

I even flexed to my own embarrassment, checking to see how the exercise from pushing the chair manually had affected my arms.

I wasn't disappointed with the results. My arms were indeed larger and more toned than I had ever seen them, and even if they'd be hidden under the sleeves of my tuxedo, it inspired confidence in me, that even in this chair, I could charm Lou.

I shaved scrupulously, making sure it was as close a shave as I could manage without the risk of cutting my skin. But I had the time and the motivation, and twenty minutes later I contemplated the results with approval.

I pulled out my go to scent- L'eau Serge Lutens, and lightly spritzed some in the pulse points of my body and gave it time to dry before I got dressed.

The time to see Lou again dragged painfully slow, and if the clock had ever felt like it wasn't moving, it was that day.

There was still another hour to go when I heard a knock at my door.

I wheeled myself to it, and was pleasantly surprised to see Lou standing before me with a tray.

"You're going to need _some_ food in your stomach if you don't want to starve" she said with a smile.

I couldn't deny that while in the morning I hadn't been able to appetize anything, my stomach had eventually begun to growl and demanded some sustenance.

"Thank you" I said to her, grateful she had thought of it.

"Some food from downstairs. I asked for whatever was best on the menu" she said apologetically.

"We shall see" I said trying to sound the least snobbish possible, even if I was silently praying that it was edible, but then felt awful to make her feel like her gesture could be inadequate. "It's actually quite good" I said, after swallowing the first bite.

"Really?" she asked doubtful.

"It's great, Clark. Thank you" I said earnestly.

"Good" she replied. "I was worried you wouldn't get anything to eat anything till God knows what time" she said.

"Oh, don't worry, my family is quite punctual. If they say dinner will be served at four, it will be" I assured her, then wished I could take it back.

I wasn't being exactly charming like I wanted to.

I was nervous and being ridiculous, that was the truth.

"Don't you have to get ready?" I asked, looking at her lively green skirt, and blue polka dot blouse.

"Yes, I probably should do that" she said with smile.

"Don't forget, we have to be at the church at one" I called out to her, as I worriedly noted the time.

"Don't worry, Will. I may not be as punctual as your family but I can manage" she said with a playful roll of her eyes that sent a flip in my stomach, and I simply smiled at her as she closed the door.

God, how I loved her…

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The ceremony had been beautiful, if all the tearful women were any indication.

Or perhaps some of those tears were the result of some allergies to the extreme number of flowers that were draped, hung ,and sitting in vases on every available surface of the church.

But no less could be expected of my cousin Clara.

The large majority of the wedding so far had gone without a hiccup, that is with exception of the name.

Alicia's name to be more precise, next to mine on the table places that were for Lou and me.

I cringed as we neared the table and I saw that the chair next to mine bore the name of my ex-girlfriend in beautiful Italic.

I looked to Lou out of the corner of my eye, but was glad to see a smile spread on her lips, followed by muffled giggle.

"I'm sorry about this" I said, getting infected with her contagious smile.

"It's fine" she assured me, as I saw tears of laughter rise to her bottom eyelids as she pulled out the chair occupying the space where I would park my wheelchair.

We had giggled like two idiots for the next two minutes, before other people began to sit at our table, and we had to behave ourselves, or cause them to stare at us more judgingly than they already were.

But now dinner was over, and the dancing had started.

And it was time to put my plan into practice.

I turned to her and motioned with my head towards the dancing couples with a half-smile.

"What?" she asked, cheeks red from, I suspected, partly smiling and partly the wine she'd had.

"Let me give you a whirl" I said smiling more widely now.

"Are you serious?" she asked me, but I could tell she was pleased by the invitation, by the way her smile was accompanied by her eyes hiding beneath her eyelashes.

"Yes. This party is getting boring anyways, let's give these tossers something to talk about" I said motioning towards my lap with my eyes.

She gave me an apprehensive look, but eventually acceded, and in seconds I was wheeling us to the floor as she giggled uncontrollably and hid her face against my chest.

I got a whiff of her hair, and it sent goosebumps through me at the closeness, and that scent that was so her, the very scent I remembered from the night we kissed, when her hair was loose, as she seldom wore it, and it fell near my face in a cascade of soft tresses as our lips danced together.

And tonight, as the scent triggered my memory of our passionate kiss, it was all I could do not to let my body betray what was going to through my head to Louisa, sitting there on my lap as I slowly moved us around the dance floor.

"Are they all appalled?" she asked me, her breath warming my neck as she came up slowly to look around us, then rested her face against me once again.

"Yes" I said pleased, as I watched some of what I assumed were Eddie's guests look at us scandalized at our show, and I smiled.

For once, I really couldn't care less. I was holding her close, feeling her body against mine, as I prepared myself to risk it all.

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 **A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger! (ducks)**

 **I really wanted to do the next bit from Lou's POV, and so you guys can expect that to come in Chapter 35, hopefully next week.**

 **Thank you for reading! It's having you guys that inspires me to write even through the hard times. Love you all!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Thank you everyone for your well wishes for my husband (: they were greatly appreciated. And thank you to all who continually read this story faithfully, week after week. You guys are wonderful for sticking around and waiting for each update! Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 35**

He wasn't making it easy for me.

I kept repeating to myself that the right thing for me was to get away, but my heart kept fighting it. And Will was making a good argument too, even if he didn't know it.

This weekend had turned surprisingly enjoyable, even if I hadn't expected it. He had stayed by my side almost at all times, attending to my comfort as if he was the one attending _me_ , and not the other way around.

And dancing with him… that scent of his that was so uniquely Will, that my mind automatically connected with all of our good memories together, to every occasion in which I stood close enough to him to catch it, and sent a thrill through me as it overpowered my senses, and enveloped me in feelings of comfort, warmth, safety, and excitement. It sent contentment through me, as if I had heard something funny that made me want to laugh, except it was due to his intoxicating nearness, to knowing I was the woman he was dancing with, albeit there were others that, even in his condition, were eyeing him from afar as they whispered into their friend's ears.

And I couldn't blame them. Will looked exquisitely handsome tonight. There was a confidence in him that was as attractive as all of his other qualities, though they didn't fall far behind, but rather were adorned by his wit, mischievousness, and smiles.

Sometimes I wondered if I wasn't completely smitten with his looks, and couldn't recognize it, for who could help it when he was so unabashedly stunning, almost unfairly so, in that way that you can imagine the pride of being on the arm of such a man, while trying to keep up the confidence to believe you were worthy of being there, trying not to wonder if others were comparing you and asking what such a handsome man was doing with such an insignificant human being.

But this night, in this moment, as we danced, he was doing that which only he understood, that convinced you that the others' stares were irrelevant, and his eyes and attention were only for you.

How was he so good at that?

So I took this moment to relish in the joy of feeling his, and holding him close like I had ached to since that kiss that kept becoming less and less clear in my memories no matter how hard I tried to recollect every emotion. It all served to convince me more that I needed to kiss him again and again, until I learned each curve of his mouth, each movement his tongue was capable of, the very taste of him, and how it felt to hold his head in my hands, the way his hair felt between my fingers…

As I heard the notes of the song draw to the close I knew by heart, a sense of longing grew in me, and I wished I had another minute to be in his arms.

I reluctantly climbed off his lap, and tried not to show how sorry I was to do so when he spoke.

"Follow me, I want to show you something" he said with a small smile, and began to make his way out of the large hall in which the wedding was taking place.

His aunt's home was absolutely jaw-dropping.

I figured it might have been an inherited one since they seemed to be of even higher position than Will's immediate family.

It was the kind of mansion you sometimes saw along the countryside- abandoned and ghostly- except this one had been preserved to its original glory, along with extensive gardens, and looming old trees that seemed centuries old.

I followed Will slowly as he made his way through the garden as best as he could on his chair, as we delved deeper and deeper into the darker areas of the property.

We were now fully in the back of the mansion, and I finally saw what the façade hadn't betrayed.

The back part of the large home had indeed fallen into disrepair, some areas had crumbled into piles of stones that reflected against the minimal light of the stars. Some trees had grown in between those areas, now becoming more similar to the other structures I was more familiar with.

But it was no less beautiful for it.

There was a timelessness to it, a beauty in the remnants of the past, a peace at the realization of the forgotten lives that took place in those fallen rooms.

I hadn't realized that I had fallen behind until I heard Will call after me from several meters ahead.

I lifted the skirts of my 'New York dress', as I liked to call it, finally being put to use, and tried taking longer steps to catch up as I tried to discern where he was taking me.

"You aren't meeting up with some thugs to sell me for my organs, are you?" I asked playfully as I got nearer to him.

"I wouldn't admit it if I was, now would I? I can't exactly keep you from escaping from my chair" he said, playing right along without missing a beat.

"I should warn you, if it comes down to it I will have no pity on you just because you are handicapped momentarily" I said jokingly.

"I would not expect anything else" he said with a half-smile as he looked up at me, and in moments, I was smiling back at him- all my defenses down completely.

I decided I would enjoy this moment with him, whatever it was he wanted to show me, I would appreciate it for what it was, putting away all awkwardness and all the past, at least for this one time.

I would imagine this was the two of us from a few weeks past, exploring his castle in Pembroke, like two friends who happened to work together, no more, no less.

I watched the weeping willows part and make way for something bright, though I couldn't tell what it was, as the nocturnal light from the stars was shielded by some dark clouds that had been threatening with rain all day long.

As we got nearer, I began to discern some movements, and in moments, I was able to make out the softly moving waters of a small pond.

A smile began to form in my lips, as I watched the water come nearer, surrounded by the weeping willows, barely moving with some breeze, their arms swaying softly around us, as my dress dragged behind me.

Will stopped a few meters, before the surface got too steep for the chair, but I kept walking till I met the water, and bent down to let my fingers dip in the cool, dark liquid.

It was colder than I expected, but not unpleasantly so. I let the drops linger on my fingertips as I took them out, and watched them fall into the water, forming soft ripples.

I followed the small waves, till I watched them hit against the material of my dress, that I had careless let immerse into the water.

I looked up and took the scenery around us, mostly shielded by the darkness of the night, but so still and peaceful, that I felt I could let myself be surrounded by it for hours, without feeling even the slightest bit of fear.

I took a deep breath of the night breeze and closed my eyes, trying to memorize the feelings, as the scent of wilderness took over the rest of my senses, and I enjoyed its refreshing sensation.

I felt a small wisp of hair fall out of my bun, but it didn't bother me, so I let it rest against my cheek.

I opened my eyes again, and saw some sparse wildflowers along the edge of the water and picked one between my fingers. The surface of the stem struggled against me as I pulled, some of the leaves falling off as I result, but finally it gave way, and I held it in my fingers as I examined the uneven petals of the nonsingular flower, looking very much like the rest, its only distinction being that it was in my palm, as opposed to the others which still were very much connected to the earth.

Then I felt an unlikely sorrow at having picked it, even as my mind knew that unlike humans, it could feel nothing.

Immediately I felt like I needed to justify my actions with a good reason for having done it, and so I tucked it in the small braid that was following the side of my hairline all the way down to my bun.

"What do you think?" I heard Will's voice from behind me. I had nearly forgotten he was there.

"It's beautiful" I admitted, wonder-struck.

"I thought you would like it" he said with a soft smile.

I got up on my feet again, and walked back to where he was.

"Help me sit on the grass" he asked, motioning to the ground beside his chair.

I quickly went to his aid, supporting him as he rested his body on the soft verdure.

I took a seat next to him, noting the slight wetness of the surface, already lightly moistened by a faint sheet of dew.

I rested back against it, both of us laying back on it, not caring one bit if our clothes were being stained by it.

I looked up at the arms of the willows as they waved slightly above us, as if they were trying to reach for the ground helplessly but relentless.

"I loved coming here as a child whenever we visited my aunt, especially as I got older and began playing less with my cousins, but not old enough to be interested in the adult's conversation" he said, softly as we both looked above us.

"I can see why" I said breathlessly, without words to describe the feeling of being here.

"Though there is one occasion I would like to forget that took place here" he added, after a few seconds.

"Which is it?" I asked interested, turning my head to him.

He turned his head to look at me.

"My first kiss" he said, and went back to looking up.

"Oh" I answered, somewhat embarrassed by the confession, unable to not to think of another first kiss he might be wanting to forget.

"My cousins and I had been watching TV that morning. My parents had sent me to spend a few weeks here that summer. I must have been ten or eleven" he offered, when I said nothing else. I remained quiet, waiting for him to go on. "One of their neighbors, a friend of my cousins, had come by again, to my own displeasure. She was awfully unpleasant, loved to boss us around, and for some reason we all obeyed her. Perhaps because she was older than us, I don't know. Anyways, I wasn't in the mood for her that day, and the moment I saw her come in the room, I couldn't help but roll my eyes, and walk out, hoping she hadn't noticed me making a run for it" he added smiling lightly. "I thought I had made my escape once I had made it here to the lake, until I heard her screeching voice. I swear, I must have jumped from the scare. She demanded to know why I had left when she had arrived. I had been caught red-handed. And as much as I wanted to tell her I despised her, I had been taught to be a gentleman and not say such things, so I must have shrugged my shoulders, or something. I didn't speak. Then I remember her coming towards me faster than a freight train. I had barely registered her coming closer when she crashed my head and body against a tree and planted a sloppy kiss on me" he said, making a face of disgust.

"Agh…" I said laughing, imagining what that must have been like for child-Will.

"You're right about that. I was so shocked, I didn't move till she pulled back" he said laughing. "Then I proceeded to wipe my mouth, and the next thing I knew, she was running off crying, and yelling she hated me. She never came by again, though" he added, as I laughed, at the mental image of an older girl being so hurt by the rejection of an eleven-year-old that she would run off in dispair.

"How old was she, anyways?" I asked, wiping a tear from the side of my eye.

"I don't know, she was taller than, me that's all I remember" I responded, laughing right along.

"And you've been breaking hearts ever since" I finished playfully, without realizing how those words might be taken by him.

"So I'm told" he answered, though some of the laughter was gone.

I gulped, at the sudden awkwardness, and wished I hadn't made us uncomfortable. We had been having such a good time.

There were a few moments of silence, as I searched my mind for anything to say that could take up the quietness.

"It's not the only kiss I regret, Clark" he said, and I didn't have to look at him to know his face was back to seriousness.

"It's alright, Will" I said, trying not to let the hurt of those words show in my tone.

"It's not, Clark. And please, I have been wanting to say this, and not known how to say it, so please, just let me get it out" he expressed.

"Of course, Will" I said, forcing the words out. "I'll hear anything you have to say" I added, unable to let some feeling cloak my words.

"I regret our kiss, but not for the reasons you think" he said and paused. I breathed deep, realizing the moment was here. We were about to talk about it, we were acknowledging it, and whatever happened, we would have to move past it. "And before I say the rest, I need to know you are going to trust me, take my words as literal and true as if it were your best friend saying it" he said turning to look at me.

"It is my best friend saying it" I whispered, blinking quickly to try and hold back the tears.

Then I felt his hand grasp mine in his, and something rose to my throat. But I was decided not to stop him, I was going to hear him out down to the last word, whatever it was.

I felt him sit up on the grass, still holding on to my hand.

"I'm glad to hear it" he said, his face turned away from me, as he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

My heart jumped in my chest, and I became breathless for a few seconds, glad that my face was out of his sight.

I turned back to see his back and head, as he sat looking into the lake, apparently struggling with what he had to say.

"I don't know if what I want to tell you will fix anything or break it more, but I hope you can hear it, and remain a part of my life, no matter what" he said, turning slightly, his profile against the light reflecting off the pond, his right eye looking at me from its corner. I watched his eyebrows furrow and his eyes blink several times quickly. "I regret the kiss because it was careless, thoughtless, of my part. It wasn't how I wanted to do things" he said and paused, turning back towards the water. My heart jumped slightly- tired and beat- too hurt to get its hopes up too much at the possible implication. "The truth is… I've been wanting to do that for weeks… months? I don't know. I can't pinpoint the moment that my admiration for you went from professional to one of… a romantic nature" he said and paused to clear his throat. "I was in the middle before I knew I had begun. I certainly couldn't ignore it any longer after our dance at the gala in Miami. I remember the way holding you in my arms felt… so perfect, and thinking how I wanted to be able to repeat it whenever… back then I thought it was merely physical. That I had become attracted to your beauty that I had ignored before, and no more than that. But looking back I realize I was only fooling myself. I already admired your personality, your playfulness, your determination, your kindness… And then you were there for me when my father was in the hospital… I remember our trip to the castle when you told me about your past, and I became so angry that I wanted to wring their necks… how dare they hurt someone so precious, so wonderful…" I watched him look up and shake his head. That pause was all I needed. My breath finally left my body trembling, and my heart had grown too big to fit inside my chest. I blinked again and again. I must be sleeping, dreaming, but all that did was spill the joyful tears in my eyes, as I began to sit up. "I remember being determined to leave Alicia as soon as I got back. I needed to be free so I could… I don't know what I wanted to do, you were still my assistant. I wasn't thinking that far ahead, I think. Then everything fell apart" he added the last sentence angrily. "I lost everything. How was I supposed to offer you _anything_ when I was lower than the ground, I still am…" he said, his voice shaking with frustration. "The plan was to wait till I was someone again, till I could do more than sit on my arse all day, and ask for things… Till I could show I loved you for you, and above anyone or anything, that even when I could pursue others, _you_ were still my one and only choice, the only possible woman whom I could be happy with…" he said, and nervous laughter escaped. "I probably sound like I took this right out of some book or chick flick… I don't care, Clark. It's the truth…" he said, letting a long breath out, as if there was more to come, but he didn't know how to say it.

I had slowly brought myself to a sitting position beside him, my heart beating rapidly on happiness, or elation, or both. All I knew was that I felt like I could fly, like I could stand up right now and float away by pure magic. But why would I, when all I wanted was sitting right across from me, looking into my eyes searching for an answer.

I tried to reply, to say something, anything… to let him know I had been falling for him, too. That I loved him beyond anything or anyone I had ever loved.

But all those words seemed insufficient, or less in comparison with the beautiful and purely enchanting dream that had been coming from his lips for the last few minutes.

His eyes were staring into my mine, asking for something, anything…

Then they fell to the side of my face, where the loose wisp of hair had fallen. I watched his hand flicker to touch, but retract.

I could think of nothing else to do.

I leaned forward, letting our foreheads touch. I brought my hands, somewhat moist from the dew on the grass, and let them rest beside his face, holding it in place.

I closed my eyes, and felt his warm breath mix with mine.

"Will…" I said, unable to say anything but his name, but it came out sounding more like plead than the beginning of a sentence.

"Clark, please, just don't leave… I promise I can… I don't know what I need to do, but now it's all out in the open, perhaps…" he said, breaking the contact of our foreheads, and looking deep into my eyes.

I saw there the strength, the relentlessness, the tenacity of the Will I met on the day of our interview, the one who knew he could make it happen, one way or another, he would be successful, the one who reached for the unreachable even when others thought it couldn't be done, he was convinced he could be break the mold and achieve it. But I also saw new things. Perhaps, they weren't new, I didn't know for sure. But they were ones I had only begun to see with time, glimpses of them here and there, sneak peaks of their existence, shielded by who knows what. I saw tenderness, devotion, strength of emotion, love?

Once again, I was at loss for words, and I could tell it was making him restless, and nervous.

"Will, I…" I began and found no words to continue. In my heart, I knew all the things I wanted to say to him, but perhaps the words to explain them were insufficient, lacking.

I saw the curves of his hair, along the side of his head, reflecting the nightlight, and I reached out for them.

I was kneeling by his sitting form now, his legs outstretched towards the pond.

I leaned forward to reach his head, and let my fingers dip into his hair, feeling deliciously soft between my fingertips.

I let my hand fall to his back and I brought him closer to me, letting his head rest on my shoulder, and resting mine against his.

I felt the side of his face against the side of mine, and I marveled at how even such a touch could feel so special and intimate, so delectable.

My other hand came up against his free cheek, and cupped it.

I kissed his cheek, feeling the pores from which his facial hair had barely began to peak. I kissed them again, now closer to his mouth, and closer again.

"Will" I said again, finding what to say finally, as our mouths lingered mere centimeters from each other's.

But he didn't care to hear it, or he had no patience for words anymore. My time was over.

I knew it when his mouth crashed into mine, suctioning my lips into his with a harsh intake of breath from both of us.

His hand came up behind my head, capturing my neck in place, pushing my lips even closer to him, as if that were even possible.

I responded with the passion that had been buried beneath the surface, pushed down for what seemed an eternity, and pushed back, till I had pushed him to the ground.

He didn't complain one bit.

I let my hands travel down to his chest, giving them the freedom they had craved, and all begone straight to hell.

They struggled against his buttons, but they had opened his shirt within seconds, as they hungrily searched beneath the cloth in search for the flesh of his chest.

I felt caution flash into my mind, pushing past the walls of the euphoria rushing through my veins. But it was a faint cry that soon was pushed aside by Will's hands grasping my torso and traveling all over it in search of any opening.

Were we doing this?

I didn't have to answer the question as seconds later, rapid droplets of water began assaulting us.

I remembered then that Will couldn't get back without his wheelchair and soon the mud would make it near impossible to travel all the way back to the house.

"We'd better get back" I said breathlessly, as I felt the rain drip from my head, down my face, crashing into Will's, whose eyes were battling to remain open without letting water fall in them.

"We have to, don't we?" he asked softly, his eyes traveling all over my face softly, as he tried to tuck some loose hair behind my ear unsuccessfully.

"We're almost already soaked, Will" I said laughing.

He laughed in return, a deep throaty laugh that emanated from within.

"I don't care" he said softly afterwards, as he lifted his head off the ground to kiss me again.

His lips captured mine, more softly this time, and I struggled between my want to kiss him back and the intruding smile that wouldn't go away.

"I do, if we get pneumonia, guess who's going to be taking care of who?" I said, lifting my eyebrows and smiling lovingly at him.

The cold rain had already seeped through my dress, and I didn't want to think about the state of Will's tuxedo that was against the earth.

"That's not fair… you know I'd take care of you if I could…" he said answering my jest, but with tones of seriousness.

"I guess we shall see" I said with a smile, as my insides flipped incessantly with ecstasy.

"We will" he answered defiantly but sweetly, as he made to sit up.

Once I was off his body and helping him up, the circumstances of our surroundings sunk in. The rain felt colder without his lips on mine, and my clothes weighed me down more without his hands on me.

We were quite far from the house, and already wet to the bone. The odds that we could rejoin the party had slimmed down to none. Which aligned just fine with my desire to do so.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Had that really happened?

I couldn't believe the turn the night had taken.

My cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, and the fact that I was in the shower alone didn't take away from the embarrassment that I was smiling and giggling nonstop.

I closed my eyes and tried to recall every word, memorize each and every one of them, so I could revisit the moment again and again.

It was all already blurring into little flashes of words, touches, feelings. But I held on to those with all my strength, replaying them over and over, willing them to stay memorized in my head.

Except this time, unlike our first kiss, I no longer did it because I didn't think there'd be another occasion. I wanted to remember because it had been the happiest I had ever been, the most elated my emotions had ever gotten. I didn't know if it only would go downhill from here. I certainly didn't think I could ever be this happy again. It wasn't possible. My heart would burst!

We had reluctantly said 'goodnight' at my door, knowing that if we stayed in our wet clothes any longer we would be risking becoming ill.

But the way I was feeling, I doubted I could go to sleep anytime soon. No matter how many deep breaths I took, my heart wouldn't slow down one bit, and honestly, I didn't think I wanted it to.

Somewhere in the back of my head, I could swear, I knew a good reason not to go to his room. But I couldn't find it, and I can't say I tried too hard to do so.

And he would need my help to get into bed. He had been exerting himself physically these last couple of days. We needed to be cautious if we didn't want him to relapse.

Suddenly the idea of him seeing me in my pajamas, as he did every night, made me hesitate and wonder if it was enough.

Would he take one look at me covered in unicorns from neck down, and change his mind?

How could he? After what he had said to me? I knew I couldn't care one bit what he looked like. No, I would trust him to be sincere and loving as he had asked me to. And to love me as I loved him, no matter what my night clothes looked like.

I took one look at my wet hair, and left it loose behind me. I had no patience to blow dry it. It would just have to airdry.

I put my feet in my slippers and began tiptoeing down the hall to his room, as if what I was about to do needed to be hidden. But that made no sense. I was just getting him to bed.

I felt the butterflies in my stomach take flight again as I knocked on his door.

"Will? It's me" I said after a few seconds.

After a few more seconds, I heard the lock click, and he opened, wearing a white tee, and some sweats.

"Come in" he said, seemingly suppressing his smile like I was.

"Ready for bed?" I asked.

"Oh, is that what you're here for?" he asked as he wheeled himself away from me and deeper into the room. "Disappointing…" he added.

"Really?" I asked, my mouth having dropped open, and not really knowing how to respond to his boldness, if indeed he was implying what I thought. "What else did you think?" I asked, pretending to be offended.

"I thought we could talk" he said lightly as he turned the chair around by the sofa. "It's been a long day" he added as I slowly walked up to him.

"Want to sit here?" I asked as I approached the sofa.

"Please" he asked, as always ashamed to need the help.

He had been getting stronger with his exercises, and he had made a lot of progress in his therapies, but as always, Will was not satisfied. He was always reaching for higher, pushing himself harder. He tried to support himself as best as he could as I transferred him to the sofa.

"Come here" he said with open arms as soon as he was settled in.

The words sent thrills through me. It seemed I was nowhere near being used to the fact that the man I loved did love me in return.

Feeling his shirt beneath my face as I rested on his chest was pure bliss; the pressure of his lips on my head? Sublimity.

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 **A/N: Didn't I say better days were ahead? (;**

 **Any Pride & Prejudice fans out there recognize a certain phrase I borrowed from our dear Austen? Leave it in your review if you caught it! :D**

 **Please let me know how you liked the chapter. Thank you!**

 **More to come on chapter 36!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hi, everyone!**

 **For anyone left wondering about the Pride and Prejudice phrase, it was "I was in the middle before I knew I had begun", and kudos to the ones who caught it! (:**

 **Chapter 36**

I pressed a kiss to her wet head, trying to make it sink in that she was finally mine.

I had hardly believed myself as I poured all of my heart out to her earlier in the night, but once it was all out, I had felt a great weight lift off my shoulders. And a sense of things falling into place. Whatever happened from that moment on, Clark knew what I felt, what I wanted, and it was all laid out and in the open.

And it seemed I had been correct in my assumptions that she may have been holding back the same feelings.

While she hadn't said as much, her reaction had spoken for itself.

I can't say I was as confident in the moment of the declaration, though. When she didn't say anything right away, my insecurities crept up and made me believe she didn't know how to let me down.

After all, I had no guarantee that she would reciprocate, just my own theories about her feelings.

But she had kissed me back with a passion only equal to mine, until we were interrupted by the rain.

And I knew you could have passion without strength of feeling. I knew the passion didn't come right along with love, but it could be a _sign_ of love.

And I don't think, no, I know Lou wouldn't kiss me that way after all I said, if she didn't feel at least moderately the same.

"Look at me" I asked her, as she lay on my chest peacefully.

"No" she replied quietly.

"Clark?" I asked, surprised at her response.

"I can't" she said next, which only peaked my interest further.

"Tough. I need to see that face of yours, Clark" I joked.

I felt her shift beneath me, as a small chuckle left her mouth, then she began to sit up.

We were sitting on the sofa of my hotel room, after she had come to help me into bed.

Except, I felt like sleep could not come any time soon.

There were so many things to be said, to be asked.

As her eyelashes lifted and looked at me, I saw the redness of her face accompany a hiding smile.

For a moment, I forgot all that was happening, and got lost in her eyes. Her eyes that to my mind held nothing spectacular, nothing out of the ordinary. But try telling that to my heart, which was seeing her eyes like they were the first pair of green eyes I had ever seen, and the most beautiful, too.

"I have a question" she stated as she tucked some hair behind her ear.

I hadn't been expecting that. After all, what hadn't I said already? But decided to oblige her.

"Very well" I said kindly.

"Actually, I have a _lot_ of questions" she said with an embarrassed laugh.

"Me too, so I hope you weren't planning to rise early tomorrow" I said lightly.

She just shook her head as she smiled, then looked down.

For some reason, she seemed to have difficulty maintaining my gaze for a more than a second or two.

"In the hospital, I don't know if you remember saying this… but the first time I shaved you, you were not confident at all in my capabilities to not cut you, or irritate your skin" she began and I laughed, remembering that day well.

"Yes, I remember, though you proved me wrong, thankfully" I said smiling at her.

"Well, I asked you if there was a nurse you were trying to impress, remember?" she asked shyly.

"Yes, I remember" I replied, already getting a good guess as to what she was going to ask.

"Well, you said, 'not a nurse'. Were you…?" she began to ask.

"Talking about you? 100 percent" I said, glad to be able to cause the redness in her cheeks to intensify.

"Oh, good" she said, her smile going wide with joy and her eyes almost disappearing beneath her eyelids.

Though I hadn't gotten any of my own questions answered yet, seeing her joy at knowing I had been referring to her brought me a little more reassurance.

"My turn" I said getting a little more serious. "So, does this turn of events mean you won't be handing in your notice?" I asked, suddenly becoming worried.

She looked down, and then met my eyes again.

"Wouldn't it be too weird, with me working for you, and…?" she asked, letting the unsaid words hang between us.

"Not to me… to be able to have you near me, see you every day…" I said, a smile taking over my features. "And it would only be temporary. I'll be better soon, then you can work at whatever you want, Clark. We can even open up our own company together, as partners, like you suggested" I said, remembering when she first brought up the idea. But it also dawned on me that I was sounding like I was planning the rest of my life around her, as if the possibility that we would break up one day, that things simply didn't work out, was non-existent.

And in truth, in my head, it _was_ that way. I knew it wasn't rational. I knew people hardly ever stayed together. All of my past failed relationships were living proof of that.

I couldn't pinpoint what was different about this time, though. But I just couldn't imagine _not_ spending forever with Lou.

Who could ever come along that was better? Who could make me smile more, challenge me, complete me? I didn't need to keep looking to know she was _it_. I had found my most wonderfully perfect match. Even if it was premature to think it, I simply couldn't help it.

I only wished it didn't scare Lou away. She could very well have a more realistic view on this barely starting relationship.

"We'd be skipping so much… living together from the get-go?" she asked, still not convinced.

And I knew she had a point. But I simply had no interest in following some dating guidelines, not with her. Who cared what the norm was? If living together worked for us, then who cared about the rest? Why couldn't a different start be as wonderful?

I let silence drag on a few seconds longer as I contemplated how to calm her fears.

"If you quit though… you'd have to be fine with another girl moving in" I said, one eyebrow raised, hoping this would close the conversation.

"Girl? You're mad, right?" she said laughing.

"You can pick her if you like" I said teasing.

"Really? No, thank you. We know how well that worked out for your last girlfriend" she said laughing.

"You're right" I said, as I traced her jaw bone from her ear to her chin slowly, my eyes falling to her lips which were forming her beautiful smile, then back to those shiny eyes, glistening beautifully like only her eyes could. "I think we have no choice to let you finish out your contract, Clark" I added, acting as if her argument was undefeatable.

She smiled at me as she realized what I was doing.

"You… you are something else, Will Traynor" she said with a joyful smile.

I didn't know how to reply to that. All I knew was a feeling was growing inside me, and I had to kiss her lips again.

As I approached her, I saw her eyes close, and her lips come up to meet me.

I felt a tingling as her mouth touched mine, as if electricity were passing between us, a magnetism sending waves of attraction that only intensified more with each second.

I had imagined what kissing her would be like so many times. And I had always envisioned that it'd be like nothing I'd ever felt before. What could it be like to kiss someone you love so much, that there is no doubt in your mind they are the only one who could help achieve complete and total happiness?

It's safe to say my imagination, as wild as it got, could do no justice to the actual feeling of having this woman in my arms, kissing her and having her kiss me back, making me smile as I tried to focus on the kiss, but unable to keep myself from grinning from happiness, as I captured her lips in mine again and again.

I brought my hand to her waist, pulling her closer to me, as I heard her intake of breath at the touch. She obediently brought herself as close to me as I was asking, as I softly put pressure behind her lower back.

As her body shifted closer, two of my fingers delighted in the feeling of her skin beneath her night shirt, and I grasped it, making sure that I wasn't letting go of the opening in her clothes.

"Will" she said barely above a whisper, as she broke the kiss that I was about to deepen.

I tried to catch her mouth again, but she evaded me, making me realize she had said my name because she actually wanted to say something.

"Yes, darling" I said, the words leaving my mouth without my having thought them. At the moment, I was feeling like a drunk person, except not on alcohol. I was drunk on her- her closeness, her scent, the feelings of her lips on mine-, and I couldn't keep away any longer.

I watched her smile in delight at my words, and I smiled too, at knowing my endearment had gotten such a reaction, but knowing it wouldn't be the last time I referred to her as the dearest thing I had.

"I nearly forgot what I was going to say" she said with a giggle, looking as high on her emotions as I was.

"That's alright" I assured her, as our foreheads met, and I closed my eyes, just to take a moment to feel her close to me.

"I love you, Will" she uttered. And I wouldn't have admitted it to another soul, but my heart skipped a beat at that moment.

I opened my eyes to see hers, looking deep into mine, registering every expression.

"Good" I replied, as a smile forced itself onto my features.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

… _5 months later_

My eyes opened lazily as my consciousness awakens.

The bright morning light hits my eyes, making me flinch, as they struggled to adjust.

As my vision became more accustomed to the brightness of the morning, I began to register the warm and soft yellow sunshine, as it came through our white curtains in streaks. I observed the miniscule dust particles, floating in and out of the light in all directions, peacefully, and gracefully.

I became enraptured in their swirling, as I began to become more and more aware of the breathing form beside me, lying next to me under the blankets, her leg brushing up against mine, the miniscule leg hairs on the turn of her knee that often evaded her razor, so softly tingling against the side of my thigh.

I turned to her now, watching her sleeping face on the pillow, her cheek squished against it, making her mouth onto an odd shape that brought a smile to my features.

Her hair was twisted into incoherent turns and twines as made me grateful not to have long hair. And her naked shoulders were peeking out from under the sheets, looking as soft and sleek as the day I first saw her in the Chanel dress I bought her, ascending and descending gently with every sleepy breath.

It reminded me of the first day I woke up next to her on the same bed, when we had fallen asleep together, the night of Clara's wedding after hours and hours of talking, about everything important and nonimportant, about all the weeks of wondering, of misinterpretations and burning questions, of telling phrases that lent themselves to the confidence of interpreter, before our mental, physical and emotional tiredness overtook us, and at some point or other she transferred me to the bed, and stayed there with me on it.

And even after five months, the feeling was the same, if not better- intensified by our growing attachment to each other. Waking up next to her instantly made me feel the luckiest man alive, and like I could take on the day, whatever came, because I had her by my side.

I didn't want to wake her, but I couldn't help myself.

I reached out to some stray hairs which were obstructing my view of her, and carefully brushed them back and away from her beautiful face. They were resilient though, and kept falling back into place, until I tucked them behind her ear.

That's when her eyelashes began fluttering, and her eyes tried to discover what was disturbing their sleep.

"Shhh… I'm sorry, go back to sleep" I whispered to her, regretting that I had bothered her.

I watched her lips form into a sleepy smile as she tried to shift her body from face down to sideways, while trying to awaken.

"Good morning" she uttered, with her eyes still closed.

"Good morning, my love" I said back to her smiling at how adorable she looked when she was waking.

I heard her take in a deep breath, after which she opened her eyes more fully this time, and looked into mine.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked tenderly, knowing she was still adjusting her senses to being awake.

"Good" she said, lazily.

"I'm sorry I woke you" I offered.

"It's alright, it's good to hear your voice" she said with a smile.

I lifted myself onto my elbows and drew close, till my lips bestowed a small peck on hers.

I heard a miniscule giggle emanate from her mouth as I drew back, and even though I didn't know what she was laughing about, her laughter was as always too infectious for me to resist smiling back.

"What?" I asked her, wondering what she would say.

"Your breath smells" she said, giggling some more.

"How rude of you!" I said, feigning offense. "And here I was trying to wake you with a loving gesture" I added, amused by her.

"And wake me up you did!" she expressed quite passionately, but still smiling.

I had no reply, except to look at her, and think of how lucky I was to wake up next to a woman who could produce the most wholesome happiness I had ever felt in me, within the first five minutes of her being awake.

I watched her wiggle out of bed, laughing at herself, and me possibly, when I reached out quickly and smacked her arse, which she tried to escape, but was not quick enough to avoid.

"Ey!" she said, jumping at the action and looking back to me, looking like glory itself exemplified in the human form. "That is domestic violence, sir!" she said teasingly at me, as I laid across the bed, watching her walk away.

"You deserved it!" I argued back.

"What for?" she asked, already from the bathroom, but from the sound of her tone of voice, I could tell she was smiling.

"For saying that about my breath, Miss Clark. I could have you fired" I responded jokingly, in increasing suspense.

Our banters were probably one of my favorite parts of our relationship. Never knowing what clever, funny thing she was going to say next, wondering how she would challenge my wit next, and gracefully accepting defeat when she was just too much to keep up with. But it was also one of the things I loved about her the most.

How she continued to support me each day, challenge me, love me… I didn't know. What I did to deserve her? It still eluded me.

"Well, it's a good thing today is my last day, then. So, fire me if you like" she said daringly as she popped her head out of the bathroom to give me a defiantly sexy look, raising her eyebrows at me and motioning towards her body with the movements of her eyes, knowing I was helplessly in love with her, and the effect that she had on me.

"You know, I don't take that kind of lip from my employees" I cautioned her, rising from bed and making my way to where she was. "Even on their last day!" I exclaimed getting closer.

I heard her laugh from inside the bathroom, as I imagined her brushing her mess of her bedhead, then gasp.

"I know you're not walking without your crutches!" she threatened as she heard me get closer.

"Of course, I am! How else am I supposed to get some respect around here?" I demanded in an exaggeratedly rough voice as I came through the door, and came up behind where she was standing in front of the mirror.

I heard her squeal as I grasped her waist between my hands and lifted and turned her around, sitting her on the bathroom granite surface next to the sink.

"Will!" she exclaimed breathlessly. "The doctor hasn't given you the final word that you can walk around on your own, much less pick up a one-hundred-and-something pound body!" she reproached me playfully, even as she placed her hands around my neck, as I now stood eye to eye with her.

"We're still leaving the -something- bit in a question mark, aren't we?" I asked feigning some uneasiness with the possible digit.

"Yes, we are" she said defiantly. "And if that makes you uncomfortable, you'll just have to live with it" she said playfully.

"It's a cross I'll have to bear" I said dramatically.

"Yes, it is" she said laughing, her eyes squinting between her smiling cheeks and eyelids.

"I love you, Louisa Clark" I uttered after a short moment.

"I love you, Will Traynor" she said, shifting her head sideways, smiling adorably at me, before placing a kiss on my cheek.

"I tell you 'I love you', and all I get is a peck on the cheek, really?" I asked, teasing her.

"No matter how little your concern about your breath is, I will not subject you to mine" she said smiling as she twisted her torso to grab her toothbrush and toothpaste.

I rolled my eyes at her jokingly before grabbing my own, as she climbed down, and stood beside me, as she meticulously brushed her teeth.

"You'd better give me an earth-shattering kiss once my breath is fresh" I said before putting my own toothbrush in my mouth, raising an eyebrow at her.

"That and more, my dear" she said smiling through her foamy mouth, and raising her own eyebrows suggestively.

Suffice it to say, I brushed my teeth as quickly but efficiently as I ever had.

.

.

.

.

 **Do forgive me that this chapter is a bit shorter, and that it took a while to be ready.**

 **I feel I struggle the most at writing when I approach the end of stories, and I am sad to say, we are approaching the end of this one.**

 **Now, we still do have a few chapters more to go.**

 **We may even make it to Chapter 40, but we will see (:**

 **Thank you all for reading and accompanying me through this journey. I hope you all will stick around till the very end! (:**

 **With all my love…**

 **-your author-**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"You're telling them today, aren't you?" I heard Treena ask desperately from the other end of the line.

I sighed.

"I have to" I responded as I waited for the light to turn green. Hopefully I would get across it this time. Traffic was awful today. "After today, if the doctor says so, Will won't officially need somebody to care for him full-time" I added.

"I think Mom and Dad know he hasn't needed somebody for a few weeks now. He's been given permission to walk, and the last we saw him, he didn't seem to need assistance of any kind" she reminded me. "I've got a feeling they suspect it already, Lou."

"Have they said something?" I asked, alarmed.

"Not to me. But they aren't stupid, you know. And you and Will aren't exactly the best at hiding it" she replied. I couldn't tell if that annoyed her or pleased her. "Just tell them already. You're a grown woman, Lou. If you want to shag your boss senseless, you can" she added. I could definitely hear the irritation in her voice now. But I couldn't pinpoint what exactly caused it.

"It's not that, Treena. That's the point" I tried to clarify, but only heard silence on the other end. "I'll see you later at home" I said after a few more seconds, and clicked.

Last month, I had told my parents that Will was only allowed to walk very little until he was fully recovered, and therefore still needed a caretaker. While the first bit was true, the second wasn't.

There _was_ very little walking required within the house, and he fended for himself quite well.

I just hadn't been ready to tell them about our relationship. I was afraid they wouldn't take it seriously. That they'd think it was fling, and I had fallen under some spell for a man who was only using me. And Will had understood my reluctance.

When he had told his parents a few weeks back, it had been a disaster, if for different reasons.

He hadn't meant to say anything yet. But he had been avoiding the conversations about what he wanted to do with his future once he was recovered, and his parents had been insistent. Will suspected they thought he had lost the drive he had had once, and wanted to make sure he would rise again in the world.

Once Will had given Steven the most vague answer he could about the company he planned to build, he continued to try to dig for more. And then began to very strongly suggest he start his new company with his cousin Joseph as partner. When Will kept putting up excuses, one way or another, Steven suspected something and asked if he meant to partner with me.

Will's shock, and hesitation to answer was all that Steven needed. And there was no point in denying it. They would have to find out sooner or later. What ensued was very unpleasant for Will, and he made up his mind that he had been right to put distance with his parents all along. I felt his pain, but had to admit that he was in a difficult position.

Will refused to tell me more about what his parents had been telling him, but from what I could catch from his responses, they were none too glad about it, as we had expected. And his reluctance to share it with me convinced me that it was much worse.

From what I _could_ catch, it seemed his father thought I had brainwashed him in some way, and was now trying to make my way up the world through his son. It didn't seem that he could believe his son capable of attaching himself to someone long-term. Regardless of whether he believed Will when he told him he loved me, Steven seemed to think he should do with me what he wanted, and move on. But that he didn't need to make me a lasting person in his life by making me his partner in business.

I knew I was not experienced or knowledgeable in the field as he was. But I also trusted Will. And he wanted us to continue working together, to build something of our own. He had faith in me, and in us.

His mother seemed to be more kind about it, as there was less yelling once she was on the phone. But she didn't encourage him in his course any more than his father did.

She seemed to believe Will more in that he was sure this was a good idea, but she also thought that the possibility of us ending things in the future was a very real one. And that working together would be awkward and strained after that. She seemed more willing to give Will the benefit of the doubt, however, in that this might work.

And I'd be lying if I said the same thought hadn't crossed my own mind.

But I looked at our first five months together as a trial of sorts. And we had sailed over those waters as smooth as I never believed possible. I was waiting for Will to become bored with me any day, or for some of the feelings to lessen, but that day had yet to come. I woke up every morning as in love with him as the last, if not more, and he seemed to experience the same occurrence.

To say that we didn't have any sort of problems, or arguments, or adjusting to do would be lying. But the truth is the hardest argument to settle had been easier than most with Patrick. There was just something between us that had always been missing in any other relationship I'd had, which made us put the other's interest before our own, and once that was done, reaching a happy solution for both had only been a matter of working together.

We often joked that as lucky and happy as we were, we would never be able to brag about it to anyone, as none would believe us.

Therefore, it seemed an awful thing to plan for _when_ we broke up. I didn't want the day to come. And I wanted to believe the day _would_ _never_ come.

How could it?

The more days that went by, the more I was convinced that when you love someone, as I love him, there was nothing that we couldn't conquer.

I didn't want to plan for awful things that I wished never to happen. And I wouldn't.

And his parents would understand, eventually, they would have to. There is no better way to prove something than letting time pass and prove it for you.

I just hoped my own parents could be more understanding.

I wasn't blind. I knew what it looked like. We had been living together for months now. Most would expect something to happen due to the closeness. And it wouldn't be the first time someone made a similar mistake.

I knew it could seem like we were in over our heads, thinking we could be a couple and build a company together when we had only been with each other for very little time, and seemingly only out of forced closeness rather than actual want to be together.

It would be even harder for my parents to cope with it, being that as far as I had shared with them, I was still only his caretaker.

They only wanted the best for me, I knew that, and they would see dangers in this.

But I'd never felt surer of anything else in my life before. Even by a long shot.

I felt Will squeeze my hand as I placed the car in park at the doctor's office.

He could no doubt sense how nervous I was.

I had told my parents we would come by after this visit to the doctor as we often did, to give them the good news of Will's full recovery, and I was sure they expected to be told I'd be moving back in, as well.

"Ready?" he asked as he motioned with his head towards the building.

I nodded with a smile, taking in his reassuring eyes, and letting the feel of his touch soothe me.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"We don't have to say anything, you know?" he asked me as he drove us silently to my parents' flat.

One look at him, and I knew he meant it.

As we had expected, the doctor had lifted all final limitations on him, and Will had wanted to take advantage of it right away, and get behind the wheel of a car. Even if it wasn't his Aston Martin.

"I think Treena will burst if she has to hold it in any longer" I said, strongly considering his offer.

"I don't care, Lou" he said seriously. "You know how I feel about her… and I know she is your sister and your best friend, but I don't get the feeling that she ever has your best interests in mind" he expressed with concern.

"She's my sister, Will" I replied, unable to think of any other defense.

"There's more that makes a sister than blood bonds. Trust me, I know" he retorted as he pulled into the building's car park.

I knew he had a point.

"It'll be alright" I said to him with a reassuring smile. "I'll have to give a reason why I'm not moving back in. They'll expect it" I said drawing close to him to cup his cheek in my hand. "Let's get this over with" I added as I drew closer to him, and placed a kiss on his lips. He returned the kiss with more intensity, placing his hand on my hip, and running it up my body, till I pulled back, before I got too caught up in the kiss.

"Will" I breathed out. "We're about to go inside" I added, my face flushed with the feelings he could ignite in me within seconds.

"I'm sorry" he said with a mischievous chuckle. "I can't help myself, you know that" he added, his eyes dropping to cover the length of my body, and stealing another kiss.

"Well, you'll have to!" I exclaimed giggling, and grudgingly trying to escape his reach. "We're in the car park!" I added, stepping out of the vehicle and walking towards the lift with Will following closely behind.

Within seconds, we were at my parent's door, all giddiness gone from my mood, and being replaced by uneasiness.

"There you guys are! Come in, come in" my dad said good-naturedly as he opened the door to us. "So, what's the good news?" he asked Will.

"All cleared!" Will answered with an easy smile.

"That's good to hear, Will" my dad responded, but all I could think about was the question that was inevitably coming.

Congratulations came from the rest of my family- my mother, my sister- who gave me a look that left me in no question as to her unchanging opinion about my secret- and finally Will saluted my grandfather who gave him a slight nod.

I hugged and kissed them all, specially thinking about what I had to say, and how it may be taken by them. Seeing their happy faces made me wonder if they were happy because they believed I'd be moving back in- whether they missed me or my paychecks.

Regardless of the answer, there was only one thing to do. As we sat down for dinner, I practiced over and over in my head what I had planned to say, but before I could find the right moment, my father beat me to it.

"So, Lou when do you think you'll be moving in again? A coworker of mine offered his lorry! It's an old one. Kept it out of sentimentalism, really. Used to be his old man's. Anyways, he says for a few pounds he'll lend it to us for the day so we can move your things back in. If you can manage it, this Sunday, I can even lend you a hand. Not Saturday, though. I'm actually putting in a few extra hours. There's some work we gotta catch up on. I'm telling you, your old man isn't doing too bad in his job, sweet pea" he said with a pleased smile. "And all thanks to Will, here" he added as he gave Will a grateful look.

Well, this was the moment, then.

"Actually Dad, I'm not moving back in" I said, trying to maintain eye contact, but failing.

I could see my mum putting down her fork slowly, Grandpa was unaffected, and Treena pretended not to be interested, but I could tell her ear was perked up to hear it all.

"Why ever not, pumpkin? These London flats are too expensive. You're better off just moving back in with us. Besides, Thomas has missed you" he answered, looking to where my nephew was sitting, watching telly.

Thomas _had_ gotten so much bigger. I had felt as if I'd missed out on so much over these past few months being away from them.

"I know, Dad. And I've missed you all so much, too!" I replied wholeheartedly, reaching out to grasp my dad's hand on the table. "I actually wanted to speak to you all about my plans tonight" I said, looking around the small table.

These were my loved ones, and yet I could start to feel the perspiration in my forehead appearing. I was so afraid of disappointing them, of causing them hurt.

"Lou and I have decided to stay living together" Will spoke up, to my surprise and relief, breaking the ice.

There were no replies for a few seconds.

Mum and Dad's faces were unreadable.

"As… roommates?" my dad asked eventually.

"Bernard" my mother called out to him apprehensively.

"No, Dad. As boyfriend and girlfriend" I added as calmly as I could.

"But you never moved out when you were with Patrick, and you all dated for years" he said confused.

"Well… Will's business advising is really taking off, and we thought we could do it together. After all, we seem to make a really good team" I explained enthusiastically.

"I didn't really know you wanted to do that long-term" my dad said, directing himself at Will.

"I didn't plan on it, but my current clients are begging me to stay on, and they're directing others to come to me. It's become quite profitable, and less stressful than what I used to do before. So I thought, why not follow it and see what happens?" Will calmly replied.

"Isn't that something, Josephine?" my dad asked my mum, with a smile, but I could tell he was unsettled by all the news.

"That's really great, Will" my mum pitched in, her smile wavering. The tension was palpable.

I knew I was making the right choice, but it seemed the only one on board with me was Will.

"I find myself the happiest when I work with Louisa" Will started, breaking the silence, "and I want to follow this with her. I know her least favorite part of our last work was when tough decisions had to be made. Unfortunately, when buying and selling companies, sometimes the only way to make a profit is to cut out jobs that aren't crucial to the enterprise, or terminating those who are being overpaid due to working for many years there. While I was able to tune that out, and do what I had to do, it was quite hard for Louisa, and I think if I want her to be happy working with me, then this business advising is a better choice" Will explained, shedding light on something he had never even told me.

I felt myself touched at the words, at the fact that he had noticed that, and had taken it into account when deciding what do next career-wise.

I tried to meet his eyes, and to say with mine how much I loved him, and appreciated his thoughtfulness.

When I went back to look at my parents, I saw something new in them as well, as if they had seen or heard something that had broken down their prejudices.

"I really appreciate you doing that for my daughter" my dad said, closing the conversation once and for all.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

As I washed dishes, and Mum dried and put them away, I took a look at Will as he sat among the rest of the family.

He was always so good with people. Even Thomas had warmed up to him over time. He seemed to be shoving his trainset in Will's face excitedly, as Dad tried to hold him back a bit.

"He's good to you, isn't he?" Mum asked me quietly as I handed her a clean dish.

"He is, Mum. The best" I replied, trying to appease any anxieties she may have.

"And he seems to really care for you, too" she commented.

"It does look that way" I said with a pleased smile.

We worked in silence for a few more seconds before she spoke again.

"If that ever changes, dear, you always have a home with us" she assured me.

"Thanks, Mum" I said, stopping my task to look her in the eyes. They seemed tired, her face older. I couldn't tell exactly what it was, but I could take a good guess at what it could be.

She had never really gotten used to the city. She had lived in a small quiet town all her life. I remember how she enjoyed the clean air, and the neighborly community we lived in, how she enjoyed caring for our garden, and cleaning our house.

And she wasn't the only one. While Treena was loving the city life, and Dad was really proud of his job, I could see the sadness in Grandpa's eyes. He no longer had a porch or yard to sit on, or a pretty view out of his living room window. He was cooped up in here all day, just existing, every second of every day wilting away a bit more.

I wouldn't be surprised if in the future, once Treena could be on her own, or when she was done with Uni, that they would take off and move back to Pembroke. And I couldn't blame them. Even if it would mean missing them madly.

"Have you been back to visit, Mum?" I asked her.

"Not yet, but I've kept in contact over the phone" she said, her eyes glued to the cup in her hand.

"You should take a weekend, and go see your friends" I suggested, as I held out a container for her to dry.

"We'll see" she replied pessimistically, as she took it from my hand.

"Why don't we all go together?" I asked, reaching to place my hand softly on her arm. "Just take off one weekend and go? Will hasn't been to see his parents in a few months, and his sister might come home sometime this year, we could make a trip of it, and go together! Will and I would have to spend time with his family, but you guys could visit all your friends, and see our old house" I added, trying to muster some enthusiasm from her. "What do you say?" I asked excitedly. I could see her thinking about it, and the prospect seemed to lighten her mood.

"Would Will be alright with that?" she asked apprehensively.

"I'd have to ask, but I don't see why not" I replied positively.

"I'll mention it to your Dad" she said, with a small smile.

"It'll be so great, Mum!" I exclaimed as I turned back to the sink.

I hated what this change was doing to her and Grandpa, and wished I could know it was only temporary.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The drive home was pleasant. We had done what we had to do, and at the end of the night, everyone seemed pleased enough with it. Even Treena seemed satisfied that she no longer had to keep the secret.

The road had become so familiar, and I could already imagine myself missing the house we had spent the last six months living in- the house that had seen so many firsts for us, had witnessed our growing together, our first months as we discovered what it was like to be with someone who complimented you in every way, and whom you could love entirely, and in spite of their faults.

I thought I would even miss Nathan, who had become such a close part of us in these last few months, and hoped he and Will could remain close, no matter what happened. He was a good friend to Will. Not like Rupert, or his other mates, who had proved themselves to be as shallow as they come.

"How much longer do you think we'll stay in this house?" I asked Will. "I know you must be desperate to move back to London" I added, remembering how much he had missed the city at first.

"I was thinking a few more months, till the company is more established, and then we can rent a working space in Southwark, or perhaps Canary Wharf, and live nearby. For now, we have a good setup at the house, and renting a flat with space for the office would be a bit out of our reach for the time being" he explained, as if he had been giving this a lot of thought already. And knowing Will, it wasn't surprising at all. "What do you think?" he asked, as an afterthought.

"Me? Um, that sounds great!" I said, a little surprised at his question. "I like the house. I wouldn't mind it for a few more months" I added.

"I have to get used to asking you these things now" he said between serious and teasing. "You're going to be my partner, not my assistant anymore" he said giving me look out of the corner of his eye.

"You know, I was thinking about that, and… shouldn't we change the name of the company?" I asked.

"Whatever for? The website is familiar to our clients, and rebranding might throw them off, or make new ones skeptic" he replied, all businesslike.

"Perhaps when we are more established, then? When we have our offices in London, and all?" I asked kindly.

"What would you like to call it?" he asked me curiously.

"I like the idea of my name being up there, too. At least when we get a real office with a sign, and all, right? Isn't that how partnerships work?" I pried, testing the waters.

"Traynor & Clark, then?" he asked.

"Hmmm… I think Clark & Traynor sounds better. Or 'Clark, Traynor & Company', once we have more employees" I suggested.

"So, you just want your name up there, basically?" he asked, after a few seconds pause.

"Yes" I replied with a smile.

"Consider it done, darling" he said with a wink and smile.

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 **A/N: Sorry once again, that this chapter took forever to update. It's getting harder and harder for me to write as we near the end more and more. I do apologize, but I hope you guys enjoyed it (:**

 **Much love! And thank you to all who continue to read and review! (:**


	38. Chapter 38

**Thank you guys so much for your continued support! (: It means the world to me to have such wonderful readers!**

 **I did want to address a concern pointed out to me by a guest reviewer in that Will and Lou's relationship seemed borderline perfect. It by no means is. I just don't wish to write about their problems. I feel this story has had enough angst as it is, and I want to leave them with a bright future. I know it may seem as if relationships like that don't exist when so many of us struggle to find someone we feel good with. But let me assure you they do, and better than those as well. Are they rare? Yes. But that it what makes them so special. The reality is that the odds of us experiencing or knowing about one of them close to us is scarce. But what is fanfiction if not a way to escape reality and find hope in those scarce odds?**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Chapter 38**

"What do you think?" I asked her as she brought the sample near her nostrils and took a whiff.

I watched her eyebrows momentarily constrict, but within milliseconds, she had schooled her expressions into one of fake agreeableness.

"It's lovely" she said with a smile I knew she was faking. It didn't quite reach her eyes that were bulging out excessively.

"You hate it, Clark" I said with a bit of shock.

"No, it's really lovely. Let's get it" she said feigning excitement, almost jumping in place.

I chuckled at her eagerness to not disappoint me, but I wasn't about to make her buy a scent she didn't enjoy just so I could smell it on her.

"No" I said determined, handing the bottle back to the store associate.

"I thought you always liked it for me" she replied as she looked at the young man take Papillons Estrême and placing it behind the clear glass.

"I _thought_ it would smell great on you. Admit it, Clark. You hate it" I pushed as I walked past her to look at other possibilities. We had walked into L'Artisan Parfumeur to get her a perfume, and we were going to walk out with one. "Excusez-moi" I said to the attendant as my eyes landed on the one I _felt_ she would love. "Laisse-nous essayer Annick Goutal's Eau d'Hadrien" I added as he came closer.

I watched him raise his eyebrows at me as he slowly opened the delicate gold detailed glass door, took out the small glass dome, and opened it with precise movements. A few seconds later, he was handing us the scented handkerchief and I passed it along to Lou.

"Do you know this one?" she asked me as she took it in her hand and brought it closer to her nose.

I didn't answer. I just watched her face. I wanted to see her reaction. Of course, I could be wrong again. But I had a feeling she would take to this one.

I watched her eyes close, and remain close, as she inhaled a breath, and froze. I watched her lashes squirm against her cheeks, and her eyebrows lift high in her forehead, her skin rolling into the prematurely set wrinkles from her larger-than-life facial expressions. Her lips opened slightly, her shoulders raised, and after a few seconds, she let out a satisfying sigh.

I felt a haughty smile pull at the corners of my lips, and I let it.

Seeing her react to the scent in actual enjoyment was worth the disappointment of her disliking the perfume I had originally thought she would wear so well.

"Will, this is amazing!" she exclaimed, her voice getting higher with each consonant she pronounced.

I chuckled, pleased, and gestured to the man, whose name tag I noticed said 'Jean', to take it to the register.

"I love it so much! It's smells amazing!" she said excitedly, as I watched her smile transform her entire face, eyes and all, and I brought my arm across her shoulders, pulling her to me, and kissing the top of her forehead, making sure not to mess her intricate braid and butterfly pins hairstyle.

I noted, as I had of recent, how pleasing it was to have someone so much smaller than yourself. I had always been one to look for long skinny legs. They were so elegant and beautiful. But Louisa's were shorter and fuller than my other girlfriends'. And, to my pleasant surprise, they were just as pleasing, if not more, than any other's.

It also was inexplicably satisfying to watch her stand on her tip toes to kiss me, and surprisingly untroublesome to bend down for her, when her heels weren't tall enough to facilitate it.

It had been a month since I had been officially fully recovered, and I had been making the arrangements for this trip ever since. Paris was one of my favorite cities in the world, and I was impatient to show it to Lou. She pretended she was happy with a simple life, and I believe if her sister hadn't forced them to, she may never have left that claustrophobic little town we both called home.

But there was a hunger in her. A fearlessness, I could see it.

I saw it awaken the first time she closed her first deal. I saw it surface, from where she had buried it, like most people do. And I wanted to be her freedom, to be that push she needed to live as boldly as she liked, and experience the exhilaration of her possibilities, expand her incredibly clever mind to its limits.

I could tell even now, she thought less of herself than she should. She saw me, and felt lower because her education was more limited. And I meant to fix that, if she let me.

"So, now we are going to the famous Café Marquis?" she asked me as we walked hand in hand.

"Only famous to me, but yes. It's a little-known secret, but they do have the most delectable croissants in all of France" I said to her, trying to express just how wonderful they were.

"Oh, and you've tried them all, haven't you?" she asked with a shake of her head, and fluttering of her eyes.

I looked down at her, amused by her, and enraptured in those red lips.

"Aren't you cheeky today?" I finally replied, wondering to myself just how much lipstick I would get on myself if I kissed her right now. "That does smell fantastic on you, Clark" I added, as the gentle breeze carried the scent from her neck up my nostrils.

I watched her giggle, and look down in embarrassment- a gentle pink covering her cheeks.

I took a look around me, taking in the moment, walking in my favorite street of my favorite city in the world, the smell of freshly baked croissants reaching me, mixed with the aroma of the dark roast coming from the steaming cups of the consumers sitting outside on the metal chairs, trying to stay under the umbrellas as much as possible to shield themselves from the hot summer sun, and realized that the one place I loved above all others, the one I thought could not be improved upon, turned out to be missing just one thing to be perfect.

And she was walking right next to me.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Clark, have you really come to Paris, to eat a salad?" I whispered as I leaned forward across the table.

"I'm not sure I know what anything else in the menu is!" she responded nervously, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she looked back again at the menu.

"Would you let me order for you?" I asked, excited to be able to show her all the delights that Pur' - Jean-François Rouquette had to offer.

She looked at me apprehensively.

"I don't want you to order me something odd, again" she said, looking in awful despair.

I chuckled at this.

"No more clams, noted" I replied. "How do you feel about lobster?" I asked looking down the menu.

I watched her nose cringe in disgust, and realized, most of these things would hardly appeal to her.

"Have they got any chicken?" she asked embarrassed.

I didn't have to look at the menu to know they didn't serve anything like what she meant by 'chicken'.

"Perhaps, we should go elsewhere" I suggested.

I watched her eyes light up, but she restrained herself.

"No, we got all dressed up. After all, I have to experience France the right way" she said with a smile, picking up the menu and attempting to read it again.

"Clark, let's get out of here" I said, getting up and extending my hand with a reassuring smile.

"Won't they be upset we walked out on our reservation?" she whispered as she looked around for our uppity-nosed waiter.

"Not if we're quick enough to leave" I said mischievously, and was rewarded by a delighted smile from her as she picked up the skirts of her dress and stood up.

We began walking quickly to the door before we were intercepted by our waiter, who seemed to pop out of thin air.

"Est-ce que tu pars? Quelque chose ne va pas?" he asked us with a feigned look of concern.

"Oui, je crains que votre restaurant ne soit pas à la satisfaction de mon amour. Elle a vu un rat sortir de votre cuisine. Excusez moi. Vous pouvez le dire à votre gestionnaire" I replied with every bit of entitlement I had in me, and made my way past him with Clark in tow.

I could hear her giggling quietly as we walked out of the front doors and out into the street.

"What did you tell him?" she asked. "He looked absolutely mortified!" she exclaimed as she covered her contagious smile.

"That you'd seen a rat" I said as I began walking us away from the establishment.

She gasped audibly.

"You did not! That poor man!" she said shocked, but in laughter. "They'll shut down the whole place! Will!" she added, trying to sound upset, but I could tell she was amused.

"They won't. Trust me" I assured her, though, in actuality, I had no idea what they would do. "Fish and chips, then ice cream afterwards?" I asked her out of the corner of my eye, as if I didn't know she would love the idea.

"Yes!" I heard her squeal, then pull my arm down and smush a kiss on my cheek as hard as she could. "Can we go dressed like this?" she asked.

"Why not?" I asked her with a smile. "It is a special occasion" I added.

"Yes, it is" she replied, pleased, her smiling eyes twinkling under the moonlight.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"This is so gorgeous!" she exclaimed breathlessly as we stood outside the balcony of our hotel room. "I could get used to this view" she added dreamy-eyed.

"You can say that, again" I said, as I stood next to her, equally engrossed in the view of the city.

Today marked half a year since the night we had admitted our feelings to each other at Clara's wedding.

"Thank you for showing me this" she said looking sideways and up at me.

"I want to show you so much more, Clark" I replied. "There's so much of the world I want you to see" I added as I thought of all the wondrous sights I had seen in my life, and how she would love each and every one of them.

She went back to look over the city, but I stayed looking at her, and the way her shoulders peeked out of her sleeping shirt.

"What?" she asked with a smile, as she noticed me staring.

"Nothing" I replied as I turned back to lean on the balcony and look out with her.

Then I felt her arm on my shoulder, turning me towards her, her other hand reaching for my face, her mouth reaching up for mine, and finally her lips meeting mine.

I responded in earnest, grabbing her waist and pulling it against me, then taking ahold of her head and holding it in place so I could deepen the kiss.

Her mouth obliged me, and I felt an exhaled sigh release from her lips when I parted from her mouth to trail her jawbone, kiss by kiss, going down to her neck.

Her head fell back as she allowed me more space, and I heard a small whimper as I kissed that spot I knew she loved.

My hand trailed her back, until l reached her knees, which I bent with my arms, picking her up and drawing a gasp from her.

In few more steps, I had laid her down on the pillows and she watched me as I crawled over her, and began kissing where her shirt ended, trailing kisses up to her ear.

"I hope you weren't hoping to rise early tomorrow" I said into her ear, and heard a giggle out of her throat.

"I don't think that'll be a problem" she answered humorously as her hands crept beneath my shirt, groping my back.

I scoffed. "Do not underestimate me, Ms. Clark" I replied, as one of my hands began lifting her shirt.

Whatever snarky reply she had in mind was drowned out by the involuntary sound evoked shortly after.

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 **A/N: I apologize profusely to anyone who speaks French! I'm sure mine is full of cringe-worthy mistakes!**

 **Another short-ish chapter, mostly fluff, but they deserve it, after all they had to go through (:**

 **I have another few more chapters planned out, perhaps two or three, plus an epilogue.**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this one! I wanted to give them their Paris trip they never had the chance to enjoy in canon. It was a pleasure to write it and I hope it was equally enjoyable for you guys to read.**

 **Next chapter shouldn't take so long. I had some complications in real life that kept my mind pretty uninspired but I'm glad to be back.**

 **As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the chapter. Thank you for reading!**


	39. Chapter 39

**What excuse can I give for taking so long? Only my attachment to this story and the fear to see it end. I am soo sorry for taking so long, and I hope some of you will follow up with what's left. Without further ado… Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 39**

"I'm glad your family has managed to shake your sister off, and come back here" Will said reflectively as we walked down Main Street towards the Buttered Bun, just before the slight downwards slope before Francis Country Fashions. The washed out mint paint, the same since 2007, complimented the racks of comfortable but bright colored clothes in the windows. At least, much better than the bright peach they had had before.

"They didn't shake her off, darling" I said, amused by his choice of words, but also not wanting to think my parents thought of her as something to be 'shaken off', like a flea or a leech. She was family and we loved her, regardless of her faults.

The sound of my pumps clicked on the stones making up the sidewalk, sending comfortable chills through me, reminding me of times past when I walked this very walk every morning to work, hearing the same clicking noise with each step.

I saw him raise a single eyebrow at me, his way of saying 'whatever you say, love', before speaking again.

"All the same, it's the happiest I've seen your grandad since I've known him" he said sincerely.

"I know…" I said with a happy sigh, as I remembered him, walking into our old house, a peace taking over him. He didn't need words for me to know he finally felt at home.

It was a very unnervingly calm moment, like the eerie stillness before a storm hits.

Whatever happened, I was glad he was where he could be happy.

"I know it may be a very confining and unremarkable town for you, but for him, it's his whole life, where his best memories took place, where the love of his life rests…" I said, looking down at my feet as I thought of sad times.

"I know" he replied. "It isn't the place for me but, I've got some good memories of my own here" he said with a small smile.

"You remind me of Treena in that respect" I reflected, realizing finally whom he reminded me of when he spoke that way.

"What?" he asked confused, and not pleased. He wasn't a fan of my sister.

"She always spoke of leaving here, doing more. She was always too big for this town. Much like you" I said with a smile.

"I'll accept the one similarity, but no more than that" he said with a playful smile, as he lifted my hand and kissed the back of it, sending butterflies aloft in my stomach. How he could still do that to me after months of being together, I still couldn't quite figure out.

"Will…" I whispered to him as he began to kiss it all over. "We are in public!" I said with a giggle, not wanting him to stop, but also trying to avoid the looks of the town people.

"Very well" he acceded, putting it down but keeping a hold on it as we walked. "But you know I can't help myself" he said with a suggestive look, that made me break out in laughter, as I felt the heat rise to my face.

Nothing could ruin my mood today, or this weekend. Will's family had begun to treat me better this visit, my family was back in their home, my dad had found work already, and we were strolling down my home town to eat breakfast at my old job, and favorite place of all.

"Did you hear back about the sign for the office?" I asked Will, remembering how he kept going back and forth with the company that would install our company name in our small London office.

"I did. They promised to come out today, so we would have it up when we came back Monday" he responded.

"On a Saturday?" I asked, doubtful as to this unusual news.

"They were very apologetic that it had taken them this long, and that they kept pushing back the date, so they are making an exception for us this time" he explained.

"Oh, Will, you should have told them Monday would work too. They can come install it while we work. It wouldn't be an inconvenience for us" I urged.

"I thought of it, but decided against it. It's better they own up their mistake and lack of professionalism in this whole transaction, and act accordingly. If we didn't allow these companies to make up for their errors, they would go on and do it all over again to the next person who hires them" he elaborated with a great sense of justice.

Will believed in professionalism and going through with your word, and if it were up to him, he would make up any and all companies better.

"You really are out on a mission, aren't you?" I asked with a smile.

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"You're decided to improve whomever comes in your path, not just the companies you buy, it would seem" I explained.

I watched his face reflect on what I said for a moment before he spoke.

"I hadn't thought of it before, but you must be right" he said, as if he had only just realized it.

"I like that" I said simply. "You believe in what you do, and I respect that, Will" I said earnestly.

"Thank you, love" he replied, as I saw the satisfaction of that knowledge reflect on his handsome features, pride swelling within him because he was admired by the woman he loved.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The alarm went off on Monday morning, blaring louder than usual in my recollection.

We had just gotten back from Pembroke the night before, quite late too, and had barely just squeezed in four hours of sleep, or so.

"Do we have to come in today, Will?" I mumbled as I shifted in bed to look at him.

He was already sitting up, and rubbing his face with his hands.

"We must, love" he said. "If we aim to become a respectable company, we have to live by those standards, even now when we haven't so many clients, or other employees" he replied as he slowly got up and began to make his way into the bathroom.

I groaned loudly, as sleep fought beneath my eyes to keep them closed. I wished I had his strength and decision.

Preparing for my day was no enjoyable task for either one of us, but Will seemed to be too energetic about it, fretting about his hair more than usual, and choosing his nicest work suit.

"Are we meeting with anyone today, darling?" I asked him, as he carefully picked a small piece of lint off the pocket square in his suit.

"Not till Tuesday" he replied, offering no other explanation.

For my part, I was throwing on a comfortable orange jumper, my fluffy brown boots, and a kilted skirt with a warm colored pattern.

I felt awfully underdressed in comparison to him, but I couldn't bring myself to make more of an effort. As if he didn't look one hundred times better than me already on a regular basis without making any extra efforts…

I sighed as I took a look at my inferior appearance, and his dashing look that sent my heart beating faster.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, as he adjusted his tie to be exactly in the middle.

"Not yet" I replied approaching him. I took his freshly shaven face, so soft under my palms, and smelling of expensive shaving cream, and looked into his clear eyes, seeing a glimmer in them that told me there was something there that I didn't quite know. I kissed his lips, careful not to ruffle his hair, as I felt a passion awaken within him as well, pressing against my lips, bringing his hand to the small of my back, and pushing me against the sink. The strength of his kiss was unexpected, but not unwelcome. I felt the energy between us escalate, and broke the kiss before we both lost our heads.

I sighed happily as I saw his half smile grace that gorgeous mouth.

"Now I'm ready to go" I said.

Invigorated by the kiss, I felt my senses completely awaken as we drove to our small office, and the more my brain became clearer, the odder it seemed that he should have dressed so well today, on a day that nothing particular was taking place.

I decided to think no more of it, though. Were it for a good reason, he would have insisted I dress up as well.

"How did you end up instructing the sign company to spell out our company name?" I asked remembering that we had never settled in which last name would come first, his or mine.

He looked at me with an apprehensive look, but amused at the same time.

"Your name is going first" he replied defeatedly, and I smiled cheerfully.

"I can't wait to see it" I replied excitedly, though the more I thought about it, the worse I felt.

Little more than a year ago, I was only an assistant, learning from him. If anyone deserved to have their name go first, it was Will.

My face began showing more and more my regret at having pushed so hard for it. Once I had gotten away with what I wanted, I began to realize I didn't want to have it at all.

"I'm sorry, Will. I wish I hadn't pushed so hard to have my name first" I apologized.

"It's of no consequence, Clark" he said with an assuring smile, but it did nothing to alleviate the sinking feeling in my stomach.

"Can we change it back, do you think? Or is it too late?" I asked.

"It's alright, Clark" he assured me again with small smile. "I'm sure you'll like it once you see your name in the front of our little office" he added.

"Have you changed it on the official papers, yet?" I asked, looking for a way to go back.

"I haven't" he replied.

"Oh, good" I said. "Perhaps we can call them to come back and make it 'Traynor and Clark'. Sounds better too, now that I think of it" I added.

"I've already resigned myself to your name first, darling. It's alright" he tried to reassure me.

I tried to make myself feel better by telling myself he was alright with it, but no matter how hard I tried, my conscience kept scolding me, until the moment we turned on the street, and the sign became clear.

"TRAYNOR AND COMPANY" was written across the front, and my heart leaped at the mistake. We would have to have them come back and change it regardless!

"I can't believe they miswrote it!" I squealed excitedly as I stepped out of Will's Aston Martin.

I looked to Will and there was mischievous smile on his face.

"You aren't upset?" I asked. "Doesn't this lack of professionalism and accountability in the part of this well-established company bother you?" I mocked, so pleased in this outcome, as I followed him towards the door.

His lack of a reply was unnerving me some, and only adding to feelings of something not being quite right or normal this day.

"They didn't miswrite it" he said as he pulled the door open.

I opened my mouth to object when a blur of color caught my eye inside.

My mouth fell completely open and my heart began beating at a thousand beats per minute.

Across the office floor, was a mannequin wearing the most beautiful dress I had ever beheld.

It was the dress I kept designing over and over in my drawing pad, down to the subtle rainbow colors in ombré style from side to side. The tulle flowers with the rhinestones in the middle were there, the layers of the dress expanding out from the waistline, as I had drawn them were as puffy as I could imagine them.

But the most frightening thing was what my mind was putting together.

I had designed it as a wedding dress in my mind. Not for me necessarily, or maybe it was. But Will didn't know that. And there was no way that it could be what my heart wanted it to be. I needed to crush that thought before it took root in my heart.

I turned to Will to hug him senseless for having this beautiful dress made for me, but I was out of breath all over again.

He was kneeling, in his best suit, his hair and skin flawless, looking as dashing and handsome as only he could, with my favorite smile of his spread across his face, as his hand held a delicate gold band with an emerald in the middle.

I gasped and my hands came up to my lips.

This couldn't be.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes, as I shook my head, and watched his own eyes become glossy, as I tried to make up my mind as if to laugh or cry.

I ended up doing both.

The tears began rolling down my cheeks as laughter of pure happiness erupted in my throat.

"I told you I'd put your name first" he said, so pleased with himself, and with as much genuine happiness in his features as I'd ever seen.

Traynor and Company. Of course.

"You want me to…" I began to ask but couldn't say the words. In my head, it was still too good to be true.

"Become my wife? Yes. Clark…" he began with a smile, "I want you to be my Louisa Traynor, to know I can expect to see at my bedside every morning, to know even when I'm old and grumpy, I'll have you to make me laugh…"

He was going to say more undoubtedly, and as much as I wanted to hear his speech out, I wanted to kiss him more, to kiss him senseless, on the floor of our new office, and let the world be damned.

I violently threw myself at him, perhaps too strongly, as I crushed my lips to his, with all the strength and passion of my happiness.

I felt his hands grab my sides and hold me close to him as he returned my kiss as ardently as I was giving it.

"You can't be serious, Will" I said, breaking the kiss as tears ran down my face.

"Why not?" he asked smiling at me.

"You really want to marry me? _Me?_ You know it's forever, right?" I asked him.

"I'm counting on it" he said with a loving smile as he wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I looked for the ring I had seen in his hand, eager to put it on my hand, to feel it was real.

"I hope it's to your liking" he said as he slid it in my finger.

"I love it, but where did you get it?" I asked, wondering where he had found something so unique and different. It was certainly not like anything I had ever seen behind the glass displays of any jewelry shop.

I saw his face constrict in embarrassment.

"Pawn shop. According to the owner, it belonged to an elderly couple who had recently passed, and their children sold it to him. I know it's a little morbid, but it was the only ring I managed to find that seemed your style. But we can return it if you'd rather pick something else" he assured me.

I shook my head.

"I love it, Will" I replied.

"It's not morbid?" he asked.

"It's lovely that it has a history behind it" I assured him. "And if it will make me your wife, it could be made from straw for all I care" I said laughing of happiness.

This seemed as good a moment as any other to pick ourselves off the floor, and so we gently got on our feet again, and I remembered the dress.

"Is it for our wedding?" I asked, feeling strange saying those words… our wedding. It sent chills through me to speak of it.

"If you wish it" he replied.

"I do!" I exclaimed. "How'd you get it?" I asked.

"I had it custom made by seamstress. I hope she recreated it properly" he said as he walked me towards it.

I examined it and it was as close to the picture I'd had in my head as it could be. I certainly couldn't have recreated it so well. While I had been taking Fashion Design classes I was nowhere near as skilled as you needed to be to create something as elaborate as a ball gown.

I felt my heart could burst, and it was all at the hand of this wonderful man, who it was hard to believe, wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, as much I did with him.

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 **A/N: One more chapter and that will be all, folks! :'(**

 **Here is a link to a picture of my inspiration for the wedding dress: www .dhresource 0x0s/f2 -albu-g4-M00 -5B-E3-rBVaEVf8qY2Ad LdhAAE7WVQwvqk406. jpg/rainbow-colorful- prom-dresses- .**

 **Here is a link to a picture of my inspiration for Lou's engagement ring: s3. weddbook t4/2/ 6/4/2644485/emerald -ring-rose-gold -engagement-ring- promise-ring- unique-engagement- ring-vintage-inspired -dainty-emerald-jewelry .jpg**

 **Just remember to take out the spaces when you paste it into your browser**

 **All my love to you all who read this chapter, and once again, I apologize for the insane wait. I hope this chapter was worth it (:**


	40. Chapter 40

**So, this is the end (: I am so sorry this took so long. I wrote this so differently, so many times, and none satisfied me, none felt good enough. At last, I feel this version is the best I can do without taking more months to get it perfectly.**

 **Thank you to all you lovely people, who have shared with me in our love for this couple, and this attempt to give them the happy ending they deserve.**

 **I hope it was all you imagined.**

 **I am humbled by the response, and support this story garnered throughout the last year, I can't thank you all enough for the encouragement you provided, helping me give my best to the story, whether you've been following it from its early start, or if you only found it a few chapters ago.**

 **And a special thanks to all who have been so patient, and so generous with your reviews chapter after chapter, providing feedback, optimism, and helpful suggestions.**

 **I really, really, REALLY, could not have done it without you guys.**

 **Good bye, for now!**

 **Epilogue**

"You look absolutely beautiful" Will said as he laid on the white sheets.

"Funny" I said, though I didn't feel like laughing.

"Come here" he said. "Right up next to me."

The fear that had been bubbling inside me reached its peak, and I felt I might have a panic attack. This couldn't be right. The time couldn't be here already.

I gave a him a kiss, and another, and another. No number of kisses were enough when I thought of the fact that one of them would be the last.

"How is it you have the right to destroy my life, but I'm not allowed a say in yours?" I asked, wanting to shake his body to get a reaction.

The sobs were rising out of my throat desperately, but he remained calm, and decidedly unmoved.

Why wasn't my love enough? Why wasn't it good enough?

I cried out in a final sob, shaking my body to the core, jumping into a sitting position.

Where was Will?

I felt my chest rise and fall violently, my cheeks wet with tears.

"Will?" I called out in distress.

I looked next to me on the bed, but he wasn't there.

The room was different, and it was dark outside.

"Will!"

I got up and ran. His mother had insisted he sleep in another bedroom tonight.

The door to his room couldn't come fast enough.

I burst in it forcefully, perhaps loud enough to wake others in the house. I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Will!" I cried out in relief, as I saw him lying there, fast asleep, his face in complete peace. He had looked at peace in my dream, too.

"Lou?" he asked, as his eyes adjusted, and looked to the source of the uproar that had roused him.

I fell on my knees beside his bed, took his hand and kissed it.

"I'm sorry, I had to see you. I…" I began to explain, and felt sorry I had woken him up. We had a long day ahead of us tomorrow. "It was only a bad dream" I explained embarrassed, as I felt the tears drying on my cheeks.

"Want to climb on?" he asked, lifting the covers he was under.

 _Yes, please_ , I said in my thoughts, but my emotional turmoil was too much, and I couldn't utter the words.

I just slid under the offered blankets, and pressed my back to his chest, bringing his arms around my body, and holding them in place with mine.

I felt his breathing on my neck, and I could tell he was slipping back into sleep.

"I'm right here with you, Clark" he said with a deep breath as he shifted to hold me as close as he could.

Just the feeling of his body lining up with mine, the heavy feel of his arm over my torso, the familiar warmth emanating from him, it was all I needed for peace to fall over me again, and to make the awful dream disappear from my thoughts.

It was only a dream, after all. Not the real thing.

The real thing was right here, next to me, holding me close, ready to marry me tomorrow.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

My heels clicked on the marble staircase, as Treena helped me every step of the way down. My dress was so large, I couldn't see where I was stepping next.

I wanted to look at Dad, and smile back at him, to enjoy his proud face, as he watched me descend the stairs. I couldn't believe I was missing it, but I really had to focus on making each step the exact same length, so I wouldn't trip down the stairs.

Once I felt his old, calloused hand take mine, I knew I could look up. There he was, every familiar wrinkle, his thinning hair carefully combed back, and his suit looking three times pricier than anything he had bought in his entire life.

I hugged him, softly, so as not to smear my make up on his pristinely clean jacket, and I felt his lips tentatively kiss my elaborate hair.

"You look so beautiful, lamb" he said, trying to tuck a strand of hair that had been purposely left down.

The gesture was so sweet and gentle that I couldn't bring myself to correct it, and let my hair be damned.

"I'll miss you, Dad" I said, unable to reject the thought that after today, all would be different.

"Nothing will change, sweet pea. Your sister and you have been living in London and us here for a few months now. We'll still visit each other, just as often" he assured me as he squeezed my hand between his much larger ones.

"I know, Dad. I just… I won't be your girl anymore" I said, as my eyes got dangerously watery.

"Don't cry, you'll ruin your look. Besides, you've been Will's girl for a long time now. Longer than you realize, lamb" he said, softly lifting my chin to make me look up. "Now, cheer up. Your fiancée will think you're getting cold feet" he added gently, his eyes almost disappearing with his smile, in that way that I was always proud to resemble him.

He took my hand and placed it in the hook of his arm, allowing for Treena to walk out of the house, and into where the lawn had been decorated for the ceremony.

She looked absolutely stunning, as she walked slowly down the long white cloth spread out in the grass.

I took a deep breath, and matched my dad's slow step, as we began walking down the aisle.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Move closer, you smell fantastic" Will whispered near my face as we danced slowly under the white tent.

I obliged him happily, feeling his cleanly shaven face against my own, smelling his intoxicating scent, and wishing we were enjoying this moment alone, rather than being stared at by dozens of people.

I tried to forget them, and just enjoy the feeling of being in Will's arms, knowing he was my husband, and I his wife, and that unlike my horrid dream, we were both privileged to be well and together, for as long as life allowed it.

My Will, he was mine and I was his.

If I thought of the day we met, it seemed impossible that that man and I had promised ourselves to each other for life today.

When I remembered of the night we confessed our feelings for each other… the euphoria of the moment, the height of my feelings… it had seemed inconceivable that I could feel anything more wonderful.

Was life like this? Learning new ways in which to love each other, thinking our attachment to be impossibly strong, only for time to pass, and realize that it has morphed into something even more beautiful?

I thought I would be scared for this day to end, but now that it's here, I just can't wait… to live out the rest of my life with him.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

 _Months later…_

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"I can't do it. I can't do it" I repeat, over and over, as my mind tries to figure out why Will is smiling so much when I am under such stress.

"Just do it already!" Nathan yells from the water.

"YOU!" I scream back at him from the top of the cliff, with more anger than I've ever used while talking to him. "Stop encouraging him!" I screech, and hear Will laugh out loud.

"It's been my idea from the beginning, Lou. Would I be telling you to do something if I wasn't sure you would enjoy it?" he asked me, and my rational mind told me he was right, but my emotions were rejecting the idea of yielding to that charming smile, and sparkly eyes.

His body was shimmering so lovely under the Mediterranean sun, every muscle from his abs to his biceps, to his well-toned legs, making him look an awful lot like a Greek god.

And making me weaker in my resolve to refuse.

"I'll be with you the whole time" he said softly to me, as his fingers played with mine. "We'll jump together."

"How are you sure there aren't any rocks, or… or sharks?" I asked anxiously.

"I've done it a million times, Clark. You were so excited to do it before, what happened?" he asked close to my face.

"It's higher than I thought" I said shifting nervously.

"Close your eyes" he instructed me.

"No! You'll push me off!" I said, taking two steps back.

"I won't, Clark. I promise" he said amused.

I let out a defeated breath, and closed them.

I felt his hands cup my face, followed by the familiar touch of his lips on mine, if only a little more chapped from the sun.

The kiss was as reassuring as he meant it to be, making me feel calm and guarded, all at once.

"I vowed to protect you, remember? I intend to keep my promise" he said, after he broke the kiss. "We'll jump together, you'll hold my hand" he said, lifting my chin to look at him.

He looked so sure, so genuinely incontestable, I couldn't help but yield.

A small whimper left my lips as I turned towards the precipice, the figures of Nathan and his girlfriend so small at the bottom in the clear ocean water.

And in a second, our feet were in the air, and our bodies falling. I felt my stomach lift to my chest, the air leaving my lungs. The sensation of free falling being equally exhilarating, and terrifying.

Within seconds, our feet crashed with the surface of the water, and the rest of us immersed instantly.

My instincts kicked in, my feet shuffling to take me above water, and I took a breath as large as I could when I reached the surface.

I felt Will's hand reattach to mine, the crash into the water having broken the bond for a moment.

"How was that?" he asked, breathless.

It took me a second to answer, still catching up with the rollercoaster of emotions within me.

I breathed out heavily twice, my heart wanting to jump out of my chest.

"Why didn't you make me do that before?" I demanded with a laugh, as I brought Will's face to mine, rewarding him with an astounding kiss.

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 **FIN**


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